The Companion
by stacylk
Summary: How two lost souls find their way back to each other, and how together they discover the strength they thought they had lost.AU.
1. Chapter 1

Rated Adult for Language,Minimal Violence and Eventual Sexual situations.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Reviews are appreciated and loved.

**The Companion**

Chapter One

The smooth flow of the train is constant, contrasting the ever changing rocky world outside of the window. The clear glass is cool against his forehead as he watches the leaves of district eleven fly up into the air riding the waves of the wind. They remind him of fairy play from one of the books he remembers reading when he was younger. The memory feels almost foreign to him; the life he had before he was fifteen is now faded and worn. It's difficult for him to remember the boy he once was, but there's times he catches glimpses of a younger Peeta Mellark, and all he feels is numb. The initial step to becoming a companion was to enhance the traits he had that would solidify his presence, his charm, wit, and the ease he had when dealing with people, a manipulation which kept his stomach relatively full when he was forced to hustle and con to survive, further more ensure his prosperity.

Others like his distrust, and pride were the ones he had to lessen or leave behind entirely. Quietly he sighs, as the rich colors of the orchards blend into sleek metal, and mineral tones, cold and unfeeling, an exact reflection of the city itself. He closes his eyes thankful for the warm tones before the numbness sets in again, a needed temperament when dealing with the Capitol and its inhabitants. It had been almost five years since he had been making the trip from district twelve to the Capitol, the city at the center of all the districts which surrounded it accordingly.

He enjoyed taking the scenic route to travel through the agriculture district; the mazes of the orchards gave him a sense of symbolism, a reminder of the tangled parts of his identity he had to constantly unravel to be able to truly breathe. Peeta wore many masks, and at times he wondered if he had ever been anything authentic, anything pure, something true. He opened his eyes slowly, the cool condensation from the train window seeping through the layers of glass and plastic to spread over his skin.

There was one moment in his life where he felt content, a place with a girl where he would read to her, or hold her after she had been beaten by one of the home mothers, usually her nightmares were the reason for his embraces. He could still see her deep grey eyes looking at him through the window of the door, her hand pressed up against the glass, where he would cover hers with his. Even at thirteen he knew he loved her, counted the seconds before he was able to sneak back into the orphanage to care for her.

Peeta had loved a girl with so much of himself, and he never knew her name. Not once during the three years he had visited her, or kept her company had they talked of names, neither saw the reason behind such a thing, because when you're an orphaned district child in the Capitol your worth is less than an animal fattened for the slaughter.

He had escaped when he was twelve, finding that hustling on the streets was a more lucrative way to be fed than looking to the home matrons, who gave so little to the mass of parentless children. Months before she had arrived he had made it a priority to sneak in and out of the building with half of the food and supplies he had accumulated over that week. Usually it wasn't much, a couple loafs of bread, some easy to conceal fruit, usually apples, and a pound of dried meat, more than likely jerky made from grooselings.

It was during one of his scheduled drop offs that he had seen her hurling her body against the locked door. Even at thirteen he was already taller than most of the boys at the home, but he still had to stand on his toes to peer through the solitary windowed door. He had resisted the urge to jump back when a force hit the door in the pitch black room. The only source of light around was from the hung lanterns behind him lining the walls of the hallway. It had taken him a few seconds to adjust his eyes when he was met with the most striking grey eyes through the glass. The shadows of her face played on her skin from the reflection of the lights, but never reaching her eyes.

The heat emanating from them bore through him and he could feel his stomach drop. He could hear scratching coming from the window, looking over to the side he could see her nails baring into the lip of the window, as she held herself up to look through the glass. Her jaw was set and Peeta could see her grit her teeth, before her hands began to shake wildly before her grip gave and she fell from the window.

He suddenly felt empty inside, the connection severed. With all his height he rose up searching into the room, the darkness spilling over, he could barely make out movement as she scattered to the far wall. He pressed his hand over the glass, wanting to give her any sign that she wasn't alone.

The room wasn't foreign to him, he had spent more than one time locked in the bare room, filled with nothing but cold cement flooring, and paint chipped walls. The window located on the door was the only reminder of an outside world. He had wondered what merited her stay in solitary confinement, but he assumed it had been something worse than taking an extra helping of watered down broth.

He had stayed at the door for an hour before the sun began to rise knowing the matriarchs would be filling into the barracks soon so that everyone could begin their daily duties and work assignments. He rose up from the floor where had been sitting to tap the glass lightly, before making his way to the laundry window where he entered the home.

The stopping of the train brought him out of his memories, as he sat up moving his neck to the side hoping to work out the constant stiffness there. Peeta worked his right hand through his thick blonde hair smoothing it back, strands from his bangs wanting to hang freely around his face. With the other hand he smoothed the front of his black suit down, wanting to ensure he gave a good impression, as any companion worth his opulence would. He breathed in deep before swallowing, aware that the time to become one of those masks was at hand. At times it was easy to get lost in the illusion of being a man, forever searching if what he was feeling or thinking was genuine or simply a product of one of the facades.

Peeta had came to the realization that to be a companion it was better to be an empty vessel, than to have your own desires, because when you cared about something it was all consuming, filling you up, but to care also meant you had something to lose, and Peeta was convinced he couldn't handle losing anything else.

As he made his way through the velvet lined hallway of the train, he came to the exit stepping out hastily into the sunlight, the train ride, and even with how smooth it rode, still made him feel confined and cramped. He breathed in deeply, instantly revolted by the smell of bleach and an artificial stench of flowers, most likely the form of aerosol the Capitol used when washing down the streets. Like the mazes of district eleven, the bleach applied to the streets of the Capitol, with their assumptions of rinsing away their lewd acts, to the people of the Capitol redemption was as easy as applying a deodorant.

The odor in the air made him miss district twelve already, with its musky aroma of the woods found on his property, and the air even mixed with coal dust was still crisper, than the ammonia drenched oxygen of the Capitol. Everything is so much simpler for him when he's at home in district twelve able to just be Peeta, and not have to pretend that his life purpose revolves around the needs and wants of the Capitol.

Smoothing his jacket down once again, he takes in a deep breath finding it difficult to ignore the stench, and pushes himself onward towards where he knows the official offices lie. The train station is in the center of the downtown district, buildings covered in glass with metallic molding reflect the sun, casting colored shadows around him, as he makes his way through the crowds of commuters. The bright screens placed up against the walls continuously ran advertisements for fashion or the next surgical treatment fad to make its way around the social circles.

Peeta did his best not to pay attention to any of the nonsense. Even though he was constantly in thick of it, he kept a piece of himself back in district twelve where he felt he had at least a chance of feeling like himself, although it had been years sense he was fully able to look himself in the eye and not feel ashamed. Peeta squared his shoulders as he gracefully made his way through the crowd of station commuters. Out of the corner of his eye he could see groups of women gossiping behind gloved and manicured hands, their whispers loud enough to carry over to him.

He even recognized a few of them as former and present clients, their high pitched laughter causing him the need to shutter. However, he began to play his part, by winking at each one, before giving a short nod in their direction. A few appeared to almost faint, while others used certain gestures to signify their acknowledgement.

Peeta Mellark was an anomaly when it came to the concerns of the Capitol, especially its female population. Companions were all born of nobility or lordship, which made them Capitol born and something to be envied of by the district born citizens, which was in all ways common, something that was perceived as less than human, simpletons. However, when his fellow companions were from generations of servants to the Capitol, something to be admired, Peeta was an orphaned district born.

So with everything in the Capitol that caught the eye of those zealous to be the first to experience something new and even forbidden in all other cases, the district born companion with his charm and strong jaw was in high demand. On normal circumstances, someone of his upbringing would have been ostracized or the very least ignored, but he was different, and sometimes being different in the Capitol was the surest way to get you noticed. However with notoriety came attention, where your actions were closely watched.

After what felt more like hours than mere minutes, Peeta reached the enclosed walkway leading to the offices of _Companion Relations,_ with its deep gloss of green washing its way over the glass. It was always interesting to Peeta how a place that specialized in facilitating intimacy for the people of the Capitol had an air of clean lines and simplicity, when it was anything but. The bustle of people was even more confining than in the station, so when the sun finally spread over his face he couldn't resist a quiet sigh to escape his lips.

A small gust of wind slipped over his head curving its way around his neck and releasing a few of the strands of his bangs to fall around his blue eyes. The thin pieces of hair tickled his eyelashes, before he took his right to them and with one motion forming the hair with the rest, to be smoothed back. Peeta reached the doors with walking only a few yards out of the walkway, the sleek feel of the glass handles cold even with the sun, fit into his palms as he pulled the doors open simultaneously. He walked through as each door swung open, while he kept his shoulders squared as the crowd in the lobby watched him closely as he made his way over to where the elevators were kept. His black dress shoes clicked on the marble flooring, and he wanted more than ever to be back in district twelve where he could wear his worn brown boots and sit on his porch listening to Haymitch curse at the geese that regularly roamed the grounds.

But Peeta knew that his visits to the Capitol was about business and maintaining the life he had back in the district, was in direct collation with how well he maneuvered through the affairs of the Capitol, which would also guarantee that others in twelve would have the few liberties they were allowed to have.

The metal doors of the elevator opened in time as he approached the button, a few people walked out entering the lobby, but not before giving him a few glances, one woman with cotton candy pink skin to match her hair, bit her lip seductively while fluttering her lashes at him. Peeta nodded in her direction as he gave her a small smile, before walking into the elevator waiting for the doors to close. His shoulders fell a little as soon as he was alone, the whooshing of the elevator lines surrounding him.

Sometimes it was difficult to keep up appearances, when his first reaction was to be revolted by those who fancied his company. The young man looked up into the reflective doors of the elevator, the sight before him was one he saw often when visiting the Capitol, his blonde hair, which had darkened as he gotten older, was brushed back away from his face, the opposite of how he wore it free and hanging around his eyes when he was back in the district. The suit he wore now with its dark coloring and silk fabric was drastically different than the cotton slacks and plain button ups he wore when home. Everything about the man looking back was wrong, even the glint in his eye.

He barely felt the elevator stop as the doors opened revealing the plush brightly colored offices, the bodies of those in the waiting area crossing in front of him. Peeta swallowed, before squaring his shoulders and resuming the act he played out for those in the Capitol. The whispers began almost automatically as he headed down to the south wing of the complex.

He received more sideway glances and a few hard slaps to his backside, he had decided long ago that trying to take offense to something so childish was above his concerns; after all unwanted petting was on the lower scale of sexual harassment he had to endure when it came to the Capitol and its inhabitants. The walk down the hallway seemed longer than before, but the brightly colored hot pink glass leading to her office was unmistakable.

Peeta reached for the handle of the door, the name _Effie Trinket : Companion Relations Coordinator_ was written in delicate block letters in bold pink, her signature color. Peeta had to roll his eyes before entering, because if there was one person who could irritate him to new extremes it was Effie.

As he entered the office he was instantly hit with the sickly sweet odor of roses, every building was required to filter the scent through the air ducts; it was difficult not to pass out by the strength of the odor. Peeta breathed through his mouth slowly before heading to the back office where he knew she would be. The walls were almost iridescent, light dancing off of the pale painted walls causing streams of color to shine around him.

Even the décor of the Capitol made him miss the districts, the other end of the spectrum with their bright colors and fur lined furniture, everything of excess, where twelve with its coal stained buildings and wood used for carpentry, was simple and natural, because for Peeta the little flaws meant something. When he reached the end of the hallway, he could already see her colorful poof of a hairstyle through the glass, her finger fluttered in the air as she talked to herself in a sing song reverie. The jewels encrusted on her nails shined and reflected the light through the door, as he opened it slowly. Peeta cleared his throat announcing his presence, before she raised her far too white face in his direction.

Her lashes were heavy, curled up towards her brows, a vacant expression held until something registered in her mind, before she gave him a small smile, or at least Peeta assumed it to be, it was always difficult for him to understand the emotional cues of the Capitol citizens. He let his hand rest at the handle, as he stepped fully inside the garish decorated office.

"Oh, Companion Mellark, right on time as usual," she clapped her hands together pleasingly her overly manicured fingers tapping each other," It really is impeccable how respectful you are of the schedule, especially when one takes time to consider your obvious short coming."

Peeta leans his head to the side a brow rising, although he knows fully what she's implying," Short coming?"

"Your breeding of course, most of the district borns are no better than savage animals, with no regard for propriety."

_No they're too busy with not starving to death, while you and your brethren decide which shade to coat your overly surgically morphed bodies in, _he thought to himself.

Although instead he just politely nodded, making his way to one of the overly stuffed velvet chairs located in front of her mahogany desk. He sat down slowly, making sure to keep his posture exact before he crossed his leg over the other.

"May I ask what the reason is for our meeting?"

Effie nodded as she thumbed through a slide on her tablet," Yes, it has come to my attention that you are still without assistance."

"Assistance?"

"A handmaiden."

Peeta shifted in his seat," Yes, that. You see Miss Trinket, as you know I have been unable to procure a lady of standing who would agree to help serve in matters of my work."

"You are asked for more than most of the other companions, well except for Companion Odair, naturally."

"Naturally," Peeta cleared his throat;" Even so, there isn't any interest for a Capitol born lady to accompany a companion of district heritage."

"Companion Mellark the bi-laws clearly state that a companion is to have hand maiden. Now I have let this slide for a bit because of how well you take to your tasks, but this will be dealt with very soon. Rules are rules and they are to be followed, even if you are met with a disadvantage," Effie laid the tablet down looking to him with defeated eyes," At this point I would be willing to allow a district born of real no importance to accompany you."

Peeta tried to wince at her comment about his breeding once more," If that is what it takes, Miss Trinket."

She leaned into her desk, the front of her fuchsia blouse bunching up to stick against her neck," You are a rare find Companion Mellark, to have such poise when you were nothing more than street trash. I now see the presence our dear president admires in you so."

Peeta nods his thanks," Thank you. I'm just proof that even the most flawed can find a place in revered society."

Effie points her long brightly colored nail at him," Let's hope so, Companion Mellark. Let's hope so."

Peeta tipped his head slightly giving her a smile, as she rattled on about rules and expectations when in truth all he wanted to do was scream.

* * *

She can hear the dripping of water before she opens her eyes, as it hits the cold cement of the tunnel splashing up slightly to wet the side of her face. Opening one eye she peers up to where the water has begun to slowly run down the top of the pipe to land beside her, she reaches her hand to the side to catch a stray droplet, letting it collapse in her dirt stained hand. She sat up slowly bringing her hand in front of her face to examine the water closely, she leaned down to sniff quickly, curious if it contained any run off sewer, but it appeared to be safe enough.

Her mouth was dry from dehydration, her lips already cracked, she was at least thankful the summer months hadn't started yet, which made her perspire far too soon for her liking, which caused the salt to seep from her body and soak her already grimy clothing. Keeping her sitting position she scooted backwards, using her palms to brace her body as she stopped beneath the dripping water. A drop landed on the top of her head before she leaned back, opening her dry mouth, her tongue was like sand paper and she could taste the metallic after tastes of blood in her mouth.

The water landed on her tongue and she couldn't help the sound of pleasure escaping her lips, she allowed a few drops to enter her mouth before she swallowed her throat raw and dry. Her muscles were achy, she couldn't decide from the threat of dehydration or from having to sleep on the concrete of the tunnel.

The rumbling from her stomach caused her right hand to reflex rubbing her gut in soothing circles. She hadn't been able to leave the tunnels in a couple of days, to acquire anything to eat, there had been another one of the Capitol's parades going on, and the Peacekeeper force was always greater at those times. She sat up crawling over to the thin canvas bag she kept against the wall, she kept close to the ground not wanting to bump her head on the top of structure which could vibrate and alert someone of her presence.

When she reached the bag she turned it in her hands inspecting it for any tears or bites, she had learned the hard way not to keep her food out in the open since she shared most of her dwellings with rodents and other types of vermin. When she was sure the bag was still intact she reached in to the bottom, her hand searching the almost empty bag. She sighed when her fingers landed on a lone half of an apple she had eaten the day before. She withdrew it from the stained cloth, rolling in her hand.

It had already begun to brown and she brought it to her nose to smell it to decide if it was beyond eating. She tilted her head to the side shrugging as she brought it to her mouth, her yellowed teeth sinking into the fruit, juice coated her tongue and she relaxed slightly. Trying to pace herself she took longer to chew knowing she would have to venture out into the city away from her protective shelter soon. After about thirty minutes of agonizing slow pace, she pushed the last bite into her mouth. Her throat burned from the contact and she could feel her stomach lurch and pop from finally having something to digest.

There were times she had wondered if leaving the orphanage was wise, because even with the isolation and the beatings she had a bit more to eat than she did living underneath the city. But she would soon remind herself that even with more to eat she would have already been dead from physical abuse or driven mad by the lack of human contact. The dark room she was forced to stay in was cold and unfeeling but she did miss the stories which had been scratched into the peeling paint. They had kept her alive, long after the boy who had carved them had abandoned her.

She shook her head trying to push away the memory, even though most of her experiences were hazy as the days went by, she had forgotten what he had sounded like or even how he looked, but she could still remember his gangly arms wrapped around her in embrace and how his breath felt against her dark hair, as he raked his fingers through the strands trying to untangle the mess.

She instinctively went over to the side of the tunnel, frantically hurling her body over to where she slept, her hands going over to the small book. The leather binding had already begun to loosen and the sides were worn and peeling. She turned the book in her hands, her fingers brushing over the golden print scrolled over the cover. She pressed the book to her forehead breathing in deeply before lowering the book again to thumb through its pages.

She turned to the last page where she had written a simple sentence with a piece of stray chalk she had found which had been kicked free of one of the cobble stoned paths. Although she had through the years written different phrases, she read the one she had let her eyes move over for hours. She held the book up to where the light had filtered in through the cracks.

Her voice was hoarse from the misuse," My name is Katniss Everdeen and I'm not crazy. I'm strong not weak, and they can't take my mind unless I allow them to," she swallowed but her mouth came up dry.

She began to repeat the phrase over and over again, until her eyes burned from the lack of water in her body, her nerves pinched and ached as tears tried to form, but couldn't. She was always terrified before she had to venture out, there was always the risk of being caught. And this time she wouldn't be shuttled back to the orphan home, she would be sent to the holding cells, to await execution if she wasn't shot in the head immediately.

She had formed a tremulous relationship with the Peacekeeper force of the Capitol, seeing how often she had to escape from being arrested for scavenging and stealing. She pulled the book to her chest holding onto it firmly, her only lifeline, it gave her strength. It was the only thing that reminded her she was human and that at least one time in her life someone had cared enough about her to share a gift with her. She sighed, as she crawled over to where she kept her dark cloak, her book still clutched in her hand.

The young girl settled on her knees as she spun the fabric around her tying it beneath her jaw, before slipping the hood over her matted hair. Her thick tresses stopped at her shoulders but she assumed they would land at the small of her back if she had ever brushed through the tangled mess. She hadn't had access to enough water to bathe for almost three months, and the dirt and grime had permanently coated her hair and skin.

The hood landed below her eyes as she crawled over to where the tunnel walls were higher allowing her to stand as she reached up sliding the grate to the side allowing her to pull herself up. As soon as she was in the other part of the tunnel system she slipped the book into the pocket of her torn canvas pants. She scooted through the system before she came to an unused store front which would allow her access to the street. She could already hear the sounds of pedestrians as she made her way to where the street vendors were kept. The smell of confections from the café across the street made her dizzy and she had to push herself forward. Her body ached and her emotions were raw as she willed herself to move forward. She continued to run the mantra through her mind.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen and I'm not crazy. I'm strong not weak, and they can't take my mind unless I allow them to._

* * *

The streets were crowded with patrons and vendors, as he made his way through the street market. After his meeting with Effie Trinket, he had decided to take the long way back to the train station, wanting to clear his head before he had to make the long ride back home. With her insipient tone she had given him less than a week to find a suitable candidate for the position of hand maiden.

Peeta bit his tongue holding back the agitation he felt, as he politely reminded her once again how unlikely the possibility was that any lady of standing would agree to leave her life at the Capitol to dwell in one of the outlining districts, especially twelve which was seen as the least desirable district to inhabitant by Capitol borns. She had tapped her nails deftly on the hard wood; her voice became strained when she again reminded him of certain rules and mandates.

Peeta had finally conceded, nodding his thanks for her patience, which truly was a lie but the effort earned him at least a small smile. He had learned that sometimes having someone believe you understood their reasoning was a way to manipulate them as a future ally. And though Effie Trinket's appearance made her look ridiculous, much like everyone in the Capitol, she was not someone to dismiss or take lightly, because behind that airy nasal speech, she was twisted and cunning similar to anyone in the Capitol with power, so therefore even if it was false in his case he needed to have her believe he respected her wants.

The street market was much simpler than the fancy store fronts located in the downtown part of the Capitol. The patrons and sellers were still oddly dressed and most spoke in clipped sentences but the atmosphere was much more laid back, and Peeta felt a bit more comfortable in their presence, however he would rather be in the square of district twelve, where his money could help those he cared about, because even if he wasn't originally from twelve, its citizens made him feel welcomed when he was just a fifteen year old boy about to be sold to the highest bidder.

District twelve was his home, where he could feel almost human, where he could eventually breathe. His footsteps were determined as he wove through the crowds of merchants and consumers, a shrill voice of woman haggling over a bundle of fruit caught him off guard, he glanced over to where she began to shout and noticed the group of Peacekeepers around her.

Peeta assumed she had a disagreement with a customer, as he stopped in his tracks watching the altercation. She waved her arms in the air animatedly as her voice reached a higher octave, and that's when he heard her yell _thief_. Now the armed Peacekeepers made sense to him, she had been robbed, most likely from a hungry district born, because even the poorest of Capitol borns still had enough to eat, never having to resort to stealing to survive.

Peeta sighed as he began to put a distance between himself and the armed security, because although he had been following the rules of legality, he still wasn't favored by some of the veteran Peacekeepers who still remembered him from his days of surviving on the streets.

The cobble stones beneath his dress shoes collided with the steel on the bottom of the shoe padding, clicking sounds echoed as the crowd thinned and he was alone on the street. Peeta could hear shouting from far off, which only made his nerves bunch in his gut, he didn't want to run into the Peacekeepers in such a secluded area, where even his charm may not be enough to help him escape a beating. The grief of having to explain bruises to Effie was enough to make him fear any physical altercation.

He was so caught up in listening for the proximity of the voices; he almost slipped on object directly in front of him. Peeta looked around for a few seconds before he bent down, steadying himself on the balls of his feet, as he peered down, the makings of what appeared to be a battered up book came into view. He reached down running the tips of his fingers over the cover, the golden etchings deep and familiar. He had seen something similar, but he couldn't quite place where. He moved his fingers to the side where the torn ends of the pages tickled the pads of his fingers, closing his hand around it. He began to lift it up as he stood, but suddenly his body was involuntarily pushed back down as the book hit the stone road with force.

Peeta looked up to the other side of the book, slender nimble fingers, which could only belong to a woman, were clutching the top. The nails were chipped and jagged with dirt blackening the cuticle and tip where it should be pink and clear. He moved his eyes up the adjoining arm, to connect to a dainty jaw, then finally eyes which could only belong to a female. A hood from the cloak she was wearing was obstructing most of her face, but deep gray eyes bore through him, and he could feel his body shake from the mere force of her stare.

She jerked her arm back pulling the book with her, as well as Peeta's body but he held firm while still trying not to fall face forward. She grunted loudly as she yanked even harder, angry with him she became unaware of the two Peacekeepers rushing from behind. Peeta broke their stare as he watched the two men approach the girl, his hand still firm on the book. With more force than needed the two armed men took each an arm, raising her from the ground easily, her feet kicked from above ground as she tried to wrench her body from their grasps.

She growled and moaned loudly, as they carried her a few feet away, finally throwing her to the ground, her small frame hit the stones causing an awful sound to echo. The Peacekeeper with dark hair and a wide scratch beneath his eye bent down low enough to hiss at the girl, who was now holding herself up by her elbows.

"Thieving bitch! I'll show you what we do to dirty district borns who attack enforcers of the law!"

He reaches up to her head, pulling the hood down away from her face, revealing high cheek bones and wide gray eyes. Parts of her dark hair, which weren't matted by filth and sweat, fell around her face framing it. Peeta stood up slowly, the book still in his hand, watching her. Her face held an expression of pure defiance, and he could see the fire emanating through her eyes.

The other Peacekeeper who had stood by quietly spoke," I think she may be an Avox, most of the criminals usually already beg for forgiveness by now."

The man with the wounded face bent down squeezing her cheeks, trying to force her jaw open. He peered in her mouth as he began to push her teeth down with his finger. She quickly began to bite down, but he was quicker as he withdrew his finger, her teeth clattered with force. The man waved his finger in the air, thankful she hadn't bitten it off.

"No, she still has her tongue."

The other one shuffled his feet," Maybe she's mute, or she could be mentally incapacitated, she doesn't look very smart."

The girl glared at both men, her nails scraping into the stones with anger. Peeta watched her closely, as she moved her head to peer around the dark haired one's legs. Confusion took her over as she watched him her eyes finally landing on the book in his hands. She sprung up quickly rushing over to him, which caused him to jump back slightly. It took the dark haired man only seconds before he noticed her movements, his boot stepping down firmly on the end of her cloak, the tie around her neck digging into her skin, choking her.

The girl's small frame went hurling to the ground as the fabric held her in place. Peeta's eyes went wide as she began to scream, the sound ripping through him. The Peacekeeper who had caused her body to crash to the unforgiving ground laughed as he pulled her from the ground, his arms wrapped around her waist.

She reached her arms out towards Peeta, her rimmed red," It's mine! It's mine!"

Her voice was raw and guttural from misuse as it took Peeta a back. The Peacekeeper shook her like a rag doll, as she tried to squirm from his grasp.

"So you can talk can you?"

He carried her body over to an abandoned well, that was used for rinsing the street off and some of the vendors would wash their crop before selling it. Peeta walked a few feet closer to watch as the man pushed her to the ground, her knees colliding with the stones as her nails dug into the lip of the well.

"If you can talk, you can scream."

He wrapped his gloved hand around the end of her hair gathering the mess with a steel grip. With a forceful push he submerged her head into the water, her feet kicking the stones. Her body was struggling under his grasp, before he pulled her back up. Peeta could see her swallow before she was pushed back under, he looked behind him for anyone else watching but he was alone with the Peacekeepers and the abused girl.

She was pulled from the water once again, but she looked up to the man as he bent down, spitting the liquid into his face. She smiled with pride before he struck her against the face, her frail body hitting the side of the well. The man who had been watching stepped forward his hand extended to the girl.

"That's enough Thread. We're supposed to arrest her not torture her."

Thread reached down tearing the fabric from her body, the tied string cutting her throat a bit before ripping from her form. The girl began to stand on wobbly legs as she held her hands flat out in the air trying to steady herself. Water dripped down her body as she stood her full length watching the man, as he leered at her, pulling out the revolver from his waist and pointing it to her head.

The other man just shook his head as he turned around not wanting to watch the act, but not stopping it either. Peeta ran up to where they man pointed his gun at the girl as she looked him square in the eye, her body shaking.

Peeta's voice was more hoarse than he would have liked, as he held his free hand up the other still clutching the leather binding," Stop! What are you doing?"

The man who the Peacekeeper called Thread looked over to the younger man, his green eyes narrowed," I'm carrying out a lawful action towards a known criminal."

"With all due respect, it appears to me you're traumatizing a young girl, who is half your size," Peeta motioned to her sharply," And besides she doesn't look very dangerous to me."

"You'd be surprised by her resourcefulness, and with all due respect I think this is none of your business, Mr..-"

Peeta squared his shoulders," Companion Mellark of district twelve."

"Oh, yes I've heard of you," Peeta looked over to the other man watching him closely before he looked back over to Thread who still held a gun to the girl's head," You're the district trash who impressed the president so much he gave you the duty of escorting the overindulged socialites of this town."

"Yes, and I know you are as aware as I am of how much these women love to gossip."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, if you ever want to be ever to pull a certain detail of looking over a wealthy family instead of chasing after street criminals, than you may want to seem as put together as ever, and not someone so unpredictable who would execute defenseless girls at the edge of the street."

"Do you really think anyone would care about her death?"

"Do you think it really matters? Today she's only a district born, but the rumor mill has a way of turning her into an heiress, something so much more entertaining for the gossips to sink their teeth into."

Thread lowers his hand only for a second before raising it again," I-"

"And besides if she comes with me, you won't have to be bothered with arranging a way for her body to be disposed."

Thread looks over to me his brow raised," You want to take her with you?"

Peeta nods but his admission surprises him also," Yes."

Thread begins to laugh as the other Peacekeeper can't stop staring at the young man in the suit. The girl has moved her head slightly towards Peeta as she locks eyes with him. Thread raises his gun up above his head quickly as he shrugs.

"Ok, you can take her only if she goes willingly. If she runs or doesn't move at all, I'm shooting her."

Peeta nods mutely, as Thread pushes the girl towards the center of the street where Peeta waits. Her legs are wobbly, as without the cloak he can see how thin her arms are and how her collarbone juts out from her dark skin. She begins to shake as the water droplets from her hair fall to her lips, her tongue catching the water.

Peeta held out the book to her, before she runs towards him as the gesture registers over her face. She's in front of him in a matter of seconds, pulling the book from his hand as she hunches down to the ground, her face unreadable. Peeta looks over to Thread who is watching intently, as the younger man hunches down in front of her. He reaches his hand out to her, which causes her to flinch slightly before pushing the book into her chest tightly, her hands gripping the leather tightly.

"Come with me."

She doesn't move, or even react to understanding his request," Please, it's alright I won't hurt you," Peeta looks over to Thread who has began to raise his firearm to the back of her head," They will kill you if you don't come with me now. I know you're scared," he sighs as he bends down more to catch her eyes," but you can trust me. Anyone who is brave enough to keep silent when she's being abused and terrorized is strong enough to take my hand," Peeta pushed his hand closer to her," Please just take my hand."

Thread began to laugh again, as he cocked his firearm, ready to pull the trigger. Peeta could hear his heartbeat in his ears, as his legs began to shake. He was too busy watching the barrel of Thread's gun, that he almost didn't feel her tiny fingers wrapping around his larger hand. He sharply turned to her, pulling his fingers closed around hers.

Silently he pulled her from the ground as she hunched over still grasping the book against her body. The other Peacekeeper shook his head, as he turned to walk down the other end of the street, leaving the mess of the last few minutes behind. Peeta walked the girl down the street, hoping that Thread wouldn't decide to shoot her anyway, or even decide to shoot Peeta on pure hatred. When they rounded the corner the girl tore her hand away from him, as she began to walk the opposite way.

Peeta held his hand up," No, wait! If you don't come with me, they will find you. And what I know of Thread he won't be as kind to just shoot you right off, there are worse things than a bullet. But I promise if you come to twelve with me, no one will hurt you," this stops her in her tracks as she turns to watch him," Are you hungry? I have a full menu laid out for me on the train when I'm returning home…always."

She licks her lips at the promise of food, before nodding her head sharply. Peeta holds his hand out to her, as she walked up to him eyeing it cautiously before she takes it slowly. He can feel her tense from his touch, as he leads her to where the train will be waiting. With the girl beside him, he keeps running the reasons through his mind why he had come to her rescue, when he had seen such things so many times before without reacting. _Why was this girl different? And why did he all of a sudden want to protect her?_

* * *

The train ride home had been awkward at best as Peeta had tried to make her feel more comfortable and bridge some sort of communication with the silent girl. Starting a conversation with her as she balled up in one of the velvet chairs was difficult, but he still rattled on about the district and how she would have her own room, or how she was welcomed to eat something. Nothing seemed to take her out of her daze, as she clutched onto the battered book. He shifted nervously in his seat across from her as he crossed his legs repeatedly to only unfold them once again.

Peeta was beyond baffled at how he could command a room full of dignitaries, but was at a loss when dealing with a waif of a girl. She looked out of place surrounded by the extravagant furnishing of the Capitol train, with its crystal chandeliers and rich colored woven rugs, where she wore torn dirt pressed fabric, her face almost difficult to distinguish underneath the filth.

Her eyes would look over to him, an appearance of a caged animal, almost feral, but her gaze would flit away quickly to rest to no place particular. Peeta uncrossed his legs, leaning forward, his hands in his lap, as he spoke.

"I wasn't being half hearted about telling you, you were welcomed to eat," she made no effort to react to his voice, her eyes seemed far off.

Peeta sighed as he ran his hands over his face to travel up to his hair, smoothing back a few stray strands which had landed beside his eye level. He could feel his irritation rise, and he had to remind himself of the trauma she must have gone through to be so disconnected. His hands found their place back to his lap, as he watched her closely.

Dark hair matted to her skull, the ends fraying from where the water had dried, the rest was pushed behind her ears, he could see the sheen of grease and grim which had accumulated there reflecting the light traveling through the windows as the country side passed by them. Her dark skin wasn't much cleaner as dirt streaked her cheeks; a few patches of blemishes were located beneath her lips at her jaw line, from clogged pores and sweat.

Peeta had to admit that her appearance was horrendous but there was no mistaken the beauty of her deep gray eyes which seemed to burn through him. Her body was frail, as it showed signs of starvation and malnutrition, broken and hollow, but her spirit was all fire, something Peeta could clearly see when she rarely made eye contact with him. There was something so familiar about her, but he assumed he had seen her in passing, during one of his regular visits to the city.

"Can I at least know the name of the girl I saved?"

This seems to break her out of her trance as she glared at him, her jaw set. Peeta leaned back slightly, as her face became hard and unwavering, her bright eyes shooting through him. Peeta takes this time, while she caught off guard, if only a bit, to rise from his chair and walk over to where she has tucked herself in the velvet chair.

She watches him closely, but she's surprised when he easily tears the book from her grasp, turning from her to turn through the pages. He thumbs the ends for a second before he turns back around to see her jumping from the chair, one of her over sized boots falls off of her bare foot. She rushes over to him, her small hands pushing against his chest in rage as he lifts the book above his head well out of her reach. She begins to pull at his suit jacket, as she grits her teeth; Peeta can hear a few of the threads beginning to tear as she balls the fabric in her fists.

"So that gets a reaction out of you?"

She stops to narrow her eyes at him before she begins to reach her arms up, clawing at the fabric of his suit. The remaining boot from before has also fallen off, and Peeta has to kick it aside to keep himself from falling as she tears at his clothing desperately trying to retrieve the book. Peeta can see the panic in her eyes, and what started off to be a tactic to get some information was beginning to seem cruel.

"I'll make you deal. You tell me your name and I'll give you the book back. Ok?"

She struggles with him for a few seconds before she stops defeated, her chest rising and falling quickly, as she pants out of breath. Her shoulders hunch over before she looks up to her book, her eyes traveling down the length of his arm to rest at his eyes, as Peeta can physically see the fight drain from her body.

"Katniss."

Peeta nodded as he lowered the book to settle in between them," It's nice to meet you Katniss. I'm Peeta."

Katniss eyed him for a few seconds before she slowly took hold of the book, her fingers tightening around the edge. She clears her throat, before speaking; her voice comes out raw and small.

"Where are we going?"

"To my home in District twelve."

It wasn't long until she sat back into the chair, and curled her feet underneath her, the book pressed back into her chest. Peeta tried once again to start a conversation with her, but she seemed even more detached then before. The next two hours to the district were strained and uncomfortable, as Peeta watched her closely, curious and nervous if whether she would turn into a mood swing, she acted on edge at best, and Peeta knew better than most how desperate someone could be when they were frightened.

He almost missed the moment when she leaned over to the side and closed her eyes, her body instantly easing. He fought the urge to take the book from her hands to curiously flip through the pages; it was beginning to drive him mad not knowing why something as insignificant as a book was worth dying for. He had run the previous hours in his head from when he had found the book lying on the cobble stone road.

Peeta assumed she had dropped it when the Peacekeepers were pursuing her, but why had she risked being caught to double back for an object. His eyes traveled from the book up to her face, he had to admit that she looked almost approachable when she was asleep, but so did most wild animals.

The train arrived in the district, stopping with barely a feel of force as the mode of transportation ceased. Peeta had been in the motions of falling asleep himself, before a nervous Capitol attendant came walking through the sliding doors.

"We've arrived sir," the woman with deep green hair and skin to match nervously glanced over to the sleeping girl in the chair, she cleared her throat as her hand twitched," I suppose I should wake the," she looked over to Peeta choosing her words wisely, as sweat formed above her lip," young lady?"

Peeta shook his head both to symbolize his decision and for the woman's entitlement," No, it's alright I'll wake her."

He rose from the chair as the attendant turned on her heel fighting the need to run for the nearest exit. He could understand her bewilderment over the sleeping girl, her appearance and glares were enough to unease anyone, but to Capitol borns her presence was excuse to have them become unhinged. She wasn't something they could simply wash over; she had a way about her which allowed her to fill a room, where everything reflected her, even when she had become disconnect.

Her dainty nimble fingers tightened around the book as she begins to mumble something in her sleep, her body shaking. Peeta takes a few seconds to prepare himself for any sort of reaction before he bends down, both his hands resting at her shoulders, shaking her gently.

"Katniss," he swallows the name bitterly, as it seemed peculiar to call her by name," Wake up, we're here."

She stirred slightly before trying to turn to her side, this time he shook her with more force," Wake up!"

Peeta jumped back as one of her hands released the book to strike out at him, her eyes were still closed, while Peeta grabbed hold of her small wrist circling his fingers around the bones there. The sudden contact caused her eyes to openly quickly; silence fell between them as she stared at him dumbfounded. Peeta held on tightly as he stood there unaware of how to react, before she attempted to pull her arm free.

Peeta kept his grip as he pulled her from the chair easily, her feet hanging above the ground for only a few seconds. Katniss snarled and glared at him wrenching her arm from his fingers, she fell to the plush carpet of the train with a thud; her legs sprawled around her, the book still secured in her palm. Peeta shook his head, as she began to hyperventilate at his feet, he tried to ebb the annoyance from his voice.

"Is it really necessary to over react?"

Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible;" You attacked me."

"I was only shaking you awake, to tell you we've arrived," Peeta bent down balancing himself on the balls of his feet," And let's be clear. You only fell because you were squirming, and don't be mistaken miss, if I was to attack you, you'd know."

Katniss lowered her head, turning it to the side to break their eye contact. Her nails dug into the fibers of the carpet, as she tried to restrain herself from tackling him to the ground. She had been having another nightmare of being trapped in the tunnels as the walls began to close on her, the boy with the welcoming embrace had pushed her into a dark corner where the mutts ,which were fabled to live in sewers, could tear her limb from limb.

The first bite of her flesh had began when she had felt the sensation of being shaken, but it wasn't until she felt warm fingers close in on her frail wrist that she felt like fighting back. She held back her aggression because even if she wasn't yet prepared trust him or even stay in his company, he had saved her from being a source of amusement for the Peacekeepers. Katniss quelled her instinct to flinch when he held his hand out, palm turned upwards.

"It's time to go to my home, you'll be safe there."

Katniss turned her face towards him; an expression of determination came over him, causing her to be confused once again by the young man in the clean pressed suit who continued to show her kindness. He troubled her; it had been far too long since someone treated her as human and not something to be ignored and ashamed of. Peeta kept his place his hand extended as he watched her deep in thought, before she placed her hand in his.

Gently, he gave her hand a soft squeeze, standing up taking her body to its full height with him. She allowed him to lead her pass the attendants, who wore expressions of disbelief mixed with pity, neither something Peeta felt the need to acknowledge, as he held Katniss' hand while they exited the train. The familiar scent of coal dust and pine lingers in the air as the wind wraps around their bodies.

Peeta feels a tremor go up his arm, which puzzles him because he wasn't aware of being chilly, but it isn't until he feels the sensation again that he realizes it isn't coming from his own body. He lets his eyes travel to their joined hands where hers has begun to tremble, her shoulder are hunched over, as Peeta looks down to her bare feet, her toes digging and flexing into the coal dusted ground.

He scolds himself for being so self absorbed with his disdain for the attendants attitudes that he over looked the fact she hadn't recovered her shoes. He looked back to the entrance of the train debating to go back in, as she pulled her hand free walking forward. Peeta watched her fold her arms around her body, the book lightly hitting the side of her back, as she walked a few feet in front of him. He was still watching her as she turned around, her face curious.

"Aren't we going to your home?"

"Your shoes?"

She shook her head," This isn't the first time I've had to walk bare foot somewhere, and I'd rather not go back into the train with the Capitol staff."

Peeta nods mutely before catching up to her, she looks to him without any verbal communication instead she motions her head to the side, signaling for him to lead forward. He has to continually remind himself not to glance back at her as they make their way into the town square which leads into the merchant quarters.

It's midday and most of the merchants are in the storefronts or attending to duties out front, which only adds to the audience he and the poorly bathed, even for district twelve standards her appearance draws eyes, girl who is inches behind him, her head lowered. Peeta keeps his shoulders back attempting to ignore the gossips already in full force, as the rumor mill turns.

_Peeta Mellark was seen with a young woman who looks to be some kind of street trash. He must have picked her up when he was in Capitol today. Isn't it against a rule for a Companion to take on a lover? Of course but it was once unheard of a district born being a companion, rules don't seem to apply to him._

He had to admit that he had anxieties when it came to how he was perceived, but he was more worried about how Katniss would react to the sudden attention. He sighed before glancing back at her after they had left the fish bowl of the square, passing the justice building. Her feet were caked with mud and coal dust and he felt guilty for not offering his shoes, but he was positive she would have refused. She didn't seem the kind who readily allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to admit when she needed help.

Peeta could hear her from behind him, she must have closed the gap, because now he could feel her breathe at the back of his arm, only slightly, through the fabric of his jacket. She would take in a ragged breathe every few seconds which made Peeta assume she was crying. The thought made his chest tighten which only seemed to add to his confusion when it came to the girl.

When they rounded the corner of the fork in the road which led to his estate, he breathed in a sense of relief. He wasn't sure of how long she was going to follow him, and he didn't have to the energy to chase after her and wrestle her to the ground. He could see the back view of his home, the tree line to their right. Peeta stopped short when he couldn't feel her close proximity anymore, glancing back all he saw was the dirt road they had traveled down.

He frantically turned his body in a full circle until he saw her running towards the woods, the portions of her hair which weren't matted down flew out behind her as she picked up speed, running down the small hill.

Peeta cursed to himself as he unbuttoned the front of his jacket, before running after her. He wasn't sure of why he was in pursuit of her, she formally wasn't in his charge so therefore he had no responsibility to her, the bit he did had been expunged when he had taken her from the Peacekeepers, alas here he was running through the mud and weeds attempting to catch up with a hollow young girl.

He nearly ran into her as she had stopped short starring into the woods, her eyes wide. Peeta bent down resting his hands on his knees as he panted for breath.

"What was your plan to run into the woods? Located in a place you've never been before, you don't know the district, you have no idea what lurks in there-"

Her voice was airy and in awe which only caught him off guard," It's real."

Peeta stood up his brow puzzled," What?"

A smile broke out on her face, as a few tears rushed over her dark face," The forest," she turned to Peeta her eyes wide, lines surrounding her brow deepened as she smile even more," I always thought it was in my head like everything else, just something in my book," Peeta looked down to her hand as she dug her nails into the leather spine," But it's real! I'm not crazy."

Peeta watched her as she looked back to the trees," You're not crazy."

She turned to him quickly her eyes bright, and he felt for the first time they were finally seeing each other, a plausible connection was happening. Peeta wasn't seeing the rash, feral girl from the streets, but the young woman who was somehow trapped beneath all of the layers of pain and survival. They stood there for a few more minutes watching the other, before Peeta broke the contact turning to his side, motioning up the hill.

"We should make our way up to my home. So we can get you settled in," she looked troubled looking back to the wooded area," It's not going anywhere, I promise. The woods will still be here in the morning, but you do need to rest."

Katniss hesitated before turning around, beginning to trudge back up the hill, her feet covered in mud and cuts from the rocks on the ground. She glanced back at the woods and then at Peeta who was now at her side, his left hand hovering over the small of her back as he directed her towards the back of the two story home.

Having him so close was frightening for her, human contact was something she had been without for years, but with him it was so much more, it was as if she could feel the static in the air. She mentally shook herself for thinking of him in any scenario, to think of him more than her way to escape the Capitol was dangerous, and she had become accustomed to surviving.

Her breathe caught in her throat when she took in the sight before her, it was true the structure was nothing like the ones in the Capitol, but that's exactly what drew her to it. A simple country house painted eggshell white with pillars on each side of the stairs stood the length of the porch up to the awning above, a garden surrounded it with a plethora of color, deep and beautiful. She had assumed with Peeta being a companion, that his home would be grandiose because after all even if he was residing in district twelve he was still a product of the Capitol and people of the Capitol never recognized true beauty.

The walk up to the house was tense and strange, her feet ached, but the emptiness in her stomach was daunting and she felt near fainting. It had been torture for her during the train ride, the array of deserts, all sugary confections, and glazed meats had tormented her, she supposed she could have given in, he had tried to coax her to the food more than once, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting through to her.

She had been pleased with the distance she had forged between them, but then she had seen the forest, something she was convinced was fiction, but there it was within her grasp, and all of her defenses began to ebb. She had actually smiled at him and she wanted to slap herself for being so vulnerable around this man, but it was more than just a curve of her lips which upset her more, it was how he had looked at her, as if something for a split second had changed.

Peeta stepped around her as he made his way up a few steps before reaching out to her, his hand waiting for her to reciprocate; she stared at it for a few seconds before walking up the stairs, passing him, his forgotten gesture hanging in the air. She could hear him clear his throat, trying to mask his hurt or annoyance at her blatant refusal for his kindness; she wasn't going to make it easy on him.

Katniss was in deep thought over Peeta's reaction that she barely missed being hit by the opening of the back door. She jumped back furiously, her body shaking at the abrupt movement, Peeta's strong hands held on by the sides of her arms attempting to steady her, as she stood in front of him. He must have cleared the rest of the stairs as she reached the door.

The heat from his body was making her dizzy and she furrowed her brow at the reaction he in sighted from her. The way he continually attempted and succeeded at protecting her, infuriated her immensely.

Peeta could feel her tense, her muscles flexing against his hands, he was so caught up in the closeness of her he almost forgot about the woman at the door.

Her back was to him, as she fiddled with the top hinge of the back door. The canvas bag she slung around her shoulder was swaying to the side as she shook the door, trying unstuck the coils.

"Peeta I left a plate for you in the oven, I assumed you would be back sooner, but I understand how god awful that Effie woman can be," her back was to the two standing on the porch," Also I think we should wake Haymitch out of his drunk stupor to fix the confounding door, I mean you are paying him for something. Aren't you?"

She turned around sharply, her full length skirt wrapping around her ankles before spreading out once again. The older woman nearly fell back when she noticed the girl in front of her, Peeta's hands were still at her arms. Peeta attempted to sound casual, but he wasn't surprised when his voice came out tense.

"Hazelle, this is Katniss. She'll be staying with me for a while."

The dark haired woman looked to the other looking her over before raising a brow to the man behind her. Peeta mouthed _later _to her, Hazelle's eyes questioning him. She quickly recovered, a smile gracing her pleasant face, her green eyes soft.

Peeta could feel Katniss pulling from him, before he released his grasp on her, she glanced back at him, before turning back to Hazelle. The older woman stepped forward to the girl, she kept her movements slow and deliberate, as she moved one of her hands to lightly touch the girl at the arm.

"Let's get you cleaned up dear, it must have been a very tiring trip for you."

Katniss nodded mutely as she allowed Hazelle to lead her into the house, Hazelle glanced back at Peeta a look of concern on her face. He simply waved her on, indicating he would explain everything in due time. The back door creaked as Hazelle held it open for Katniss, giving her enough room to walk through. Katniss looked back to him one last time before the door shut separating their contact, leaving Peeta on the porch alone.

He felt empty and almost numb having her leave his side, which only confused him, this girl was nothing more to him than a lost soul who he had saved from execution. She was nothing of consequence to him, but if that was true, he reasoned than why did he feel so drawn to her?

* * *

Katniss sat in the wooden chair, her legs shaking as the woman behind her attempted to comb through years of neglect. The cotton of the robe, felt foreign on her newly washed skin, her fingers tangling the fabric around them. Katniss looked up at her reflection; it was odd for her to see herself fresh faced without any dirt or sweat marring her face. It was as if she was seeing someone new, a girl she hadn't seen before.

Hazelle had been patient with her, at first with how she had reluctantly wanted to undress, it taking almost ten minutes for her to unfasten her tattered pants and then how puzzled she had been to all of the different soaps and perfumes set up around the lip of the tub. When after much effort on Hazelle's part to reassure her that yes soap was used for your hair, it had taken even longer for Katniss to trust her enough to allow her to brush through her matted head of hair.

The girl had jumped back in fear at the sight of the brush, she barely remembered one from when she was younger, something her mother would use to glide through her dark strands. Hazelle with much grace and patience gently touched her bare arm with the bristles, showing her how gentle they could be, that the object was no threat to her. Katniss had watched her for a few minutes before agreeing to sit down in front of the vanity.

Hazelle's tired hands weaved through the girl's hair, attempting to untangle the mess of knots, her eyes glancing to the reflection in the mirror, the girl had closed her eyes her breathing steady and strangely calm.

Hazelle cleared her throat, her hands still working through Katniss' hair," I'm sure your mother brushed your hair often, by how relax you seem."

Katniss' voice was raw with exhaustion," I don't know. I can't remember much."

Hazelle lowered her eyes," Oh."

Katniss watched the woman closely; the kindness in her eyes set the girl at ease. Her eyes drifted to the crown of the woman's head where a weaving of brown hair was braided around the back of her head and then joined at the top.

"I like how your hair is done."

Hazelle was taken aback by the girl's voice, her hand absentmindedly going to her braid," Thank you," she ran her fingers through the girl's dark hair, most of the tangles undone, but not entirely," I can braid yours for bed if you like?"

Katniss shook her head," No."

Hazelle nodded as she leaned over to place the brush on the vanity, before she turned around walking to the bed picking up a stack of clothing. Katniss watched her from the mirror, as she walked back stopping beside her.

"I'm afraid there wasn't anything resembling a nightgown, but I did find a pajama top and a pair of shorts in Peeta's clothing you can use until we're able to find you something more suitable."

She laid the clothing in the girl's lap, Katniss's fingers left the robe, folding them around the edges of the clothes and lifting the material to her face, breathing in the clean scent of lemons. The clean laundry was exhilarating and Katniss had missed how something as simple as clean clothes made you feel whole and safe. She could feel a few tears welling up, as she lowered the clothing down to her lap. Hazelle watched her before she gave Katniss a quick smile.

"Well, dear I need to go but I will be back tomorrow."

Katniss looked up to her reflection mutely, as Hazelle turned to leave. The older woman was inches from the door knob, when she heard the girl speak.

"Thank you."

She turned and nodded," Of course."

* * *

Peeta had been pacing the first floor for about an hour before he decided to ascend the stairs, worried at how long it had been taking, surely it wasn't such an ordeal to get one girl cleaned and dressed. When he came to the landing he looked to both sides of the hallway directly connected to the staircase. The partially opened door of one of the guest rooms caught his eye, motivating him to walk to the right.

He assumed Hazelle was still coaxing the girl to at least brush her hair, or in the least sit in one room long enough before she decided to leave. He could hear the old floor boards creak before he reached the door, his hand at the inside of the door. Peering into the room, he assumed to find Hazelle, but instead he was met with the sight of the bare back of olive skin, marked with deep white scars, the difference in complexion easy to spot.

Her dark hair now wet and for the most part untangled, caught in the collar as the silk of the nightshirt slid down her body, her arms rose above her head. She had thankfully already covered her lower half with a pair of shorts, because Peeta already felt like a letch for being so enthralled in the sight of her skin. The material slid down her back to land beneath the hem of the shorts, her legs skinny but there was still enough tone left to show off some defined muscle.

Peeta's breathe caught in his throat as he watched her, his feet shifting, causing the boards to creak beneath him. Katniss turned sharply to the door, as Peeta ducked, jumping to the nearest side of the wall trying to conceal himself and his embarrassment.

He lowered his head in part shame and confusion, his hands worked through his hair, before he looked up to be staring in the green eyes of the woman he had come to know as a mother. She stood there silently, watching him closely. Peeta pulled at the collar of his simple gray shirt, he had changed out of his Capitol attire when Hazelle had been attending to Katniss. She was still studying him, when she spoke softly.

"Well it is nice to see you at least looking like yourself again."

Peeta pushed himself off of the wall," What's that supposed to mean?"

Hazelle held her hands palm's up," Why is she here, Peeta?"

"She needed help; a Peacekeeper was ready to execute her on the street. I couldn't just stand by and watch."

"Why not? You've seen how they are there. You've told me personally about stories, where you witnessed someone being killed for no reason other than they were district born, and trying to survive. So why is she any different than anyone else?"

Peeta threw his hands up, as he walked to the stairs," I don't have to justify my actions with you!"

She sighed turning to follow him," I'm not questioning your capacity for kindness. I just want to know where your head is."

Peeta wrapped his hands around each side of the banister, lowering his head," I couldn't let them hurt her. I think I saw something in her I've forgotten in myself."

Hazelle closed the gap laying a hand on his shoulder," What's that?"

"I don't know…maybe pride."

Hazelle took in a slow breath," Well just be careful, she's clearly traumatized and not just by what happened today, poor thing can barely share the room with another person without wanting to jump out of her skin."

Peeta nodded as Hazelle rounded him, her hand patting his arm, as he lifted his right arm free to let her pass.

"Rory and Vick will be waiting for me, but I'll be back in the morning as usual. Oh I gave the girl one of the spare rooms, and I managed to get her to eat a few cheese buns, poor thing almost choked from inhaling the bread so fast."

Peeta looked over," I couldn't get her to eat anything. How did you manage it? Did you use the mother tone?"

Hazelle stopped mid step to turn back to him," Perhaps I spoke to her as any human being should to another. She's not a small child Peeta or a wounded animal."

"I spoke to her as I would anyone," Peeta turned to the woman in front of him, a slight smirk on her face," And to be honest it's not easy to carry on a conversation with someone who refuses to do so."

"You're thinking like one of them."

"Well maybe I am…one of them?"

"Oh, Peeta if that were true you wouldn't have that young lady staying a few feet from where you're standing," she turned back to the down casting of stairs, her right pointer fingers waving in the air as she descended the stairs," There might just be hope for you yet."

Peeta shut his eyes closed as he tilted his head back breathing in deep. Hazelle had a way of making him think in ways he wouldn't necessarily relate to at first. He could hear the back door closing loudly as it rebounded from the frame to rest there eventually. Peeta stepped down the stairs locking up the bottom half of the house and turning off lights before he made his way back upstairs to where his room was located. He momentarily debated on seeing if the girl needed any assistance but he ruled against it.

He needed distance from her, having her so close to him was suffocating which only confused him more. Having a woman close to him was something he had known on a regular basis, it wasn't something out of the ordinary, so why was it that one woman who refused to speak to him or interact at all was able to illicit such reactions from him?

Peeta walked down the hallway to the large double doors of his room, reaching them he pushed them open. When he was fully into the room, he closed the doors behind him, his back still to them. Peeta pressed his body into the wood, exhaling softly before he began to unbutton his shirt, proceeding to get ready for bed.

He had tried to run the reasons through his head as to why he had intervened, it was true that he had seen such things in the Capitol on a regular basis, some were worse than what had been done to Katniss. So why was it that this one girl, her pain, had made him want to act? Perhaps she seemed just as lost as he felt? Perhaps in those small seconds of her defiance he saw a spark in her that he wished he possessed?

She had more courage than he could dream of, and he envied her that, and in a place deep down inside, he hated her for being stronger than he was. Because long ago he had been tested as she was, and he had given in.

* * *

**AN: This is actually my second Hunger Games fanfiction to write, the previous one is quite long and waiting to be Beta'd. But I wanted to share this story. Let me know if there's any interest in continuing, and like always Reviews are Love.**

_-Stace_


	2. Chapter 2

_I want to thank my incredible Beta cookie-monster-kiki, for helping to make this story even better._

Chapter Two

Even after years of being free of having to spend his nights in the orphanage or on the streets of the Capitol, Peeta still found himself as a light sleeper, the fear of having to defend an onslaught of abuse was always a constant.

When he had first moved into his home located in twelve he had been fifteen, newly plucked out of poverty and sent to a district he was never aware existed.

The extent of his knowledge had grown. It didn't in any way change the fact that he was still a frightened child who had to struggle to survive; only now the means to go by it were less honest than stealing.

His nightmares never ceased, the content only changed; their presence in his sub-conscience one of the only constants in his life.

He had first awakened earlier in the night from one of his night terrors, the vivid sensation of roaming hands made his heart drop, his throat becoming dry and restricted. The small sheen of sweat on his forehead rolled from his face onto his pillow, causing him to roll over to his other side as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

Peeta kept his eyes closed as he concentrated on trying to fall back asleep, which to his dismay was fleeting and out of his reach. When he heard the squeaking of the boards beside his bed it alerted him to someone else in the room.

With his eyes still closed he groaned, his annoyance taking over his need to rest. Peeta assumed Haymitch had been sleep walking again, something he did on a regular basis especially after a night of heavy drinking.

Peeta allowed the older man to reside in one of the servant housings, which remained on the property from when it was used for dignitaries who spent their holidays in the district before it had become run down.

This time of the season was always worse for the man, a time of the year where the memory of his wife Maysilee haunted him more than usual. Peeta would find him passed out on the middle of the floor, his body in the fetal position.

In most cases it was best to allow him to sleep it off, but the stress of the previous day and the one soon to come was beginning to wear on him.

His patience was fleeting and he wasn't in the mood to humor an exhausting albeit harmless drunk.

He sighed before opening eyes, his shoulders tensing in case Haymitch was to become agitated, which sometimes he did if the spirits were especially strong.

The thick darkness of the room clouded his vision as he attempted to make out the form a few feet from the side of his bed. It took a few seconds for the shape to come into focus; his eyes were weighed down and heavy from barely being able to sustain a couple hours of rest.

It didn't take long for him to realize that the outline wasn't Haymitch's usually hunched over shoulders forming into a wide chest. Instead the form was petite with delicate lines which could only belong to a woman. Instinctively, Peeta reached for the top of the nightstand where a familiar item sat.

Her voice was quiet but it still cut through the silence of the room, "It isn't there anymore."

Peeta closed his eyes; his brow creasing as he mentally scolded himself for being so careless.

He cleared his throat as he inched his fingers over to the bedside lamp, pressing the silver button," Well, then where is it?"

The sudden assault of the artificial light caused his eyes to strain before his vision adjusted. His hand remained by the lamp, his body midway on the night stand, while the rest of his side remained on the mattress.

Her hair was tangled and wild from sleep. Half of the dark mess had fallen over the left side of her face but a few strands had parted where her eyes were allowing the deep gray color of her iris's to show through.

The silk nightshirt of his was wrinkled, as half of it was tucked into the waist line of the cloth shorts. Peeta moved his eyes down the rest of her body, finally stopping at her feet.

Her toes were caked with mud, and even in the dimly lit room he could see the sheen of dew at her ankles. He assumed she had been outside. Most likely she had attempted to leave, but with the thick darkness and her minimal knowledge of the area, she had ultimately decided against it.

However when Peeta's eyes travelled to her right hand, he questioned whether escaping was her actual intention. The blade in her hand reflected the light and he had to stop himself from advancing on her.

He had to remind himself of the aggression she had shown towards the Peacekeepers, because even if he could over power her, he wouldn't make the mistake of underestimating the traumatized girl.

Peeta kept his movements slow and deliberate as he watched her closely, studying her face. With a pace that made him ache, Peeta turned his body to rest on his back before he pulled himself up with the blanket, his back against the headboard.

Katniss' eyes darted around frantically reminding Peeta of a frightened animal. He was certain if he couldn't keep his calm that the situation could become dire very quickly.

Katniss' body began to shake as the cool boards of the room mingled with the dampness of her feet. She curled her toes into the floor boards as her legs began to pimple with goose bumps.

It was difficult for her to keep her body still from the shaking, the handle of the blade rubbing against her palm as her grip loosened.

She felt small and insignificant under his gaze and she wasn't sure if the tremors were actually from the temperature or something else entirely.

Peeta swung his legs over the edge slowly, careful not to tangle himself in the bedding and most importantly not to startle the armed girl standing only a few feet in front of him.

Peeta straightened his back as he curled his fingers over the edge of the mattress. Her shaking started to increase causing the blade to gently knock against her bare leg. Peeta could see the situation escalating if he didn't attempt to deflate the tension.

Therefore, he did the one thing he was gifted with: he attempted to distract her until he was able to gain opposition.

"I'm no threat to you. There's no need for that."

"I didn't go through all the pain of surviving to become one of those girls."

"What?"

Katniss stepped forward, the blade waving in the air between them," Men would come to the orphanage looking for girls promising them a life but they lied. They would send them back and something was different," Peeta could see the tears welling up in her eyes, the gray setting afire," I won't let you do that to me. I'll die first."

Peeta tried to calm his voice and was surprised by the slight crack," Katniss that isn't why I brought you here."

Her shaking became wild as the blade followed her motions," I saw you watching me dress."

Peeta hoped she couldn't see the flush riding up his throat from his chest as his skin heated up from embarrassment.

"That was by accident. I would never intentionally force myself onto someone."

She jumped forward as Peeta jumped back out of reflex, his back bent slightly to avoid the point of the blade.

"I saw you!"

Agitation began to set in and it soon took precedence over his fear," Do you really think if that's what I wanted I would have chosen you?" He could feel his chest tighten when her eyes fell partially before locking eyes with him," And even if I had, why would I have taken the time to take you here? When all I could have done was just raped you in the alleyway, it's not like anyone would have cared. You're just street trash. Isn't that what you think of yourself?"

"I—"

Her face fell as the blade along with her arm began to lower. Peeta could see her defenses fall giving him the opportunity to take the dominant foothold in the situation.

In a swift movement he sprung forward, his right hand reaching for her wrist before curling his fingers around her petite structure. Peeta bent her wrist back so that the blade was farthest away from him. Katniss didn't have enough time to react before he pulled her forward flipping her body over to the mattress.

She hit the bed, the air escaping her lungs, her eyes shut tight. She could feel the weight of his body on hers before she opened her eyes. His chest pressed into hers causing the pressure to intensify as her breasts heaved, her breathing becoming quick and sporadic.

She opened her eyes slowly with her grip tightening on the blade as he still held onto her wrist. Katniss looked into his face, his stormy blue eyes were only inches from hers, the tip of his nose touched hers, and his warm breath lingered on her face.

She attempted to kick her legs out trying to free herself but the weight of his body didn't allow any room of movement. She was trapped.

Peeta's left hand held her shoulder down as he leaned in against her. She writhed underneath him, her knees connecting with his pelvis. Peeta gritted his teeth in pain before pushing the hand containing the blade farther into the mattress.

Katniss turned her head to each side, her dark hair striking him in the face as it tangled in both their mouths.

"Let me go!"

"Not until you listen!"

Katniss stopped struggling as she settled her face back up towards his. Peeta released her shoulder to brush her hair to the side; his fingers gently pulled the strands from her face.

Katniss was stunned by how gentle he was being with her. His eyes softened for a few seconds before shifting back to his previous expression.

"What was the plan, to stab me in my sleep?"

"You're the one who sleeps with a knife beside your bed."

"So you just came to where I normally would be asleep and decided to pick the blade up?" He searched her face, her gray eyes threatening to swallow him whole."What are you Katniss, a murderer?"

She could feel her pulse racing," I—"

Peeta shook his head, the ends of his bangs tickling the sides of her face," No, you're not. If you were, you wouldn't have waited for me to wake up. You're just a scared kid who doesn't understand how one choice can change everything you are."

"I understand enough."

"You can be more than someone just trying to survive. I can help you achieve a place in this world."

"How, I'm just street trash remember?"

"I think we both know you're more than that."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

Peeta searched her face, his eyes landing on her lips," You don't. But that's what trust is, believing in something."

"So you expect me to believe in someone who has me pinned to his bed?"

"Yes, and remember I'm not the one armed right now."

Peeta sighed before wrenching the blade from her grasp to toss it back to the night stand. He then pulled her up into a sitting position, his legs still straddling hers.

Peeta backed up, placing his feet onto the floor boards. Katniss was defenseless under his strength as he dragged her from the bed easily.

Her feet hit the floor with a thud stubbing one of her toes in the process. Peeta pulled her behind him as he pushed her through the door, her body not stopping until her hands fell flat against the nearest wall of the hallway.

Katniss turned around to face him terrified that he may have decided to punish her for her aggression. They both stood there for the longest time watching the other until Peeta let out a deep breath, his eyes looking defeated.

"Get some rest Katniss, and don't attempt to enter my room again or you and I will be having an entirely different talk."

Katniss watched as he slammed his bedroom doors shut, the sound of a lock clicking echoed around her. She leaned her head against the wall before sliding down into a seated position.

She hadn't initially gone into his room to harm him; she had watched him for the longest time before he had woken up.

He confused her, even intrigued her, and she supposed that more than anything, that is what made her turn back from her escape. Katniss closed her eyes. Everything was overwhelming. The way he watched her sometimes, the way his eyes would soften, how warm his body felt on hers.

She had wanted to pull him close but realized how unusual such an act would have been after holding a blade to him. Then again, Katniss had become accustomed to the bizarre. It was what she felt comfortable in.

Inside the room, Peeta let his hand linger at the lock before he slid his body down the length of the doors. His bottom hit the floor softly before he drew his knees to his body.

He could feel his anxiety rise, his breath quickening much like it did when he was younger after his visits to the Capitol.

He hadn't had an attack for years, and in one day with this one girl, everything was turning on its side. He had tried to ignore the tingling sensation traveling up his body by having her so close.

She made everything cloudy and he was desperate not to lose himself in her.

However it wasn't his well being he was afraid for, it was hers. Peeta was only half a man, an incomplete person, and he knew from the moment he had seen her that she deserved better.

* * *

He had awoken with both of his arms haphazardly spread to each side as his legs pushed against the locked doors of his bedroom, his face turned to the side.

Peeta laid there for a few minutes before he planted his hands to the floor boards, a deep groan escaping his lips.

He assumed he must have collapsed on the floor after falling asleep against the doors. His legs were unsteady as he wobbled from side to side for a bit, his hand going to his cheek where deep indentations from the floor were now imprinted there.

When he had righted his footing, he drew his hands through his blonde hair, his fingers catching on a few tangles.

Peeta turned to the door, contemplating if leaving the safety of his room was wise. He had no idea if their altercation had ceased her anger or had merely thrown fuel on the fire so to speak.

He eventually decided against hiding out in his room from the petite girl, reaching for the doors and unlatching the lock.

He drew the doors back half expecting her to be in the hallway ready to lash out at him again. However the empty hallway made his chest tighten for a second before he made his way down to the room she had been given.

He was annoyed at how anxious he was to see her again. He had to keep reminding himself that he was excited to see a girl who had attempted to assault him the night before.

The walk to the room was shorter than he would have liked. His hand lingered at the open door before he pushed it open. Peeta walked through and noticed the bed hadn't been slept in, the quilted bedding still turned down from when Hazelle had done so the night before.

He walked to the center of the room and circled around before concluding that she must be in another part of the house. Then again, most likely she had left altogether.

He was nearly to the door when he noticed something lying on the nightstand. The worn edges of the leather binding peeled away from the spine, the color darker on the inside.

His footsteps were heavy as he traveled over to the far side of the room, stopping next to the nightstand.

He ran his fingers over the cover. The battered book was worn with tears and yellowing on the edges of the pages.

He looked around for the girl positive she wouldn't have left without the book. This was something she had been willing to risk her life for, she wouldn't leave it.

Peeta contemplated going to search for her but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. He reached for the object and picked it up.

It was small and felt fragile in his hands. He turned it around in his palm before righting it.

With a careful touch he pulled the cover open before flipping through the pages. It seemed to be a children's story, illustrations of forests and fairies were filled through its pages.

There was also scribbling, the handwriting appearing to be done by a child's hand. The worn binding fell open to the middle of the book on which a fairy sat idle on the page.

Peeta felt his stomach drop and for a time everything went bright as nausea settled at his throat.

The memory of being in a cold room with a girl with gray eyes while he scratched the scene into the wall of chipped paint rushed through his mind.

"_Here even if they take the book from you, you can still have the fairies surround you."_

Peeta felt so foolish for not recognizing her or the book before, although it had been years before and his years of trauma had blocked out most of his early memories.

He felt ashamed for leaving her, and even though he had now found her, it didn't lessen his depth of humiliation. Because he hadn't been strong enough to stay with her, to protect her, she had suffered. Peeta closed the book and set it back down, his fingers lingering at the spine.

It had been almost three weeks since he had snuck back into the orphanage to see her.

He had stolen the book from one of the booksellers. He had wanted something to occupy his time while he hid out on one of the rooftops.

He had enjoyed the stories about magic and love; it made him think of the young girl with the gray eyes.

He had begun to sneak into the room. At first she had clung to the wall watching him as Peeta would just rattle off stories he made up, scratching them into the wall.

She would glide her tiny fingers over the markings while considering him. Eventually he knew he had won her trust when she crawled over to him one night to bring his arm over her shoulder.

He had tensed at first, surprised by her, but it wasn't long until he tightened his arm around her.

He spoke into her hair until she fell asleep. It was then that Peeta Mellark, at age thirteen, fell in love with the girl with no name.

When he had given her the book she looked at it with curiosity, studying it in his hands before slowly taking it into her own.

Peeta was caught off guard when she leaned up to him on her bare toes and gently touched her lips to his in a soft chaste kiss. She then lowered herself to her feet, taking him into a hug.

He had slowly wrapped his gangly arms around her thin waist. She had let go before him and sat down thumbing through the pages.

He had sat down beside her, eventually taking the book to act out all of the parts with funny voices that made her giggle, causing her freckled nose to wrinkle.

Peeta placed the book on the stand pushing the memories aside. He could feel himself begin to panic.

He breathed in deep willing himself to settle down and when he was sure he had his bearings, Peeta knelt down looking under the bed. It came up empty other then the few boxes of quilts that Hazelle had stored there years before.

Peeta stood up walking toward the door when he had the thought to search the closet. It was small and he doubted that she would choose to go there but he didn't see the harm in looking.

When he reached the doors, he pushed them apart to find a dark head of hair fanned above her.

She was laying on her side, her hands and knees pushed into her stomach.

Her face was flushed and he could see the tear tracks there, her feet still muddy. He wondered if she had gone outside again before coming into the closet.

She looked almost peaceful with her body wrapped within itself. He wanted to reach out and trace the lines of her cheekbones; the shock of finding her after all these years surreal.

He wanted to wake her up and tell her who he really was, the boy who had taken care of her, who had fallen in love with her before he even knew what love was. But he was also the boy who had left her, who abandoned her because of his own weakness.

Peeta backed up closing the doors, his hands holding on far longer than need be. He knew it wasn't fair to her to bring the matter up.

She needed the opportunity to leave her past behind and he wouldn't be the reason which caused her to relive it.

However, when he walked out of the room he contemplated if he was simply protecting her or if his reason for not telling her was that he was too much of a coward to face the past himself.

* * *

The walls felt as though they would close around him, forever suffocating him. He had assumed finding her after all these years would make him feel joy but instead, all he felt was panic and dread.

He wasn't the boy he had been when they would protect each other from the darkness.

He had lost that sense of self and without her, Peeta had been swallowed whole by the monsters in the shadows.

Having her in the house was now torture because all he could focus on was the question of whether her lips were still soft and if they were the perfect ratio to his as they had been when they were younger.

He leaned forward gently knocking his head against the dark blue painted walls of the dining room. He needed to understand that giving into his feelings or his curiosity was something he didn't have the luxury to explore.

He had made his decisions a long time ago and he had to come to terms with the fact he would never be able to give into wants no matter how much he desired to do so.

Peeta stepped back from the wall, his hands out behind him. The edge of the cherry stained dinning table met his fingers and he curled his fingers over the lip of the wood, his nails scraping the underside.

It took him a moment before he realized the steady breathing in the room didn't belong to him, his back straightened and his nails dug deep into the wood.

He slowly turned around as he willed himself to stay calm, careful not to alert her to a shift in their relationship.

Peeta mentally scolded himself for assuming they had ever had anything that classified as a relationship, especially due to the fact what he needed to be practicing was emotional distance.

His hands shifted as he settled in, using the table as a brace. Instantly his eyes connected with hers, the gray burning into him, causing his stomach to drop.

Her hair was disheveled and a few of the top buttons on the night shirt had come undone revealing the slightest bit of cleavage.

Deep olive skin stretched over her clavicle only to stop at the smallest hint of the top curve of her breast. With his height, he was able to see over the table to her feet which were still dark with mud.

Katniss was nervous under his gaze and assumed he was trying to hide his disappointment over her appearance.

She reached up and attempted to smooth her hair down, the tips of her fingers moving the strands behind her ears. She couldn't help but notice the difference in his attire, a contrast to how she had first seen him in his dark suit.

His hair now fell free, ashen blonde bangs laid against his cheek bones instead of being brushed back. And the cotton button up he wore in a light blue color made his eyes noticeable. He almost seemed human to her, organic and real.

Peeta watched her study him, he could feel his anxiety rise as he panicked that she had pieced something together.

Katniss shuffled her feet, the boards of the floor making her feet tingle. She lowered her head, her voice catching in her throat.

She could feel her body shaking again, partly from being ashamed of her actions from before and partly from having him watch her so closely.

Taking one last deep breath, Katniss looked back up to him," I want to have a place in this world." His gaze was cutting through her as she looked away flittingly before looking back to him," I don't want to be invisible anymore."

Peeta nodded. He closed his eyes briefly as he needed a short break from the intense connection that was beginning to form.

"I'm in need of a hand maiden."

Katniss let out a small scoff," No. I've seen those women, ladies of standing who trail behind companions with their propriety and grace when in reality they allow themselves to be auctioned off to men of wealth who use them as breeding partners and silent trophies. It would just be another way to not be seen," Katniss down casted her eyes," I can't go back to that."

Peeta sighed, releasing the table to walk around the corner to stand at her side. With every step towards her he could feel his pulse race, his shoulders tensed and he hoped his voice was calm.

"It wouldn't be like that."

"How can you be so sure?"

Peeta flexed his fingers before reaching out gently to touch her elbow, bringing her attention to him.

"Because I wouldn't let that happen." Katniss tensed under his touch causing Peeta to pull back." You're safe here."

Katniss looked up to him at her side," Even if I wanted to. Even if I agreed, there's no way I would be permitted. I'm a district born not to mention an orphan. To those bred in the Capitol I'm the lowest of the low."

"I'm a district born and I was permitted to be a companion."

"Yes, but you're special."

Peeta was thrown by how soft her voice had come out. He returned the sentiment," So are you."

Katniss blushed," I'm not sure that I could ever fit into that world."

Peeta was lost in the softness of her face, how disarmed she was with him," I can teach you all of those things."

"Alright."

"But there have to be rules," Peeta waited for her to speak but she merely watched him," You have to be patient and trust everything I tell and teach you as it is for your own good. You can't decide to just run off. I need you to believe me when I tell you that you're safe which goes to show that trying to attack me with my own knife is definitely not something that will happen again."

Katniss' eyes drifted to his chest as she bit her bottom lip," Alright." She looked up to him, her eyes hard," But know this; I'm not going to lose myself. I won't become something that they want me to be."

"Sometimes you do."

Katniss looked up to him her brow creased," It depends on how much you sacrifice."

Peeta's lips formed into a slight sad smile," I wish that were true."

They both stood there watching the other, neither one speaking; only sounds of their breathing filled the room.

Peeta wanted to reach out to her again, caress her face and tell her how she was so much more than what the Capitol had turned her into. He could see the strength in her to the point he found himself envious of her.

Katniss could feel the flush rising up her face, her body warming underneath his looks. She curled her toes as he broke their connection to move his eyes up and down her body.

The air between them was beginning to thin and Katniss couldn't help but squirm. Peeta lifted his head watching her for a few more seconds before speaking.

"We have a lot of work to do and in the state your appearance is in, it'll be a miracle if it didn't take days to correct," Katniss moved her head to side cursing the tears threatening to fill her eyes," I'm going to go contact the stylist who helps me, hopefully he has some free time."

Peeta turned on his heel as Katniss gritted her teeth trying to push her anger down.

When his back was turned he closed his eyes. He was ashamed of his words but knew he had to maintain this relationship as a business venture and nothing else.

He made his way to his study where the lone telephone was kept. Speaking over his shoulder, he kept his voice cold and clipped.

"Eat something. I don't want you fainting from hunger during waxing and wasting everyone's time."

He didn't dare look back at her, not being able to be near her again. Looking into her eyes would only prompt him to pull her to his body.

When he reached the door to his study, Peeta placed his hands flat against the surface attempting to steady him. In this moment the floor was giving out and he could feel himself endlessly falling.

* * *

The room smelled of perfumes and cleansers, which only made the need to vomit increase. Her skin burned from the constant assault of waxing and tweezing.

Her body already felt foreign. The sensations traveling up her body made her uncomfortable as the prep team Peeta had called in plucked and poked.

After Peeta had left her in the dining room, she stood in the room seething at his cold demeanor toward her. She wasn't positive how long she had been standing until Hazelle had entered the house.

The older brunette had been shocked at first to find the young girl standing in the middle of the room in her nightclothes, her feet caked with mud while her hair was in tangles around the back of her scalp.

However it didn't take long for Hazelle's gentle face to form a smile, holding her hand out to Katniss.

Katniss took it cautiously, allowing the woman to lead her into the kitchen. She directed her to one of the wooden stools pushed up under the island located in the middle of the kitchen.

With her free hand Hazelle pulled out the stool helping the girl up, her muddy toes curling on the legs.

Katniss let go of Hazelle's hand, her hands holding onto the edge of the elongated table.

Katniss was taken aback when a small loaf of nut bread was placed in front of her.

She looked up to see Hazelle smile at her gently before she began to work around the kitchen beginning her duties for the day.

Katniss stared at the bread. She was still wary if she should take food that was offered to her. It was something foreign to her, as was any human contact, and she had to admit, it made her want to panic.

"You should eat dear, because when the prep team and Cinna arrive, I doubt they'll allow you to take a snack break." Hazelle turned her back to Katniss, she began muttering to herself as she rummaged through the cabinets." Lord knows, for people who look so ridiculous you would think the whole lot of them would be a little more cheery. Except for Cinna, even with his eye liner, he's a lovely man."

Katniss picked at the bread placing the pieces into her mouth as she listened to Hazelle mutter and complain. She swung her legs back and forth watching Hazelle work.

A little while later Peeta walked into the room after being absent for most of the morning.

She intentionally diverted her eyes from him as he came to stand beside her. She could feel his arm brush against hers and she cursed the way her body reacted to his touch, even if it was fleeting.

It wasn't long until a group of bizarre dressed individuals carrying large cases burst through the back door entering the kitchen.

Katniss nearly fell off the stool. Peeta's hands braced her back, his fingers wrinkling the silk and causing it to rub against her skin.

They were talking and laughing loudly until they laid eyes on the petite girl, her hair and eyes wild.

Katniss swore she heard the pale green dyed women gasp while the other woman and man looked disgusted.

Katniss held very little patience for Capitol citizens, their gluttony and narcissism infuriated her.

She narrowed her eyes at their expressions before a well dressed man walked around them to stand at her side opposite of Peeta.

He introduced himself as Cinna. Shortly after taking Katniss by the arm, leading her up to where Peeta's master bathroom was.

She had looked up to Peeta for help but he only moved his eyes away from her.

Everything had been a blur after that, her body aching from the assault.

She had immediately been stripped of her clothing after entering the large bathroom. The wrinkled night shirt and shorts fell to the white tiles. Katniss covered her body embarrassed at how vulnerable she was in front of total strangers.

She was been thrown into the large tub of warm soapy bubbles and met by hands that were rough and urgent. An array of scrubs and soaps were applied to her skin. Katniss could see the water begin to brown.

Even with the bath that Hazelle had made her take the night before, her skin still held grim from years of neglect.

She had slapped their hands away more than once, occasionally splashing the water towards them. Katniss vaguely remembers sticking her tongue out at the one they called Octavia, when she had commented on how it was beyond her how someone could be comfortable with being so disgusting.

After she had been pulled from the tub, her skin raw and shiny, she had been pushed into the gold rimmed seat in front of a large vanity.

The cotton of the towel around her was useless at keeping the cool draft traveling through the bathroom.

The male of the trio pulled out a pair of scissors clipping at her dark hair as he also combed through it, moans of agitation escaping his lips.

Katniss had closed her eyes hoping they weren't going to turn her into one of the horrendous figures she had seen in the Capitol.

When her scalp was being ravaged by the slim man with the shears, her nails were filed and painted a light pink shade.

While one of the women filed, the other continued to pluck the dark hairs overgrown at her brows. It was torture for her to sit there while she was pulled from one side or the other. She was powerless and it irritated her.

After she had been pinched by the tweezers a second time, Katniss looked over to the green colored woman.

"If you pinch me again, I may have to stab you with those tweezers."

All three of them had gasped almost overpowering the small echo of laughter. Cinna was leaning against the door frame.

After the prep team was done with their beauty routine, Cinna escorted them out.

Katniss was glad to see them leave. She was tired of their side way glances toward each other.

Cinna walked over to her bringing her out of the chair, her now sleek wavy hair falling over her shoulders.

Katniss scratched at her back squirming as Cinna circled her.

"Why does my body itch so much?"

"It's been exfoliated; a new layer of skin is needed for its health. You'll get used to it."

"I feel like one big bruise. I never knew hair removal was so important."

Cinna shook his head as he headed over to a large leather trunk. He opened it pulling out a few items. He walked in front of her holding out something peculiar, one of its straps hanging from his hand.

"What's that?"

"It's an undergarment called a bra. You wear it under your clothing against your breasts."

Katniss made a face," Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, and just to warn you, the underwire will be uncomfortable at first but you will get used to it."

Katniss rolled her eyes before taking the garmet from him," I doubt it." She watched him walk back over to lay a few dresses down over the edge of the trunk." Do you think I can do this?" Katniss asked. Cinna raised an eyebrow as he looked to the article of clothing in her hand." Not the bra. Do you think I can fit into the world of the Capitol, that I can pull this off?"

Cinna stood up watching her closely," I don't know yet, but Peeta seems to believe you can and I've come to trust his judgment. So if he has faith in you, so do I."

Katniss nodded before straightening her back determined," Alright, now how does the blasted thing go on one's body?"

* * *

Peeta leaned against the door frame watching Hazelle attempt to navigate around the prep team as they gossiped and complained about how it was difficult to find certain body dyes that enhanced one's aura.

He knew how irritated Hazelle was by how she continuously cleaned the same spot of the counter.

He glanced up towards the stair case anticipating how she would look when Cinna had finished with her.

Peeta had to remind himself of how this wasn't something he should be concerned about. Although every time he thought of her, he could feel a blush rushing up his cheeks.

The prep team was too busy to notice but not Hazelle. She watched him with knowing smiles when she wasn't rolling her eyes at the others.

He almost didn't notice Cinna walking into the room, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Cinna stopped short as he motioned for her to ascend the stairs.

"Come on lovely, everyone is waiting."

Hazelle walked around the island to stand at the door frame, as Peeta turned towards the stairs. He could only see her feet at first, a pair of delicate white sandals on.

His eyes traveled up her body as she stepped down the stairs slowly, the hem of her white summer dress moved and wisped against her knees, purple flowers embroidered into the fabric. When she made it to the last step Peeta had to stop himself from sighing.

The top of the dress was much more restricting, easily showing off a bit of cleavage, as her dark hair fell around her shoulders in waves.

She was stunning. Her face was now clear and he could see the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose and onto her cheeks.

Katniss stood there self-consciously as she watched Peeta stare at her closely. She felt unnerved and she wanted desperately to know what he was thinking.

His bangs had fallen into his eyes again and she wanted to walk over and clear her view of his blue eyes. She closed her eyes annoyed with where her mind would go when it concerned him.

She opened her eyes when she heard someone walking towards her. Hazelle's kind face stopped in front of hers.

"You look lovely dear, absolutely beautiful, but you always were."

Katniss smiled at her gratefully," Thank you."

Hazelle stood by Katniss' side wrapping her arm around the girl," Peeta, doesn't she look wonderful?"

Peeta cleared his throat before studying her again," You look," he swallowed before he tensed his shoulders," It's an improvement."

Katniss' shoulders fell as Hazelle gave her a reassuring squeeze before ushering everyone into the den for a cup of tea, leaving Peeta and Katniss alone.

The silence was deafening and only made her feel even lonelier than she had previously. She turned to walk out of the room, leaving Peeta in his place at the door frame.

He watched her leave, her dark hair brushing against the bare skin of her back where the dress didn't cover.

Peeta had wanted to reach for her, brush her hair away from her face, before telling her how incredibly beautiful she was. He knew however, that showing her affection wouldn't help her; it would only hinder her chances of having a better life.

* * *

The sun shined down through the leaves casting a contrast of shadows and light on her face. She giggled lightly finding it hard to contain her glee.

Katniss felt alive amongst the trees, her back pressed into the cool earth as fallen leaves surrounded her. The scents and sounds of the forest enveloped her and for the first time she felt truly free.

After Cinna and his prep team had left, incredibly impressed with their work, Peeta had left the room almost immediately as Hazelle continued her daily tasks around the home.

Katniss had sat there for the longest time contemplating if she should remain seated in the quiet den or venture out.

It wasn't until a warm breeze blew through the window lifting the gauzy curtain that Katniss could see the tree line form where she sat, thus confirming her decision.

She had been careful to not be seen, the last thing she wanted was to be lectured by Peeta about how improper it was for her to be running off into the woods.

Katniss had made it halfway at a brisk jog before she began to run with all her speed to tree line, her delicate shoes occasionally getting stuck in the mud as she made her way to her destination.

She had thrown herself onto the ground as soon as she had reached the shade provided by the trees.

Her mind raced with thoughts of contentment and confusion. Peeta had been so cold and indifferent towards her, opposite from how he had been on her journey here.

Sometimes the air would become so thin when he was near and other times she could feel his indifference towards her. He confused her. She was never quite prepared for having him near.

Katniss sighed before sitting up; a couple of leaves had tangled themselves in her thick dark hair.

She attempted in vain to brush her dress off but she was positive that the dirt from the ground had already found its place in the fibers.

She pushed herself off of the ground and made the trek back up to the house, walking quickly not wanting to be seen.

Keeping a constant pace, she was almost to the porch when a loud cracking sound startled her, gaining her attention.

Katniss ran up the steps, not stopping until she reached the wall, her body hugging the structure tightly.

She kept her hands flat as she inched closer to the corner of the porch, peering around it cautiously.

She had to squint against the sunlight shining around him as it set his blonde hair aglow.

His arms extended up into the air wielding the axe before he brought it back down against the log of wood, splitting it precisely.

Peeta bent down for another and Katniss could see the muscles of his bare back flex.

His skin was lighter than hers but he had gained a tan from working out in the sun. Unlike hers, well until the prep team had erased all her scars, the skin on his back was smooth and tight.

She watched as his broad shoulders would tense as he lifted the axe.

Katniss could feel the flush rising up her body as a slight tingling worked its way through her toes up towards her cheeks.

Peeta grunted as the blade made contact with the wood. He placed his foot at the edge, using the leverage to pull the axe free.

He had needed some release after arguing with Effie on the phone for a record hour.

She didn't see the effort in training a district born who had no formal training but Peeta argued that she had great potential and that when she succeeded; the Capitol would see how much of a visionary Effie Trinket truly was. How she was able to take a girl from the streets that was an empty shell and turn her into a lady of standing.

In the end her narcissism won out and she allowed for him to take a couple weeks absence to prepare the girl for social standing.

When he had left the study he could smell the perfume she had been wearing, she was everywhere and threatening to drown him.

Peeta wanted to find her, take her into an embrace. The need to touch her was growing and he needed to clear his head.

Therefore for the last hour he had been out by the wood pile adding to the already overwhelmed stack of fire wood.

The physical exertion would help him rest later on and he hoped being exhausted would help to take his mind off of the girl.

Peeta couldn't get the image of the way the sun dress moved against her firm skin while she walked out of his head. Or the way the hem rode up mid way to her thigh when she had sat down for tea.

He tossed the axe to the side, reaching for his shirt that was tucked into his jeans. The cloth was already damp with his sweat as Peeta moved the fabric across his forehead.

His released the material letting it fall back to place along his side before he rolled his shoulders, the muscles and joints there stiff and popping from the stress and physical exertion of the task.

Katniss felt her heart drop from her place on the porch, as he stretched and rubbed the muscles at his shoulder. The sweat between his shoulders made his skin almost glow; only making her pulse quicken.

Katniss was lost in watching him when the opening of the back porch made her jump back. The breath knocked out of her lungs as she collided with the structure of the wall.

She slowly turned her head to the right to a smiling Hazelle.

"Hello dear, I was wondering where you had run off to," Hazelle leaned over to the side easily spotting Peeta splitting wood. She leaned back over righting her stance," Admiring the scenery?"

Katniss's face became red as her eyes widened," What?"

Hazelle lifted her hand to cover her grin," The tree's dear. I see you brought some of the forest back with you."

Katniss looked down to the front of her dress, she had completely forgotten its state," Yes, I did."

Hazelle nodded trying to fight back her laughter as the girl stammered," I see. So why are you still on the porch? I would have loved the company."

Katniss' eyes widened even more as she searched for an answer," Walls!"

"Walls?"

Katniss forced a nervous toothy grin," I like walls," Katniss patted the boards behind her," A lot."

"Alright."

Katniss swallowed her eyes looking anywhere but at Hazelle," Can I go now?"

"Of course."

Katniss forced herself from the wall, as she nearly ran into the house, the screen door slamming behind her.

Hazelle shook her head laughing quietly to herself as she walked down the steps, making her way around the corner down to where Peeta was sending the blade of the axe into another log.

Each half fell by the way side as his hands gripped onto the handle.

"You do know if you do all of Haymitch's duties you'll just be paying him for nothing. It's hard enough as it is to get the man to cooperate. What's going to happen when he decides not to bother at all?"

Peeta let go of the handle before wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

"I needed something to do."

Hazelle shook her head," No, you paint or read when you need something to do. You split wood when you're frustrated or troubled," Peeta turned to her, as she folded her arms over her chest." I remember you being fifteen, trying to lift the axe above your head. When I questioned you to why you felt the need to almost impale yourself with an axe or shards of wood, you told me that—"

"That I needed to move some of the pain and grief around, I know."

"So what is it?"

Peeta shook his head," I just needed to get out of that house. I couldn't breathe."

Hazelle turned her head to the house then back to Peeta," It wouldn't have anything to do with a fiery brunette would it?"

"Yes, Hazelle, you're the source of all my problems."

"I meant the girl."

Peeta turned away answering her gruffly," No."

"Alright, but since we're on the subject, I wanted to clear up the fact of why you were so cold to her before."

Peeta bent down to pick up the axe," What do you mean?"

"_It's an improvement_. What _was_ that?"

"I was trying to be detached, that's what she needs."

Hazelle uncrossed her arms walking over to him, "No, what she needs is support. She needs for you to be kind to her."

Peeta turned to her sharply, his eyes hard," Believe me that's the last thing she needs from me."

Hazelle watched him for a few seconds before sighing," Alright, I'm going to go start preparing for dinner. You know where to find me when you decide to actually start telling me the truth."

Peeta stood up exhaling a long breath, as he left the axe on the ground. He hated how she could see through him; how she wasn't fooled by the different versions of him he tried to pass as natural.

He could feel the anger rising through him as all the frustrations he felt from not being able to be honest with the people around him, especially the girl with the dark hair and gray eyes, boiled to the surface.

* * *

Katniss couldn't help but smile as she reached the door way to the kitchen. Hazelle's lyrical humming was calming and Katniss had begun to feel comfortable in her presence.

She had felt out of place and strange, but the older woman had a way to make her feel at ease. Katniss put her hand to the door frame before pushing herself into the room.

Hazelle turned around, startled when she saw Katniss standing there. Her hand going to her chest," Oh my! Dear you scared the heck out of me!"

"I'm sorry."

Hazelle's normal warm smile was back again," No, it's fine, you're just very quiet."

"Well for a long time it was the only way I could survive."

"I suppose that would be true."

Katniss nodded as she pulled the blue dress down, her fingers fidgeting with the fabric.

Hazelle watched her," Having problems?"

"No, it's just I've never wore dresses before. Well yes, when I was much younger but I don't remember them being so constricting, especially at the chest."

Hazelle laughed," Well be prepared, it will only get worse as we put some weight on you."

Katniss face fell in shock," You mean they get bigger?"

Hazelle burst out in laughter, her hand going to her mouth as she snorted trying to hold in her amusement at noticing how bewildered Katniss seemed.

Katniss pouted as Hazelle rounded the island, grabbing the girl by the wrist.

"It is good to see you washed the woods away because now I can teach you a few things about cooking."

Katniss stopped short causing Hazelle to do so also." I don't know how to cook."

"That's what teaching is about."

Katniss had nodded her head allowing Hazelle to lead her to the counter where a few ingredients were placed.

Katniss had become frustrated when the dough had decided it shouldn't rise. Her annoyance rose to fury when her next seven tries failed also.

She hit the counter in frustration, sending a cloud of flour to rest in her hair.

Hazelle shook her head, a string of laughter escaping her mouth.

Katniss narrowed her eyes," Why do you keep making fun of me? I don't appreciate the way you keep laughing at my expense."

Hazelle nodded, her voice becoming light and gentle," Katniss sometimes when people laugh at the things we do it's not always as an insult."

"Oh. Well alright, I suppose it's ok."

Hazelle walked over to her side to rub a streak of flour from her nose," Ok."

Katniss smiled wide, a small laugh escaping her lips, as Hazelle worked her fingers through the girl's dark hair.

* * *

It had taken another hour to prepare dinner before Hazelle had instructed Katniss to be seated at the dining table and await Peeta to join her. Her stomach had dropped realizing she would have to be in a room alone with him once again.

She was gripping the edge of the table when he came into the room, his clothes changed and his hair still damp from where he had bathed.

Katniss watched him closely as he reached the table avoiding eye contact with her. She closed her eyes. He smelled of soap and a musk belonging only to him.

Katniss felt light headed and she wondered if she would pass out by having him so close. The clatter of plates caused her to open her eyes as she was met with intense blue ones.

Peeta was the first one to break away when Hazelle entered the room, carrying the dinner plates. Peeta looked up to her clearing his throat.

"So, anything interesting happen for the later part of the day."

Hazelle nodded," Well, I gave Katniss her first cooking lesson today," Hazelle placed a plate in front of Peeta," but I think we need a bit more time to get the hang of it."

Peeta nodded, trying to focus on anything but the girl directly in front of him," Oh."

Hazelle continued on as she sat the remaining plate in front of Katniss. " Katniss seems to be interested in architecture."

"Really?"

"Oh yes," Hazelle tried to hold back her amusement as Katniss blushed," Walls."

Hazelle turned on her heel to walk back into the kitchen to fetch the rest of the meal.

Peeta reached for his cloth napkin, setting his silver ware to the side," Walls?"

Katniss looked up, her eyes landing on his chest and then flitting up to his eyes," No not really."

The rest of the meal was eaten in a deafening silence as both try to distance themselves from the other. Peeta would occasionally steal a glance her way, her dark hair falling at her chest.

She had changed from before, now wearing a blue summer dress with a dipping cleavage.

He had to swallow hard, as his food threatened to stick in his throat. Peeta decided that they would begin her lessons at once because the sooner she was ready to be introduced to society, the sooner he could find her an adequate suitor and she would be gone.

However, having her so close was destroying his resolve to keep his distance from her, with every passing moment the thoughts of being near her threatened to consume his every being, he wanted to feel her skin, hear her laughter. He just simply wanted to be in her world.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you again to my awesome Beta cookie-monster-kiki, and thank you to everyone who has already reviewed. But even so, Review, Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to review! It means so much to me, and all your kind words are so important to me._

_And as always much love to my incredibly patient Beta cookie-monster-kiki._

Chapter Three

Even with the windows opened, introducing the cool breeze to the tension filled room, Hazelle still felt confined. She had arrived at her normal time in the morning to begin the day's tasks.

She was surprised to find Peeta and Katniss already up sitting at the dining table, their empty tea cups scattered around the top of the finished wood.

Peeta was leaning over the table, his hands gripping onto the edges while Katniss lightly banged her head onto the table from her sitting position across from him.

"Is it really necessary to know all of their names?"

Peeta sighed, his patience thinning," Yes. It's your obligation to be the mediator for me when we're conversing with Capitol dignitaries and citizens. You have to show no room for error when dealing with these people. If they feel you're not confident in your position, they will look poorly upon us."

Katniss lifted her head, her eyes narrowing," You mean you. They would look poorly upon you."

"Katniss , we only have a short time for you to learn everything you'll need to know." Peeta stood up running his hands over his face," Do you think we can limit the amount of tantrums you throw?"

Katniss continued to glare at the blonde man across from her as she threw her hands up," Alright, so I had a little outburst!"

"Katniss you threw a cup against the wall when I made you walk down the steps."

"First off, it was after you made me walk up and down the stair case for about the hundredth time, convinced by posture was unacceptable… and I told you it slipped out of my hand!"

Peeta nodded, his lips pressed together tightly," So… and let me make sure I understand this correctly, the teacup slipped out of your hand and just happened to fly to the opposite wall and shatter?"

Katniss leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms," You're an ass!"

Peeta threw up his arms again," Oh, that's very mature. Thank you Katniss for your contribution to the conversation!"

"Oh I can be much more giving, but it would mean having to punch you in the face!"

Peeta glared at her," See, that's what we need to break, your inclinations to become violent. Your first instinct is to attack."

"Yeah, well it got me this far."

"It won't in this world. You're not living in the sewer pipes anymore Katniss. Everyone will be watching us closely to see if we fail. They're all counting on it to be honest."

Katniss lowered her head looking to the side," I don't care."

"Yes, you do."

"So, learning every cabinet member's name or how to curtsy will prove that I deserve to be there? Are you really that delusional?"

"I know how important having to play the part is. So yes, studying etiquette, propriety and seemingly useless facts can cement your standing in their eyes."

"That's ridiculous."

"The Capitol doesn't care about character Katniss, they only recognize what and who can assist their own agendas and if you refuse to play the game than they have no need for you. If you can't understand and adapt to that sort of lifestyle, I have no idea why you're here in the first place."

After that Katniss straightened her posture before reciting the names of the dignitaries should she encounter when assisting Peeta.

Hazelle watched the two of them, each disconnected from the other, both going through the motions.

She had finished with prepping the ingredients for the midday meal when she heard the banging of hands against the table.

Hazelle sat the clear glass bowl she had been holding down gently on the counter as she walked to the dining room, wiping her hands on her floor length skirt.

Katniss was standing up; her chair had been pushed back recklessly threatening to tip over on its side before landing straight on the floor.

Peeta was leaning up against the wall, his hands in his hair as he gripped onto the strands tightly.

"I quit! I'm not doing this anymore! I'm tired and my ass hurts from sitting for hours, my head hurts from all the nonsense you keep shoving at me, and I think I've had to pee for the last hour but I I've been too terrified that you wouldn't let me go!"

Peeta lowered his hands, his brow furrowing," Do you really think I wouldn't allow you to use the restroom? Do you know how nuts you sound?"

Katniss' shoulders fell before her back stiffened. She pointed a finger towards him," Don't you ever say that to me again."

"So you're just going to quit?"

"Yes."

Katniss turned around walking out of the room, but not before pushing her chair down to the ground.

"Just send me back to the sewers!"

Hazelle watched Katniss run up the stairs, most likely heading to her room. Her assumptions were proven right when the slamming of a door echoed through the house.

Peeta pushed himself off of the wall to lean forward on the cluttered table. A few of the cups tipped on their sides from the force, the clinking of porcelain sounding through the room.

His bangs hung out in front of him as his face looked towards the floor. He could hear her footsteps as she made her way over to him. Peeta was about to stand up when he felt a hard slap connect with the back of his head.

He sprung up one hand going to his scalp the other extended before him in defense," OW! What the hell Hazelle!"

Hazelle's normal soft eyes were now stern," What is wrong with you?"

"At the moment, I have someone attacking me!"

"No, before," Hazelle motioned towards the stairs where Katniss had made her exit," that girl has been thrown into something she doesn't understand or relate to and you are treating her like some animal you have to train."

"She needs to know these things."

"Why? Because it's expected of her? Peeta she needs room to breathe. That poor girl has been through so much in the last few days, hell in her whole life. She doesn't need someone else trying to fit her into their idea of what is acceptable. She needs you to help her find her way," Hazelle watched him as he hunched his shoulders over looking to the floor," but that's it isn't it? You're more lost than she is."

Peeta righted his posture looking to her," I know who I am and I know that what I need to do here is get her to where she needs to be. That's away from here."

"Why is it so difficult for you to have her near? It baffles me how the two of you are so similar and neither of you can see it."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Don't think I don't still remember that gangly boy with all the blonde hair who wouldn't sleep in his bed but rather slept on the floor for months. The boy who spent most of his free time locked in his room with a pencil and a pad of paper." Peeta looked to the side, deliberately avoiding her gaze." I also remember when you came back from _your_ first quote-on-quote visit to the Capitol; you wouldn't speak for a week."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, Katniss is who you were before all the politics, before you sacrificed your character for the Capitol's approval: a scared child trying to make sense of it all, of anything."

Peeta looked to her, his eyes hard," I don't employ you for your opinions."

Hazelle nodded," You're right you don't, but I am one of the only people you gives a damn about you. And I know I've earned the respect for you to not treat me as though I'm some disposable employee. And that girl up there, she needs you to recognize how difficult this has been for her."

Peeta ran his hand over his face," I know, I just—" Peeta let out a deep breath, he could feel his eyes well up with tears," She makes everything complicated."

"You two do see things differently—"

"No, it's not that. She makes me… I don't know."

Hazelle studied his face." Where's your head right now?"

"I don't know."

"Well you need to figure it out and quickly too." Hazelle turned around to walk towards the stairs," I'm going to go check on Katniss."

Peeta watched as she left the room, his shoulders hunching over, as a few unshed tears rolled down his face.

* * *

Katniss ran into her room and slammed the door. She threw herself to the floor and pressed her back up against the wall. He infuriated her, treating her like an insolent child.

He acted as though he was above her and having to be in the same room as her was an insult to his character.

Peeta confused her. At times he could be so open with her but usually he was cold, holding a part of himself back.

Katniss assumed he thought of her as most Capitol people did, as a waste of space, something that needed to be ignored or erased.

The soft knocking from the other side of the door drew her out of her thought process. Katniss didn't make an effort to move, her hands sitting in her lap, as the door opened slowly.

Hazelle leaned half of her body into the room using the door frame for leverage. Her dark hair was now free of its usual braid; the brunette strands falling down to her waist as she her curved her back.

"Hello."

Katniss sighed," Hazelle, I don't need you to come and check up on me. I'm not some pathetic girl who falls apart because a boy was mean to her."

Hazelle nodded, as she righted her body," I know, and I didn't come to check on you." Hazelle stepped over the threshold, entering the room fully," I have things to do, like straightening the rooms."

Katniss furrowed her brow," Really?"

Hazelle walked over to the already made bed," Yes, really." The older woman smoothed out the slight wrinkles of the bedspread," What other reason would I have to come up here?"

Hazelle walked around the room straightening objects that were already in their appropriate places and wiped surfaces which were already clean. Her back was to Katniss when she heard the younger girl shift on the floor, the wooden boards beneath her creaking.

"I'm afraid."

Hazelle smiled to herself, grateful the girl had decided to open up to her. She sighed quietly before turning to Katniss, the older woman's smile having left her face.

"What was that dear?"

"I'm afraid that they were right."

"Who?"

"The Capitol citizens, the house mothers at the orphanage. When they would tell me I was nothing more than trash, that there was nothing exceptionally special about me. I'm afraid that if I decide to become more than what I am now, that I'll fail. And in return… just prove them right."

Hazelle walked over to her, kneeling in front of the girl, the tips of her fingers next to Katniss' toes," You don't know that."

Katniss looked up to Hazelle her gray eyes full of tears," I should just run. I know how to leave, it's what I've always done, it's easy for me."

"Yes, it is easy. And it doesn't take much effort, and really it is all you're capable of right?"

Katniss pursed her lips, a few tears falling to the edges of her lips," I—"

Hazelle continued over Katniss' interruption," Because it's not like you survived on your own for so long, or that you were able to hold onto a piece of yourself through all of the pain you must have endured. Or even that you were capable of so much strength to trust a complete stranger. Katniss, if you were able to do all those things, then reciting a few names and being polite around the hubris of Capitol citizens shouldn't be anything out of your grasp."

"All of those things were something I had to do or I wouldn't have survived."

"Katniss, my point is that it is easier to run from the things that scare us but staying takes so much more strength," Hazelle reached out, her fingers picking up a strand of dark hair and moving it behind the younger girl's ear," And strength my dear is something you have."

Hazelle kept her hand at Katniss' cheek before retracting it to rest in her lap.

Hazelle cleared her throat as she settled on the floor, her long skirt almost trapping her feet," A few years ago, I lost my husband in an accident. One of the tunnels in the mine shaft collapsed. He was my everything Katniss, and when he left me and our three sons behind, my whole world disintegrated. There was a point when I seriously debated leaving my home and my children because everything reminded me of my loss. He was in the faces of our boys and in the way my oldest Gale would say things. He sounded just like his father. But I ultimately decided that my pain wasn't important enough to hurt the people I loved. And then about three months later, a young boy with a kind face came to live here and I realized that staying gave me a purpose, it allowed me to help someone who needed it."

"There's more to it besides just deciding to stay. Peeta and I don't understand each other. We're completely different."

Hazelle leaned her head to the side, a grin forming at her lips," You know for someone so smart, that is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard leave your mouth. Heck, anyone's mouth, and I've raised three boys, four if you count Peeta!"

"What?"

"You two are a pair. The one complains that the other one doesn't understand when you're both wrong. You and Peeta have more in common than you know, but the both of you are so damn stubborn neither one of you will give in enough to actually learn something."

"Hazelle, you were down there. Peeta couldn't hide his aggravation towards me. Hell, he can barely be in the same room with me."

"Katniss, sometimes fear can be masked as irritation. For someone like Peeta who feels so much but can't get out of his own head, the translation can come out a bit muddled."

"What should I do?"

Hazelle shook her head," I can't tell you what to do. All I can say is that I think you should trust in yourself and not give into what may be easier. You're a good girl Katniss; you already know what's best for you, don't you?"

Katniss nodded, a smile beginning to form, as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

* * *

Peeta had been pacing the dining room since Hazelle had gone up stairs. He wouldn't be surprised if the floor boards were now scraped by the heels of his boots.

He regretted how he had been treating Katniss, his fear of having her near had become spiteful. He was ashamed of himself, of how he allowed his own anxieties to bleed over to how he related to her.

Peeta shoved his hands into his blonde hair, his tense fingers working through the strands. His hands stopped at the back of his neck, massaging the muscles there as he tried to work through the tension which had settled.

He stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes when he heard footsteps descending into the foyer connecting to the dining area.

Peeta pressed his fingertips into the skin at the edge of his hairline as he rolled his shoulders forward.

"Hazelle, you were right. I was an ass to the girl. You can spare yourself from having to lecture me again."

"You were an ass," Peeta's eyes flew open as he spun around, spotting her by the door frame," but you weren't the only one."

Peeta watched her closely, his eyes working their way down her body. A light pink dress with a high neckline hung down around her knees, the hem wisped from the breeze traveling through the room.

His eyes traveled down the olive skin of her legs landing on her bare feet. Katniss shuffled and rotated her ankles under his gaze. He had a way of making her feel anxious along with a warm feeling which originated from her stomach and made it's way up her chest to her face.

Peeta cleared his throat before looking up to her face, which was now framed by waves of dark strands. She was absolutely captivating and he had to remind himself to breath.

Peeta felt self conscious under her eyes, causing him to swallow before he spoke," I wasn't fair to you earlier. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I just see so much in you, so much potential."

"You think I have potential?"

"Yes."

"It was wrong, how I acted. I think I was just… am, petrified of failing. No one's ever expected anything of me and to have you put your faith in my ability to pull this off, it scares me." Katniss could feel the tears well up, causing her to look to the ground, her squirming feet in view," I'm not good at being vulnerable."

Peeta walked over to her, his pace was painstakingly slow, but he didn't want to scare her off and negate any of the progress they had just made.

When he was a few feet from her, he inched towards her until he could smell the lavender from her soap surrounding him. He closed his eyes drinking her in, before reaching out to touch the side of her face.

His fingers spread out slowly before catching in her dark hair, his hand tangling there beside her face. His thumb rested beside her jaw line, as he lifted her face up towards his.

Her gray eyes were shining from the tears collecting there, her mouth slightly open. Her feet had stilled when she had felt his hand against her face, a blush had formed there.

Her chest began to rise and fall rapidly as her pulse raced from the heat coming from his skin and collecting against hers.

"We're in this together Katniss, I promise."

She nodded mutely, fighting the urge to lean into his palm before he pulled his hand free. She immediately missed the sensation of his skin against hers, even if it was only minimal.

Katniss searched his blue eyes as he watched her in return. Something had shifted between them, and Katniss wasn't sure if it was something to celebrate or dread.

* * *

After Peeta had stepped back from her, they had stood there watching each other, both waiting for the other to break the connection.

Peeta could feel the space between them crackle and he wanted more than anything to act in the moment and bring her body to his. To see if it felt the same it had when he was thirteen. He ached to feel her body pressed against his.

Katniss was the first to look away and Peeta couldn't push back the pain he felt to not have her eyes on him. She fiddled with the hem of her dress before she turned sideways facing the door frame.

Peeta wanted to close the gap between them. He was tempted to touch her but not gentle like before. He wanted to pull her to him, to kiss her the way he dreamed of, with conviction and passion.

Rationally he knew that doing such things were against how he should be acting towards her. When it came to concerning Katniss, he needed to distance himself, even if he wasn't going to be so cold towards her.

Nothing had changed; he was still determined to have her live a life free of struggles. He knew that giving into his urges wouldn't help in the least.

She had given him a sideways glance before leaving the room without a word. Peeta felt himself involuntarily taking a step forward but luckily she had already disappeared up the stairs.

He had paced the floor of the dining room for nearly a half hour before he made his way towards the staircase.

Gripping the banister, Peeta ascended up the stairs. When he reached the landing he turned towards her room. He had originally decided to make his way to his own room but the memory of her so close was still in his mind.

The door was halfway open. He could see the modest wooden dresser from the opening as he walked further. When he reached the door, Peeta pushed it forward slowly, a long squeeking sound from the hinges echoing.

He breathed in deeply before stepping forward over the threshold; he wanted to prepare himself for when he saw her again.

He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting. He had already decided he wasn't going to allow anything physical to happen between them.

When he stepped fully into the room, he could feel the absence of her presence. Katniss had a way of filling a room and without her the space felt empty.

Peeta stood in the room for a few seconds before he realized how pathetic it was that his need to be close to her would be fulfilled by simply standing in her empty room.

He shook his head at his own stupidity, turning to leave, until he saw the tattered leather binding still lying on the nightstand.

Peeta hesitated before walking over to where the book was kept. His hand hovered over the binding before running his fingers over the edges, his hand finally taking hold of it to bring it closer.

Peeta opened the leather cover, his thumb carefully flipping the fragile pages, which for the most part had torn along the top.

He stopped short when separate writing in a hand scroll instead of type face caught his attention. Peeta moved his eyes over the page, the smooth handwriting leaping off of the page.

He mouthed the words at first before speaking them out loud.

"_The boy with the warm embrace waits for me in my dreams. He has no name or face but his arms are my home, and sometimes I can feel the loneliness coursing through him as it does me. Other times when the beasts attack and the pain rips me apart he simply watches. But even with the fleeting sense of betrayal, I still yearn for his touches."_

Peeta pushed down the intense nausea which threatened to over take him. He had left her alone in her own pain. Even if she didn't remember, he did.

* * *

Peeta ran his fingers over her words, wishing he could give her the boy she once had dreams of, but he knew how fuetal it was. That boy was gone. He had banished when Peeta was fifteen, when he had been victimized.

When his body had been used as entertainment and his soul had been permanently tainted.

* * *

The ground had cooled from the last time she had sprawled her body underneath the trees and she dug her bare toes into the dirt, reveling in the feel.

The forest had become her sanctuary and she breathed in the sounds surrounding her as the sunlight shined through the leaves, casting different shapes onto her face.

She laughed lightly to herself imagining what it would be like having to explain to Peeta how she had gotten a sunburn in the image of a leaf on her face.

Although knowing her luck, the fashion fanatics of the Capitol would see it as another fad and before she could react their faces would have similar patterns.

Katniss sighed before pushing herself off of her back, her hand behind her for leverage.

She reached one of her hands up to her hair, the poking of a stick tangled in her hair getting her attention.

Katniss gritted her teeth as the stick tangled in her curls. She yanked for a few seconds before the thin piece of wood was free, a couple of strands taken with it as they had knotted on the twig. She grunted before rubbing her head, tossing the stick aside.

She should have known better. It had taken Hazelle a fare amount of time to brush through her hair the last time she had decided to lie on the forest floor.

Katniss planted her feet firmly before standing up, her hands going to the front of her dress. Dirt lightly smeared the front and she tried to prepare herself for another one of Hazelle's kind but disapproving looks.

She had brought Katniss a few pairs of slacks and button up shirts that had belonged to her oldest son Gale. Hazelle had taken them in for her, hemming the pants and mending the shirts.

She had seen Katniss' affinity for becoming familiar with the dirt of the forest and she had decided that an old pair of clothing was a much more suitable outfit for rolling around in the dirt.

Katniss had blushed at Hazelle's generosity and she was grateful for the gesture, but she had felt the need to escape the house and having the feel of the air on her bare skin when Peeta was near was enough to make her lose all control.

After he had held her hair in his hand and looked at her the way he did, Katniss felt anxious and confused.

His eyes had softened but there was still something guarded about him. She annoyed herself by how curious she was to find out.

Peeta made things complicated but she still wanted to find out what it felt like for him to hold her. She wanted to run her hands through his soft blonde hair; she wanted to tug at the ends causing him to smile.

Katniss shook her head lightly slapping herself on the forehead. She needed to clear her mind of any delusions she had towards the companion because even if it wasn't forbidden for him to have a personal relationship, she would be the last person he would choose.

Katniss trudged up the steep hill which led to the back of the manor. Her feet stung from the rocks digging into her soles and she mentally noted how she would have to be more responsible about remembering to wear shoes next time.

She was lost in the pain from her pinkie toe, which she had just jammed, when she ran into something, the force of the collision sending her back, her feet struggling to find their footing.

She almost cried out loud when the wall she had run into turned out be a person. His head was leaning to the side as he held his waist, his arm folded around his ribs. Katniss watched him as he grunted and cursed, his thinning blonde hair hanging around his face obstructing her view.

She jumped back when he stood up, directly glaring at her.

Katniss balled her hands into a fist incase she would need to defend herself against an attacker. She assumed with Peeta's house being more on the grand side than most homes in the outlying districts, that the land would attract vagrants and looters.

The man sniffs loudly as he rubs his side. He continues to glare at her as he speaks.

"Sweetheart, if the boy sent for you, you should know that the prostitutes are to enter from the front door."

"I'm not a prostitute."

"Well why the hell else are you roaming around on the land?"

"I live here now. I'm the new hand maiden."

The man laughed out loud, his head thrown back before looking back to her," I vaguely remember Hazelle telling me about a new house guest but I just assumed I had dreamed it."

Katniss nodded as she quickly walked around him, her battered feet taking her as fast as they could. She wanted to put as much distance between her and the man as possible.

He worried her and when she was on the defense she could be unpredictable. She was nearly to the steps when she felt a hand on her arm. She didn't waste any time before she turned around swinging. Her fist made contact with the older man's jaw; she could hear the contact of bone against bone.

Her hand had already begun to ache as she backed up from him. He was holding his face and cursing loudly.

The commotion must have passed through the house because before she could make it half way up the steps, the back door flew open.

Peeta was now behind her followed by Hazelle, who ran down the steps to stand beside Katniss.

"Are you ok dear?"

The man groaned loudly," The hell with her! She hit me! The tart hit me!"

Hazelle glared at the man," Haymitch, watch your mouth."

Katniss began to panic as she turned around to face Peeta," I'm so sorry! I know you said that I needed to stop being violent but he frightened me. I thought he was going to hurt me!"

Haymitch spitted out a mouthful of saliva mixed with blood as he held onto his jaw," Me hurt you! What a bunch of bullshi—"

Peeta couldn't help but smile at her concern," Katniss if there was anyone who needed to be struck, it's Haymitch." Peeta gestured to the man at the bottom of the steps," Haymitch this is Katniss. Katniss this is Haymitch, he maintains the grounds and I use the word maintains lightly."

Katniss turned around as Haymitch made his way up the stairs pushing his way through Hazelle and Katniss. Peeta didn't pay the man any notice as he watched Katniss, her shoulders hunched over in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry."

Hazelle laughed lightly at the girl," Oh sweetie, don't worry about it. Haymitch needs to be knocked around every once in awhile, it's good for him."

Hazelle patted her on the shoulders before walking up the stairs and into the house. Katniss suddenly could feel her stomach twist as she was left alone with him.

Peeta watched as she tensed her shoulders. He tried not to notice how the back of her dress would reveal more of her skin when she would rotate he shoulders.

He needed to put as much distance between Katniss and himself as possible, and fast too, because the overwhelming need to reach out and trace the outlines of her shoulder blades was wearing his resolve down.

* * *

Katniss turned around in enough time to see his retreating back as he walked into the house. Katniss sat down on the step, her hands hanging loosely off of her lap, the ends of her fingers brushing against her bare legs.

She was beginning to think that living beneath the Capitol while struggling to survive may have been less complicated then having to sort through the feelings she was having when it came to Peeta Mellark.

* * *

The room was bright from the sunlight filtering in through the window, the curtains had been drawn back. Katniss assumed it had been Hazelle after she had brought the small amount of clean laundry Katniss had.

Cinna had left a closet full of dresses, some more revealing than others. Katniss had settled on only a few that she felt comfortable wearing.

The scent of lemons filled the air, causing Katniss to breathe in deep. The tart aroma reminded her of a memory she had from her childhood, but as with most of her memories, she had a difficult time separating reality from a dream.

Everything blended together; all the pain and trauma had melded every experience into a blur.

Katniss walked over to the nightstand. Reaching down she picked up the one thing that had given her hope and joy through all of the turmoil.

She couldn't remember where or how she had acquired it but she always remembered having it near her.

It reminded her to believe in magic and love and the human spirit. This battered book gave her the child wonderment she had been missing for so long.

Katniss pressed it to her chest, similar to how she would when she had been starving and at the brink of death.

The squeaking of the floor boards startled her as she turned around quickly, nearly losing her footing.

Hazelle walked into the room quickly, her arms rose to help Katniss find her balance.

"I didn't mean to startle you. I was going to let you know that dinner will be starting soon."

Katniss nodded," Alright, thank you."

Hazelle looked to the girl's hands, eyeing the item closely," May I question about the book? It seems dear to you."

"It is."

"Did you receive it in the orphanage?"

Katniss eyed the woman closely," How did you know I was in the orphanage?"

"When you enter a room, you survey the space first before stepping through, and when you eat, you keep a tight grip on the plate. It's something I've only seen from children who've spent time in orphan homes. Not to mention, Peeta did the exact same things when he first came here."

"Peeta was in the orphanage?"

"Yes. He never told you?"

"No, but we don't talk much about anything personal. To be honest we don't talk much anyway, at least not to each other."

"If you don't mind me asking, was the orphanage before or after the tunnels?"

"It was before. When I was six, my mother died giving birth, both she and the baby passed away. My father was destroyed. I remember him wandering the roads of the district we were living in at the time. He would always come back until one day he just didn't. I was shuffled around numerous child homes until I ended up in the orphanage at the Capitol. I was eleven by that time. I remember fighting this other girl and then being thrown into this room with no light or windows. I've tried to remember more but all I can think of is fairies dancing on the walls."

"How did you escape?"

"I don't remember. All I remember are lights," Katniss closed her eyes straining to work through her fragmented memory," bright lights everywhere."

Katniss gripped the book tightly, as she pressed it to her chest," How can I know who I am without most of my memory? I'm only half a person. I wish there was a way that I could just grow back that part of me that's missing."

Katniss sat on the bed, Hazelle's arms around her, as the older woman pulled her hair behind her to fall around her shoulders.

Peeta had been walking past the room after vacating the room he used as an art studio. Katniss' voice had prompted him to stop; he leaned back against the wall listening to her.

It seemed she remember some of her time at the orphanage. He prayed that she didn't begin to gain anymore recollection because he wouldn't want her to have to endure the pain of remembering.

She had made him feel safe and loved then. Peeta felt as though someone understood his loneliness. Now he had to deal with the agony of having her near and never being able to truly call her his own.

* * *

The hallway was quiet as she held her breath watching him wipe his brow with the back of his hand. A streak of yellow paint followed. Sweat mixing with acrylic.

He had removed his shirt a few minutes before; the sweat collecting at his shoulder blades reflects the sunlight coming from the open window at the far wall. Katniss dug her nails into the door frame, the need for leverage essential.

She watched his biceps flex as he glided the paint brush across the canvas. Katniss felt the same sensation as the day on the porch, the blush rising up her face was making her feverish.

She felt foolish and intrusive for watching him. The rational part of her brain told her to walk away but something in her made her keep her place.

Peeta moved his thumb over the canvas, bright orange paint pressing into the creases of his print. The warm paint slid across the tight fabric, forming into something new and genuine.

He couldn't help the smile that crept over his lips as the floor boards creaked once again. She had been standing in the hall watching from the slight opening of the door for almost ten minutes.

Peeta had heard her approach the door. He found it amusing that Katniss thought she was being sneaky.

He contemplated how long she would keep up the rouse, her curiosity only made her even more adorable to him.

"Do you remember the last time one of us spied on the other? I vaguely remember a knife being involved later on."

Katniss scrunched her face in embarrassment, before releasing the door frame to push the door open wider," I wasn't spying."

Peeta kept his attention on the painting before him, "Then what would you call it?"

"Observing."

"So a fancier word for spying?"

Katniss tried to fight back the smile threatening to form, deciding to stick out her bottom lip instead," Shut up."

Peeta looked over to her, a deep laugh escaping his lips. His bare shoulders hunched over as the action wracked his body. She had a way of surprising him in the simplest ways and it was difficult for him not to feel something towards her.

He looked up to her face, a look of bewilderment there, which only caused him to laugh harder. As his amusement grew, her confusion enhanced. Peeta couldn't stand seeing her lost. He waved her in as he tried to contain his laughter.

"Come in," Katniss watched him closely," It's alright, come here."

Katniss ducked her head as she walked into the room slowly. Once inside, she immediately began to scan her surroundings.

Hundreds of paintings were haphazardly tacked onto the wall amongst some coal drawn sketches. Easels were thrown against the walls, most lying on their sides, and tubes of empty and full paints were littered around the room.

Everything was in direct contrast to what she had seen from Peeta. He seemed in control and calculated, down to the way he unfolded his cloth napkin at meals or how he sat down, always with a precision and tediousness about it.

However the room and the man standing a few feet from her covered in paint was something different.

Katniss turned towards him. She studied the movement of his body; the way the muscles in his back would contract when he painted was mesmerizing.

Although it wasn't just the fact that her hormones were distracting, it was that he seemed different almost lighter.

Katniss could feel the flush rising higher up her face. She regretted having to wear dresses which left most of her skin bare. It would have been easier to hide her warm skin if she had been wearing something different.

Peeta turned around to find her as he had finally broken out of the deep concentration he was giving to the project in front of him.

He placed the handle of the brush between his teeth when his eyes landed on her. He had the suspicion she had been watching him because now her eyes darting above his head as she tried to express a look of indifference.

Her dark hair hung over one side of her face, tempting Peeta to step forward and brush the strands back behind her to rush down the soft skin of her back.

Instead he waved her forward before he motioned for her to stand beside him.

His teeth gritted as he struggled to speak over the thin wooden handle in his mouth," Come here, you can help me paint."

Katniss shook her head," No, I don't know how."

Peeta took the brush from between his teeth before holding out his free hand to her," What's there to know?"

Katniss eyed his hand closely before stepping forward, her hand extending out to his. Peeta was the first to wrap his fingers around her petite hand as it fit into his palm perfectly.

The contact of skin, even with how minimal it was, was enough to send a shiver up her arm. She hoped Peeta couldn't feel her anxiety. She fought the urge to shy away under his presence.

The nerves she had felt in the hall were only intensifying, as he led her to where he had been painting.

Katniss allowed him to pull her body freely, before he stopped their pace in front of the canvases. She had to hold back a sigh when her eyes fell upon the finished painting at their right.

A myriad of deep blues and pinks mixed together with a presence of green, as yellow lightly kissed the leaves. He had painted the forest at the end of the hill.

The place she had become so fond of, where she felt she could truly breathe. Her sanctuary. But it wasn't just the subject that struck her with amazement; it was the raw power of the strokes, which for some reason made her feel a sense of longing.

Katniss tried to hide the emotion from her voice," You painted my forest."

Peeta stopped the brush in mid dip, the tip buried in a red hue," Your forest? When I first came here I would spend most of my free time lying on the ground staring into the sky through the leaves."

Katniss tore her attention from the painting," You do that too?"

Peeta swallowed deeply," I used to."

"Why don't you anymore?"

Peeta watched her face closely," Something changed."

"What?"

Peeta opened his mouth, but instead shook his head as he directed his attention back to the accumulated paint on the hairs of the brush.

"You actually gave me the inspiration, the way you keep bringing the woods back with you into the house," Peeta snuck a glance at her as she ducked her head out of embarrassment, a small smile formed at his lips," I think Hazelle may have a break down if you keep tracking mud onto her clean floors."

Peeta watched as her dark hair hung to the side, as sunlight shined through setting her face a light. She was utterly breathtaking and he could feel himself wanting to be lost in her.

He wanted to feel her lips against his, to discover her body, to trace its lines and curves. His free hand ached to reach out to her, he needed to be close to her, and it was that need that frightened him.

He needed to distance himself from her but every time he felt he made progress, he would see her and all of his efforts would vanish.

"I've been wanting to tell you how I respect the distance you've maintained in your training and how serious you've been taking it all."

Katniss looked to him slowly, her hair still hanging down," Are you paying me a compliment?"

"Yes, I am. Is that so hard to imagine?"

"The truth? Yes."

"Why's that?"

"Because the last time I was sure you would you insulted me."

Peeta layed down the brush, turning to her fully," Are you talking about when you came down stairs after Cinna had taken care of your appearance? Are you still upset about that?"

Katniss turned to him fuming," Of course I am! I had just been scrubbed, waxed, and pulled every such way. I was waiting to see your reaction, it meant a lot to me how you felt and you were indifferent, condescending even."

Peeta sighed," I was trying to be impartial. You don't need me to dote over you."

"I never wanted you to dote over me. Maybe sometimes a girl just needs a cute boy to tell her she's pretty!"

Peeta couldn't hide the shocked expression on his face," You think I'm cute?"

Katniss looked at him sharply," What?"

A smile curled at his lips," You just said I was cute."

"No."

Peeta pointed at her, a wide toothy grin on his face," Yes, you did."

Katniss turned her head, a deep flush warming her cheeks." I suppose you're ok to look at."

"So you admit that you think I'm cute?"

Peeta bent over laughing, his hands at his knees, as Katniss began to fume even more than before. Looking down she spotted a palette of fresh paint. His laughter filled the room and she felt enraged by how he mocked her.

With steady fingers she reached down dragging her fingers through the warm paint. Blue wet acrylic buried into her finger nails covering the entirety of her fingers sans her thumb. Katniss withdrew her hand staring at it for a few seconds before extending her hand to Peeta's face, smearing the paint from cheek bone down to his jaw.

His laughter ceased when the sensation of the paint fully registered. Katniss lowered her hand stepping back, a smile on her face.

"Now you're cute."

Katniss waited for him to become angry, to lecture her on the merits of being mature.

However she was shocked when he buried his fingers into the paint, before standing up to trail his own hand down her face.

Finger trails of orange paint covered her face from her hair line down to her jaw. Peeta pulled his hand back, shaking the excess paint to the side.

"Now we both are."

Katniss nodded as she wiped one of her clean fingers at the paint covering the center of her face. With her other hand she reached into a pile of yellow paint, her fingers swirling around.

"In that case I think you should be handsome," Katniss quickly smacked Peeta lightly on the cheek as she smeared the paint on his face," Don't you think?"

Peeta nodded his bottom lip out as he reached into the paint himself," And while we're at it, you should be incredibly gorgeous," Peeta reached to her face covering the other side in even more paint," Don't you think?"

Katniss nodded," Oh, absolutely!"

Peeta barely had time to jump back before she came at him with paint covered hands, he caught one of her hands but the other was able to smear his shoulders with purple paint.

It wasn't long until they both were covered in paint, their clothes stained, along with their bodies down to their feet. Peeta had chased her around the room as she yelped and giggled while trying to hide behind easels and canvases.

The laughter filled the once quiet room, and Peeta found himself feeling almost natural for once in a long time. He had backed her into a corner and while trying to escape, Katniss slipped into a spill of paint, they had resorted to throwing small containers at each other.

She screamed out as she hit the floor but a fit of giggles exited her throat as she rocked from side to side with laughter. Peeta couldn't stop his feet before he fell to the ground alongside her, landing on top of her. He held his hands out bracing himself for leverage as he hovered above her.

Peeta looked down at her as she continued to laugh, her face covered with an array of colors but he could still see the smooth olive skin underneath. The sun continued to shine through, illuminating her face as she dark hair fanned out above her.

He had to swallow deeply. She looked absolutely incredible. He tried to push down the urge to kiss her but he could feel his conviction lessening.

Katniss struggled to breathe. Her sides ached from laughter but she felt lighter than she ever had. She stilled her rocking to land on her back watching the man looking down at her.

His face was masked with paint but it couldn't hide the strong lines of his face or the piercing blue eyes that could tear through her but at the same time build her up.

The room went silent as they watched each other, only the heavy sound of their breathing filled the room.

Peeta was the first to move as he settled on his knees to sit up. He held his hand out to her. Katniss took it, allowing him to help her sit up. He pulled her up until she was inches from his face. She could feel his breath on her face, his lips only a short distance from hers.

The room went still as Katniss felt her skin beginning to tingle. Her eyes involuntarily went to his lips. Her head beginning to feel light as the nerves in her stomach turned in knots. She almost missed the movement of his hand as he wiped at her nose with the side of his thumb.

The feel of his skin on hers was enough to drive her to madness. She needed to pull him against her, to feel his bare chest pressed against hers.

Peeta watched her closely as he rubbed the paint from her nose to reveal the light freckles there, "You're so beautiful."

"Why do you have to be so kind? You make it difficult to hate you."

Peeta leaned back enough to stare into her face fully, while still leaving his thumb at her nose," Would it be easier for you to hate me?"

"Maybe, I just don't know how to relate to you sometimes."

Peeta looked to her bright gray eyes," Do you always have to be so brave?"

"You think I'm brave?"

Peeta withdrew his hand from her face to place it in his lap," Yes, I do."

Katniss let out a short laugh but her eyes gleamed in sadness," That's interesting because I'm usually scared to death."

Peeta looked down to her hands before taking them in his," Well, whenever you get scared you can find me." Peeta slowly raised his face to look into hers," Always."

* * *

It had taken most of the day to clean the dried paint form the wooden floors, something his aching muscles could attest to. Hazelle had walked in; her face of horror was amusing to the both of them, before she ran out to only return with a pile of washcloths and a bucket of soapy water.

Katniss had fallen to the floor in a fit of laughter and Peeta could only follow. After Hazelle had left, secretly smiling to herself, they had pushed themselves up to stand and began to clean the mess up.

Peeta had watched as she scrubbed the paint from the floor, the hem of her dress rising up to land beneath her panty line.

He would look away ashamed of himself for watching her in such a way but eventually his eyes found her again.

The room had been for most part silent and when all the paint was washed and the room had set to its previous state, they had bided each other a good night.

Peeta lay in his bed, the soft cotton sheets cool on his bare chest. He reached down scraping a spot of paint that he hadn't washed off from his chest.

The room was dark with the only light source coming from the dim lamp beside his bed. He had tried to sleep but every time he closed his eyes he saw her looking back at him.

Her olive skin covered in paint while her dark hair was wild from rolling on the floor.

He had seen a version of Katniss which made him feel free; she had been unguarded and vulnerable.

Peeta pushed his body into the mattress as he was determined to sleep at least for a couple of hours. He closed his eyes ready to relax when the squeaking of the floor boards caused him to sit up abruptly.

Out of reflex, he reached for the night stand where he kept his blade but remembered having to move it.

"You don't have to look for the knife; I promise I won't use it on you again."

Peeta looked over to the open doors," Katniss?"

Peeta straightened his back watching her, a light pink nightgown hung down her body stopping at her ankles. The straps were thin and the fabric lay above her breasts. Most of her dark hair ran down her chest. Peeta could feel his stomach tighten.

He was amazed by how much her beauty grew each time he saw her. Katniss fiddled with the material of the gown, her feet shuffling.

"I know you said to never come into your room because of what happened before but I couldn't think of anywhere else to go."

"What happened, are you ok?"

Katniss nodded," I'm fine. It's just I couldn't sleep and I wanted to know if I could sleep with you. I mean in your bed."

Peeta felt so shocked by the request his mouth half opened before answering her," Katniss, I don't think—"

Katniss walked forward," Please, I just don't want to face the darkness alone anymore."

"What did you say?"

"I don't want to be alone anymore."

Peeta hesitated for a few seconds before he brought the sheets back, holding his other hand out to her, "Come here."

Katniss nodded her thanks before walking to the side of the bed, her knees sinking in before taking his hand. She was shocked when he pulled her into him, her body settling into his as her cheek rested against his chest.

She could feel the warmth from his naked chest seeping into her skin and she had to fight the urge to turn her face into him, kissing the skin there.

Peeta wrapped his arms around her after turning off the lamp. Having her so close was intoxicating. He knew how forbidden it was for many reasons but he couldn't leave her alone even if it was just for the night.

* * *

_The old lead paint chipped off as he scratched the images into the wall, the tip of the knife creating grooves and lines. He stuck his tongue out slightly deep in thought, the muscle between his teeth. He wanted the picture to be perfect for her. _

_She would need something to look at when he wouldn't be able to be with her. His boney knees held most of his weight as the cold floor pressed into his skin there._

_His gangly arm rested at the wall as he looked over to the book she held in her hands._

"_I can't seem to get the tree to look the right way."_

_The dark haired girl leaned to the side trying to get a better look," I think it all looks wonderful."_

_The blonde boy leaned back surveying the wall," But it's not perfect."_

"_It is to me."_

_The boy stopped in mid scratch to look over to her as she closed the book, scooting on her knees to sit in the middle of the small room to admire his work._

"_It's like a dream," her smile was bright as dark curls framed her round face," I have my own story to look at always."_

_The boy turned around setting the knife down," Not always, I won't let them keep you here."_

_The little girl nodded," But even if they do, I'll always have my fairies with me."_

"_And remember what I told you, even if they take the book from you, you can still have the fairies surround you."_

_The girl nodded," I remember everything you tell me. You're my friend."_

_She was amazed by the wall, by how he could create something incredible by just using his imagination and the crude tool of a knife. _

_The boy watched her. She was only ten but he was taken in by how beautiful she was. He swallowed, his throat becoming dry. He had been thinking of something for the past month and he needed to get it off his chest._

"_Can I kiss you?"_

_The girl looked to him curiously," What's that mean?"_

"_It's when someone puts their lips on yours because they like you."_

"_You like me?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I like you too. We're friends."_

"_Is it ok if I kiss you then?"_

"_Do you have to kiss everyone that's your friend?"_

"_No, only the people you really like."_

"_Then yes, you can."_

_The boy crawled over to her, his pulse pounded in his ears, and he hoped she couldn't feel him tremble. It felt like an eternity until his face was next to hers. She watched him closely before he closed his eyes, shortly after she did the same. _

_Her lips were warm and soft against his and the boy felt at home. The kiss was chaste, only lasting a few seconds before he leaned back from her. _

_The girl watched him closely as she began to lie on her side._

"_That was nice."_

_The boy closed the gap between them as he positioned his body behind hers, holding her back to his chest. Her dark hair tickled the bottom of his jaw and he felt comfortable having her so close. He had fallen in love with her before she had spoken to him. _

_At the age of thirteen he had found the girl who made him feel better, who made him feel like he could be more than just street trash._

_The girl's voice was low and barely heard," I'm too afraid to go to sleep. I know when I wake up you'll be gone."_

_The boy shushed her gently," It's alright; just remember I'll be here every night so you won't have to face the darkness alone anymore. I promise I'll always be here, nothing will make me leave you."_

"_Really?"_

"_Really, now go to sleep."_

_The boy held onto her tightly, her arms were so frail from the years of abuse and he wanted nothing more than to protect her for the rest of his life._

Peeta woke in a cold sweat. His chest was heavy with her still clinging to his side. He craned his neck to the side to watch her face; her eyelids were fluttering, signifying she was having a dream.

Peeta tightened his arms around her the way he had done when they were young and afraid of the world.

He wanted nothing more than to go back and undo the mistake he had made by leaving her.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter Four

She could feel the cool breeze on her skin before she opened her eyes. Her fingers twitched slightly, the sensation of warm skin flooded her mind.

The steady motion of his chest rising against her cheek made her feel dizzy with the combination of waking from sleep. Katniss opened her eyes slowly; afraid that she was still dreaming. To have him so close had given her the first restful period of sleep she had experienced in a while.

The early sunlight coming through the window was blinding, causing her to blink. When she could finally see straight, Katniss looked up to the sleeping face above her.

She wasn't sure but she was almost positive that he was even more handsome in the morning. The way the golden light illuminated his dirty blonde hair was stunning. The lines of his strong jaw were even more prominent in this position as she craned her neck to look at him.

Katniss did not move. With her left side being trapped between him and the mattress, she slowly lifted her hand from his bare chest to ever so slightly trace the structure of his jaw.

Her fingers hovered over his lips, the skin there was soft. She imagined what it would be like to kiss him.

Katniss was lost in the thought of being in his bed with him. Not there because she was someone who needed his pity or solace, but there as his equal, as his lover.

She stilled her fingers as the thought threatened to knock her over. Peeta was absolutely not an option for her. They were from completely different worlds, even if he started out the same way she did. He was now part of a world that she could only pretend to understand.

She watched him for a few more seconds before she scooted across the bed. Peeta released a quiet moan as soon as their connection was broken. She waited for him to settle again before she drew the bedding back, her feet fought to untangle from her long nightgown.

She kicked out of the material before being freed, swinging her legs over the side. With her back to him she stood, her feet hitting the floor boards. She straightened her back and the waves of her dark hair flooded down her back.

Katniss looked to the door. The rational part of her mind told her to move, to not look back, but she couldn't fight the urge to see him there one last time. Against her better judgment Katniss turned around. She felt the need to sigh when her eyes fell on his sleeping form.

The sheets had been pushed down to settle above his groin allowing for a prominent portion of skin to show. His muscular torso blended into a tight well built chest, leading to broad shoulders.

Katniss felt the familiar blush rise through her body but at the same time she was met with a warm humming sensation radiating from below her waist.

His bangs fell below his eyes and she wanted nothing more than to crawl onto the bed, brush the hair from his face and kiss the places where the hair once had been.

Katniss rubbed her face harshly before letting out a strangled breath. She needed to leave the room and quickly.

If she stayed within touching distance of him, it would inevitable; she would end up next to him again. Katniss turned on her heels not looking back even though she desperately wanted to.

The doors felt further away than she remembered and her feet faltered as she tripped on the last few steps, the frame of the door bracing her.

Katniss reached for the door knob, turning it sharply before she slipped through the opened door. She released the door after closing it behind her.

The air around her went cold without having him near but she had to remind herself that Peeta Mellark was not hers to have near.

* * *

The soft tickle of hair against his temples caused him to stir. He assumed her dark hair had found its way up to his face. Although when he brushed it away he felt the tug of his own scalp alerting him to the absence of her presence.

Peeta's eyes flew open as he frantically looked beside him to where Katniss should have been. The sheets were pushed down and he could see the slight indentation her body had made.

He was at least pleased that having her near wasn't something he dreamt. His mind then turned to the recurring dream of their kiss and how warm her lips had felt against his. He ached deep down to know if her lips still retained such warmth.

Peeta could feel the empty feeling in his stomach begin to rise. He could still feel the sensation of her hand pressed against his chest, the warmth of her petite body pressed against him.

It had taken all of his will power not to roll over, positioning his body to hover over hers, like he had earlier in the evening when their bodies had been covered in paint.

Peeta reached up, digging the heels of his hands into his closed eyes. He needed to let go of any desire of having her as his own.

Katniss was better off without him or his advances, and she certainly didn't need to remember the boy he had been. After all, if she did, all she would see is the hollow shell of the man left over.

* * *

The crunching of dried leaves underneath her boots contributed to the lyrical symphony started by the birds and whistling wind.

Strands of dark hair had worked themselves out of the braid Hazelle had fashioned with her thick hair.

After she had left Peeta's room earlier that day, Katniss had rushed to her room, wanting to put as much distance between she and his sleeping form as she could manage.

She had sunk to the floor, her knees instantly pulled to her chest, as the material of her night gown became caught underneath her feet.

While she was in the midst of feeling sorry for herself, her eyes fell upon the folded set of clothing Hazelle had brought her.

The thought of having to figure out how another summer dress went on was excruciating, which only made the need to wear a comfortable pair of paints even more appealing. She stood up and walked over to the articles of clothing, dressing quickly.

The night gown found its place on the floor as Katniss slipped on the cotton pants and shirt. She breathed in a sigh of relief. She felt much more like herself now.

After she had buttoned up the shirt, she looked down to see a worn pair of boots beside the dresser. She assumed it was another loan from one of Hazelle's sons.

The boots were snug but more welcoming than the dainty sandals Cinna had left.

After she dressed, Katniss left the room, her dark hair still tangled and wild from sleep. When she reached the banister she couldn't help but glance towards Peeta's room.

She closed her eyes imagining the way his body had looked lying on the mattress with the sheets pulled down his toned body.

Katniss shook her head as she let out a small frustrated scream. It was not one loud enough to alert anyone but just enough to chase away the thought of him.

Her feet couldn't take her down the stairs fast enough. Her legs felt heavy and she needed to work off some of the tension which had already settled.

Before she had cleared the last step, Katniss could smell the fresh pastries wafting through the lower half of the house. Her aching hunger replaced the surge of hormones invading her brain.

Katniss could hear her humming before she stepped into the kitchen. The older woman's hair was once again in its normal braided crown, the maze of hair was easy to see as she leaned over the island situating the berry scones.

Katniss watched her carefully move the warm pastry, her nimble fingers gentle with the item of food.

"Well don't just stand there dear. It's rude not to say hello when you enter a room, plus I enjoy talking to you."

Katniss smiled as she approached the long work table," Really?"

"Of course dear, the conversation has already gone stale over the years with only men in my life. My boys, Peeta, and of course Haymitch, have never been ones for conversing."

"Yeah, Haymitch doesn't seem like a chatty person."

Hazelle looked up laughing softly to herself," Well he never was, even when we were kids. He was always getting into fights. He came close to going into the orphan home himself once; his mother wasn't the most patient woman or much of a mother."

"What changed?"

"We all have people who make us see things differently."

Katniss leaned on the island, her arms crossed," So who was it for Haymitch?"

"She was a lot like you, brave, stubborn, kind and intelligent. She was what kept him from that place that tells us we're not good enough."

"So, where is she now?"

Hazelle shook her head," Oh no, I'm not that much of a gossip. You should ask him yourself."

"You're a tease, Hazelle."

Hazelle laughed as she rounded the island to stand behind Katniss," I suppose so." Her hands ran through the girl's dark hair, "How about we braid this hair and then you can eat a bit."

Katniss nodded as Hazelle began to braid the dark strands. It hadn't taken long for her to fix Katniss' hair and it took an even shorter amount of time for the girl to scarf down about three scones.

She jumped down from the stool when Hazelle asked her to take some of the pastries to Haymitch.

Katniss tried to protest because of how their first interaction had turned out but Hazelle had given her that mom tone, effectively causing Katniss to back down.

She had told Katniss where his small cabin was located on the property. The walk was nice but she had already begun to become impatient while her search was turning up empty.

The cloth containing the scones was warm against her palm and she was tempted to eat at least one because the chance of him being lucid was slim to none.

She had smelled the liquor on his breath. Not too mention, the comments Peeta made sometimes led her to believe that Haymitch had a weakness for alcohol.

She was about to give up her search when she came upon a hill. Once she successfully trekked up to the top, a small structure came into view.

She sighed because she knew now she couldn't turn back and legitimately lie to Hazelle about not finding it.

The walk down the hill was quick. The few yards to the dwelling didn't take long to walk.

Katniss was almost to the steps leading to the porch when a string of loud cursing surrounded the side of the house. She clutched the cloth in her hand before she rounded the cabin.

Sure enough he was hunched over throwing pieces of wood to the side while he yelled at a flock of geese nipping at his toes.

Haymitch swatted at one which was now attempting to push him over," Get back you damn bird, I'm going as fast as I can!"

"What are you doing?"

Haymitch gripped the piece of wood, raising it in the air in defense as he whirled around. Katniss jumped back even though she was well out of reach.

"It's just me, Katniss."

"I know, why do you think I have the wood as a weapon?"

Katniss rolled her eyes," I only hit you once."

"And it hurt like a bitch!"

"You scared me!"

"And you just scared me. I think it's only fair I should get to hit you."

"No!"

Haymitch lowered the wood, shrugging," Doesn't matter anyway, the boy would have walloped me for hurting you."

Katniss laughed to herself," Yeah, I assume handmaidens with bruises are poorly looked upon in the Capitol."

Haymitch rose a brow," You think that's why he would have a problem with me hitting you?"

"Why else?"

Haymitch shook his head before turning back to the pile of wood," And I heard you were smart."

Katniss sighed walking up to where he was throwing the wood into a pattern of organization only he could understand. She pushed the cloth full of pastries towards him.

"Here, Hazelle wanted me to bring these to you."

Haymitch reached out without looking, snatching the cloth from her to stuff it into his pocket. Katniss waited for him to acknowledge her presence before she rolled her eyes turning on her heel to walk away.

"So can you build anything or is your education limited to beating poor old men?"

Katniss tensed as she turned around assuming to see him fuming like she was. The smile on his face took her by surprise.

"I can build some things and I'm fast learner."

Haymitch threw a piece of wood at her. She caught it easily before it came near her face," Let's hope so."

"Don't you have to ask Peeta before you build anything? It is his land right?"

"Technically, yes. But after all these years the boy hasn't tried to stop me so I doubt a damn pen for these geese will piss him off."

Katniss shrugged, "Ok."

It was a struggle to build the pen with the gaggle of geese surrounding them. Katniss knocked one on its side because the bird thought that tugging at her braid was something of entertainment.

She had cursed loudly at the goose which earned a genuine laugh from Haymitch.

She was shocked by how much she actually found the surly man likable.

He had been impressed by how she wasn't afraid to endure physical labor; something he said usually annoyed the hell out of him. He assumed he owed it to Peeta however, for putting up with his presence for so long.

When the pen was finally built, Katniss helped him place the birds inside the wooded perimeter.

"How is it that they stayed around?"

"I started feeding them."

"So they're like your pets. That's cute, you were lonely."

Haymitch snorted, "Lonely my ass, I just thought I could fatten them up and eat them later."

Katniss couldn't help but smile at his attempt to look heartless. She watched him closely, his arms were folded over his chest as he watched the birds with a small grin.

"Hazelle was telling me how you knew each other when you were younger."

"Hazelle talks a lot. But yes, we did. She was friends with my wife."

"You were married?"

Haymitch turned on her, his eyes furious," Yes! Is it so hard to imagine?"

"Actually, yes."

Haymitch laughed which surprised her, "I like you. You don't try to bullshit around." Haymitch watched her before a small smile formed under his stubble," You remind me of her."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she could bust my chops with the best of them. Best person I ever knew. But by being my wife, it put her in danger."

"What was her name?"

"Maysilee."

"I like that name."

Haymitch nodded as he looked back over toward the squawking birds," Yeah, me too."

* * *

She could feel the touch of his hand next to hers at it brushed up against hers. The forest ground was cool even with the sun shining down, the bright rays breaking the shadows around them.

She could hear his breathing beside her; it was steady and rhythmic, much like when he slept.

When he had initially come to her, she was nervous seeing him for the first time after they had slept together.

Even if there hadn't been anything sexual about their time together, it was still difficult to see him after she had been so vulnerable.

He was slowly chipping away at her resolve. She could feel her defenses lower whenever he was near and it frightened her how safe she felt around him.

After she helped Haymitch with the pen for his geese, Katniss made the walk back to the house. She was at the tree line when she decided to lie beneath the trees for a while before heading back.

She assumed she had been there under the shelter of the trees for a while, stirring only when she heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

The warmth from the sun was gone from her face. Katniss opened her eyes to see Peeta standing over her blocking out the sun. She was shocked to see him but more so, she wanted to run and cower from him.

Peeta stood over her smiling. He had been trying to find her when Hazelle told him she sent her to take something to Haymitch. He guessed she had gotten side tracked on the way back.

He didn't have to search very far as his eyes landed on the tree line. There she was. Katniss was overall pretty predictable. He had to hold back a sigh when he saw her laying there, her arms outstretched.

He didn't want to alarm her. He knew how she was easy to startle but he had felt empty when he woke up without her beside him and he yearned to have her beside him again.

Katniss watched him for the longest time before he sighed walking around her feet to lie beside her on the ground. It was odd for her to see him do something so juvenile. She watched as he settled into the dirt, his fingers moving in the soil.

They had been silent for the longest time, with only their breathing and the tender touches of his hand against hers to prove they weren't alone.

Katniss felt at peace beside him. She felt safe sharing a part of herself with him but she questioned whether it was fair to her to feel such things when it came to him.

"I used to come out here all the time and lie on the ground when I first moved here."

His voice cutting through the silence took her off guard. She turned her head to look at him; his face was closer than she would have guessed.

"Really?"

Peeta nodded still looking up," Yeah. It was the only place for the longest time where I felt safe."

Katniss continued to study his face, "Why don't you come out here anymore?"

"I did for awhile but something was different, it changed somehow."

"Maybe you were the one that changed."

Peeta turned his face towards her, their noses almost touching," Maybe." He searched her face, her gray eyes threatening to swallow him whole, "The reason why I came out here was to find you, to tell you that we'll be needed in the Capitol in a couple of days."

Katniss felt her heart drop," So soon?"

"Well not on official business, but the dignitaries like to host this fancy party every year and I think it's a good time to introduce you to society."

"I've heard of the Capitol balls, I just never thought I would be attending one."

"You'll be fine and I'll be there the whole time with you."

"I know, it's just—"

"Katniss, I have faith in you and you should have the same trust in yourself."

"It's not that, it's that I don't know how to dance."

Peeta tried not to laugh in her face but he was panicked she was going to say something more serious.

He threaded his fingers through hers, sitting up, pulling her up with him as he stood. Katniss was confused but she allowed him to pull her to her feet in spite of it.

"I'm going to teach you."

Katniss looked stricken," Here?"

Peeta's brow rose," Why Miss Everdeen, are you too proper to dance in the woods with me?"

Katniss feigned being insulted," Never."

Peeta let a deep laugh escape his lips," Alright then. Now, put your hand on my shoulder and the other one like this," Peeta said as he grabbed her hand in his.

Katniss nodded, doing as he instructed. Having him so close to her was almost suffocating but in a light headed kind of way.

Peeta struggled to control his breathing as he looked down into her eyes. When his pelvis brushed against her waist, he could feel his body shiver.

She followed his guidance even though she would occasionally step on his feet. She felt in sync with him.

Peeta surprised her when he extended his arm to twirl her before bringing her body back to his. She collided with his chest a little to roughly causing her to laugh out loud. She felt almost giddy having him laugh with her. They almost felt normal.

Peeta smiled down at her when they had found their footing again," See? You're already getting the hang of it."

Katniss looked into his blue eyes, her mind racing. She knew she had to be honest with him," I shouldn't have left this morning the way I did."

"It's alright; Hazelle needed you to do something."

"No, Peeta. I mean when I left your bed. I should have at least waited to say goodbye."

"Katniss, you don't owe me any justification."

"I know but I wanted to explain because you didn't have to allow me to share your bed."

Peeta shrugged," What can I say? I've always had a soft spot for pretty girls."

Katniss stilled her feet causing Peeta to almost trip," You shouldn't say those kinds of things to me."

Peeta released his hold on her waist before he untwined his fingers with hers, "You're right. I shouldn't have come here, I know better."

Katniss watched as he turned to walk out of the forest, leaves still clung to his white button up shirt. She wanted to run to him, to apologize for being so blunt, but she knew as much as he did that they had been flirting with danger for awhile.

Katniss knew she had to come to terms with the fact that she and Peeta would never have a relationship where holding each other close was something permitted.

But he already had a hold on her and having him so close to her in a place she saw as solace only deepened the feelings she had had previously.

* * *

_A/N: Another update should be up in a day. And as always, **Review, Review**!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you as always to those who take the time to review. You guys rock!_

Chapter Five

The air in the room was stifling and she could feel the deep ache in her chest spread to the rest of her body. She had spent most of the night leaning up against the closed door with only short boughts of rest.

After Peeta had left her in the forest, Katniss had laid back down on the ground, the soil cool to the touch as warm tears slid down the sides of her face to land in the dirt. She felt a connection between them when he allowed her to see a glimpse of the boy he hid away.

Katniss had wanted to tell him how much she had been waiting for him to be honest with her. She thought she knew that piece of him from when they had covered each other in paint, but having his body pressed to hers as he taught her to dance amongst the trees, was something much more. Instead of worrying about his honesty, she was concerned with her own grief over something she could never have, her face streaked with dirt and tears.

She hadn't entered the house until late, purposefully waiting until she knew Hazelle would have left for her own home.

She had wanted to go to him, to lie in his bed with him, to lose herself in the touch of his warm body. But she knew it wasn't fair to either of them to be intimate even in the most innocent of ways. With a sigh she pushed herself off of the floor using the door as leverage, her bare feet sliding against the floor boards as the cracks scraped her skin.

When she was finally erect, Katniss looked down to her clothing; she still had the outfit that Hazelle had given her on. She tried to smooth out the wrinkles but the task was beginning to seem fruitless. Sighing in defeat, she turned to the door, opening it quietly. She didn't want to disturb Peeta if he had fallen asleep. She doubted that _he_ had been up the entire night mulling over every detail of what had happened between them.

Stepping through, she pulled the door closed, her hands still on the knob while she faced forward. When she heard the click, signifying the door as closed; Katniss released the door knob, turning towards the stairs. She was halfway there when the doors to Peeta's bedroom opened. Her entire body froze and she couldn't help the sudden anxiety she felt, or the overwhelming concern she had over her appearance.

Peeta had been walking with his head down but he froze as soon as he spotted her bare feet. Everything began to move in slow motion as his eyes traveled up her body to eventually stop at her eyes. Her dark hair had for the most part escaped from the braid lying down her back. Her soft wispy curls framed her face and Peeta found himself involuntarily gulping.

He had stayed up most of the night pacing the floor between his bed and the door. A few times he actually made it, his hand hovering over the door knob, but quickly he would draw his hand back and rush back over to his bed.

She was driving him mad, utterly insane with just being in the same space as him. He wasn't positive how long he would be able to last before he threw all reservations out and brought her body to his.

Peeta had become lost in his own thoughts until he heard her clearing her throat loudly.

"Good morning."

Peeta forced a smile," Morning. How did you sleep?"

Katniss felt light headed from the lack of sleep and his presence," Good? And you?"

"Good."

Katniss nodded. She forced her feet to move which proved to be especially difficult when her legs felt heavy and unstable.

When she made it to the banister, she was surprised that he had walked the few feet there to meet her.

Katniss reached out gripping the railing, her knuckles beginning to lose all of their color. She nearly jumped back when his warm hand covered hers. Katniss could feel her body already beginning to shake.

Peeta stepped into her, his body dangerously close to hers and she could feel his breath moving the stray hair around her face. With the close proximity, Peeta was able to increase the pressure, as he gently squeezed her hand.

"I lied. I didn't sleep well. I spent most of the night pacing the floor."

"Why?"

"Because having you in my bed, having you lie against me, has been one of the rare instances I've ever felt at peace and I wanted it back."

Katniss breathed in deeply trying to gain her strength before she turned her head to look into his blue eyes," I slept up against the door," she sighed.

As she searched his face, his blond bangs fell into his face covering most of his eyes. Katniss reached up with her free hand moving the strands, trapping them temporarily behind his ear. "I missed being able to sleep next to you too."

Katniss kept her hand against his face as her fingers curled next to his skin. Her nails gently brushed the stubble that formed at his jaw line. Peeta leaned into her touch and Katniss could feel her heart tighten.

Peeta's voice came out quiet," What we're doing, it's dangerous."

Katniss nodded," I know. We're being incredibly stupid."

Peeta could feel himself being swallowed up in her gray eyes," Yes, we are."

Peeta could feel himself leaning forward, his breathing catching in his throat. He felt the movement of her body and all he could feel was longing.

They were inches from each other when the creaking of a floor board at the end of the stairs alerted them to a visitor, causing the both of them to jump apart. Katniss balled her hand in a fist; she could still feel the warmth from his skin.

Katniss looked down at her feet sheepishly as Peeta crossed his arms trying to look casual. Neither one attempted to look at the other. Hazelle came into view at the bottom of the stairs. By the look on her face, Peeta assumed she hadn't seen them, at least one thing that had gone right.

"Oh good, you're both already up. That ludicrous prep team of yours is on their way to prepare the both of you for the Capitol Ball tonight. Lord knows why it takes all day to get ready for a blasted party, but who I am to judge? I'm only a lonely district born."

Peeta sighed at her sarcasm but was thankful to have something to distract him from having Katniss still too close," Hazelle, does it always have to be this way with you and Capitol people."

Hazelle wrinkled her brow as though she was in deep thought before her eyes were wide again," Yes!"

Peeta leaned his head back as he exhaled a heavy exasperated breath," Seriously every time they set foot in the district, it has to become this huge thing."

"Do not try to minimize my feelings that way. I have every right to be annoyed by those narcissistic weirdoes."

Peeta began to walk down the steps to meet Hazelle at the bottom," Maybe they think the same thing about you? Shouldn't you try to be tolerable?"

Hazelle pointed her finger at him, as he settled at the last step," Do not lecture me on tolerance. I have raised four boys and if we're to be utterly honest, you gave me more trouble than any of my other boys."

Peeta shook his head as he walked past her," There's no way I was worse than Gale."

Hazelle gave a glance to Katniss at the top of the stairs before she turned to follow Peeta into the kitchen," Oh, so it wasn't your idea to push each other down the hill in barrels?"

"Absolutely not, it was Gale's idea."

Katniss could hear their laughing until it faded out leaving her alone leaning against the banister. The feel of Peeta's skin against hers becoming just a memory.

* * *

After the prep team arrived, she and Peeta were separated into their respected rooms. She was pushed through the door by one of the insistent technicians and Katniss found it difficult to differentiate between the two females based upon how many times each one changed their appearance.

Katniss snuck a glance at Peeta's retreating form. To her dismay he had already been watching her and she felt foolish for being caught.

The embarrassment soon began to dissipate as they formed another connection, each watching the other as the prep team squabbled.

Soon Cinna came up the stairs to assign the scheduled time line for their preparation. The woman with the tattooed breasts grabbed Katniss forcefully by the arm, pulling her forward until the image of Peeta was gone. She was ordered to stand in the middle of the room.

After a few minutes Cinna entered the room, his hand at his jaw as he studied her, circling her form. Katniss stood there frozen.

Having him watch her so closely was making her uncomfortable, when suddenly he slapped his hands together. She jumped a bit at the loud crack.

"I have the perfect gown for you to wear."

"Gown? Shouldn't I wear a dress?"

Cinna laughed softly as the woman snickered, a sound made more out of malice than anything else, "Katniss, a gown is a dress."

Katniss felt foolish," Oh," she looked over to the woman who looked at her with pity. Katniss stuck out her tongue in response.

Cinna chuckled at her gesture," Peeta was right. You are a spitfire."

Katniss turned to him as he hung up a garment bag, "He said that? Does he say anything else… about me?"

Cinna turned to her, watching her face closely before answering," Yes. In fact, it's how I came up with your dress for tonight."

"It is?"

"Yes."

Cinna unzipped the bag, while his other hand reached in, pulling the fabric free. Deep green fabric fell loose covering the floor boards. The silk fabric rushed around Cinna's finger's like water. Katniss couldn't hold back the contented sigh escaping her throat.

Throwing the bag to the floor as soon as the dress was free, Cinna walked over to her. He held the dress to her body as he stood in front of her, the floor length mirror reflecting her image back at her.

The neckline dipped down low enough to show some cleavage but not enough that she would have to be careful about bending over. Clean hands formed the gown as it traveled down to her bare feet.

"You're going to look incredible."

"Thanks to you."

Cinna shook his head," No. I can dress up something up but if it's ugly to begin with there's nothing clothes can do. You only have what you bring naturally… and you my dear are a beautiful young woman."

Katniss looked to his reflection, tears filling her eyes," Thank you."

Cinna stepped away from her as he situated the gown on the bed. He waved his hand to the woman instructing her to begin. The woman forcefully began to unbutton Katniss' shirt, before she slapped her hand away.

"I can undress myself, thank you. I don't need your help to put the gown on."

Cinna shook his head," Katniss, there's so much work to be done before we even begin to dress you."

Katniss looked frightened," Please don't make me do it." Katniss searched the room for an exit," Do I really have to wax every time? Have some mercy!"

* * *

Peeta stood at the bottom of the railing, his hands inside of his pockets, as he nervously waited for her to ascend the stairs.

He resumed pacing the space in front of the stairs as his anxiety increased. This would be the first extended period of time since the train ride to twelve that he and Katniss would be alone.

He would no longer be able to hide her from the Capitol because tonight she would be presented to society as a lady, with everything riding on her ability to succeed.

It would be accurate to conclude that most of his financial standing, if not all, comes from the Capitol, but even worse was the fact that if she failed, Katniss would be executed or worse.

But if he was being honest with himself, Peeta would have to admit that what troubled him most was the fact that Katniss would be eligible for courting after tonight.

This meant if she caught the attention of any eligible bachelor, he would be able to call upon her, ultimately ending in an engagement and then marriage. And having to broker a marriage for the woman he loves would tear his heart out. Even the assumption of doing so made him ache.

Peeta stopped his pacing to smooth his formal wear. The clean lines of the black jacket emphasized his broad shoulders. He had fought against the prep team when they had wanted to style his hair back, ultimately trapping his bangs in product.

Peeta refused, the memory of Katniss sweeping the hair behind his ears was permanently at the front of his mind. The off chance of her reaching towards his face was worth having to deal with the aggravation of having hair block his view.

Peeta was deep in thought when the sound of someone clearing their throat alerted him. He spun around immediately. He couldn't help the disappointment running down his body when Cinna's form came into view.

"She's almost ready; we're just adding a few more touches."

Peeta nodded as he pulled his hands free of his pockets to cross his arms over his chest," I heard some screaming before."

Cinna furrowed his brow before a smile curled at his lips," Oh, yes of course…waxing."

"Now the screaming has context. I'm incredibly grateful for being a man."

Cinna narrowed his eyes, studying Peeta," Why are you babbling? I haven't heard you babble since you were fifteen. You're only like this when you're really nervous."

"I have a lot riding on her performance tonight. I can only pray that she doesn't let us all down."

Peeta straightened his back as he held his ground. He hoped that Cinna couldn't see through his lie because if he couldn't fool him, there was a chance that the wrong person would see the effect she has on him.

Cinna entertained the idea of pressing the issue but instead decided to cease, "Alright, very well.

Peeta felt defensive under Cinna's watch but he came to the realization that seeming emotional over the issue would give rise to more suspicion.

Cinna stepped down from the stairs to stand beside Peeta when the opening of the bedroom door upstairs was heard. Peeta could hear her footsteps coming down the stairs, the heels of her dress shoes connected with the wooden boards.

His entire body tensed as dark green satin came into view. Peeta was almost terrified to look up further. He wasn't sure how her appearance would affect him.

After all she drove him mad when she was covered in dirt from the forest. He hated to think how seeing her now would affect his sanity.

Peeta kept his head down until he could hear Hazelle's sharp intake of breath. She must have emerged from the kitchen where she had been hiding from the prep team.

Peeta raised his head, working slowly up her body. The material of the dress clung to her curves and Peeta could not stop himself from gulping when her hips came into view.

His eyes traveled up the rest of her body. He tried to stop the blush forming at his cheeks when the low dip of the neckline caught his eye. The dark green made her olive skin glow, and her dark hair was in full lose curls hanging down her back.

They had applied smoky silver eyeliner around her gray eyes which only made them even more stunning.

Peeta had to remind himself to breathe when she stepped onto the last step. He could hear murmuring from everyone around him but all he could concentrate on was the gorgeous young woman before him.

Katniss' entire body had begun shaking when she set foot on the stairs but she wasn't aware of how nervous she was until she saw Peeta. He was dressed in a fancier version of what he'd been wearing when she first met him.

The dark color and clean lines set off his broad shoulders. But one obvious difference was the way his hair fell casually against his eyes. The blonde strands setting off his startling blue eyes made her stomach fall.

The memory from this morning of her pushing his hair so it caught behind his ear, and more importantly, the feeling she had when she allowed her hand to linger against his skin, coming forward.

Katniss watched him closely as she desended the stairs, she could feel the blush rising up her bare skin. The silk fabric clung to her body which only made her feel more self conscious.

When she reached the last step she waited for him to respond but he only watched her as everyone else commented on her appearance.

Peeta swallowed hard before he opened his mouth to speak," It's—"

Katniss cracked a small smile before nodding," An improvement," she sighed her shoulders falling slightly," I know."

Peeta shook his head, causing his bangs to hang in his eyes. "No, it's not." He watched her face fall," I mean that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say, it's incredible how beautiful you look, how beautiful you are, always."

Katniss looked up quickly, shocked by his omission," Thank you."

Peeta nodded before stepping forward. He slowly extended his hand waiting for her to take it. Her hand grasped his and Peeta could feel the blush moving down the rest of his body from the contact of her skin.

* * *

The massive golden doors vibrated from the sound within the banquet hall. Rich tapestries hung from the walls, the emblem of Panem stitched onto anything possible.

Katniss could feel her body tremble, she felt out of her element, and when she felt frightened she had a tendency to become defensive.

She aware of how she would have to curve that reflex however in that moment, standing in the heavily decorated hallway next to Peeta, she had doubts of her ability to do so.

After she had taken his hand everything became almost surreal for her. They soon faded into an uncomfortable silence.

The train ride to the Capitol wasn't any better. She could sense Peeta distancing himself, much like he had when she first arrived in twelve.

The only time he actually spoke to her was to address the things she would need to know and to tell her how her attitude should reflect according to that of a lady.

Peeta glanced over to her, his bangs falling around his eyes. Out habit he brushed the hair back behind his ears.

He could see she was psyching herself out. He needed her to be focused because if anyone sensed her hesitation she would be seen as weak and unworthy of their time.

Peeta knew he had to get her focused. He needed her to be determined and the surest way to have Katniss persevere was to upset her. He needed to ignite the fire she had inside of her even if it meant she would be angry with him.

"Now, remember what I said about addressing me, you call me-"

"Companion Mellark, not Peeta, I know."

"And when we enter a room-"

"I stay at least three steps behind you and I don't engage anyone in conversation before they approach me first."

Peeta watched her stare at the door," Do you think you can do this?"

Katniss looked to him quickly, her dark curls rushing down her bare back," Is that a trick question?"

Peeta ignored her quip," Are you confident in your ability to do this?"

"Don't you think that would have been an important topic to bring up before we came all this way?"

"If you don't think you can do this than we shouldn't enter that room at all."

"I know I can."

"Good because if you can't handle it now, there's no reason for you to go in there at all."

"Why are you being like this?"

Peeta looked away from her as he straightened his posture," Like what?"

"Not like yourself."

Peeta could feel the guilt rising up through him but soon it turned to fury," There are things you will need to come to terms with Katniss," he turned on her and he could feel his own body shake. "We're not in twelve anymore. We're not going to be having childish paint fights or lay in the dirt. To be in this world you have to put aside a piece of yourself. I can't be Peeta here."

"Have you ever thought that maybe they're not the ones who think you should change? That it's just you."

Peeta adverted his eyes," Now, you're just being naive."

"Maybe, or perhaps I can just see through all of your bullshit, and it pisses you off."

Peeta wanted to tell her that she was right about him, that she could see the person he buried so long ago deep down.

But he knew that confiding in her wasn't fair. She couldn't afford to be involved with him. Peeta came to realize that the best way to love her was to have her hate him.

Peeta looked down to the side," Make sure you keep up. I won't have you falling by the way side."

Katniss watched him for the longest time, until he stepped forward pushing the doors open. The flood of music and perfume nearly knocked her down. Peeta stopped a few feet into the room waiting for her to follow.

Katniss took in a deep breath before following him. She could feel her hands sweating.

She only hoped she could survive tonight the way she had all those years living beneath the city: with grace and wit, but most of all with faith in herself.

* * *

The banquet hall had become warm with all of the bodies filling it. The temperature didn't help to calm her anxieties, those of which had only increased since she entered the room with Peeta.

She had been frozen in place until Peeta had laid his hand at the small of her back urging her forward. Her legs felt heavy and she could feel her feet shake in the dainty heels Cinna made her wear. She had argued that her boots were a much more sensible option.

Sadly he had won out and now she had to learn to walk in three inch heels which retrained her legs like a fawn. Peeta led her to the thick of the crowd, most conversations falling silent as they passed. The gossip and snickering resumed once they were out of immediate earshot.

The warmth from his palm was sending shivers up her body and the familiar tingling from before was settling in her stomach only to travel down below. She mentally scolded herself for becoming aroused with the intensity of the situation.

Her hands were becoming idle and she needed something to distract herself from the onlookers and Peeta's proximity. A man with a pressed uniform came walking up, working the crowd as he held a serving tray of clear glasses filled with a rich purple liquid.

Peeta was politely nodding greetings to those around him, his hand still at her back, as Katniss inquired how his display was being interpreted by the other attendees.

When the server had made it close to her, Katniss reached out for a glass. Her fingers were almost to the stem of the glass when Peeta's warm hand left her back to wrap around her wrist.

Startled she looked up to him, her eyes questioning his actions, as her fingers curled into her palm.

"You don't want to drink that."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think vomiting was on your agenda for tonight."

Katniss' eyes widened in disgust, "It makes you puke? Why would anyone want to drink something like that?"

"So you can eat more."

Katniss drew her hand back as Peeta waved the server on, "That's horrible! I remember starving to death and yet these people indulge on all this rich food and then empty their stomachs and entertain the entire process all over again?"

Peeta leaned down to her ear, his fingers releasing her wrist," It's the Capitol and it would be helpful to you if you remembered that. These people are not concerned with humanity as a whole. They thrive off of their own wants and pleasures. As appalling as it is, you have to learn to control your emotions. While I hate to admit it, they're the only reason you and I survive. Without their debauchery, I don't have a job."

"And we don't eat, ironic."

Peeta stood up, his broad shoulders prominent, "Well that's life."

"And the Capitol is still dictating how I live."

"That won't ever change." Peeta took her hand leading her towards the middle of the room where others were dancing," but you can have some control over how you work within the system."

Katniss became anxious once she realized his intentions," Oh no, I can't dance remember?"

"Of course you can. It's all about the rhythm of the music translating to your body."

"What if the interpretation is muddled or nonexistent?"

Peeta laughed lightly," I doubt that. I've seen you in those sun dresses remember? And the dress you have on now is no exception."

"Are you paying me an actual compliment, Companion Mellark?"

Peeta extended his arms. He turned her in a wide spin until she almost collided with his body. He clutched her hand while hers landed at his shoulder.

The feel of his hand at her hip while the silk fabric bunched slightly was only increasing the heat below her waist.

Peeta's voice interrupted her flood of hormones," Besides, this is the best way to show you off to the room as well as future suitors."

Katniss nodded as she tried to hide her disappointment," So dancing with me is all a part of the plan to marry me off?"

"Katniss that was always the plan and it seems to be working. Most of the room's eyes are on you."

Katniss watched as he looked onto the crowd but not at her," But not all," she said halfheartedly.

Peeta seemed to be in his own mind, his attention drawing back to her," What was that?"

Katniss shook her head, dark curls falling around her face," Nothing."

Peeta was unaware of her disappointment. "So, when suitors are interested in courting you, they have to go through the proper channels. They contact me and then a series of outings are done. If the male party is willing, the companion brokers the engagement."

"It all sounds very professional and business like. Whatever happened to love and passion?"

"Life isn't like your fairy tales, Katniss. Love is messy and destructive. It's not worth the pain."

"Maybe life should be like the books. There's a reason we still have faith in love even if life tells us otherwise."

"Love isn't worth holding out for. The best you can hope for is to find someone who is kind."

"What about you? Do you think you'll ever fall in love?"

Peeta tried to hide the anxiety surging through his body, his hand tightened at her waist," No." Everything inside him began to seize," It's not an option for me. Companions are not permitted to take on personal mates. If they do, the other party is imprisoned or worse. Getting sexual favors on the side isn't worth the hassle."

"I wasn't talking about sex, I meant love."

Peeta's voice hardened and he hoped she couldn't see him panic, "And I said no."

Katniss turned her face from him to watch the crowd, "Fine."

Peeta held onto her tightly until the music ceased temporarily and started again. When he broke the contact he had to stop the defeated sigh from escaping his lips.

He wished they could be normal, be free to be together, but Peeta knew he had made his choice and he had to live with the life he chose.

Katniss moved her long hair to her back, the flood of curls tempting him. He wanted to reach behind her and run his fingers through the dark strands.

She moved slightly to let her arms hang free, causing the green material to move revealing a little more cleavage.

Peeta felt his throat tighten at the sight of her. He needed to distance himself.

"There are some people I need to speak to. Why don't you go find something to drink and try to look available for conversation?"

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"The opposite of what you would normally do."

"You know it's admirable how you can compliment me and then go directly into an insult."

Peeta began to respond before she turned to walk to the opposite side of the ballroom. The crowd of people split to allow enough space for her to walk through.

Most of the gawkers had gone on to their own insignificant affairs though there were still some who looked to Katniss as the subject of their conversations and pity.

She kept her head high as she passed through the crowd of people to end up at the back wall. Peeta watched her for a few seconds before he felt a light tapping on his shoulder.

He spun around to meet the smirking face of his only friend.

"Companion Odair."

"Peeta."

"Why do you always do that? You know the rules. We can't go by anything but our station and surname, at least in public."

Finnick smoothed his golden hair back," Always the one for propriety."

"And why is it that I being the lonely, barbaric district born have a better sense of propriety than you, the Capitol born companion? You were raised with it all. This should be second nature to you, especially with all the noble blood rushing through your veins."

"Maybe because I know the hypocrisy of it all, that's all it is. Something to disguise something tarnished with pretty paint."

Peeta walked passed him to exit the middle of the dance floor," Were you always this cynical before?"

Finnick shook his head following the other man," How would you know? You're comfortable with ignoring it all and pretending it all makes sense."

Peeta stopped walking when the crowd of people had thinned," No, I just know my place."

"Do you? Then what possessed you to take in the girl?"

"She needed help."

Finnick scoffed, "Try fooling someone else with that crap, someone who doesn't know you as well as I do. There are plenty of people who aren't favored by the Capitol, who suffer everyday, and you never took any action before."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I was watching you two dance and—"

"So was everyone else here. They look at her like she's a carnival act."

"No, I meant I saw how you were with her."

Peeta straightened his back. Even with his height, Finnick still towered over him," And how is that?"

"Like she's something more than an employee."

"You're one to talk, a companion with a personal mate."

Finnick leaned down, not wanting their conversation heard," Annie and I were together before I took on the title of companion, she knew me before. It isn't the same thing as getting involved with a girl after you've become a companion."

"I knew her before."

"What, how?"

"From the orphanage. She doesn't remember."

Peeta searched over the crowd to find her surrounded by a group of young men. He could already feel his envy rising up. Finnick watched him closely before he exhaled.

"It's worse than I thought."

Peeta turned to his friend roughly," What?"

"I had hoped it was just a fascination but you love her don't you?"

"I—"

"It's not fair Peeta. You've made your decision. You can't expect her to suffer and you know that's what will happen to her if Snow or the Capitol find out."

"You're one of the few friends I have Finnick, but I have to say, I find it interesting that you warn me not to do something which you are currently in the middle of."

"I know. I'm a bastard for bringing the woman I love into my own mess. You have to consider though, I didn't choose this life Peeta, you did. I was conceived and brought up to be a companion, you made the decision to do so willingly."

"Don't worry Finnick. I'm not foolish enough to become involved with her."

Finnick shook his head," I'm sorry to tell you this my friend, but you already are."

Peeta couldn't deny what he was saying was the truth but he knew he could never act on it. To do so could end up harming Katniss.

* * *

The walls of the room felt closer than they should. Her anxiety was climbing and the space she had to breathe, literally and hypothetically, had begun to lessen as the walls continued closing in.

After Peeta had sent her away like an underling she had found a quiet pace to stand on her own, allowing her to collect her thoughts.

Everything was overwhelming, from the atmosphere of massive golden architecture, to drunken squabbling Capitol borns who as the night went on were less inclined to be anything but overt about their opinions of her.

Katniss felt like screaming as she ran for the nearest exit. She was out of her element and she cursed Peeta for leaving her alone when he had promised they were in this together.

However her time to fume was short lived when half a dozen young Capitol suitors began to flock around her like pruning birds.

The men all began to talk at once assuming she could separate one vain voice from the next as it all melted into a vacuous reverie.

Katniss could see the other hand maidens narrowing their eyes at her, despising the filthy district born for taking the attention they well deserved.

Katniss wasn't fooled. She knew why they were so interested in her and it wasn't because of her pedigree or what she could bring as a lady in society. She was the newest attraction in the freak show known as the Capitol.

Having her in court was something new that the bored lords could fight over until she too became tarnished and used up.

She nodded politely at their empty compliments as she tried to ignore their roaming eyes navigating up and down her body.

Katniss felt even more uncomfortable in the sleek dress, her bare skin had already begun to goose

bump.

She was tempted to ask for one of the suitors jackets to cover up but she knew it would be misinterpreted as an invitation.

Katniss could see him talking to another man at the far side of the banquet hall. She assumed he was another companion by how he carried himself and she had to admit that he was handsome.

Even though she admired this man's beauty, she still felt that familiar tickle when her eyes landed on Peeta's broad shoulders.

He was sneaking glances back at her. She tried to seem indifferent but he appeared upset and she hoped it wasn't something she had done.

She was busy studying his behavior for any emotional cue when she felt a sweaty hand on her bare arm.

Katniss' skin had already begun to crawl when she looked over to her side where the hand was placed. A tall muscular blonde boy smirks down at her as he begins to move his fingers up and down her arm.

Katniss can feel her stomach begin to knot as the feel of his skin on hers triggers her vomit reflux. Katniss stole a glance around the circle of suitors to only find scared spineless little boys instead.

She sighed. These were the men who were supposed to be the epitome of class and strength, at least according to the Capitol, and they couldn't even honor a ladies grace.

It was interesting to her how even though the conditions of the orphanage were savage, when there would be the occasional boy trying to harm one of the girls, most of the other male inhabitants would see to it that that boy would have an "accident".

It was never mortal, but it would be cause enough for him to remember his manners the next time around.

Therefore, the irony was that even though district borns were unwashed, they had a better sense of honor than the lords of the Capitol.

"Can I help you, Lord?"

The muscular young man leered down at her," Lord Cato, and yes I'm sure you and I can come to some sort of arrangement."

Katniss pressed her lips together as she jerked her arm away from his touch. "Well, I'm assuming that you are more than aware of the proper channels to go through if you are interested in courting."

Cato leaned down to her ear, his reeking breath moving the strands of curls there," Oh, I'm sure you and I can become familiar with each other without having to go through all of the hassle of propriety."

"Well, if I may be so blunt in saying, but I think a little propriety may be just what you need Lord."

He stood up quickly, angry," I would think that a piece of street trash as yourself wouldn't be so concerned with propriety," he reached out grabbing her arm tightly," besides I've had my fair share of district borns before and all of you are the same as the capitol girls with titles. Your legs open exactly the same way."

Katniss could feel her fury begin to rise and all the preparing she had done with Peeta, wasn't strong enough to overpower her instincts for self preservation.

She reached for Cato's wrist with her free side, gripping it tight, before twisting her body and his in the process. Her thumb was at the back of his hand while her fingers pressed into the vein located beneath the heel of his hand.

She had totally control over his body as she wrenched his arm to his back. Cato screamed out in pain as his knees hit the ground. Katniss held on tight as she bent down, tugging at his wrist with all of her strength.

"That's something else district borns can do, so next time you feel the urge to assault a woman, you may want to think back to this moment and keep your hands to yourself!"

Katniss threw him to the ground. He landed face first, the echo of his skin hitting the polished floor vibrated through the now silent room.

Katniss stood up watching all of the eyes on her. It wasn't until she saw Peeta walking towards her that she felt the gravity of the situation.

All of the other suitors had walked away and she was left standing next to the whimpering body of Lord Cato as he held his wrist.

Peeta was next to her in a matter of seconds, taking her arm in his and leading her to the balcony.

* * *

"Are you mad?"

Peeta had dragged her out to the balcony. At first he stood there quietly, his rage boiling over. Katniss could see how tense his shoulders were as she tried to prepare herself for the onslaught of his disappointment. But she had never assumed how angry she would be over his outburst.

"Do not shout at me! I am not crazy for defending myself against that letch!"

Peeta turned on her, his blue eyes bright," Do you have any idea who his family is? They own most of the jewel minds in district one."

"He's an entitled pervert!"

Peeta threw his hands up," It's the Capitol, they're all entitled perverts!"

Katniss advanced on him, her own anger was surging and she wasn't going to back down," I know his type and he wasn't interested in courting. He only wanted to use me for self gratification."

"Even if that were so, he could have been a beneficial prospect."

"He's not, nor would he ever be. I've been in cages my whole life, the orphanage, the sewer. For the first time people see me and being married to a monster like that would only be another way of being invisible. I will not be in another prison."

"What if he decided to have to you arrested?"

"Well, if he does, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"I told you to watch your temper!"

Katniss walked up to him, closing the gap between their bodies," I will not be taken advantage of. I have few things I've been able to hold onto through my life and my self respect is one of them. I will be damned if I let a piece of trash like that take it from me because I'm too concerned with landing a husband," Katniss looked up into his eyes," and you should be ashamed of yourself for not wanting me to protect myself in the first place."

"I'm trying to protect you."

"No, you're asking me give up a part of myself, like you do."

"You can't be yourself here."

"Maybe that's what helps you through it all but I can't allow these people to change me."

"But they will and there's nothing you can do about it."

Katniss shook her head," No, that's what you tell yourself so you can go on living. You've made yourself believe you never had a choice, but you did, you still do."

Peeta shook his own head, his blonde bangs blowing in the cool night air, "No Katniss, you're the one who's wrong."

Katniss watched him turn to walk back into the ballroom, his retreating back disappearing through the golden doors. He felt so far away from her and she wondered if she knew him at all.

* * *

The cool air blew her dark curls around her face. She was thankful for the freedom to cry as the tears were masked by the dark strands.

After Peeta had left her standing alone outside, her heart had begun to break. More than feeling grief, she was angry with herself for being so gullible to believe he was that kind boy who she had seen a glimpse of back in twelve.

She struggled to catch her breath between the gasps and sobs barely noticing the balcony doors closing. She jumped forward a few inches, her hands gripping the marble of the ledge.

Katniss observed his lean body, nicely clothed in a pressed tux. The lines were so clean that it was clear to her he came from money. She had to admit that he was handsome, auburn hair set off his bright green eyes, his bone structure strong and inviting.

He smiled at her politely as he approached her.

"Please excuse my intrusion, I didn't mean to frighten you. I only wanted to thank you for making an all together dreadfully boring night entertaining."

Katniss turned to him while still leaving one of her hands griping the stone," I suppose I should thank you for your gratitude but it may be in poor taste to take credit for something so brash."

"Not at all and to be honest it was refreshing to find a young woman who was more concerned with self respect than her dowry or landing a mate. You shouldn't worry about Cato. I doubt he'll have you punished. I would wager he doesn't want people to know how he was bested by a petite pretty young woman."

"I hope so."

"And for the rest of the room, most of us have waited for ever for him to get his come upping. He's been using the handmaidens as his personal harem for years. It's good for him to be taught a lesson."

"Well then to be forward, I'm pleased I was the one to further his education."

The red headed man laughed and Katniss felt less tense, "And you're funny and intelligent. It's quite a rare combination in a woman of your beauty, if it's alright for me to say so?"

"Thank you Lord—"

"Darius, Lord Darius."

"Thank you Lord Darius."

Darius stepped towards her," Again, please excuse my forwardness but would it be possible if I called upon your companion."

"Please excuse my ignorance but why would you need my permission to talk to Companion Mellark?"

Darius ducked his head, a sweet smile curling at his lips, "It's protocol to go through the proper channels when requesting to court a lady. One must coordinate with the lady's companion."

"Oh, you want to court me? You do know I'm a district born don't you?"

Darius looked up, nodding," I don't see a district born. I see a fascinating, beautiful young woman who I would like to know better."

"If I'm correct in thinking so, you do not need to have my permission to call upon me?"

"Technically no, I don't need your permission. However, between you and I, I wouldn't want to go against the wishes of a woman who could rough me up just by twisting my wrist."

Katniss couldn't help but laugh as Darius joined in. She felt almost light in his presence. Perhaps being courted by a man who was as kind as he seemed wouldn't be as dreadful as she thought.

* * *

_A/N: **Review!** It makes this nutty author happy._


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry for the massive delay in an update for this story. I've just been busy with writing an original novel, but I promise that **"The Companion"** will be finished soon. Also, thank you so much to those of you who take the time out to review, it means a lot to me._

_I also want to thank my best friend Liz for Beta-ing for me._

Chapter Six

The tension in the house was unrelenting, being infectious enough to effect anyone misfortunate to be caught within their vicinity. Katniss felt on edge every second he was near, her sanity was close to unraveling. Peeta refused to acknowledge her presence and on the off chance he paid her any mind he was cold or worse indifferent.

Any of the progress that had been made in their relationship had vanished during the Capitol Ball. The train ride back to the district was made in an uncomfortable silence, Peeta intentionally kept his distance from her. Katniss felt rejected and cast aside by someone she had begun to trust, Peeta already had a piece of her and she felt the rage and shame of allowing him to be close.

After the agonizingly slow walk back to the manor, Peeta waited at the top of the steps until Katniss had made it to the door. She turned to watch him staring at her, the neck line of the dress had fell due to her poor posture, and she felt self conscious under his gaze.

She was tempted to readjust the fabric but she was afraid to move when he watched her so closely. The light from the moon shined onto his blond hair, as it cast the shadows from half of his face, his blue eyes serious and aloof. Peeta opened his mouth to speak but closed it shortly after.

Katniss felt her frustration rise to an all time high, which was significant due to the events of the night.

"Say something! Scream at me, tell me how immature and careless I was! Do something!"

Peeta took a deep breath, as he watched her pleading with him," Goodnight, Katniss."

Katniss' followed his body as he walked towards her reaching the door. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing emerged as Peeta laid his hand on the door frame the other tightening around the knob.

"I can't give you what you want right now, Katniss," Peeta turned his head slightly, his profile prominent in the moon lit night," I can't even look at you without feeling frustrated, and when it comes to you I-"

Katniss stepped into his space, the dress catching underneath her heels," You what?"

"I don't know what to do with you."

Katniss began to seethe as she balled the silk fabric in her already clammy hands," I'm not something that you can just push away, Peeta! I'm more than that."

Peeta slowly released both of his hands from the door to turn to her fully. Even on the dimly lit porch, she could see the unshed tears building in his blue eyes.

The light from the moon reflected off of the salty water, and Katniss didn't know if her gasp came from how broken he appeared or by how incredibly beautiful he could be.

"That's the problem, Katniss."

Katniss' jaw locked as she gritted her teeth, straining to keep her emotions back," I'm sorry that I'm not up to your standards!"

Peeta watched her closely before he shook his head," You didn't hear anything I just said. You just made it into what you wanted to hear."

Katniss could feel her body shake from the frustration," Well then please, enlighten me."

"You think I'm disappointed in you. That you let me down somehow."

Katniss could feel her face heat up, angry by how cool and reserved he seemed. She felt the fury coursing through her body, and he didn't have enough respect for her to even yell, or to show any kind of emotion.

She was nothing more than something to entertain his days with; as he confused her into thinking they shared some sort of connection.

"Well didn't I? Don't I?"

Peeta shook his head, allowing a stray tear to make its way down his face," You don't understand anything," he reached in between their bodies to grip the door knob, "especially me".

His statement struck her head on, the panic she felt caught her by surprise, she could feel the grip on the fabric of her gown lessening. Suddenly her right hand reached out, her fingers curling around the wrist of his hand which held onto the knob.

The heat from his skin spread throughout the expanse of her palm and Katniss could feel her stomach tightening from the mere feel of his skin against hers. Even something as insignificant as the touch of his wrist began to make her dizzy.

"Then make me understand."

Peeta looked down to where she held onto him; he closed his eyes reveling in the feel of her calloused fingers before speaking.

"You were wrong about disappointing me," Peeta slowly moved his eyes up her bare arm to travel to her face, where tear tracks had already become visible," Because it would be you, who would be disappointed."

Peeta reached over to her hand which rested on his wrist with his free hand, he allowed his fingers to linger on top of hers for a few seconds before uncurling her fingers from his body.

Katniss watched him with wide eyes, as her hand fell . The heat from his skin became fleeting with each second, causing her body to ache from the absence of contact.

Peeta watched her face studying it closely, blond bangs fell into his eyes, and Katniss had to fight the overwhelming urge to reach out and brush the strands away.

The bare skin at her back tingled from a sudden gust of wind causing her to shiver slightly, although she wasn't sure if the action was entirely because of the wind.

She could see his fingers curling into his palm, perhaps he was fighting the same urges she had to force down, even though it was slowly tearing her a part.

The cool wind filled the empty space between their bodies, small stands from Peeta's bangs lifted above the hair line as the rest kept their place. The deep wheat colored hair reflected the light from the moon, and Katniss had to hold a sigh back from both the sight of him and the frustration she was feeling.

She opened her mouth to speak but the initiation only caused Peeta to pull back a few steps to open the door. He peeked through his thick hair to glance at her one last time before disappearing into the house.

Katniss stood there on the dim lit porch for an hour before the bare skin on her back began to sting from the cold contact of the wind.

She only made it half way up the stairs before the exhaustion of the night set in, the emotional stress was enough to drain her of any energy, but the effect of being up for nearly a day was enough to send her into a deep sleep.

Her hand gripped the top of the banister for leverage and support, her heavy legs made it to the top of the landing as she kicked the fabric of her dress from under her heels. Katniss hunched over slightly before looking over to her left to where the doors to Peeta's room lied.

His face had become the image to enter her mind when she needed to seek comfort, so it was both foreign and confusing to her that it was the same face which was causing her distress.

She had spent so many years relying on only her own faculties to survive, and somehow Peeta had weaseled his way into her heart. She wanted nothing more than to go to him and seek solace but she knew only solitude was available to her now.

The defeat his eyes had held as they stood on the porch had nearly broken her, he was always so solid, which only made his behavior even more troubling. She could feel her body pulling her to the side; his door was only feet from where she stood now, but better judgment won out, as her tired legs took her to where her bedroom lied.

Katniss bunched the fabric at her sides with both hands, causing the hem to rise halfway up her calves. With her right side, Katniss pushed the door open enough to give her body room to slip through. As soon as she was clear of the door, Katniss kicked the fabric free and with a deft move pushed the door closed with her bare foot, not concerned with the loud thud it would make.

* * *

Any energy she had left had been used on the door, as her body fell to the floor in a rumpled mess of long curls and silk fabric. Katniss had felt lost before, it was a feeling she had been accustomed to, but this instance was different. She felt almost hollow, as if a piece of her had been dug out and the hole in its midst was far too vast to ever fill again.

* * *

He could feel an internal pull towards the door down the end of the hall. Every part of him yearned for her, but he knew she needed distance, and pulling her into his arms wouldn't be fair to her.

Peeta was well aware of the inevitable pain that would follow, because no matter how much he wanted to love her, she wasn't his to love. He had made his choice long ago, and it didn't involve Katniss, she deserved to have someone who could give her themselves completely.

He was only half a man, lost and confused, still a small child searching through the darkness for the smallest inkling of light. Peeta turned towards the banister, his feet moved slower than his fear which resulted in a few missteps down the staircase.

The wooden planks were unrelenting underneath his bare feet and he couldn't help the hisses of pain as the tips of his toes jammed into the stairs. He almost felt thankful for the sharp seconds of pain, he had been worried his entire body had numbed, along with his bruised heart.

It had been a few days since the Capitol Ball, the passing time had faded the memory slightly but the rush of emotions he had felt were constantly bubbling underneath the surface. Peeta had tried to avoid her at every cost, and when he couldn't at meal times and the rare moments they would bump into each other around the manor, Peeta would feign indifference.

The looks of betrayal and pain in her eyes chipped away at his resolve, but rationally he knew that keeping her at a distance was best. However, if he was honest with himself he would have to recognize how his anger with her was directly connected with his inability to defend her.

So in retrospect, he was more disgusted with his failings than with anything she could have done, because Peeta knew anything it was that he had a knack for falling short of her worth.

Peeta shook his head attempting to clear it, before he ran his hand through his hair, pushing the thick strands of bangs back.

He winced again as one of his big toes jammed against the wooden stair again, the pain bringing him out of his head but for only a few seconds. Katniss seemed to consume every waking thought he had, although she also seemed to invade his dreams also, the anxiety of having her close was beginning to effect everything else in his life.

Which only increased the dread he was feeling towards receiving a scheduled call from Effie Trinket later on in the day, her receptionist had called shortly to inform Peeta to be expecting to hear from the relations coordinator.

He couldn't help the dread that was threatening to choke him, it was already clear how she disapproved of him taking on a district born for a handmaiden but even more the fact that he chose someone who was viewed as street trash, only increased the dislike and danger that Katniss had looming over her.

Peeta could only assume that Katniss' behavior at the Capitol Ball would be the topic of conversation, he prayed that imprisonment or worse wouldn't be dispatched towards her.

As he made it to the last step he could smell the sweet and tart aroma of Hazelle's berry pastries lofting in the foyer. A small smile came to his lips as he padded towards the opening of the kitchen, his stomach whined in effect. Peeta began to imagine the fluffy piece of pastry melting on his tongue, a feeling of calm coming over him, until he could hear her voice traveling through the kitchen and out to him.

A sense of panic came over him as he turned towards the stairs, bounding up towards the second story, taking two stairs at once. He reached out to the top of the banister, using it to pull himself up the rest of the way.

He hadn't noticed how heavy he was breathing until he hunched over the finished wood railing, his chest heaved and he could feel waves of bile threatening to rise up into his throat. Peeta needed to clear his head, as his feet took him down the hallway to where the odors of paint thinner and stretched canvases awaited him.

Everything he was now somehow revolved around her, a circumstance he needed to break, because soon she would be gone, and he couldn't break down once again because of her absence.

* * *

The permanent pain at the base of her neck was beginning to annoy her, which undoubtedly was from sleeping against the door a few days ago after the disaster of the Capitol Ball. Katniss had woken up from a fitful sleep as the sun showed through the light gauzy curtains, landing against her eye lids.

The soft heat from the sun was enough to warm her chilled skin, the floor boards had become cool through the night. Katniss hadn't changed out of her ball gown, fabric was made to strategically fall on her body, but regretfully warmth wasn't what Cinna had in mind when he designed the dress.

Katniss pushed the mess of her curls from her face, the edge of one of her nails snagged in the knots of dark hair. She winced as she struggled to free her hand, when she pulled free a few strands came free. Slowly she wove the thin pieces of hair around her pointer finger, studying the colors of her dark hair shining in the sun.

This was something she would do when trying to keep sane in the tunnels. The thought came upon her like a force, causing her to tear the strands from her hand.

Katniss buried her hands in her face, as she tried to push the pain and fear down. There was a possibility she would soon be sent to a facility in the Capitol for her assault against the Lord from the previous night.

All of the progress she had made since arriving at the manor would now be gone, now only a shell of who she was would be present. She knew she had disappointed Peeta, no matter how many times he refused to acknowledge it.

Katniss had pushed herself from the floor, quickly changing out of the ball gown into one of a cotton dress Cinna had left.

She had assumed with the time apart through the night, Peeta had calmed down. However when she had seen him in the hallway he looked right through her.

His normally warm eyes were now cold and indifferent, causing a shiver to travel down her back. It worried her to see him as such, even from before when they had only tolerated each other, Peeta was never cold towards her.

The tensioned hadn't lessened through the day nor the day after, the worst being that everyone was on edge by now. Haymitch had as usual kept to himself, but refused to come up to the main house to pick up his meals. He drunkenly explained to Hazelle how he wouldn't in any shape or form be involved in disagreement between the two younger inhabitants.

Hazelle had tried to reason with him how it would pass soon when Peeta came to his senses, but Haymitch was set in his ways. So, Hazelle was forced to take the extra mile down the hill to where Haymitch's cabin sat.

Katniss had felt horrible that Hazelle, someone who had gone out of her way to make her feel welcomed, had to stretch herself even further than she was already expected to. Katniss could feel how thick the tension was, it was almost unbearable, but on the rare occasion that she and Peeta were in the same room for more than a few minutes, Katniss felt as though she was suffocating.

She had even tried to use the woods as her escape but every time she closed her eyes, she could feel his hands on her body guiding her, like he had when he had taught her to dance.

So now even the forest was now tainted, and even more so the dread she felt about Lord Cato's retaliation towards her was enough to make her down right ill.

Katniss had decided that it was safe to assume that her stay at the manor was now definitely temporary, that any moment a Capitol official would deem it necessary for her imprisonment. So, if it was impossible for her to mend fences with Peeta than she would have to do the next best thing and reach out to Hazelle.

It had been awkward for her at first to approach the older woman after what had happened between herself and Peeta. She had known him longer, and she was correct in thinking that they were more like family than employer and staff.

Katniss felt sick as she descended the stairs, assuming to be met with an icy disposition similar to her encounter with Peeta.

However, instead when she entered the kitchen, Hazelle looked up, her eyes unreadable until it registered who she was seeing. Her lips curled into a warm smile, and she sighed deeply.

"I was almost afraid you would be too scared to even come down."

"I almost didn't. Hiding away in my room was a viable option."

"Well see you even surprised yourself, and when you can do that than you're ahead of the rest of us," Hazelle leaned over the counter top, causing flour to stick to the cotton of her blouse," but you always were weren't you?"

Hazelle winked at Katniss knowingly, as she waved her over. Katniss couldn't help the small smile forming at her lips, as she rounded the island top to stand by the older woman. She watched as Hazelle's hands began moving ingredients around, her fingers used to the busy work.

Her face was down casted with a soft smile permanently present, pieces of her brunette hair had escaped the tight braid running around the crown of her scalp.

Katniss watched her closely examining the soft structure of her face, thin lines had already begun to form on her fair skin, Katniss assumed they were from the stress and worry she had been dealt at a young age, but she could imagine the beauty the older woman could have had when she was younger.

Hazelle kneaded the flour into the dough as she lightly hummed to herself, while stealing glances over at Katniss. The room was silent other than the soft tones until Hazelle cleared her throat.

"I was thinking since you may be staying here longer than you expected, you may want to learn some of the duties around here."

Katniss looked at the woman perplexed," Actually I assumed my stay would be cut short, because of my behavior."

Hazelle waved a flour covered hand in the air dismissively," Oh, sweetie those puffed up wienies in the Capitol they try to pass off as gentlemen need a strong willed woman to knock them down a peg once in awhile. It's good for them."

Katniss scraped her fingers through a patch of forgotten dough," I don't think everyone would agree with you," Hazelle stopped her hands to look over at the young girl," To be honest, I've been waiting for an armed escort from the Capitol to drag me to a holding cell."

Hazelle reached out patting Katniss' hand gently," Let them try to come in here, they'll have more than they can deal with."

"Thank you. I just wish Peeta felt the same. It would be nice to know if he was as inclined to come to my rescue."

Hazelle had opened her mouth to speak but she had closed her lips quickly, her hands going back to work. The day had passed quickly as Katniss tagged along behind the older woman.

She would tell Katniss stories of how she had met her husband and how she had been when she was younger, the dream she had about traveling, but she had become pregnant and her family was already forming.

The companionship had lessened Katniss' worries, but on the rare occasion she would catch a glimpse of Peeta emerging from his painting room, or when he would walk the back path leading down into the forest, all of her regret would come flooding back.

Days since the Capitol Ball had passed, and Katniss had allowed her anxieties to lessen when it came to her assumptions regarding any repercussions of her actions towards a particular Lord. However, the tension between she and Peeta was still ongoing.

Katniss had kept her distance from him, which wasn't difficult when he intentionally avoided her at all costs.

This morning she had woken early, before the sun had rose, to enter the kitchen to begin baking a breakfast pastry Hazelle had taught her to make. The recipe was easy enough to do, but it still had taken her half the day before to learn how not to confuse baking powder and baking salt.

And even after she had mastered the difference, she still had burned the first batch. However, today she was determined to complete the recipe with accuracy, she needed something to be proud of.

Hazelle entered the kitchen a few minutes before, Katniss pulled the baking sheet from the oven. She had been nervous at first, as the older woman examined the bake good, before tearing a piece free, allowing it to melt onto her tongue. Katniss held her breath in anticipation, studying Hazelle's reaction.

Katniss leaned forward on the balls of her feet," So?"

Hazelle cocked her head to the side for a few minutes before responding," Not bad. It's actually pretty good."

"Really?"

"Really."

Katniss reached up to wipe the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand, causing a streak of flour and sugar to form.

"At least something I touched wasn't a complete failure."

Hazelle turned her body to the side," Where's this coming from?"

"Hazelle, you don't have to play ignorant for my benefit. I know you feel the tension in the house, hell it's the reason Haymitch won't even come around anymore. And it's because of me."

Hazelle sighed as she reached up to wipe the ingredients from Katniss' olive skin," First off, don't swear. Second, Haymitch is a grown man," Katniss cocked her head to the side, earning a smile from Hazelle," Alright, relatively speaking he is, and he has his own reasons for not coming around."

"But what's going on between Peeta and I has something to do with it."

Hazelle lowered her hand to the island to reach for a cleaning cloth, before she began wiping flour from Katniss' face," I wasn't aware there was something going on between the two of you."

Katniss' eyes became wide, as she stammered," What? No! Peeta is not someone I would think of… I mean I think of him but only because he's constantly scolding me," Katniss took in a deep breath,  
What I meant was how angry Peeta is with me, and how I behaved at the Capitol Ball."

Hazelle nodded as she shook out the cloth," Oh, I know. But it seems to me when someone becomes that angry it usually has a lot to do with something going on underneath the surface."

"Hazelle I doubt it's that complicated. Peeta gave me exact instructions on how to act, and I didn't follow them. That's why he's angry… nothing else."

Hazelle nodded as she wiped at the counter top," Alright. So why are you angry?"

Katniss opened her mouth to speak, her lips parted for a few seconds before she spoke," I'm not angry."

"Oh of course you are."

"Alright, but only because he keeps treating me like a small child."

"You're sure nothing else?"

"Like what exactly?"

"You told me that you were upset that he left you on your own."

"Yes, but-"

"You're angry because he didn't defend you."

"No-"

"Katniss, you're an incredible strong young woman, but he hurt you when he didn't protect you."

Katniss rubbed her face harshly before turning back to Hazelle," Maybe. But do you know what the worse thing is? For the first time in a really long time I felt like I had a place where I belonged. With people who made me feel like I was more than just a burden. For a while, I didn't feel so lost."

Hazelle shook her head as she begun to laugh softly. Katniss narrowed her eyes at the other woman, her face began to fill with a deep blush.

"I'm glad my pain is so amusing, at least one of us is enjoying it."

Hazelle waved Katniss' statement off," No, it's not that. It's just this house has a way of bringing the lost together. Haymitch with all of his pain and regret when it comes to Maysilee, my own with losing my husband," Hazelle turns to Katniss fully, before reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind Katniss' ear," and you my dear with everything you've had to endure at such a young age-"

"That just leaves Peeta as the only normal one."

Hazelle raises a brow," Dear, Peeta's the most lost one of us all."

This took Katniss by surprise as she looked to the side at nothing in particular," I guess I've never seen him as lost."

Hazelle shrugged," He's just better at hiding it than the rest of us. Which isn't encouraging."

* * *

The streams of the afternoon sun shown down on his bare back, and he could feel the muscles in his back tensing up as he rose the axe up into the air before sending it down to collide with a log of wood, splitting the wood in half. Both sides fell to the wayside, as Peeta bent over reaching for another log, the sweat from his brow threatened to fall into his eyes, before he wiped the side of his face, clearing it momentarily.

The pain in his biceps was beginning to cause his grip on the axe to waiver, which wasn't something rare since he had been under sun for most of the morning, his body already exerting most of his energy. He seemed to be going forward on pure frustration, every time he contemplated on relaxing her face would come to the forefront of his mind and the confusion and anger would set in again.

After he had retreated up stairs after hearing Katniss' voice in the kitchen earlier on, he had tried in vain to paint. It usually was his solution when he was bothered with a matter, but the smearing of paint and the musky smell of the room only reminded him of their time together, as he hovered over her exhausted after they had covered each other in paint.

However what was worse was when he began to have a handle on the situation a vivid memory of scrapping fairies and clouds into a paint chipped wall of a cold room in an orphanage would haunt him. She was everywhere, in his mind, he could almost even remember how it felt to have her lie next to him in bed, how the warm touch of her calloused hands had made his breath catch.

Peeta could feel his chest tighten as tears began to whell up, he used his free hand to push them away as tears mixed with the salt of sweat.

"Are you crying?"

Peeta whirled around, terrified it would be her behind him. Thankfully the sight of an unkempt man with greasy hair came into view.

"No, just sweat. You know the filth you're usually covered in?"

Haymitch nodded," Oh yes, I thought I recognized it."

Peeta sighed, rolling his eyes," What are you doing here, Haymitch?"

Haymitch shrugged," Hazelle refuses to bring me anymore meals. You know how moody she can get sometimes."

"Maybe she doesn't want to have to take care of you?"

Haymitch waved his hand in the air dismissing Peeta's statement," Naw, she likes taking care of everyone. The real reason is you and your girl have disrupted the routine I had going."

Peeta gritted his teeth," She's not my girl-"

"But she is a spitfire, I guess I can see how she can get under your skin."

"She doesn't bother me."

"Of course she does, why the hell else would be under this blistering sun chopping wood, we don't need."

"Haymitch-"

"It's what I used to do when Maysilee drove me nuts. Wasn't I the one who got you to chop wood in the first place?"

"Yes, I believe you told me that any man who used artsy crap for relieving stress was most likely a pansy."

Haymitch lifted a brow," I don't really remember that."

Peeta's lips curved in a smug smile," Which really isn't a shock, but to be fair to your memory I did edit and delete most of the words used."

"Why in hell would you do that?"

"If you really need me to explain it to you than the point is more mute than I realized."

Haymitch pointed his finger at Peeta as he rounded the younger man to pick up one of the spare axes," See that's your problem right there," Haymitch swung the axe into the air testing the weight as he leaned forward causing him to stumble," you've always been concerned with what's proper or assumed of you."

Peeta carefully sat down his axe to reach over to Haymitch's hand, he leaned back to escape the sharp end of the blade, before snatching the handle from the older man's grasp.

"No what I'm concerned with is an old drunk hurting himself with an axe."

Haymitch rubbed his hand, the skin flush by the wood scrapping his palm," So far you're the only one showing force, but give me a few more bottles and I may be there with you. Especially if Hazelle doesn't start feeding me again."

Peeta placed another log onto the stump, wasting no time until he sent the axe on top of it. The splitting sound of the wood echoed between the two men.

"I take it she stopped walking out of her way to force feed the over grown child that you are?"

Haymitch snorted," No, she just said she already had her hands full with one man child and she didn't need another," Haymitch scratched his head, causing the blonde strands to tangle even more," I think she was talking about you."

"It's good to know the alcohol hasn't destroyed every brain cell you have."

Haymitch held his hands up," Ouch, that one hurt. Normally I would be partially proud of you being able to come up with an insult. But that one was a little too real."

Peeta sighed throwing the axe to the ground, turning on Haymitch in a fury," What? You're a drunk Haymitch! It's not some secret no one knows about! You lost yourself in a bottle because of a woman, it's not something to be proud of."

Haymitch rubbed his face slowly, before stepping forward," First off, I'm not going to kick the shit out of you for talking about Maysilee that way, because I know you're hurting. And second do you really think chopping wood out here for hours is any better," Haymitch swallowed thickly," Okay, maybe it's better to punish some pieces of damn wood than drink yourself to death, but pain is pain kid."

Peeta whipped his forehead roughly, strands from his bangs stuck to his skin," I'm not in pain-"

"Fine you're pissed."

Peeta turned his palms up," So I'm angry? So what? I have a right to be, what she did was immature and dangerous, and I was so-"

"Scared?"

"I was going to say disappointed."

"But at who?"

Peeta shook his head, his brow furrowed," What are you talking about?"

"You're not angry with the girl because she let some privileged letch have it. You're angry because she didn't need your help to do it."

"You're wrong."

Haymitch shook his head," No, I don't think so. You left her on her own, and when she needed you the most you weren't there, and what scares you the most is that she was able to handle her own."

"You think you know me so well?"

"Kid, I was you, granted with more of a temper, and less uppity, but you and I aren't as different as you would like to think."

"Well, enlighten me."

"I was sixteen and I just started dating the general store owner's daughter. She was blonde and fair skin with bright blue eyes, the opposite from me a kid from the Seam, so it wasn't hard for people to see that we were different from each other, and most weren't too thrilled we were together.

So one day I'm coming into town to pick up some stuff for my mother, and there's this crowd at the center of the square. There's a lot of cheering and yelling so it wasn't hard to assume it was fight, I've always been up for a good fight so when I pushed my way through, you can imagine my surprise when I see a petite blonde pummeling the shit out of the butcher's boy.

She was straddling him as she punched away at his face, blood was spilling from his nose. The dress she had on was already muddy, when I ran up and pulled her off of him. She kicked and thrashed around, it took me a few minutes to calm her down as he groaned on the ground cursing at her.

Apparently he had teased her about being with me, and when he made an advance towards her, she punched him, and threw him to the ground."

Peeta lifted a brow," You're kidding?"

"No, and the worst part was I was angry with her for not waiting for me to protect her. But finally I realized that having a woman in my life that wasn't around to defend herself was a rarity and a gift, because it's the strong willed ones who teach us something."

"She actually punched him?"

Haymitch chuckled as the memory came to him, "I had actually just taught her how a few days before."

Peeta threw himself down on the ground, landing on a piece of split wood, he winced as he pulled it from underneath him to throw it over to the side.

"So you're telling me I'm really pissed at myself for not protecting her?"

Haymitch nodded as he sat down beside Peeta," For starters yes, but I have a feeling there's more to it all than your bruised ego."

Peeta could feel his stomach fall, he was determined to keep his past with Katniss a secret and having Haymitch being aware of it made him feel sick.

"More to it?"

Haymitch slapped Peeta's leg," Kid even a damn drunk like me can see you fancy her. Women will get under your skin every time."

Peeta adjusted his back against the stump, pieces of bark scrapped his bare back. A part of him was thankful for the slight pain, he needed the distraction from the dilemma that was Katniss.

Strangely enough his conversation with Haymitch had given him some things to think about, but even if he did experience a sense of clarity it still didn't remedy the confusion he had when it came to his feelings for her.

* * *

The air in the room was stifling as he sat down in the chair located behind his desk. There was a reason he avoid his office as all costs, it was a constant reminder of the man he had to be outside of district twelve. However he had made his choices and he had to live with the consequences, but the sting of such choices hadn't been as sharp until Katniss had come back into his life.

After he had talked with Haymitch, he sat on the ground for another hour before retreating to his room for a much needed shower. The water had lost its warmth after the first five minutes, as the cool water enveloped his body.

Peeta hung his head as the water traveled through his hair, to drop from the ends of the strands. He needed for the throbbing pain in his chest to fade to a dull ache, his muscles tense and unrelenting as he released an uncontrollable sob.

Peeta curled his fingers into his palm, as the water ran down his cheeks to his lips. A strangled breath escaped his mouth, as his chest heaved, before steadying its pace.

After he had vacated the shower and dressed, Peeta walked down the stairs hoping not to run into the dark haired girl who invaded his dreams.

He had assumed if he was distance and cold to her that the need to have her close would cease to exist, but instead of yearning ebbing it only intensified. Thankfully he was able to enter the room without running into her, but the scent of her loomed in the foyer, which only made his throat tight, as he willed his feet forward.

Peeta had been seated at his desk for a few minutes until the silver phone at his left began to ring. The shrill tone made him jump, he paused taking in a deep breath before reaching for the handle.

The usual pleasantries he exchanged with Effie Trinket filled the conversation with the same daunting routine as always. He could sense the inevitable, as he waited for the relations director to mention Katniss' name.

"There is the matter of your hand maiden and her blatant defiance against propriety-"

"To be fair Miss Trinket, Miss Everdeen is a young woman who has enough sense to notice perverse behavior when she sees it , she shouldn't be reprimanded for it. Now, I don't agree with how Miss Everdeen handled the situation, but Lord Cato's improprieties are well known, and I personally know of more than one maiden who has suffered bruises and worse from his… attention."

"Yes, and his pass indiscretions are why Miss Everdeen is being scolded upon and not executed for assaulting someone of nobility," Peeta could hear her take in a deep breath," Off the record her actions were highly entertaining I'm told, it seems more than one high ranking official was pleased to finally see the young Lord Cato suffer a bit of his own medicine."

Peeta felt a smile forming before Effie continued on," But make no mistake Companion Mellark, if she continues with such actions than she will be treated as a threat to civilized society."

"Well, if that is the case than I take full responsibility for her actions, she is under my tutelage."

There was a long pause on the other end of the receiver," Fine Companion Mellark if that is how you would prefer to go about than I can't attest it, but I would be completely clear to Miss Everdeen as to how she is expected to act. Because if she forgets her manners again, it will be you suffering the consequences beside her."

Peeta swallowed hard before answering," I understand."

"Very good."

"If you don't mind me inquiring was that the sole reason for our conversation?" Peeta asked in a clipped voice, the annoyance apparent in his voice.

An irritated huff of air sent static through the receiver," Companion Mellark I have to say I'm not very pleased with your tone."

"I'm sorry Miss Trinket, it must have to do with my upbringing, being an uncivilized district born and all."

Peeta could feel the tension through the phone, he had never been so overtly defiant before, although he had to admit it gave him a fleeting sense of relief. With more force than required, Peeta rubbed the heel of his free hand over his forehead.

"Please excuse my disrespect."

Silence filtered through to Peeta, until Effie spoke with her usual sugary sweet tone," Of course. I understand the amount of pressure your under now," Peeta felt sick to his stomach for having to stoop for her acceptance," Moving on to the other matter, there has been a development in Miss Everdeen's social agenda."

Peeta sat up straight, as he gripped the telephone handle tightly," A development."

"Yes it seems even though I regard her actions as unacceptable it appears that she had made an impression. Lord Darius has requested the ability to court Miss Everdeen, personally I tried to advise against it, but he seems to already be quite taken by her."

"Lord Darius is highly sought after."

"Yes, he is. He's also quite respected as is his family, as you know they own most of the wealth of the Capitol. So it would be quite foolish for her to treat him in the same respect as she did Lord Cato."

"Thank you, I'll be sure to tell her."

"No, thank you Companion Mellark. I'm also assuming that you will be sure that Miss Everdeen will be at her best behavior, when accompanying you to the Capitol in a day's time. I'll be in touch before then with the specifics."

"As always it's been a pleasure, Miss Trinket."

"For me as well, Companion Mellark."

Peeta waited for silence to meet his ear before he sighed hanging up the receiver. He leaned back into his chair, his fingers finding themselves in the strands of his bangs, tangling there. He needed to scream, to shout or the very least break something. Everything was slipping through his fingers, and for a second he regretted taking her from that abandoned street. The thought made him cringed and he hated himself for being so weak, for not being the person she deserved to have by her side.

* * *

The silence in the dining room was suffocating as they both picked at their full plates absentmindedly, neither looking up to acknowledge the others presence. The scraping of the teeth on Peeta's fork against his metal plate sent a wave of shivers through Katniss' body. Her nerves were already on edge with having him so close, but having the added sound only irritated her more.

Hazelle had walked Haymitch back home, politely excusing herself, while Haymitch was glad to admit that the tension between the two younger inhabitants was making him thirsty for a drink. And while he always welcomed a good brawl, the passive aggressive behavior of the two was giving him a headache.

Peeta was determined to keep his head down as he forced the bit of food in his mouth, his tongue was rough like sand paper, and he could feel bile rising up his throat. His nerves were bunched and the anxiety made his stomach turn. It had been difficult to be in the same room with her at first but after smelling the lavender wafting from her dark hair, and the way the dark curls would bend around her face due to the open window behind her, made the entire time unbearable. So, Peeta did the only thing he could, he avoided eye contact with her, and tried to pretend she wasn't sitting a few feet across from him.

The tension wasn't any easier for Katniss as she snuck half lidded glances towards Peeta. He was wearing a plain dark blue button up which clung to his broad shoulder enhancing the structure. She cursed herself for noticing such things when he had gone out of his way to make her feel unwelcomed. Katniss could feel herself becoming the insecure girl from under the Capitol who scrounged for food like a wild animal.

She was locked back in the prison she had escaped, but only now it was her defiant soul she had lost. Katniss shook her head as she gritted her teeth and reached for a slice of apple. It had only taken a second as she pinched the peel of the fruit, a stream of juice running down her finger. It hadn't registered in her mind what she had done until the piece of fruit collided with Peeta's forehead. Her hand was still in the air, when he picked the apple slice from his lap to look up at her with disbelief. They both sat there frozen, in complete silence, until Peeta threw it back at her, making it land at her bare shoulder.

"Really Katniss, throwing food?"

"It got you to talk to me didn't it?"

"I would think you of all people wouldn't waste food on something so childish."

"Like I said, it worked," Katniss picked the slice up to place it in her mouth, as she chewed it loudly, her mouth half open," And the apple's still good, so technically I didn't waste it. It served its purpose."

"I'm not going to encourage you. You think you can do these rash things, and to hell with the consequences."

Katniss slammed her hands down, causing the plates to rattle," I'm not to become that person again, just because I broke some unspoken trust you invented between us. And you know what? I would do the same thing again! I wouldn't changes anything!"

Peeta pointed at her angrily," And that's the problem. You're noticed now Katniss, you have to be careful of how you react," Peeta broke eye contact with her, his hands running through his hair," I wouldn't let you be lost again, believe me you don't deserve it."

"Peeta-"

"I'm angry with myself because I should have been the one to beat his ass to the floor, hell with propriety. I promised you, we were in this together, and I deserted you. I failed you not the other way around."

Katniss shook her head," No, you were right to be angry I acted impulsive and rash. I'm just too defiant-"

Peeta turned to her briskly," I don't want you to lose that. It's what makes you… you."

"I never wanted to disappoint you," Katniss could feel the tears stinging at her eyes," I need you."

Peeta's eyes became wide and he could feel his heart race," You need me?"

Katniss nodded, her hands began to tremble as she pushed them into her lap," Like someone would a friend."

She felt sick for lying to him, she could see his eyes drain of something she couldn't quite recognize and his face became pale before regaining its color.

Peeta forced a smile, even though his heart was breaking," Of course. I feel the same way."

Katniss looked up at his through a curtain of her dark hair," Do you think we can go back to before?"

Peeta nodded as he swallowed, his throat was dry," Yes."

Katniss smiled as she playfully threw another piece of apple at him. Peeta caught it with one hand, before popping the fruit into his mouth. The sliver of the apple felt heavy on his tongue and he had force it down his throat, while smiling at Katniss.

He had meant to mention the news about Lord Darius, but a part of him wanted to keep her for himself and just for now Peeta pushed the rest of the world away. Because at least for now she was just his again, and he wanted to have the moment last for as long as possible.

* * *

_A/N: I hope the chapter was worth the long wait. I promise the next chapter will be posted soon and as always... Please REVIEW REVIEW!_


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm going ahead and changing the rating to **M**, since some situations that can be classified as mature are coming up._

_I also want to thank Wildharp for Beta-ing. Thanks, buddy!_

Chapter Seven

The walls began to close in and all he could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears. The racing of his pulse caused his body to shake, threatening his grasp on the counter of the bathroom sink. Every muscle in his body began to tense and he could feel his mind begin to spin.

Peeta hunched his shoulders forward, the action causing the stress in his muscles to echo a popping sound. Strands of blond bangs fell in front of his face filling the empty space there, as a few pieces clung to the sweat rolling down from his forehead.

He felt ill and he could sense the burning brunt of bile rising up his throat. It had been years since he had vomited after an _appointment. _

It had been when he was only fifteen, after the first time he had to meet a client. He could still remember how his skin stung from the contact, his skin having an adverse reaction to her body dye. His body felt raw, but even the pain couldn't distract him from the emptiness he had felt. It seemed to threaten to swallow him whole.

Something had been taken from him, granted he had known the conditions before he agreed, but he hadn't realized how broken he would have been over the consequences.

He had been a virgin, never knowing the feel of a woman's body against his or how sweat could make a sound when skin collided. Before he had only known the feel of cracked but soft genuine lips against his.

What he had experienced in the cold room of the orphanage with the gray eyed girl with heavy dark curls, had been pure, it had been love seen through childish eyes.

So in the bathroom of a room he felt small in with its silk sheets and marbled floors, fifteen year old Peeta Mellark, vomited onto the floor. After wards when all of his energy had left him he collapsed against the wall, his still gangly limbs sprawled out against the now filthy marble stones.

Through the years he had trained himself how to react after the deed had been done, perversely it had actually become easy for him to turn himself off, to become what the client needed.

His true self was tucked away behind lies and deception, but it was comforting to know he never had to be himself with these women, because in truth that's not what they wanted.

They lusted after the district born companion, who could work the calloused pads of his fingers up their bodies, who could make them squirm and writhe with anticipation.

They wanted the fantasy which had been constructed, he was the forbidden fruit, everything they could indulge in. For them he wasn't the charming young man who enjoyed painting, or lying beneath the trees, as he dug his toes into the cool dirt.

Peeta had to bury that version of himself deeper each time, and for the longest time he didn't notice its absence until the girl with the grey eyes and dark curls came back into his life, and he wanted to curse her for making him realize how inhuman he had become.

He had reveled in the bliss of his ignorance and to finally be aware of his circumstance was suffocating him.

After they had vacated the train which had carried them into the Capitol from district twelve, Peeta had been overly cautious, as he kept Katniss close to him.

The situation from the Capitol Ball was still a popular topic within the social circles of the Capitol, and he didn't want any harm to come to her from the fallout. She had humored him and contradicting her defiant nature she abided his want. As they walked down the main square towards the hotel where they would be staying, it was hard having her so close and not taking her hand in his.

To do so would be dire, since all eyes were on them, and Katniss who had been introduced to polite society for only a few short weeks was already a hot button of conversation, to add fuel to the flame would only endanger her.

They had gotten lucky when she had assaulted someone disliked by the general public, but if it appeared that she was intimately involved with a companion then the consequences would be fatal.

Even without holding onto her, Peeta could feel her arms shaking from the anxiety. Their proximity was close enough for her body to innocently touch his, and he could feel the slight vibration coming off of her.

She had lowered her head as they walked through the city and he could almost see her shrinking. Without thinking Peeta reached out, with his closest hand to her, folding his fingers over her bare forearm slowly before giving it a reassuring squeeze.

The sudden contact caused Katniss to abruptly stop, which in effect caused the long coat she was wearing to catch underneath her heels. Her body proceeded to hurl itself onto the ground, gravity dragging her down. On instinct Peeta swung his body in front of her, holding onto her biceps to brace himself and hold her up as she came crashing into his chest.

A mass of flailing limbs and dark curls, a few strands caught on the moisture on Peeta's lips, hurled into him. Peeta held onto her as she righted her footing, kicking the troublesome coat from underneath her feet.

Katniss' hands now spanned across his chest, the tips of her fingers lightly wrinkled his button down shirt, as she looked up into his face. Her dark curls framed her face and Peeta could feel the air restrict in his lungs, the grip he had on her arms tighten.

Katniss lowered her hands, backing up from him, but he still had a hold of her. He noticed as she looked around them her face becoming pale, her gray eyes wide. Peeta followed her line of sight to see that in the chaos of the night life of the Capitol, a few spectators had gathered to watch their interaction.

Peeta's reaction to release her arms was longer than it should have been as he lowered his arms. He could feel the blush forming at his cheeks, before he turned around explain how clumsy one hand maiden could be.

Most just nodded and rolled their eyes at the young girl, but a few eyed the younger pair before carry on with their business. When the small crowd had dispersed Peeta turned back to Katniss who was watching him closely, he swallowed hard before smiling softly.

Peeta extended his hand in front of him to suggest they carry on, Katniss nodded mutely as they entered the lobby to the hotel.

Peeta was careful to keep his distance from her, unlike the street there would be numerous eyes following their every move, waiting to report back to curious benefactors. The walk to the elevators was straight forward, as Katniss kept her focus in front of her.

Most hand maidens during their first outing for business were enthralled with all of the lighting and extravagances around them, but Katniss seemed unimpressed, which was something Peeta had to admit made him respect her even more.

The ride up to the room was cramped and nerve wracking, the metal box held only he and Katniss but the closer they got to the room he could feel the tension thickening.

She kept her head down, never looking his way, and Peeta couldn't help the slight heartbreak he felt from not having her voluntarily watch him. After the doors opened allowing Peeta to breath something more than recycled air, he escorted Katniss down to the suite which was always reserved for him when he had _business_.

Katniss sighed deeply as she stepped into the room, rich gold tapestries hung from the walls, and heavy curtains to match blended into dark blue walls.

Peeta helped her with her things to the bedroom she would be using. The room connected to a lounge for entertaining, as the rooms were separated by an executive bathroom which was larger than the first floor of Peeta's home.

Katniss had inquired as to why one person would need a bathroom so large for only themselves, Peeta had become flushed when he quietly explained to her that the bathroom was usually used for entertaining more than as bathrooms, and at times the number in attendance would become quite large.

Katniss simply nodded before busying herself with pulling out the clothes she had packed. Peeta explained that they may not stay long enough for her unpacking to be necessary but Katniss assured him that busy work helped her. He nodded before excusing himself. He was wanted across the hotel, where he would be meeting the client.

Katniss had given him all the required information on the train ride in after she had talked over the particulars with Effie. Peeta was half way down the hallway, when Katniss ran from the room, her feet now bare after shedding her coat and heels.

She wore a tailored blue dress which held onto curves she had recently acquired as her eating habits improved. Her dark hair ran down her back, and it flew behind her as she attempted to catch up with him. She was a few feet from him when he looked around them, trying to watch out for any prying eyes.

"You shouldn't be out of the room. It isn't safe."

Katniss breathed in deeply trying to catch her breath," You don't have to warn me I know. And I have to admit being back in this city isn't something I'm at ease with. Seeing as I don't have the fondest memories associated with this place," she reached down fiddling with the hem of her dress," I just wanted to wish you luck or," Katniss scrunched up her face and Peeta had to admit he found her even more attractive when she became nervous," I don't know, just… I'll-"

Peeta smiled softly as he cut her off," I'll see you when I get back."

Katniss returned his smile, but her eyes were heavy," Yes."

Peeta motioned back to the room Katniss' eyes followed," You better get back," he shuffled his feet," I shouldn't be long."

Katniss looked at the room before turning back to him," Peeta?"

"Yes?"

He wasn't aware of her arms around his neck until the brunt force of her body colliding with his registered in his mind. Her dark hair now covered most of his face as Peeta turned his neck to the side to breathe in her scent.

And then as quickly as it had happened, she tore her body from his grasp, running down the secluded hall back to where their room lied.

He had walked to the client's room in a daze, he could still feel her body pressed to his, and he was amazed by how much at peace he truly felt when having her close.

There were times before when he couldn't turn his mind off and all he could think of was how she could never be his, not really, and during the last few days when he had been so angry with her but more so with himself, having her close was torture, absolutely painful, but in that moment when she had embraced him, it was pure, he felt at ease.

Peeta was still piecing together every sensation of having her close, the smell of her hair, the feel of her petite body fitting to his, when the door opened revealing his client. Peeta would like to admit he was shocked when she opened the door in nothing but lace panties, but there was little to do with the Capitol and their actions that would send him into a tail spin.

Her body was dyed lilac to match her straight hair which rested against her side, momentarily covering most of her right breast. Peeta couldn't help but compare how her appearance contrasted with that of Katniss'.

Where the woman seductively leaned to the side while running her free hand down her bare body to only catch her long nails in the lace of her underwear, Katniss would most likely have already tripped over her own feet while trying to seem sexy.

And curls forming out of dark silken tresses haunted his mind not artificial coloring from a bottle.

Peeta hadn't noticed how long he had been gawking at the woman until she stood up straight huffing in annoyance. He had been so lost in thought of Katniss, he had lost track of time and his duties. Snapping back into reality, he rushed up to her pressing his body into her bare one.

She jumps up wrapping her legs around his waist, almost knocking him back into the still opened door.

Peeta kicked the door closed as he walked their two bodies over to a silk sofa located in the center room. For the most part, even in the Capitol, his clients want to try to woo him, as if it's needed to ease their dwindling conscience.

Peeta always understood that they thought they were giving him a choice, when in reality there wasn't a choice. The they wouldn't have to worry about feeling indebted to someone ,they were in reality sexually abusing. But the woman pressed up against him who had already begun to lick the bare skin of his neck, didn't seem to be plagued by any such guilt.

Peeta was a play thing to her, and in some respect he almost felt thankful that she didn't try to put up the charade as if this was a normal date. He tried to deposit her on the sofa but she held onto his hips with her slender legs tightly, Peeta sighed as their bodies fell on the furniture.

His head hit the side of the sofa as she slid from underneath him, slightly kicking his body to the side. He was grateful for the space until she scooted back towards him, closing the space between their bodies. She stuck out her tongue to place a small off white pill into her mouth, closing her eyes in indulgence as it melted on her tongue mixing with her saliva.

Peeta felt sick to his stomach, he recognized the type of narcotic, having taken it before, he was sixteen and he spent the next six hours convinced mutts with blood soaked fangs were hunting him down as the client bore down onto his lap, mulling and moaning in pleasure as the young boy beneath her cringed in fear.

Peeta felt the bile rise up as she held out a pill for him, he knew refusing wasn't an option. You never refused anything the client wanted from you, and besides he was already on thin standing with the officials of the Capitol. However, he knew the repercussions were sure to affect Katniss more than himself, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her.

So with a steady hand, Peeta brought her hand close to his mouth, before forming his lips over her finger, the pill dropping onto his tongue.

He closed his eyes willing his fear to lessen as he heard her moan in agreement. His eyes were still close when she began to tear at his clothes, everything became a blur as clothing was thrown aside and skin met skin.

Peeta slammed his hands against the sink, as his head swam, he could feel the effects of the drug wearing off, but he wasn't clear of the side effects yet. His entire body had heat up and he felt as though the fabric of his clothes were burning him.

With unsteady hands he hastily tore his shirt open, a few buttons ricocheted off of the counter to land beside his bare feet. He could feel the cool air from the circulation vent blowing onto his skin. In a panic he undid the latch of his pants before sliding the zipper down.

He could feel his heart race and he wanted nothing more than to be free of the binding, heated fabric, but in his haste his feet caught in the hem of his pants sending his face forward. Peeta's face collided with the sink, the molding was unrelenting as his skull collided with it, causing a horrible sound.

Peeta fell to his knees clutching his head as the pain throbbed form his forehead. He had left his underwear on, and as he half way laid on the tile flooring he could feel his body heat lowering.

He began to tear at his skin as the pulsating pain from his fall lessened. He didn't feel at home in this skin, he needed to peel it away and uncover the man he was supposed to be, the man he could have been if he had stayed on the street.

If he had stayed with the gray eyed girl, the one he had asked to kiss so long ago. In his manic state Peeta can feel every cell in his body heat up, every dip of his shoulders, the feel of his polished skin, the absence of scars he accumulated before becoming a companion.

It isn't until he comes to the top of shoulders when he discovers deep long scratches beginning at the top to travel down below his shoulder blades.

The deep grooves seem to bring his mind to the forefront when he remembers how she had clawed at him as she climaxed, he had cried out in pain while still in the haze of the drug. She had only laughed in pleasure, the air heavy with sweat and sex.

Peeta had swallowed, his throat dry and raw from breathing in through his mouth. He had closed his eyes willing his mind to carry him through even though the drug had full control of his functions.

When he had opened his eyes, he couldn't hold back the gasp from escaping his lips when he saw dark curls falling onto his bare chest. Olive skin stretched over her bare chest and Peeta had to refrain from gulping when her small but firm breasts came into view. The sharp curve of her hips pressed into his as she lowered her body onto his.

Peeta lifted her head, his hands going behind her ears to bury his fingers in her dark hair. The curls were now drawn back and he could see her deep gray eyes, the eyes which held every comfort he had been searching for. The eyes he had been mesmerized by in a dark room located in a cold orphanage so long ago.

Peeta watched her for the longest time holding her face up as she stilled her actions, their bodies still joined.

"You are so beautiful."

"You really think so?"

Peeta nodded, his eyes beginning to fill with tears," I always have."

Peeta closed his eyes as she proceeded to bear down onto him, he knew in reality he wasn't on the sofa with Katniss, she wasn't the one he was joined with. Sex wasn't a part of their arrangement but he reasoned with himself, if the people of the Capitol could use him for their own devices than he could form his own reality for the time being.

He could imagine the woman above him was the only woman he wanted to share this with, and not just sex but a connection.

The hallucinogenic only helped the process as he opened his eyes to see Katniss smiling back at him, he brought her face forward so her mouth could join with his, their tongues pressing up against the other's. It hadn't been long until the vision of Katniss had faded and the sight of the woman dyed in lilac came into view, her skin was drenched with sweat, and her make up had run, forming black lines of smeared application.

He had left in silence after she had decided she needed to shower in peace, giving the drug a chance to wear off before she joined her husband at home. Peeta located his clothing as she left the room, he had dressed quickly before making his way back to their suite. It hadn't been an easy feat in his condition but he had made it back, walking directly to the bathroom, where he now kneeled on the floor nearly naked and broken.

With wobbly legs Peeta pulled himself off of the ground, his nails digging into the lip of the sink. His back ached and he began to feel more sensation in his lower extremities. The drug was wearing off in time, and he hoped he would be able to sleep soon.

He cleared his throat before turning the facet on, a wide stream of water rushed out, his tongue stung with want. Peeta glanced up for a second to catch a glimpse of his appearance but what he saw made his stomach lurch.

* * *

He wasn't seeing the man he was now, but a boy with softer features which he hadn't yet grown into it. His hair was longer, curling at the ends and his blue eyes were still full of life in face of the hard ships he had gone through. Peeta didn't feel the glass slicing through his palm until he noticed the lines of blood falling down the shattered mirror. He held his hand flat against the glass as his appearance changed into the broken man he now was.

* * *

_She could feel the tight embrace his arms had over her waist before she opened her eyes. She vaguely remembered how he had come into the room closing the door quietly before laying his body flat on the concrete floor, mirroring her pose. One of the house mother's had caught her trying to smuggle food to one of the younger girls. She hadn't expected the blow against both sides of her face, it almost didn't seem real until the older woman cupped her hands again to strike her another three times. She had crumpled to the floor, the beating a haze of flailing limbs and venom. _

_One of the older boys had been instructed to take her back to the room she frequented on a regular basis. He had thrown her broken body onto the floor, and she waited until the boy who came in the night would by her side. He came with stories, and sometimes there were kisses, but he was always there with a rare kindness which seemed to glow from the inside._

_At first she had thought he was a part of the dreams she lost herself in, convinced all of the trauma had caused her to lose her hold on reality. He was the prince from his stories who would slay dragons and embark on great adventures filled with danger, just so he could make it back to her._

_She sighed deeply, which caused her to wince, her body was still sore and she could feel the bruises and swelling rising from her face. She could only imagine what the welts looked liked forming over her olive skin. She could feel him breathing behind her, he made her feel warm, which puzzled her since the room was cold, the concrete floor freezing. _

_She could feel his phantom touches from when he had stroked her face gently, apologizing for not protecting her. His blue eyes held so much pain, and she was curious as to why he sometimes looked at her in a certain way. And then her train of thought would send her to that day almost a year ago when he had asked to kiss her._

_She hadn't understood the implications of such a request until recently, when his shaggy blond hair would fall into his eyes, a grin formed at his lips and she would feel her stomach tighten. She would sometimes over hear the older girls in the orphanage talking about certain activities they would engage in with the older boys, but it only confused her more. She could never imagine doing such lude things with her blue eyed prince, but she had to admit that when his lips brushed against hers she would feel an intense warmth traveling up her body._

_She wondered if love gave you a fever like when you were ill, she had to admit that the girls in the home who claimed to be in love seemed silly and delirious so maybe being in love was like being sick. She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of vomiting just because you thought a boy was cute. She was still contemplating the oddities of love when his tight embrace around her waist loosened. _

_The light had begun to filter through and she knew he would have to leave soon. Gently she turned into him, her body ached and she gritted her teeth to stop the moan clawing up her throat. His eyes were already open when she met his gaze._

"_Are you feeling any better?"_

"_A bit."_

"_You shouldn't have tried to take the food on your own. I would have snuck in some extra at night."_

"_I wanted to."_

_The blonde boy nodded as he reached up to her dark hair moving the curls back," I know, but I'm sometimes afraid your defiant nature will get you more than a beating."_

_She watched him as his eyes roamed around her face gingerly touching each bruise," Do you ever think you'll be married?"_

_His fingers stilled and he locked onto her eyes," Only if I love her."_

_The girl began to cry as she balled her fists into the fabric of his worn shirt," But I don't want you to be sick!"_

_The boy laughed out loud as he raised a brow," What?"_

_The girl sniffled," When you're in love it's like being ill. It makes you act funny and your stomach becomes achy, and every part of you becomes warm."_

"_You feel those things because you're happy and excited not because you're sick."_

_The girl nodded as she sniffed again," Oh. Do you think you could marry me?"_

_The boy almost choked on his breath as he sputtered a reply," What…I…um…sure. But why do you want to marry me?"_

"_Because you're my friend and you make me happy when you tell me stories and I'm always excited when you come to visit."_

_The boy's smile fell for a second before he regained his composure," You make me happy too."_

Katniss ' eyes flew open as she clutched the pillow beneath her head. Sweat flooded her face as her entire body felt warm. She kicked free of the restricting silk sheets, as she stretched her body over the bed, her left leg hanging over the side.

The dream was still at the forefront of her mind when she fully regained consciousness. She hadn't thought of the boy from the orphanage in so long, and when she had it was never as clear as it had just been. Perhaps it was more of a memory than a dream, and a part of her mind was slowly healing itself.

Katniss bent her left leg at the knee to right herself back onto the bed when the thud of her book hitting the floor caught her attention. She sighed in defeat as she reluctantly sat up, swinging her legs over the side, to stretch her arm out to retrieve the book.

The spine was beginning to break and she dreaded the day she wouldn't be able to carry it around as much. Although since arriving in twelve she hadn't needed it as frequently as she would have assumed.

It had become her way to lose herself in something that didn't remind her of her reality, it had given her security. But she had formed relationships in twelve, met people who made her feel almost normal. The book with its tales of dragons and handsome princes was pushed back in her mind.

It wasn't until Peeta had told her they would be traveling to the Capitol, that she felt her anxieties rising, and the book was needed once again. Her fingers curled around the spine careful not to further damage it as she lifted it to her chest pressing it there.

Katniss closed her eyes listening only to the sounds of her breathing, her nails pressing into the old leather of the book. Her body began to relax from any excitement the dream might have caused her, and she could feel exhaustion settling into her joints.

The room had become still even with the Capitol still in celebration outside her window.

So, it wasn't a surprise to her that she was startled when the breaking of glass rung out into the air, the book dropping from her hands. The sound was eerie in the silent suite and Katniss felt her pulse race. She stood up, stepping over the book which now lied back onto the floor, to make her way over to the door which revealed the bathroom.

She reached out pushing the door open, expecting to find Peeta had knocked over one of the many hideous vases which littered the counters. Katniss had to admit she had been tempted to do so, but she reasoned against it, she didn't need to give the Capitol another reason to loathe her.

When she stepped into the room she tried to repress the gasp escaping her lips as the man she had come to know as stable, yes he could be vague in his feelings towards her, was now hunched down on the floor holding his hand. Blood was running down his wrist to drip onto the tiled floor beneath him.

He was undressed with only his underwear on, the silk of his boxers clinging to his sweat covered skin, and his back was red with welts which resembled scratches spanning down his back.

This version of Peeta was in complete contrast to what she had come to expect and she had to hold back the tears threatening to fall. She stood there frozen for the longest time before she shook herself out of her stupor, rushing over to him.

He jumped slightly when she gently placed her hands onto his bare shoulders. She leaned into him enough to survey the damage done to his hand, her dark curls falling over his forearm, before running her fingers down the tears at his back marring up his fair skin. Katniss had to repress a choking sob from exiting her throat as she surveyed his battered body.

Peeta began to rock back and forth, his body beginning to shake violently, the heels and pads of his bare feet increasing their pressure onto the floor.

His voice was small and almost frail," I shouldn't have left you."

Katniss pushed his hair off of his forehead as she gently stroked his face," Don't worry about that you didn't have a choice."

Peeta shook his head," No I did, I should have never said yes. I should have stayed with you."

Peeta's rocking intensified as Katniss tried to calm him," Shhh. It's okay."

"I was weak-"

Katniss placed her fingers on his lips stopping his speech," That doesn't matter right now. What matters is getting you cleaned up."

Peeta nodded as Katniss maneuvered in front him, taking both of his shoulders. Gently, but with the needed force she sat him down on the bathroom tile. His body was easily pliable and she worried at how easy it was to manipulate his movements.

Katniss balanced herself on her toes as she studied his face, he was still shaking but not as profusely, he was incredibly pale making the dark circles around his blue eyes visible.

He made eye contact with her, but his look was far off and Katniss had to ignore the nauseous feeling in her stomach. She reached up slowly, careful not to startle him, her fingers working through his blond bangs. His hair was drenched with sweat, Katniss twirled the strands around her fingers as she searched his face.

She could see him wince, reminding her of his injured hand. She felt foolish for losing time while consoling him, he needed his wounds taken care of, not an emotional girl fawning over him. Katniss unwound her fingers from his hair to place her hand just below where the blood pool was forming.

"We really need to bandage this. Let me see if I can find an aide kit, surely they have bandages and antiseptic."

Katniss stood up to walk over to the cabinets located around the sink. Her face dropped when all that seemed to be present was oils, soaps, and certain devices which any savory person would never condone using.

She could feel her anger rising, frustrated over the basic needs not being accounted for, but Katniss had to remind herself that in the Capitol self indulgence, not being practical, was favored.

Katniss glanced over to Peeta who had begun to shake again, causing tiny droplets of blood to land up his arm. She gritted her teeth as she ran over to the wet bar near the shower, she had to stop from rolling her eyes at how ludicrous it was to have a bar in a bathroom.

The clear bottle of alcohol caught her eye, she picked it up by the neck shaking it lightly as she surveyed the contents.

"This should work," she murmured to herself.

A stack of white pressed cloths sat behind the bottles of liquor, Katniss picked up a few, hoping to use the fabric as bandages. She rushed over to Peeta placing the items down before she ran to the sink, she looked around the counter for a sort of basin to use, a silver bowl filled with soaps caught her eye. Her eyes travelled up to the broken mirror, the cracks in the glass distorting her reflection.

Blood had already dried in the cracks of the glass. Katniss shook her head trying to clear her mind as she tossed the soaps to the side, and she filled the silver bowl full of cool water. Katniss was careful not to drop the water, as she navigated around the collection of blood on the floor.

The room was eerily quiet with only the sound of Peeta's labored breathing, as her heart raced. Katniss threw her head to side trying to manage her curls to her back, as she dipped the cloths into the water, before bringing the wet fabric to his hand. He cringed watching his hand intently, Katniss uncapped the liquor bottle quickly before pouring a generous amount of the contents onto his wound.

He hissed and attempted to pull away but Katniss lightly slapped away his other hand as he tried to push her away. It wasn't long before the wound path was clear of blood and Katniss could survey the cut.

The skin on his palm had already puckered from the blood coating it for an extended amount of time. The wound wasn't as deep as she would have assumed, which meant luckily he wouldn't need to have stitches. She moved her fingers over the wound, before she reached for the cloth.

Katniss glanced up to his eyes before she lowered her gaze again," Do you know what you took?"

Peeta nodded before his voice cracked," Mescaline. It was mescaline."

Katniss shook her head, she was aware of the popular street drug. She had known a few street kids who would indulge in the vivid hallucinations the drug would bring.

Katniss kept her eyes averted ,"And it was given to you because it lowers inhibitions. Have the hallucinations lessened?"

His body began to shake again as she moved the edge of the cloth to her mouth. With little effort Katniss, used her teeth to start a tear in the fabric, before she lowered the cloth from her mouth tearing it in strips. It wouldn't be the most sophisticated bandage but it would be usable.

Peeta kept his eyes on something in the back ground as Katniss proceeded to wrap the torn cloth around his hand,"Yes, I'm feeling a little more like myself."

Katniss glanced up towards his face as her hands tightly formed the bandage to his hand, "You're going to feel awful after it wears off."

Peeta lifted his free hand to rub at the side of his face, "I know, I've dealt with it before. You give the client what they want, right?"

Katniss kept silent as she gritted her teeth, she could feel her pulse rise as she thought of how much Peeta had been victimized. She had a general knowledge of what a companion was expected to do but it never really occurred to her how horrible it really was until she saw Peeta with his shoulders hunched and his complexion pale.

She looked up to a vacant expression in his usually bright blue eyes, her stomach tightened as she felt a sense of grief.

After she tied the ends of the cloth together to secure the bandage, Katniss settled on her knees, her hands going back to his shoulders to bend him forward.

She had remembered the red markings on his back from before and she wanted to ensure that an infection couldn't take root. He was once again too easy to manipulate as the top of his head rested against her chest.

She shivered slightly from the contact, she had forgotten about her state of dress. She had entered the bathroom in her nightgown which had a low neckline, and his hair which was soaked wet from his sweat, chilled her flushed chest.

Katniss pushed the sensations back in her mind, as she inspected his back. Long scratches, most being only shallow, covered his bare back.

A few had already begun to heal but she spotted at least two in which the skin around the wound had begun to swell. Her chest rose and fell with his breathing as he pressed his head into her, bracing himself with her stability.

It was hard for her not to become lost in his proximity, but she knew that she was the only one at the moment who could help him, and she needed to keep her attention on the task at hand.

Katniss reached over to her side for a wet cloth, which she knew to be soaked in the liquor she had used before. He moaned deeply as the alcohol met the scratches but he soon fell back into his steady breathing. Katniss was almost done with his back when she could hear him murmuring something below her.

Katniss raised an eyebrow," What was that?"

Peeta lifted his head his breath heating the cool bare skin of her chest, before she sat down in front of him. Peeta straightened his back, soaked blond bangs hanging in his eye line.

Peeta swallowed," I'm broken aren't I?"

Katniss shook her head, as she reached her hand up to his bangs scooting the strands from in front of his eyes," Peeta-"

Peeta kept his eyes averted from hers," It's true I am-"

Katniss continued to smooth his hair back out of his eyes," No, it's not true," she leaned her head to the side studying his face," you're kind, and charming. Things have been done to you that aren't right, but it doesn't mean that those things have to define who you are unless you allow them to."

Peeta righted his eyes, connecting with hers. Katniss felt a warm sensation travelling up her arm, as his bandaged hand found hers. He held her hand to his temple and she curled her fingers into her palm, lightly smoothing his skin there.

Peeta reached up with his other hand, moving it up her arm slowly before resting it on her shoulder. His fingers twisted into the strap of her nightgown, causing the neck line to fall low enough that the top of her breasts were easily visible. Katniss could feel her head becoming light from his touch, every time he would twist the fabric, she could feel a heat radiating up to her face.

He was being dangerously affectionate with her and she was aware of how the drug effected someone's actions, inhibitions were lowered and sexual drive was heightened. A part of her wanted to allow him roam her body but she knew his current state of mind was compromised, and to take advantage of his advances would make her as despicable as his clients.

Katniss lowered her hand from his face, his fingers holding on tight to her until she tugged free. She had assumed when she pulled back he would follow suite but his free hand went to the side of her face, pulling her towards him.

Katniss could feel her pulse race as he closed his eyes, his face dangerously close to hers. Time stopped as everything became abnormally slow, she could feel the soft skin from his bottom lip graze hers, before she pulled back quickly.

Katniss fell back on her hands as she tried to brace herself from knocking her head against the tile," Peeta, no."

His hands were still reaching out, as he opened his eyes, she could see the guilt coming over him and she sighed as she stood up, bending over to help him up.

"You need to rest. Let me help you to bed."

His weight was heavy on her petite frame, as she held on tightly to his bicep, not wanting to injure his bandaged hand. His legs were wobbly as they slowly walked to the section of the suite which held his bed. His room was similarly decorated to hers, and the scent of roses held in the air.

The last couple of steps were rushed and clumsy as the weight of his body pressing into hers was draining any energy she had. Katniss laid him onto the silk bedding as gently as she could, the weight of his body leaving hers.

Peeta settled into the bed, she stood there watching him before she turned to leave. His hand reached out catching her by the wrist, his fingers gently curling around the bone structure.

Peeta smiled softly as though he was drifting off into a sweet dream," You are so beautiful but you always were, even when we were kids."

Katniss opened her mouth to speak when his voice filled the quiet room again," Please stay. I don't want to be alone."

Katniss could feel her heart break, as she nodded sitting down onto ground, her wrist still clutched in his hand as his breathing became steady, signaling he had fallen asleep. Katniss watched him closely, as she could feel something change in her.

She had been given a chance to see him utterly vulnerable, and she hadn't run away. Which only proved to her that she had begun to fall in love with Peeta Mellark.

* * *

He could feel the pain in his hand and back before he even opened his eyes, he was also hesitant to discover the source of his pain. He had been under the influence of the drug before, afterwards he had almost no recollection of the time spent. He did have faint memories of some of the hallucinations which were always vivid, and usually resulted in himself becoming injured.

The warmth from the sun filtering through the window rose from his chest to travel up his face, Peeta attempted to move the arm which felt fine, but a weight seemed to be holding it down. He moaned to himself fearful to open his eyes and see that a client had stayed in his room.

He had always made it a priority to not bring back his work to his room, it was the only place of solace he had in the Capitol, and he wanted to keep something for himself. His body had been used long ago and his mind was eventually going to be theirs too, but for now he wanted to just be Peeta if for only a few hours.

Another reason for his refusal was that now Katniss was part of the equation, and he couldn't risk one of the socialites becoming jealous of the district born hand maiden. Because if even one of his clients felt threatened by Katniss, then there was a chance that she would be taken from him at any moment, and he couldn't allow that to happen.

He breathed in deeply before opening his eyes only slightly, before peering down to his chest where a mass of dark curls laid there. A few of the strands were pushed up beneath his chin and he could feel a slight tickle from the contact.

Peeta turned his head slowly to the side and down to see the top of her head, she was lying on his arm while her free arm, which wasn't trapped underneath her body like her other, was drawn over the span of his bare chest. His breath caught in his throat when he realized he was only partially dressed, and Katniss seemed to be wearing one of her nightgowns.

The hem had bunched up below her bottom over the night and the neck line had fallen enough to show most of her right breast. Peeta turned his head quickly averting his eyes and cursing himself for even trying to watch her. He felt sick from the drug, but even in his weakened state he still felt aroused by her presence.

He couldn't help but be frustrated with himself for having feelings for her, it was impossible to have a future with her, but he would catch himself imagining having a family with her.

Peeta lifted up his free hand to lightly smack his forehead for his stupidity, he had to stifle the cry attempting to escape his lips as the wound on his palm began to pulse. He held his hand up in the air examining the bandage, he assumed Katniss had done it, the edges straight and clean.

Peeta turned on his side careful not to trap her hair beneath their bodies, her arm fell between them, as Peeta reached out to her face. She looked so peaceful, as her lashes fluttered, he wanted to know what she was dreaming of.

The side of his thumb began to trace along her cheek bone, traveling down to her lips. The air in the room suddenly became warm and Peeta could feel his stomach tighten. He was utterly and without a question in love with her, everything about her was beautiful.

He placed his thumb onto her lips as his other fingers rested at her chin. He could feel his temptation to kiss her rising as she began to stir.

Peeta drew his hand back as her eyes opened, the deep gray adjusting to the sun light shining down on her body. She breathed out as she stretched her legs out, the warm air spreading over the expanse of Peeta's bare chest.

Katniss opened her eyes wide trying to wake herself up as her fingers grazed over his exposed skin, Peeta's body betrayed him as he shivered from her touch, causing Katniss to be suddenly aware of their proximity and state of dress.

Her eyes traveled down to her chest, before a deep blush forms at her cheeks and with her free hand she pulled up the fabric. However now that the neck line was lifted, the hem of the gown had now met the top elastic of her panties.

Feeling the sudden contact of air at her legs, Katniss let out a loud gasp as she tugged the forgotten sheet over her bare legs. Peeta has to stifle a laugh, but still the sound escaped his lips as Katniss glared at him while she grasped the sheet holding it to her body.

The room is nearly silent with the only sound in the room being their breathing, Peeta can feel his pulse race as he watches her closely. Katniss kept her eyes on the ceiling, while Peeta cleared his throat.

"Why are you in my bed?"

Katniss turned her head over to him, her brow raised," You don't remember?"

Peeta shook his head, his bangs falling around his eyes," No, I'm afraid I was on something last night-"

"Mescaline. You had injured yourself and I bandaged you up," Katniss breathed in deeply," You don't remember anything at all?"

Peeta shifted his weight, as he closed the gap between their bodies," No, not really. Why? Did I do something unforgivable?"

Katniss cleared her throat, before shaking her head her dark curls falling around her shoulders," No, you were a perfect gentleman."

Peets frowned," Well that's disappointing."

Katniss smiled wide as he began to laugh," So tell me how exactly did you end up next to me?"

Katniss sat up, scooting her back up against the head board, the sheet still clutched in her hands," You had taken a hold of my wrist before you fell asleep and I had sat down on the floor. But not long after you started to scream out my name and you kept apologizing for leaving," Peeta shifted his weight again as he became nervous that he had betrayed his secret," And you kept muttering something about paint chipped walls and fairies. I assumed it was just the drug inducing hallucinations again."

"And you crawled into my bed? While I was half naked?"

Katniss slapped at his shoulder," You make it sound dirty. You wouldn't stop calling out until I held you."

Peeta lets out a laugh as he sits up joining her at the front of the bed. He winces as his back makes contact with the head board, the cuts still raw and healing.

With a steady hand, Peeta reaches out to her face moving her curls to her back," Thank you for taking care of me."

Katniss looks at him as she tries to ignore the feel of his hand lingering at her back his fingers tangling in her hair," What else was I supposed to do?"

Peeta smiled softly before leaning into her, the room goes silent again as all she can hear is her heart beat drumming in her ears. It's as if the memory of last night is replaying in her mind but it's actually happening. She's tempted not to pull away, but her fear perseveres, as she places a hand at his chest stopping him.

She shakes her head before swinging her legs over the side of the bed, her back to him," I can't. I'm sorry."

Peeta runs his hands through his hair as he closes his eyes regretful for his foolish behavior," No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Katniss jumped up turning around with her arms folded over her chest," No, it's fine don't apologize."

Katniss' eyes began to dart around the room like a frightened animal as Peeta began to stand from the bed," Katniss-"

Katniss backed up, her nails digging into her bare arms," I should really go to my room. You need your privacy."

Peeta watched her run from the room, her dark curls flying behind her. The image of her form was a memory as she disappeared through the door leading into the main room. He sighed heavily, as his regret and the pain from his injuries set in.

Peeta glanced down to his chest and arm where tiny dried droplets of blood sat. He reasoned that a shower would make him feel better and perhaps he would be able to rest before they were needed to travel back to twelve.

When he entered the bathroom, the odor of dried blood assaulted him, as he fought the urge to gag.

A pool of blood had already dried onto the white tile, as a collection of cloths and a bottle of liquor sat beside a silver bowl. Peeta assumed it had been what Katniss used to clean him up and he had to be impressed by her ingenuity .

He bent down pushing his boxers down low enough so he could use his feet to pull them off the rest of the way.

He stepped into the shower as the motion sensor triggered the stream of water to fall onto his battered body. The soap dispenser above his head began to spray onto his body, Peeta closed his eyes, the image of the gray eyed girl a room away flooded his mind, and he willed his body not to react.

Peeta bathed quickly, before stepping out and wrapping a cotton towel around the lower half of his body. The scratches at his back stung from the soap seeping in, and the bandage Katniss had fashioned was now soaked in water.

He sighed as he pushed the door open, walking into his room, he was so preoccupied with his injured hand, that he almost missed her presence.

He looked up slowly to find her standing in the middle of his room, still dressed in her nightgown.

"Katniss?"

Katniss fiddled with the hem of her gown her eyes staring into his," I did want to kiss you… I do."

Peeta's body began to shake as he watched her, her dark hair was covering most of her chest, as her breathing caused pieces to fall by her side. Peeta sighed before walking to her, his legs suddenly feeling heavy like lead, Katniss stood in place as he closed the gap between their two bodies.

The air in the room suddenly became warm and Peeta could feel his bare skin rising in goose bumps. His eyes were unwavering as their faces were only separated by inches, as Katniss dropped her eyes in a nervous habit. Peeta reached up with both his hands, placing his palms over her ears, his fingers tangling in her dark hair.

He lifted her face up enough that it was impossible for her not to make eye contact with him. Peeta could see the fear in her eyes, he too could feel his anxiety rising. He could finally kiss her again, but this time it would be as two grown people coming together through a need to feel and not as two children finding innocent comfort in one another.

Katniss kept her hands down by her side, but Peeta could feel the back of her hands brushing up against the skin just above his towel. Shivers traveled up his torso, as her touches both tickled and excited him. They were at a standstill as neither one moved, their breathing mingling into warmth which brushed against the others face.

Sighing quietly, Peeta leaned in slowly, giving her enough time to back out, he was expecting for her to push him away, so when his lips finally met hers, his eyes opened wide.

Katniss' eyes were closed as her lashes fluttered, Peeta smiled into her mouth before pressing into her enough to increase the pressure. It was like a slow burn had ignited, Peeta could feel his stomach tighten and he wanted nothing more than to lift her up and take her over to his bed so that he could explore her body. His mind was racing as to what to do next when he felt her tongue push against his bottom lip, asking for permission.

Peeta was more than pleased when he opened his mouth to her, tilting his head to the side, his fingers curling into her hair more. Their tongues pushed against each other, Katniss moaned softly which in turn caused Peeta to do so as well.

He was so lost in the feel of her mouth on his that he almost jumped back when her hands travelled up his sides, tickling the skin there, to land at his bare chest. Every part of him was tingling and he could begin to feel his body betray him, he cursed his luck for only wearing a towel. He knew it was safe to assume she could feel his arousal pressed up against her as their bodies closed the gap.

The silk of her nightgown bunched against his skin, as Katniss began to move her body against his slowly. Peeta felt dizzy from the contact as he tried in vain to hold back his need. His hands traveled from her hair down to her shoulders, the straps of her gown had fallen, and Peeta could feel the top of her breasts pressing into him.

Her skin was smooth but it held a natural feel to it, even after all the waxing and scrubs, unlike the women of the Capitol whose treatments over the years had diminished any organic properties. He could feel his need winning out against his better judgment as his mind began to shut off and something simpler took over. He needed to feel her, he needed to have her feel him, the want was more powerful than anything he had ever felt.

Peeta was more than surprised when she began to pull away, her face inches from his as her hands curled into her chest. Peeta could feel the absence already beginning to swallow him whole when he opened his eyes to see her watching him. His hands were still at her shoulders when she backed away, his hands falling to his sides, after hanging in the air for a few seconds.

Her face was flushed and her lips swollen, as her hair was a mass of messed curls. He felt a quiet pride in knowing he was cause of her appearance. He could only imagine what he looked like, as she smiled softly.

Katniss blushed deeply before dropping her head," I've imagined kissing you more than once."

Peeta could feel his chest tighten," Did it match up to your fantasy?"

Katniss looked up gently smiling," It was better," she swallowed hard before continuing," but I think we both know what could have happened if I hadn't pulled away."

Peeta nodded," I know, but I wasn't afraid to go there."

Tears began to fill her eyes," But maybe I am."

Peeta attempted to close the gap," Katniss-"

Katniss stumbled back," I know that coming here and kissing you was foolish, but I just wanted to feel what it was like if only once," Katniss coughed trying to push her tears down," I should really go ready our things for the trip back to the district."

Katniss turned to walk out, she was to the door when Peeta spoke up," Katniss for what it's worth, I've thought of kissing you too."

Katniss partially turned so only her profile was visible," It's worth a lot."

Peeta smiled softly as the door swung closed behind her, his body was still buzzing form the rush of having her close. It wasn't until the thought of having to travel back home hit him that he felt sick.

He couldn't hold off telling her about Darius for very much longer, and he was aware of how short their time would be together after her courting would begin. Peeta worked his fingers through his hair as he attempted to gain his composure.

* * *

He could feel his pulse stabilizing until he let out a gasp of air and tears filled his eyes before rushing down his cheeks. His body crumpled to the ground as he quietly mourned the loss of the woman he loved.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading as please REVIEW!


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review, favorite, and track this story. It means a lot to me, and ensures that I keep writing._

_I also I want to thank Wildharp for continuing to Beta for me. You're the best, buddy!_

Chapter Eight

The curtains at the window flew in the room as the warm gust of spring air filled the space. The skin at her back reacted to the temperature causing a slight chill to travel down her spine, as the delicate fabric of her dress did nothing to keep her warm.

She curled the ends of her hair with her fingers, willing the strands to keep form. The curls unfolded momentarily before springing back as Katniss released her fingers.

She reached to the vanity where a floral scented powder sat, the pink poof sitting on top of it, Katniss took the applicator, covering it in the thick powder. She had to admit she was intimidated by the shiny scented material, and to be honest she saw the need to cover one's face in product to be utterly ludicrous.

But she knew the protocol, or at least she had been instructed, when a female was being courted, the women of the Capitol were covered in different products, their faces barely recognizable when in its natural state. Katniss scrunched up her nose as she slapped the cotton applicator on her cheek, a cloud of powder exploded into the air.

She began to choke as the makeup flew up her nose and into her throat. The floral scent was nauseating and Katniss choked as it attempted to coat her throat, in disgust she threw the poof down onto the vanity.

She opened her mouth, her tongue stretched as she choked, her hands waving in the air vainly attempting to clear it of the mess. When she was pleased with her efforts, the powder now completely dissipated, Katniss caught her reflection in the mirror.

She caught the scream forming at her throat, as she closed her mouth, horrified with what she was seeing. A circle the size of the powder applicator, was now visible at her cheek, the ivory colored powder a contrast to her olive skin.

Katniss frantically rubbed at her cheek until it felt raw, most of the powder was now gone, as she sighed in relief. She lowered her hand surveying her appearance, a wave of dread came over her.

The reflection looking back at her was nothing above average, there was nothing extraordinary about the way she looked. Her skin tone was somewhere between fair and tanned with no definite definition as lightly colored freckles covered the bridge of her nose.

Katniss groaned as she turned to the side, her nose was slightly pointed up and she debated if cackling like a witch was needed. She pulled at her dark curls, cursing the mass of strands, they were always unruly and on humid days the tiny hairs at her forehead would curl and frizz.

And if she could manage with her mess of strands, she still felt undeveloped when it came to her body. She had to reason that the lack of proper nutrition and scheduled eating had prolonged any type of progression when it came to development.

But even then, she didn't feel any more confident with how her hips would bleed into her rib cage, where curves should be, and how her breasts were so small she really didn't need the support of a bra. And even if she could deal with having the stature of a ten year old boy, her gangly limbs were hard to ignore.

Katniss looked down examining her boney knees, as she kicked her legs out, examining their length. She smiled at the tone that had begun to form from having the opportunity to eat daily.

She looked back up at herself in the mirror, her lips were shiny from the gloss she had applied, the sunlight filtering in bounced off of the gloss. Katniss shivered slightly as the memory of his lips on hers came flooding back, she could still feel his tongue graze against her bottom lip as he pressed her body into his.

Peeta's hands on her shoulders had made her dizzy, and she had wanted for his hands to roam her body. The thought had frightened her, because she reasoned that if they were to go to a place so intimate then she was sure to be lost in him.

He had already invaded her thoughts most of the time, but now after feeling him so close, and having him accept her enough to kiss her in such a way, Peeta was almost the only thing she thought of.

Katniss cleared her throat as she smoothed her blue shift dress down, the hem stopping at mid thigh. Her palms had already begun to sweat, and she felt as though she was going to have to vomit.

She wasn't experienced in the affairs of the heart, and to be fair she had spent most of her life living in a sewer pipe which wasn't a place she had to worry about impressing the opposite sex.

Katniss shook her head as she reminded herself that courting was more like a business arrangement and wasn't to be observed as something romantic.

She ran her fingers through her hair, as she worked out the last remaining tangles. Her mind drifted back to Peeta, and the way his strong hands felt on the side of her face, his fingers tangling in the hair she was now touching.

She had felt nervous when waiting for him to board the train, the scheduled time to travel back to the district was fast approaching and still Peeta wasn't to be seen.

A Capitol attendant with orange hair had escorted her from the hotel to the train, when she had inquired about Peeta the man politely yet condescendingly informed her that Peeta was to make his own way to the train alone in due time.

Katniss reasoned with herself that he must have had last minute companion duties to attend to and their moment of intimacy had nothing to do with his actions. The silence of the train as she waited was constricting, as Katniss nervously pulled at the neck line of her dress.

She pushed her dark hair behind her, as one of the female attendants, her body dyed in a light shade of pink, brought in a flute of blue liquid. Katniss mutely took the glass, placing the rim at her nose before giving it a quick sniff.

A sweet sugary aroma wafted up her nostrils, she could place the faint scent of berry. Katniss peered into the glass before shrugging her shoulders, her hand placing the rim to her mouth before tipping it to the side. She nearly jumped back when warm fingers covered her mouth, shocked Katniss looked up to see Peeta watching her.

His pointer and middle fingers were still pressed up against her lips, while his other hand curled over the lip of the glass. He pulled the glass from her mouth, his fingers still placed there.

They both stood there frozen, Peeta with his hand still at her mouth, while she watched him with wide eyes. Katniss released the glass as Peeta pulled his hand back, the warmth of his touch fleeting.

Peeta smirked at her," You don't want to drink that?"

Katniss fiddled with the ends of her curls nervously," More vomiting juice?"

A wide smile formed at his lips," Yeah."

Katniss involuntarily darted her tongue out, licking her lips, as Peeta placed the glass full of the blue liquid on one of the silver serving trays as an attendant walked past him. The man in green glanced back at her as he disappeared through one of the automated sliding doors leading out of the main cabin.

Katniss ducked her head as Peeta rubbed his hands on his pant legs before seating," They really don't like me."

Peeta shrugged," They just don't know what to do with you," Katniss turned around to see his face become serious but his expression was still soft," I can relate."

Katniss blushed as she joined Peeta on the deep purple sofa, forming her dress to the back of her legs before she sat down. She was suddenly aware of how close his leg was to hers, as the fabric of his pants pressed into the bare skin of her leg.

Having his upper body only inches from hers was nerve racking, she could still remember the feel of his bare skin when she had placed her hands there as they kissed. Katniss could sense the tension coming off of him in waves and she hoped that the awkwardness between them would lessen.

She kept her eyes forward as the train began to leave the station, Peeta shifted in his seat beside her, causing his leg to brush hers, sending a tingling sensation up her side. She cursed herself for allowing a man to make her feel so silly, but the warmth forming in her stomach was inviting.

Katniss fiddled with the hem of her dress, desperately needing something to do with her idle hands as Peeta sighed, letting out a long heavy breath. Katniss could feel her pulse speed up, sensing that the time to have a certain conversation was soon to occur.

Peeta turned to look at her, his blue eyes worried," Katniss, we need to talk about something-"

Katniss shifted her body, turning into Peeta as she pressed her right knee into his thigh," I know that waiting in your room while you were taking a shower was completely inappropriate," Katniss took a deep breath as she began to ramble again," and then telling you I wanted to kiss you and then to actually kiss you… I shouldn't have said that-"

Peeta cleared his throat," Katniss-"

Katniss held her hand up ," But I'm glad that we at least for a few seconds were able to feel what it was like."

Peeta reached up taking her hand in his, his fingers enveloped her smaller hand," I'm glad too, but that wasn't what I wanted to speak about."

Katniss swallowed hard, she could already feel the blush creeping up from her chest onto her neck and up her cheeks," It wasn't?"

Peeta shook his head, squeezing her hand tighter," No."

Katniss felt foolish and embarrassed, "Alright."

Peeta look down at their joined hands before looking back up into her eyes," There's been a request to court you, Katniss."

Katniss could feel her stomach tense," What?"

Peeta forced a tight smile," Apparently you made quite an impression on one of the Lords."

Katniss began to panic," I refuse to be involved with Lord Cato-"

"No, it wasn't him. A Lord by the name of Darius is the one interested."

She furrowed her brow in confusion until the image of a handsome young man with red hair came to mind," Oh yes, I remember him. He was kind."

Peeta reached his free hand up placing it at her cheek," He is kind, and his family is severely well endowed."

Katniss narrowed her eyes," Do you think I care about money?"

Peeta tilted his head to the side," That wasn't what I meant. But it would ensure that you have a more than comfortable life," Peeta began to lightly rub his thumb against her skin," and I want that for you."

Katniss nodded as she fought her tears back," When does the courting begin?"

Peeta dropped his hand, before releasing his grip on her other," Tomorrow."

"How long have you known about this?"

Peeta sat up straight repositioning in his seat," Since before we left for the Capitol."

Katniss faced forward before she scooted a few inches from him," Why did you wait so long?"

She could hear him exhale slowly," I wanted to keep you to myself if only for a few days."

Katniss turned to him slowly," But I wasn't yours to keep."

A knock at her door pulled her from the memory, causing her to jump. Katniss swatted away the few stray hairs which had caught in her lip gloss. She moaned loudly before turning away from the mirror to walk over to the door opening it.

She assumed it would be Peeta, and she had to admit to herself that seeing him if only for a second would help some of her self doubt, but seeing Hazelle stand there instead caused the disappointment in her to rise.

The older brunette with the soft eyes took in Katniss' appearance, the smile she had was now gone as her eyes widened in surprise.

Hazelle placed a hand at her chest," Oh, sweetie."

Katniss furrowed her brow, her bottom lip sticking out in confusion," What?"

Hazelle shook her head before taking Katniss by the shoulders and ushering her back into the room, "Come on, let's see if we can do some improvements."

Katniss slowed as Hazelle moved her into the room fully, her hands going to the hem of her dress, straightening the fabric," What else is there to do?"

Hazelle laughed lightly before turning Katniss around to face her," Well first off, let's take the hair off of your lips," Katniss puckered her lips as Hazelle carefully pulled the strands free," And what happened to the side of your face?"

Katniss rubbed defensively at the side of her face where the powder had been," I was doing what I remember the prep team had done."

Hazelle's smile was back as she lightly blended in the powder with the pads of her fingers," It's alright. You should have seen how I looked when I first used my mother's rouge," Hazelle looked over to Katniss' eyes where she could already see defeat," But to be reasonable, make up was never really a necessity when you were more concerned about not starving to death."

Katniss nodded," Yes, but I feel like I'm left behind. And it's not only the make up but everything that I'm now required to know."

Hazelle combed her fingers through Katniss' hair," Like what, honey?"

Katniss shrugged as her face fell," Everything. I have no idea how it's supposed to feel when being courted, it wasn't a concern of mine when I was struggling to survive in the orphanage and later in the sewer. It's like I was born for another life and now everyone assumes that living one of a hand maiden and now a courtier is going to be as easy as breathing."

Hazelle moved her hands to the sides of Katniss' face," Katniss, you can only do your best, and no one should make you feel less for doing so."

Katniss shook her head as a few tears fell," But wouldn't I be less, if I don't rise up to expectations?"

Hazelle moved her hands back to Katniss' curls," I think the real question is whose expectations are you worried about meeting."

Katniss nodded as she forced a smile," I can do this. How difficult can it be to be courted?"

Hazelle nodded in agreement," See, there you have the right attitude. And not to mention it's saying something about you, being able to catch the attention of a highly sought after Lord."

Katniss scratched the side of her head, as Hazelle walked over to the closet," Darius? He's highly sought after? Why?"

Hazelle came out of the closet with a pair of white dainty heels," I would assume Peeta has already told you of how wealthy his family is."

Katniss nodded as she took the shoes from her," Yes. He said they were severely well endowed."

Hazelle tilted her head to the side as she helped a wobbling Katniss into her shoes," Sweetie, describing it as severely well endowed is being modest. They own a better half of the Capitol, their money is rooted back generations."

Katniss could feel herself becoming sick as she righted her posture," Why would he want to court me then? Do you think it's a cruel joke?"

Hazelle placed her hands on Katniss' shoulders," Katniss, you shouldn't work yourself up so much, and to be honest I'm sure he's become sick and bored of all the insipid Capitol born handmaidens he's had to deal with so far."

Katniss looked down at her feet," So I'm just some rare commodity? The only handmaiden who's unlucky enough to be district born?"

Hazelle moved Katniss' hair to her back," That isn't what I meant. You need to give yourself more credit for how special you really are."

Katniss shuffled her feet," But I'm terrified."

Hazelle sighed," And it's alright to be, but you can't let it hold you back."

Katniss nodded as she caught her reflection in the mirror," Alright," Katniss surveyed her hair which was now kept, as was the gloss on her lips and the powder which had once been an eyesore before," I think I'm ready."

Hazelle smiled as she placed her hand at the small of Katniss' back helping her move forward. The door felt further away than it should, and Katniss could feel the nerves at her stomach tightening. She closed her eyes willing her nerves to calm as Hazelle helped her into the hallway.

She could feel Hazelle pull her hand away, with the absence of the support, Katniss began to wobble on the heels. She could feel herself falling to the side until a strong hand wrapped around her bicep. She didn't need to open her eyes to recognize the touch, his fingers pressed into her skin until she was once again standing straight.

Katniss opened her eyes to see Peeta looking down at her with an amused expression, as he released her arm.

"You know it is easier to stand and ultimately walk if you keep your eyes open."

Katniss breathed in deeply before speaking," Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind."

Peeta ducked his head for a second, laughing lightly to himself," You do that."

His blond bangs fell into his eyes, the tips of the strands were covered in green paint. Katniss assumed it was from him having to push his hair back, as he leaned over the canvas to paint. Peeta nervously reached up smoothing his hair back, his fingers stained in an array of paint, the action proving her suspicion.

Katniss' eyes traveled down his arms to find the skin there also covered in paint, streaks of acrylic traveled up to his shoulders meeting the fabric of white undershirt he now wore.

Katniss reached out playfully pulling at the paint stained shirt, pinching an inch of fabric between her fingers before releasing it, causing it to spring back to his body. Her fingers lingered in the space between them before they fell back to her side.

"I see you've been painting," Katniss looked back up to his face to find paint there as well," A lot."

Peeta nodded as he rubbed his chin where stubble had begun to form," Yeah. I decided that the wood pile was already over flowing so I should give painting a chance."

Katniss tried to avoid his blue eyes, but she kept being drawn there," And has it helped with whatever you're dealing with?"

Peeta shrugged," It hasn't hurt."

Katniss pulled at the ends of her curls trying to distract herself from the intensity of his eyes," Maybe I should try it, then."

Peeta laughed," I wouldn't mind seeing you covered in paint again."

Katniss swallowed hard as she remembered the way his body had felt when it hovered over hers, after they had had their paint fight.

And as quickly as the memory came another replaced it as the sensation of his lips against hers flooded her mind and the warmth of his bare skin against her palms threatened to drown her.

Sweat had formed around his brow mixing with the paint, causing his skin to glow as the sun reflected off of the moisture. She could feel the familiar tingling sensation from beneath her stomach as he watched her, and she needed to distract herself.

Katniss looked away from him, scanning the room as she nervously clapped her hands together," So what are you painting?"

Peeta shook his head, running his hands through his hair again," It's not important. The reason I came out of the room was to tell you that Lord Darius will be coming to twelve to escort you to the Capitol."

This caught her attention as she quickly looked back over to Peeta," What? Is that a normal occurrence?"

Peeta shook his head causing a piece of hair to escape from behind his ear," No, not normally. But you are special."

Katniss rolled her eyes, her annoyance over coming some of her nerves," I'm fed up with having to hear how special I am for being a handmaiden who happens to be a district born, like it's some sort of disability to be born poor. When in fact I think it gives me an advantage over the other girls, because I appreciate what I'm given because I've gone without."

Peeta reached up to the side of her face, his fingers tangling in the hair there," Yes, being district born gives you a fresh perspective," his fingers lightly brushed her skin as they played with the strands there," but that's not what makes you special."

Katniss could feel herself becoming lost in his eyes as his hand trailed down from her temple to end at the crease of her mouth. She could feel her body begin to shake, as Peeta stepped into the space between them. The air in the room had become suddenly warm, the light touch of his fingers at her mouth wasn't helping.

A creaking sound from the board at the end of the stairs caused them to jump a part, Peeta's hand falling to his side as Katniss smoothed the front of her dress down, nervously trying to look busy.

Hazelle who they both assumed hadn't seen their exchange called up for Katniss to come down to the first floor. Katniss walked to the banister, stealing a glance over to Peeta who had already begun to walk back to the room where he painted.

His back was to her as she descended down the stairs, the curls at her back bouncing as she attempted to walk in her heels without falling.

Peeta turned around to see her walk down the stairs, the blue of her dress caused her dark hair to almost glow. He had been determined not to touch her or to even console her, but with most things where Katniss was concerned, all the plans he constructed were usually null and void when he was around her.

He needed to paint to take his mind off of the fact that she was to begin courting and this eventually led to marriage. It was the beginning of the end for any hope he had to be in her life.

Katniss could feel her heart race as she stumbled down the stairs, her feet continually threatened to turn on their side bending at the ankle. She could feel the sweat bead at her forehead and she cursed herself for already perspiring.

It was safe to assume that the Capitol born handmaidens didn't sweat when meeting a prospective suitor. She reached out using the banister for leverage as she made it to the last step, Hazelle was there with a hand out to help her the rest of the way.

Katniss stepped down onto the first floor of the foyer, the heels of her shoes clicking on the wooden boards. She gripped Hazelle's hand tight, before the older woman pulled her hand free.

"Sorry dear, but you have to do this on your own."

Katniss smiled lightly as she walked further into the foyer with Hazelle close behind. The echoing of her shoes filled her ears as the blood began running behind her ear drums. The rhythmic sequence of both caused her footsteps to mimic the beats.

Katniss could feel the blush rising back up her chest, as she noticed his auburn hair across the room. His back was to her, as she couldn't help but compare his stature to Peeta's. Where her resident companion's shoulders were wide and sturdy, the young Lord had more of narrower build.

The lines of his suit were clean like before, and as Katniss approached she could see where his biceps filled out the material. He may be smaller than Peeta in build but he was more toned than she would have guessed.

Katniss was lost in studying him as Hazelle cleared her throat from behind. Katniss miss-stepped due to being startled, but steadied herself before Darius turned around. He had been looking up studying the architecture of the house, his face still tilted up when she turned around to face them.

His movements were slow and exact, Katniss assumed from years of etiquette, as he finally met her eyes. The soft inviting smile from the Capitol ball was back at his lips as he took in the sight of her. Katniss felt vulnerable under his stare as she debated turning the other way and retreating to her room. Darius ,with a grace she wasn't sure she even possessed, walked over to Katniss, his hand outstretched to receive hers.

It took her a few seconds before she remembered the greeting from her lessons with Peeta on propriety. She could feel how clammy her hands had become and she shook slightly as she extended her arm out.

His fingers were soft and not calloused from brandishing an axe for cutting wood or holding the paint brush from painting like Peeta. It was odd to have another man hold her hand, she was relieved when she realized his touch didn't incite the same sensation as Peeta's. This both excited her and saddened her, to think that feeling that rush of sensations was rare, and would only happen when she was with Peeta, because soon she wouldn't be.

She was lost in thought about the painter upstairs when she felt Daruis' lips gently brush her knuckles in greeting. Hazelle sighed behind her, as the blush rushed up her ear lobes. Darius released her hand, and Katniss let it fall to her side, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her dress with a nervous energy.

Darius smiled at her," Miss Everdeen I have to say that you look lovely. It's pleasant to know that your beauty isn't exclusive only to balls."

Katniss ducked her head as she pushed the right side of her hair behind her ears," Thank you, Lord."

Darius nodded as he looked over Katniss to speak with Hazelle," Is the Companion Mellark available? I'd love to say hello."

Katniss' back straightened at the mention of Peeta, but Hazelle's answer calmed her fears," I'm so sorry, my Lord but Companion Mellark is indisposed as of the moment."

Darius nodded," That's a shame, perhaps another time?"

Hazelle smiled softly," Perhaps."

Katniss could hear him step forward towards her, his dress shoes came into view while she still had her head down. She looked up slowly to see him offering her an arm, signaling the time for their departure. Katniss took his arm, hooking her elbow with his, the tone of his muscles pressing against hers.

Darius began to lead her out the door, Katniss stole a glance back at Hazelle who offered a small smile and a wave. She could tell that Darius was a kind man but she couldn't help the knowing feeling that she was being sold into something she didn't consent to.

As they walked across the grounds of the manor, Katniss missed the figure watching from the second floor window, his heart slowly breaking as he watched her fleeting form.

The walk to the train was short, before they arrived at the entry way where an awaiting attendant holding a silver tray of drinks and small iced pastries was positioned at the door.

Katniss allowed Darius to lead her to the main compartment as she settled into one of the velvet seats, her petite frame sinking into the inviting fabric. She watched as Darius kindly ordered the staff to their designated areas.

It wasn't until the train was moving at full speed she allowed herself to relax. Katniss looked out the double pained glass as district twelve and the rest of the world flew by outside her window.

The Capitol with its cold buildings and flash was their destination, and Katniss couldn't help the dread that filled her. She had at least had Peeta at her side the last time she had travelled there, but now she was with a stranger whose motives she hadn't figured out yet.

The mood in the cabin was strained and somber, as Darius tried to engage her in small talk while Katniss fiddled with the hem of her dress nervously, her attention on the blur of colors rushing by the window.

Her fingers knotted in the fabric, she could feel the stitching loosening but her anxiety was rising and she needed something to do, having idle hands would only make the rising panic stronger.

Katniss stared out the window, she kept her eyes on the passing outside world, until she felt a warm hand cover hers. The shock of the action hadn't worn off when she looked down to her thigh where her fingers had stopped twisting the hem of her dress, to see his fair skinned hand gently on top of hers.

His touch was light, and didn't seem to have any expectations. Katniss looked up to her side where Darius was watching her, his green eyes were calm and sincere, a small smile stretching over his lips.

"It is alright to be nervous, Miss Everdeen. Even in the most relaxed of situations courting can be nerve wracking."

Katniss nodded, her eyes wandering to the wall behind him," Thank you for being so understanding. I know it must be trying for you to have to escort a woman of my standing."

Darius brow creased as he watched her closely," I hope you will be able to see me in a different light than other Capitol borns. Because when I look at you I don't see someone beneath me, I see a woman with potential and grace."

Katniss' mouth opened wide, he had surprised her by his answer and she struggled to find the words to express how much she may have misunderstood him.

She searched her mind, but nothing was presenting itself when one of the attendants entered the room to announce that their arrival to the Capitol was nearing. Darius nodded to the man in recognition, as he stood up, his right hand still placed on top of Katniss'. She wrapped her fingers around his and allowed him to pull her upright, their bodies a few inches apart.

She found herself again comparing his frame to Peeta's and she wondered how long it would take for her to stop thinking of Peeta in a manner of being more than an employer. Katniss could feel herself becoming dizzy, the image of Peeta kissing her came over her, causing her knees to almost buckle.

Darius grabbed hold of her other shoulder with his free hand, helping to keep her standing," Woah. Are you alright?"

Katniss placed her hand at her forehead as Darius held onto her," Yes, I'm fine thank you. I think I just stood up too fast."

Darius gave her a small smile before he released her shoulder," That's nice to hear, because I'm looking forward to showing you where we're going to spend our outing."

Katniss could feel her pulse race, any relief she had felt before was now gone. She couldn't help but think he was referring to certain arrangements which were done in the privacy of a hotel room.

Katniss cursed herself for being so naive to think that Darius may have been different than the rest of the Capitol citizens. The perspiration began to form at her brow and she could feel her hands becoming clammy underneath the warmth of his hand.

She had dreaded the idea of having to be intimate with anyone, who wasn't a certain blue eyed companion, but she had reasoned that most courting went on for a substantial amount of time before either one of the parties was expected to perform in such ways, but this was the Capitol and propriety was something to speak about and not to actually put to practice.

Darius led her out of the train, the stench of bleach hit her head on and she assumed that it had just been time for the required street cleaning. Katniss kept her head down as she tried to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable.

However, all she could feel was a sense of mourning over the thought of not having Peeta to be the one who she would lay down with. She knew how absurd it was to think of him in such ways, but he had a way of invading her thoughts, and her heart.

Katniss was too deep in thought when he stopped walking causing her to crash into his side, the heel of her show went to the side as her ankle followed. Darius laughed softly as he helped her stand up, Katniss felt uneasy underneath his touch and she forced herself to smile.

"Perhaps you should only wear shoes without a heel from now on."

Katniss nodded as she tried not to squirm underneath his touch, she had been lucky when she had fought against Lord Cato's advances. He hadn't been favored among the Capitol officials the way Darius was, and to deny him was dangerous for both she and Peeta.

Katniss felt her stomach knot as she looked up to see where he had taken her. She couldn't help but be taken aback when instead of velvet carpets laid in front of her, there were marble stairs. Katniss looked over to Darius, her face clearly puzzled.

Darius laughed again, as he squeezed her hand gently," I thought that the library may be something you would appreciate."

Katniss nodded as he led her up the stoned stairs, her knees shook and she didn't know if she was more nervous now or when she had assumed he wanted to have sex instead.

Dark colored glass covered the building and Katniss could swear that when the light reflected off of the structure it appeared to glow. The anticipation she felt threatened to cause her to fall as she ascended up the steps, her hand grasped in Darius'.

Katniss stole a glance up at him, his auburn hair which had lightened up in the sun was brushed back, allowing her to admire the sharp structure of his face. She had to admit that he was handsome, and so far he had been a gentleman of his word.

When they entered the building the smell of old books surrounded her, Katniss had to fight the urge to sigh. She had spent many years dreaming about being able to handle the books within these walls, and shortly she would have the ability to do so.

Darius released her hand to step forward to speak to a petite woman, her hair was abnormally calm in color, and the clothes she wore were not as provocative as most. Katniss folded her arms as she looked up at the high ceilings that seemed to stretch forever, which were lined with shelves upon shelves of books. Katniss brought her attention back to Darius as she could hear him raise his voice.

"I don't think I understand your reasoning."

The woman tipped her forehead forward motioning towards Katniss," The young _lady_ you've arrived with is not permitted to enter here. She isn't of Capitol birth and therefore not to our standards, but you are welcomed to stay my Lord."

Katniss could feel her cheeks burn as the woman stared at her with disdain. The embarrassment of having to stand outside, as Darius remained in the building was overwhelming.

Darius squared his shoulders," If Miss Everdeen is not wanted than neither am I, and I would assume that my families money would also be not welcomed."

The woman stood up," My Lord I'm only going by the rules that were-"

"Miss Everdeen is my guest and she is to be seen as such," Darius turned to face Katniss, his hand outstretched for her to take," Come now, let's find you a book."

Katniss couldn't hide her shock as she slowly walked over to him taking his hand. She tried to ignore the hateful look the woman was sending her way as Darius led her to a long wooden table which was littered with volumes of books and literature. He had released her hand to pull out her chair, waiting for her to sit before pushing it in.

She could feel her hands shake in anticipation, as he sat next to her, already reaching for his first book. Darius thumbed through a few pages before he sat it down indifferent, as Katniss watched the stack of books beside him dwindle.

He would pick one up, look through it closely before depositing it to the pile. He looked up at her, his brow creased as he saw her hands were empty.

"Are you not wanting to look through any of the books here?"

Katniss cleared her throat, before sitting up straight," To be honest, I'm a little over whelmed. I feel like I've waited years to be this close to this many books, and now that I am. I feel out of place."

Darius smiled as he reached out placing his hand on top of hers," They're only books."

Katniss shook her head," But they aren't so insignificant to me," Katniss turned in her seat to face him," when I was living on the street I had one possession, it was a book someone had given me when I was younger. And the words in it gave me strength to survive, and I know it must seem foolish to you, but there's something sacred about the written word," Katniss smiled," it's like magic."

Darius watched her closely," I never thought of it that way."

Katniss ducked her head, her eyes falling on their joined hands," I know I seem strange."

"Yes, but strange is only another word for different, and believe me when I say that different is something I could become used to."

Katniss looked up," Is that why you asked to court me? Because I'm different? Because you thought it would be thrilling to become involved with a district born?"

Katniss pulled her hand away, as Darius looked confused," No. I wanted to court you because I was impressed with you at the Capitol Ball. You had integrity in a moment where you could have allowed someone beneath you to manipulate you. I like that you have a mind of your own, and that you can appreciate books the way you do. I just want to be able to know you better."

Katniss turned in her seat correctly before reaching for a book placed in the stack in front of her. The leather binding was intact and firm as she grazed the spine with the pads of her fingers. Darius watched her before he reached for another book, this time spending more time to study the pages.

They both sat there in silence as Katniss skimmed through pages of philosophy and fairytales, much like the book she already owned. Occasionally Darius would reach over to take her hand in his, and Katniss' muscles would tense before she relaxed after a few seconds.

Physical contact between them was minimal and Katniss wondered if it was protocol to minimalize contact, but she was also thankful that the pressure of becoming physical with him wasn't yet present.

They both read in silence for nearly an hour before Darius stood up, a book clutched in his hand. Katniss felt reluctant to set the book down she had been reading, but she didn't want to insult him either.

She stood up from her chair after he had scooted the chair out for her, taking her hand he began to escort her out. The unpleasant woman from before watched her closely, as they exited the building. The walk back to the train was done in silence, and Katniss hoped she hadn't done something to make him upset.

It wasn't until they sat down awaiting the train to start that Katniss noticed the book in his hand.

Darius caught her eyes on the book, he gently placed it in her lap," I thought perhaps you could now have two books in your library."

Katniss ran her fingers over the cover," That was very thoughtful of you, thank you. But I don't want to cause any trouble-"

Darius placed his hand on top of hers," It's no trouble."

Katniss watched as he curled his fingers over hers, his hands were soft and gentle from years of care, but there was something kind and passive about the way he would take her hand. He never struck her as entitled as did most of the noble men in the Capitol, he had an air of honor to him, which set Katniss at ease. She looked up over to him as he stared out the window, the hair at the back of his neck wisped out in fiery curls.

He was handsome, and she had to admit he had so far been a gentleman towards her, perhaps becoming involved with Darius wouldn't be as horrible as she had initially assumed. Although one nagging feeling pulled at her, because the best she could hope for with Darius was fondness. She was only in love with one man, and the option of becoming involved with him was nonexistent.

The train ride back to the district passed by quickly as Katniss was deep in thought, she nearly jumped when Darius stood pulling her up with him, their hands still joined. She kept hold of her book as they exited the train walking back to the manor.

Night had already begun to fall, as they walked silently through the property, the air was cool on her skin causing her arms to goosebump. Darius had laughed when her heels had sunk into the mud, Katniss lightly slapped him on the arm as he helped her dig her shoes free.

When they finally made it to the front porch, the mood became tense and awkward as Katniss stood there holding tightly onto her book. Darius lifted her hand to his lips, brushing her knuckles lightly in propriety.

"Thank you for your company, Miss Everdeen."

Katniss nodded," Of course, and thank you for the lovely evening and book."

Darius released her hand before nodding her a goodnight, and stepping off of the porch and into the night. Katniss watched him leave, until his form was completely enveloped by the darkness.

She was surprised by how safe she had felt around him, but there was still that feeling of grief in knowing that it could never be Peeta to be the one to kiss her hand good night after a time spent together.

Katniss knew she had to let any hope of becoming involved with Peeta disappear because the reality was that he was a companion, and his choices were what the Capitol dictated, and it was certain death to take on a personal mate. And even though it was painful for her to not be with him, she wouldn't allow her own selfishness to endanger his life.

* * *

The foyer was dark, the lights that were kept on at least an hour after Hazelle left for the day had already cooled. The room was warm from the windows being closed, causing perspiration to form at her back, she could feel the material cling to her skin. Katniss breathed in deeply before closing the door, careful not to make a noise.

She assumed that Peeta had gone to bed, and to be honest she was thankful she wouldn't have to face him just yet. Clumsily she leaned her head back into the door, lightly knocking her head into the wood.

Her evening with Darius had been surprisingly enjoyable, but it had caused her curiosity towards Peeta to increase. The idea of becoming intimate with a man was always something she had dreaded, and she assumed that when she and Darius wedded, she would be expected to produce a male heir within the year.

However the way she had held onto Peeta while he pressed their bodies together sent wild sensations through her body. She felt the desire to pursue his touches, and her want only worried her further. _What made this man any different than the millions of others, that never incited such feeling and desires? _

She enjoyed her tales of damsels and heroic princes with hearts of gold, but Katniss wasn't naïve enough to believe that such a thing really existed. True love was a myth to entertain lonesome little girls, not a reality.

Katniss pressed the book into her chest, the corner of the cover pressed into her breast bone, and she felt oddly comforted to have it held so close to her. The gift had been surprising; his kindness was refreshing from the normal indifference she received from the Capitol.

But with most in the Capitol, materialism was a way of life, and showing affection was as simple as giving a gift. However, Katniss had to remind herself that even though he had behaved in a similar manner, it didn't mean that he was like most in the Capitol.

The manor was eerie at night the creaks and moans that an older house produced were unnerving, causing Katniss to walk further into the foyer. She lowered the book to her side as she reached up, pressing the button on the lamp to produce the artificial glow of light.

She turned towards the stairs, her mind lost in thought yet again when her eyes fell on the image of Peeta sitting on the bottom stair. Katniss nearly fell onto her back, her feet stumbling back in fear. Her free hand pressed into her chest as she fought to catch her breath after being terrified.

Peeta just sat there watching her clearly unaffected by her reaction. After Katniss recovered, her breathing still erratic, she turned fully towards Peeta.

"Peeta you scared the hell out of me," Katniss looked around before she turned back to him, her brow creased," How long were you just sitting in the dark? You do know that's really creepy? Right?"

Peeta reached for the banister using it for leverage as he stood up," I don't really know. I was just thinking, I guess I lost track of time."

Katniss watched as he ran his hands through his hair," Alright. I think I'm going to head up to bed."

She walked towards the banister where Peeta was still standing with his shoulders slightly hunched. He kept his distance until she reached the second stair, quickly he stepped towards her closing the gap between their bodies.

Peeta reached out taking hold of her arm, stopping her , his fingers were warm against her skin, and Katniss could feel the perspiration gather at the back of her neck. Her hair clung to her damp neck, as she turned back to Peeta.

His expression was serious, Katniss tried to figure out what he was thinking but he was unreadable. Katniss looked down at her arm where his hand rested now, she began to question his actions when he started to speak.

"You haven't told me how it went."

Katniss tilted her head to the side before rolling her eyes," Don't worry, I didn't try to assault him."

Peeta nodded," So it went well?"

"Yes. He was a perfect gentlemen," Katniss held up her book," He took me to the Capitol library, it was sweet."

Peeta stepped up to stop beside her, his hand still at her arm," So that's all it takes to impress you? A couple of books? Pretending to be kind?"

Katniss wrenched her arm from his hand, she could already feel the skin begin to burn from the action," First off, don't talk down to me like that, and second he wasn't pretending he actually is kind."

Katniss began to step up the remaining stairs until she turned back around pushing Peeta down to the first step. Peeta reached out for the banister with both hands trying to lessen the brunt of his fall. He gripped the wood, as Katniss stomped down the steps towards him, seething with anger.

"And I don't know why you're acting like this. Was it not the idea for me to become a handmaiden so I could be courted and not have to worry about the future?"

Peeta nodded as he held a finger out," So that's what you want? To be treated as a dense child you needs to be told when to be breath," Peeta ran his hands through his hair," I thought you were better than one of those vapid Capitol borns who are happy enough to be treated as pieces in the background, while their husbands force themselves on anything that breathes."

Katniss shook her head as she tried to fight back her tears," And I thought you would never make me feel so ashamed of something I didn't even do,"Katniss wiped at the stray tear falling down her cheek," This isn't about how you assume I would act. It's about you being jealous that I had a decent time with a man that wasn't you."

Peeta narrowed his eyes at her," I'm not jealous. This about you whoring yourself out for money like every other handmaiden-"

Peeta could hear her intake a breath, his regret already began to rise up when she began to speak," You are such a damn hypocrite! How can you call me a whore! Should I remind you of what you do for a living?"

"Katniss-"

Katniss pushed the tears from her face as a new batch fell on her fingers," I haven't been able to stop thinking about how it felt kissing you. I felt so safe with you and now I just feel foolish."

Peeta stepped towards her, their bodies inches apart," I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that."

Katniss turned her face away from him, not wanting to have eye contact," Then why did you say it?"

Peeta sighed," Because you were right. I was jealous," Katniss turned towards him their eyes meeting," it was agonizing to see you leave with another man. I guess I don't know how to deal with it."

"Even so, you can't make me feel less," Katniss breathed in deeply as his stare threatened to swallow her," Because for some twisted reason, the way you see me means something to me. Maybe more than it should."

Peeta placed his hands at each side of her face, his thumbs wiped at the tears," I know. I'm sorry."

Katniss leaned into his hands, as her book dropped to the stair, the thud echoing through the quiet foyer," Why does everything between us have to be so complicated," Katniss reached up holding onto his hands as they cradled her face," Why can't it be simple?"

Peeta pulled her face towards his, his lips lightly brushing against hers," I wish it was simple."

Katniss pulled from him, as she began to step back up the stairs," It's never going to be simple with us, is it?"

Peeta shook his head," I don't think so."

Katniss nodded as she turned to walk up the stairs before turning back to speak," Then maybe we should stop trying to fool ourselves into thinking it can be different."

Peeta nodded as his face fell," Maybe."

Katniss watched him for a few seconds before she walked up the stairs, her form disappearing from sight as she made it up the last few stairs.

Peeta turned around, sinking back down to the steps, his face landing in his open hands. He could feel the tension knotting at the back of his neck, as he tried to fight back the tears threatening to fall. He knew he had to find a way to let her go, because the tighter he held onto her, the more he seemed to be harming her.

Because Peeta knew that she deserved more than he was able to give her, and he didn't want to hold her back.

* * *

The edges of the pages lightly scraped over the pads of her fingers, as she idly turned the page. Her mind wasn't on the words, her eyes and attention disconnected as her mind wandered. She hadn't slept at all during the night, she kept replaying the way his lips felt against hers.

After three hours of struggling Katniss left her bed in search of her book, she assumed it remained on the stairs where she had dropped it earlier. The room was still dark as she opened her bedroom door, suddenly she tripped stubbing her toes on something in front of the door.

She reached out balancing herself on the door frame, before she looked down, the book Darius had given her sat on the wooden floor boards. Peeta must have placed it there after she had retreated to her room, he constantly surprised her with his actions.

She bent down picking it up, before stepping back into her room closing the door. The floor boards were cool on her bare legs as she sat down, using the door to lean up against. She had managed to distract herself for awhile, but after a few hours her current situation with Peeta flooded back.

Katniss laid the book down to dress hoping that the simple task could take her mind off of him. Sadly she wasn't successful while dressing herself did take a bit more effort than turning a page, she still couldn't take her mind off of how it felt to have him stand so close. She wasn't lying when she told him he made her feel safe because he did, but he also confused her.

Katniss wished that love was as simple as it seemed in her fairytales, where the only problem the two lovers came against was how to defeat the evil dragon. Katniss stood in front of the mirror combing her fingers through her tangled curls, as she pondered that perhaps evil dragons were a part of love in reality, but more of a metaphor than literal.

Katniss sighed before picking up her book, the hem of her dress riding up as she sat on her bed. This is where she sat for the next few hours before she laid the book down, determined to work through her issues with Peeta.

She knew she needed a chance to be able to live her life without having doubts about her choices, and Peeta made up most of her doubts. _Could she be happy with another man when she had so many questions regarding another? _

She needed to find him, to at least discuss what had occurred between them last night. Katniss smoothed her dress down as she opened the door to her room, to walk out into the hall. She stopped short as she noticed how quiet it was considering it was during the middle of the day.

Hazelle was usually in the middle of her daily chores, while the smell of baking goods wafted up to the second floor. Katniss shook off her curiosity as she made her way down to the room that Peeta used as a makeshift art studio.

The odor of acrylic paint surrounded her before she was able to fully open the door, the stream of sunlight filtering in through the window. The door creaked as it hit the nearest wall, before Katniss stepped into the room. She surveyed the room, looking for Peeta, but having no luck she turned back to the door.

She was halfway to the hall when she collided with a canvas he had leaning up against the wall. It fell with a thump and Katniss hoped the paint hadn't still been wet. She crouched down, using the tips of her fingers Katniss brought the front of the canvas facing upwards. The deep greens and silvers ran together, as fairy wings spanned the entire canvas.

The way he painted always impressed her but something about this image was familiar. Katniss ran her fingers over the indentions of the brush strokes, the raised paint tickling her fingers. Something was bothering her about the painting, she felt as though she should remember something important.

In a rush Katniss gripped onto the edge of the canvas, running to her room, the door to Peeta's studio left open. Her bare feet padded down the hallway as the edge of the painting knocked against her knees. She nearly tripped over the threshold in her impatience and the cumbersome load of the painting, causing her to be clumsy.

Her grip began to loosen as her palms started to sweat, causing her to tighten her hold on the canvas. She frantically scanned the room until her eyes fell upon on the book sitting on the side table. Katniss gently threw the painting on the bed facing up to the ceiling, before she reached for the book flipping through the pages for a specific picture. She studied the page before laying the book down beside the painting, comparing the two.

Katniss could feel her breath catch in her throat, when the exact similarities of the two drawings were apparent to her. She stumbled back in shock as a nauseating sickness rose up her body, before the memory struck her, threatening to send her down entirely.

_The ends of his shaggy blonde hair tickled the side of her face as they sat next to each other, their attention on the far wall. She could feel his shoulder rise and fall as he breathed in, his fingers lightly brushing up against hers, as they sat at his knee. She wanted him to take her hand, she liked how his fingers intertwined with hers felt._

_He made her feel safe, which was an impressive feat in the dank cold room she was forced to stay in. She breathed in slowly as realization of how close he really was sank in. The warmth from his body tingled the side of her body, the thin rags she was given to wear did nothing to keep the sensation away. She could still remember how soft his lips felt against hers, the only time he had kissed her._

_Initially she had assumed he had kissed her out of friendship, but lately she began to feel a warm tingly sensation rise up her body when he was near. This confused her because how was she supposed to react to such things. He was her friend, he took care of her when she was scared or sad, the later which had prompted him to carve the mural into the far wall._

_He shifted next to her, causing their bodies to touch even more so. Their hands were now pressed against the others, and she could feel him reach over with his pinkie wrapping it around hers. A wide smile came over her face, as a sense of calm came over her._

_His voice was low in the quiet room," Why fairies?"_

_She sighed," They remind me to believe in magic," she turned her head to look into his blue eyes," and they remind me of you."_

_He creased his brow in confusion," Me? Because I gave you the book?"_

_She shrugged her dark curls falling around her shoulders," A little because the book, but mostly because I think you're magical."_

_He blushed dropping his face to stare at their joined hands," I'm not, trust me."_

_She shifted her body to the side before reaching up to his chin," But you are to me," she lifted his face up, their noses barely touching," You give me something to look forward to. I feel like I'm not myself until you're next to me."_

_She could feel their heavy breathing mixing together, as he inched their faces closer until his lips pressed into hers. This time it was different than the last time he had kissed her, there was something much deeper going on underneath the surface, and her body began to tingle._

_She placed her free hand to his chest, pushing him away. His eyes were bright underneath the dim light filtering from the hallway through the window. She wanted to assure him that pushing him away had nothing to do with her unwillingness to kiss him, but her voice was stuck at the base of her throat as he watched her. He turned towards the wall, his hair falling into his eyes._

"_I like that fairy," he motioned nodding his head to one of the sprites on the wall," she reminds me of you, because she has a light inside of her."_

_The girl smiled," You think I have a light inside of me?"_

_He nodded before squeezing her hand ," Definitely."_

Katniss could feel an uncontrollable sob threatening to choke her, as her pulse began to race. She grabbed the painting along with the book, before she turned to rush out of her room. She needed to find Peeta, she needed to confirm her suspicions.

Her nails dug into the painting as it bumped into her shins, while the book was tucked securely underneath her arm. He hadn't been in his art studio, and she couldn't hear the sound of an axe colliding with wood, so the possibility of him being outside was thin.

She couldn't remember when she made it to his door, the entire search done in a blur. Katniss took a deep breath before pushing the door open with her hip, her hands currently occupied.

The door flew open causing it to crash into the nearest wall, the sound echoing through the room. Katniss took in a breath as she spotted Peeta sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, clearly not affected by the commotion.

His hands were still buried in his hair as he spoke," Whatever it is, can it wait until later? I'm not in the mood, Katniss."

Katniss could feel her anger increasing," How did you know it's me?"

Peeta took in a deep breath, his back hunched over," I can smell the lavender soap you use from here, and you're the only person I know that can bust into a room with so much resolve."

Katniss walked up to him throwing the painting down at his feet," I don't think you're in the position to be anything, but the truth."

Peeta lowered his hands from his face, dropping them into his lap," You went into my art room," he looked over to her his eyes rimmed red," you had no right."

Katniss could feel her body tense her temper flaring as she opened the book to the correct page throwing it down beside him on the bed. Peeta looked down to the book where it layed open to a picture. The familiar image of fairies floating on the air amongst the trees met his eyes, as soon as it registered he could feel his pulse race. Peeta placed his fingers on the faded page, careful not to tear it further than it had already been.

Katniss clenched her fists," You had no right to keep this from me," she could feel the tears fighting to free themselves," It's you isn't it? The boy from the orphanage? Isn't it?

Peeta jumped slightly startled by her yelling," Katniss-"

She breathed in deep trying to find her voice," The painting is like the rendition from my book, a book that was given to me by a blonde, blue eyed boy," Katniss closed her eyes causing a few tears to escape," How long have you known?"

Peeta swallowed the excess saliva forming in his voice," About a day after you came here."

"When you found me in the Capitol with the Peacekeepers… you didn't know then?"

Peeta shook his head," No."

Katniss wiped at the tears falling down her face," So all this time, it was you and you just kept it from me?"

Peeta stood up slowly, closing the gap between them," I didn't want to make it difficult for you. It would have been harder for you to leave if you knew the truth, harder for you to move on."

Katniss shook her head," That wasn't your right to choose for me," Katniss held her hand up stopping him from advancing towards her," I'm not that same little scared girl in the orphanage who needed you to take care of me."

Peeta reached out for her before Katniss slapped his hand away," I know who you are."

Katniss dug her nails into her hair closing her eyes," Do you know what they did to me after you left-"

Peeta's skin burned as his tears rushed down his face," Katniss, please-"

Katniss kept her head down," They broke my fingers. I wouldn't stop crying and calling out for you, I thought you had been caught and killed," Katniss looked up her grey eyes showing betrayal," but it turns out you just left me like everyone else. I always thought you were special, but you're not are you?"

Peeta rushed over to her placing his hands on hers, his fingers tangling in her hair," I'm so sorry."

He raised her face up to his, her face was flushed as he leaned in to her, his lips nearly pressing into hers. He felt the slap before it registered what exactly had happened, his hands were free of her hair as she stood in front of him furious.

"Do not touch me!"

Peeta held his cheek," I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you."

Katniss gritted her teeth," Do you really think that trying to kiss me measures up to everything else. You promised you would protect me," Katniss shook her head her dark hair falling at her back," I really don't know why it surprises me though, because you are just that… a liar. It's what you're good at. It's why you make the perfect companion."

"I never lied to you about I feel about you."

Katniss looked off to the side her eyes not on anything specific," It really doesn't matter now, does it?"

Peeta stepped forward," It does to me."

Katniss turned her head to him," Well, it doesn't to me."

Peeta tried to reach out for her as she turned to leave, she was already out of his reach when his fingers stretched out for her.

Katniss stopped her back still to him," I don't understand how you could leave me."

"I was a stupid kid."

Katniss nodded," This time I'm leaving you."

Peeta watched as she walked out of the room closing the door behind her. The room was hauntingly quiet as he stood there, his body shaking. Everything had crashed down around him and Peeta felt on the verge of losing his mind. He turned around, his eyes landing on the painting.

Everything seemed almost outside of his body as he kicked the painting, then threw his desk lamp against the wall. The bulb broke into tiny pieces before the lamp collided with the floor. Peeta sunk to the floor, his hands in his hair as he truly became broken.

* * *

_A/N: I hope everyone is still enjoying the story, and please review._


	9. Chapter 9

_Thank you to everywhere who takes the time to review, favorite, and follow. It means a great deal to me, so thank you._

_Thank you to Wildharp, for continuing to Beta for me. Love ya, Adam._

**_NOTICE: There are Sexual Situations in this chapter. Please be a responsible reader. The Rating has been changed to Mature._**

Chapter Nine

The whistling of the wind through the leaves only chilled her rain soaked body, as the leaves on the ground blew around her legs. A few stuck to her bare legs due to the dampness on her skin, Katniss reached down plucking the leaves from her legs before tossing them to the side. She could feel kindred with the foliage as it glided on the wind with no apparent direction in mind.

Her own frame of mind was hazy as she drew her legs up to her chest, shivering from the cold. She curled her toes into the mud, as the mixture of dirt and water formed around her feet. Katniss' nails bore into her skin at her shins while her feet sunk into the ground.

Waves of dark curls fell over her knees, the ends of the strands tickling the back of her hands as she placed the side of her face down at her knee. The rain which had soaked her hair began to run down her legs, as the condensation was pulled down by gravity.

After she had left Peeta alone in his room, she ran down the stairs and out of the house in a rush. Her emotions were heightened and all she could think about was finding a way to breathe again. Katniss couldn't remember how she made it to the woods, but as soon as she made it to the tree line, in the safety of the trees she fell to her knees.

Branches dug into her skin as she clawed at the ground, causing dirt to cake underneath her nails. Her hair hovered beneath her as she hunched over hyperventilating, she could feel her heart pound in her chest, as she tried in vain to gain a handle on the situation. She leaned over for a few more minutes until she could breathe without becoming lightheaded.

Katniss crawled over to the nearest tree trunk, before she leaned up against it using the tree for leverage. She felt more lost sitting there, than she had during her time living on the street. Katniss had held onto a memory of a young boy who had protected her from the dark for a short period of time.

But now as she sat on the ground she couldn't help but wonder if her memories hadn't been as accurate as she thought. Perhaps he wasn't as gentle or as kind as she remembered, and the thought made her sick to her stomach.

A deep echo of thunder sounded around her causing her to shake before a down pour of rain fell around her, coating her body in water. For a fleeting moment she pondered on the idea of taking shelter, but even if her mind was willing her body still kept in place.

Across the field leading up to the manor she could see Hazelle rushing to the porch for shelter, her arms full of bags she had collected from her visit in town. Katniss felt disconnected from everything around her, only the debilitating pain crushing her heart was noticeable.

Grief washed over her along with the rain, a puddle formed in the slight ditch in the dirt she had formed with her body. Katniss was being forced to say goodbye to an idea that she had held onto for so long.

The thought of Peeta being someone who made mistakes, just someone who had flaws and not the person she had built up in her mind. He had turned out to be human like everyone else, and this confused her more than her anger comforted her.

The man she had created in her thoughts was unattainable, nothing like how Peeta had actually become, and a part of her was relieved.

Katniss nearly missed the moment the rain stopped, the absence leaving a crisp smell to the air. Her eyes were irritated from her tears that had long ceased, and she fought the urge to rub at them. Katniss watched as a few hours later, Hazelle exited the back door making her way back down the hill leading to town.

Katniss looked down to her hands where her nails still dug into her skin, a small streak of blood had drained from the shallow cuts caused by her nails. The light of the day had started to fade causing Katniss' eyes to adjust. Her teeth collided as the chill of the rain sank in, and her dress clung to her back becoming another layer skin.

The forest seemed to almost close around her, as the sun began to set causing the temperature to drop. Katniss could feel her body tingle, she assumed her limbs had fallen asleep from being in the same position for hours, but there was another part of her that felt a pull towards the house, to Peeta.

Her body ached along with the pain that originated from her mind, she was emotionally exhausted and she yearned for any sort of solace. Her dark curls fell around her shoulders, the strands still dripping with rain stuck to her skin.

Katniss sat up, releasing her hands from her legs to push her drenched hair away from her front, before pulling it all together. She wrung the water out thoroughly, her idle hands were thankful for the task, but her mind was still reeling. Katniss released her hair allowing it to fall around her as she planted her hands flat on the ground, her fingers mixing with some of the mud.

Her legs were wobbly as she attempted to stand up, her right arm stretched out seeking the nearest tree for leverage. Her balance faltered for a few seconds but it wasn't long until she could stand upright without any help.

Katniss' eyes found the back of the manor again, her attention traveled up to the second floor window that she knew led into Peeta's bedroom. She felt a nagging feeling in her gut, a sensation that pulled at her. Katniss couldn't fight off the feeling of wanting to be in that room, to be near him, for what purpose she wasn't yet aware.

He confused her on so many levels, he made her question things, made her want to discover new experiences. It was odd because even in the betrayal she felt, he was still the person she wanted to discover those things with.

She had always felt drawn to Peeta even when they were kids, before she knew his name or realized how well he would grow into his broad shoulders when he had been gangly and all limbs. Even then he made her feel safe, feel whole, like she could be loved and a part of something special. There was a connection between them in that cold room with only their imaginations to entertain them, and that connection had carried on through the years when they had been separated.

Katniss suddenly came to the conclusion that perhaps she wasn't upset because he had withheld the truth from her, maybe she was afraid that something had ultimately become too real for her.

The boy who held her tightly after her nightmares wasn't just a faded memory anymore, he was a living breathing reality that was only yards away.

Katniss dug her feet out of the mud as she exited the cover of the woods. She trudged up the hill leading to the manor. She righted her footing when her ankle bent to the side due to a few loose rocks, stabbing the bottom of her feet.

Her dress stuck to her skin as a result of the rain, causing it to stay stiff against her, the wind not able to make it budge. She peered down to her hands that were still covered in mud and bits of blood from before, she could only imagine what she looked like with her damp clothing and dripping hair.

Katniss was so lost in her thoughts she nearly collided with the first step of the porch, her toes lightly stubbing into the wooden boards. She stepped onto each with caution, she didn't want to misstep and injure herself, she didn't want another problem she would have to deal with.

As she made it to the porch without any major injuries, Katniss caught her reflection in the glass of the back door. Her dark hair was wild around her face, framing her red rimmed eyes which were now wide and grey from the crying.

She chanced taking in the rest of her appearance, suppressing a gasp, when she finally examined her reflection. The dress with its light fabric had formed with her body, showcasing any curve and development she had, her small breasts now seemed endowed and prominent, and the curve at her hip was still subtle but noticeable.

The mud from before had already dried to her skin and her feet and legs itched from the hardened clay. She debated washing up before she went to see him but she knew her nature. Katniss was convinced if she gave herself enough time to think it over, she would eventually back out of her original decision.

With a determined sigh, she pulled the door open, running through it, the door banged with a resounding echo. Her legs felt heavy as she made it to the stairs taking two at a time. When she made it to the landing, she gripped the banister for leverage as she breathed in deep, her shoulders hunched over.

She could feel something changing already, the air entering her lungs felt charged and she hoped she had the strength to face him.

Katniss stood up glancing over to her right where her door was, she knew it would be easy to just let go of the banister and walk into her room, closing the door behind her and leaving any thought of connecting with Peeta behind. She could set her mind on being courted by Darius, he was kind and he would ensure she lived comfortable for the rest of her life.

He was available to her, it was the logical decision to make, the path with less pain. Katniss cleared her throat as it tightened, the tears threatening to fall again. Yes, life with Darius would be realistic, she wouldn't have to risk her heart being broken, because truthfully it was nothing more than a business arrangement where emotions were hindering.

But no matter how logical it would be to marry Darius, she would never have passion. The type of passion that made you want to inflict pain, and the next moment made you feel complete. The type of passion she had with Peeta, because even though he infuriated her, he was still the only person who could incite such emotions from her, and she cursed him for that, but she also knew she needed him because of it.

Katniss smiled to herself softly, she knew she had made her decision before she even reached the stairs. Releasing the banister, she turned on her heel walking to her left, leaving the thought of retiring to her room behind her. Her footsteps were rapid and intentional as she inched closer to his door, her stomach restricting as she neared closer.

When she reached the door, her face nearly touching the wood, her hand faltered as she tried to reach out before she finally pushed the door open. The hinges creaked as the inside of the room became visible. Her bare feet padded against the floor boards as she entered the room, her eyes fell onto the painting, the wood holding the canvas taut was now lying broken and cracked.

A few feet above it, light from a lit candle reflected off of shards of glass which Katniss assumed had at one time formed a lamp bulb. Katniss breathed in deeply before she turned to her left, where his outstretched legs appeared.

She stood there watching him as he faced down into his lap, his attention on something in his hands. His normally kept hair was now damp from sweat, his bangs hanging down in front of his face.

His voice was oddly calm as it broke through the silence of the room," I thought you would have been long gone by now."

Katniss swallowed, her throat felt raw," I was going to, but I only made it as far as the woods."

Peeta looked up at her, his face was pale, which only made his blue eyes shine more," Why did you come back?"

Katniss could feel her chest restrict as anxiety took her over," I don't know."

Peeta's face fell as a gust of air left his mouth," I don't believe you."

Katniss looked down at her feet, embarrassed by how well he already knew her," I wanted to go, but something kept me from going."

Peeta watched her closely, he tried to find her face behind the curtain of hair," You should have left," Katniss looked up quickly her grey eyes confused," you were right from before. There's nothing for you here."

Katniss' heart dropped," Peeta?"

His hair covered the right side of his face, the deep color of his eye peeking through," I can't be what you need," his eyes began to burn from the tears welling up there," you deserve more."

Peeta could feel his heart break as he watched her stand there in silence, her hair was a mess of curls, the strands frizzing due to being wet before. He assumed she had been outside when it had rained, since her dress clung to her body.

Peeta tried to push down the warm sensation he felt beneath his stomach when he took in the way her breasts showed through the thin fabric, the nipples were round and firm, his hands twitched as they held onto the book. He was thankful for the coverage, he didn't want her to see the effect she had on him, especially since he was telling her that they couldn't be together.

His body and mind were in direct conflict, but there was a part of him that wanted to turn the rational part of his brain off and delve into exploring her body. He looked back down to the book in his hands, trying to busy his mind. Peeta was so distracted by his vain attempt in ignoring her presence that he didn't notice the moment she began to walk towards him.

Her bare feet covered in a thin layer of mud and shallow cuts came into view, Peeta gulped, knowing he would have to acknowledge her. His resolve was already thin, and he feared if he looked up at her that it would disappear all together.

Katniss slowly knelt down onto her knees beside him," What if I want to be here anyway?"

Against his better judgment Peeta looked up towards her direction, her hair had been pushed behind her back and the neckline of her damp dress had fallen down lower, the top of her breasts showing.

Peeta swallowed deeply, hoping for the strength to deny her," It'll pass."

Katniss placed her hands on her thighs," What if it doesn't?"

Peeta closed his eyes tightly, causing a couple of tears to fall down his cheeks," Katniss-"

Her voice was soft, it barely broke through the turmoil in his mind," Is that my book?"

Peeta opened his eyes to see her leaning over, her fingers running over the page, "Yes. I just felt the need to look at it," Katniss sat back up, before reaching out to cover his hand with hers," You know I used to have one just like this, actually it was my father's. He had it as a child and I remember before he died he would read it to me every night. I remember the way he smelled, like cinnamon, and I felt so safe. He always told me that the hardest thing to do was believe in magic, but it was important to believe," Peeta tried to swallow the tears away as he continued," After he died my mother got rid of everything, including me, I think it was too painful for her to see me, or at least that's what I tell myself. It's better than believing in the alternative of having a mother who doesn't care for you. So after I had escaped the orphanage, I found this book, I felt compelled to take it."

Katniss nodded letting his confession sink in," Why did you give it to me?"

"It became a part of me," Peeta rubbed his free hand over his face," I guess I wanted to give you a little magic, and maybe I needed to leave a part of me with you."

Katniss could feel her chest tighten as tears formed," You were a part of me. That book kept me sane for a long time, it was the only thing that held me together."

Peeta looked down to their touching hands, he could feel the heat of her skin on his," No, you held yourself together, I had nothing to do with it."

Katniss shook her head, her curls moving behind her," You're wrong. You had everything to do with it," Katniss forced herself to breath," When they would beat me, the only thing that carried me through was that soon I would have you there with me."

Peeta slipped his hand out from under hers to reach out, placing it against her cheek," I shouldn't have left you," Katniss leaned into his touch, her eyes closing," but I was weak and selfish. You deserve more than a man who will leave you when it gets difficult."

Katniss opened her eyes, the blue of his eyes threatening to swallow her whole," But you weren't a man. You were a child, who was scared, and it was wrong for me to place such a burden on you. I shouldn't have blamed you, I'm the foolish one. I always thought of you as someone from those fairy tales that filled my head for years," Katniss turned her head to kiss his palm," but I've realized that you're only human."

Peeta let out a hollow laugh," I don't know how to take that."

Katniss smiled into his hand," It's better to love something that's complicated and worthy of the struggle."

Peeta's forehead creased," Katniss?"

Katniss leaned forward to reach the book in his lap, his hand found itself buried in her mass of curls. Peeta was frozen in place as he watched her place the book to the side, her hand pushed it lightly sending it over to the far wall.

Katniss ducked her head as she turned her body towards his, her right leg swinging over his lap until she was straddling him. Peeta felt as though he couldn't breathe, her dress was still formed to her body, which only increased his arousal not to mention the anxiety that was building.

Katniss placed her hands at each side of his face, before she leaned forward lightly touching her lips to his. Peeta was hesitant to react, due to the events that had transpired, circumstances were different between them now than they had been when he had kissed her in the Capitol. There was nothing to hide behind, this was the moment where he had to decide if he wanted to give himself to someone completely.

Katniss could feel his lips tense as she pressed hers against his, she began to regret her decision, as embarrassment rose up inside of her. She started to pull away when his hand tangled in her hair, his fingers spreading at the back of her neck to pull her closer.

Peeta opened his mouth allowing his tongue to press against her lips asking for permission. Her mouth granted him access as their tongues massaged the others, while the rest of their bodies were still. Katniss felt dizzy as his mouth moved in rhythm with hers, the sensation was different than it had been from before. There was something unspoken about the connection forming in the silence of the room.

Although she could feel that Peeta was holding back, the irony of the situation wasn't lost on her. She had always been the one to reserve her emotions, even in the orphanage he was the affectionate one. Katniss reasoned that perhaps it was her chance to save Peeta the way he had for her when she was a lost little girl with only four cement walls to complete her world.

She had to be the strong one, because despite all of the pain she had endured through the years, Peeta had received so much worse. Even after all of the abuse at the hands of the house mothers, she still had a shred of innocence to hold onto, where Peeta's had been taken from him.

Katniss was brought back to the present when she felt Peeta pulling back from her, the back of his head connecting with the wall. Her hands were still at his face when she opened her eyes, she already missed the warmth of his mouth on hers. His eyes were raw and exposed and she could feel her heart skip a beat at how broken he seemed.

It was as if she could see through all of his pretenses through this one look, he was crying out for someone to find him in the dark. She wasn't seeing the confident coifed man who could charm and manipulate a situation, Katniss had a clear view of the kind boy who drew pixies on the cold cement wall.

However instead of creating tales of honor and valor he was curled up on the cold floor forgotten. She had escaped that room long ago, but somehow she had left Peeta there alone. Katniss had gotten a glimpse of his true self in Capitol when she had cared for him, but she hadn't entirely protected him, he was still broken. And to be honest Katniss knew she too was broken, but perhaps they could heal each other.

Peeta's hands went to her shoulders, his fingers warming her damp skin. He tried not to look at her as the candle light reflected off of her skin and hair casting her in a glow. She kept her eyes on him and he could feel himself close down, he wanted to hold onto her, to feel every inch of her skin, but he feared he was far too lost already.

Katniss breathed in deeply before she moved her hands down his face and neck her nails lightly grazing the skin there, as she sent the sensation down his arms to where his hands remained against her bare shoulders. Peeta watched her closely as she curled her fingers around his thumbs before pulling his hands down her arms, and the straps of her dress with them.

Peeta was in a daze watching her movements, it wasn't until her chest was completely exposed that it fully registered what was happening. Peeta tried to pull his hands away as they sat at her biceps, still grasped in hers.

Peeta shook his head," I can't give you a future. I won't have you halfway I can't."

Katniss smiled softly as she squeezed his hands reassuringly," Maybe worrying about the future is pointless. We can give each other now," Katniss looked down," because whatever has happened between us has brought us to this point in time."

Katniss raised her face up to his, leaning forward she brushed her lips lightly against his forehead before pressing hers against his," We're still lying in that orphanage together, we never left."

Peeta fought back a sob as his nails pressed into her skin," I never really wanted to leave you."

Her voice was quiet and softer than she was aware it could be," Then don't," she smiled softly as his breathe mingled with hers," we can fight those dragons together."

Peeta sighed before he allowed himself to let go, before he surrendered everything to the girl who confused him and irritated him, but she was his home. He had known long ago holding onto her as her tears fell onto his arms while she clung to him, that she was where he belonged and even if it was a fleeting moment of clarity he would grab hold of it.

Peeta moved his head to the side allowing him access to her mouth, he could feel her hesitation, before she pushed her body to his their lips bruising the others. Peeta relinquished any control he had over himself, as he kissed her with full abandonment. Katniss moaned softly into his mouth, earning a smile from Peeta, his hands grasping onto her for leverage, he could imagine himself floating away, needing her to hold him to solid ground.

Peeta reveled in the way her skin felt against his touch, goose bumps formed as he slid the straps of her dress down until the fabric fell on its own down at her hips. He released the fabric as Katniss shivered from the exposure, her bare skin out in the open.

Peeta discovered her mouth thoroughly, he could feel her move his hands off of her arms, he nearly froze when his palms came in contact with the raised skin of her nipples. He felt foolish for acting like an inexperienced child, he had seen and felt other women's breasts before. It had become a normal occurrence, but he reasoned that Katniss wasn't just a woman who he would have to go through the motions with, she was something else entirely.

Peeta curled his fingers into his palms, until only his fists were pressed against her chest. Katniss could feel his hesitation, she reminded herself that it wasn't a personal attack towards her, he had been through something traumatic. Intimacy had been twisted and altered, she needed to show him how it could be gentle and safe. She knew if she needed for him to trust her then she too needed to trust in return.

She spoke against his lips, her breath tickling his bottom lip," It's alright to let go."

Peeta nodded before swallowing hard," I want to…I'm ready to it's just I'm-"

"Afraid."

Peeta kissed her quickly before setting his lips against hers," Yes."

"It's alright because I am too, but we have each other. We can be afraid together."

His face was up against hers, the feel of her lips on his flooded his body with warmth, Peeta was almost hesitant to look into her grey eyes. He breathed in his chest tight, before he looked into her eyes, the color almost glowed from the tears building there.

It was the look in her hauntingly beautiful eyes that caused him to unfold his hands to display his fingers over the firm skin of her chest. Katniss' breath hitched for a moment before she covered his hands with hers. Peeta kept his movements slow and light before Katniss' mouth opened releasing a quiet moan.

Peeta bent his neck to the side leaning forward, he placed his mouth to the skin located under the base of her throat. Katniss bent her head back her eyes closed as his moist lips lightly kissed her bare skin. Peeta's fingers lightly scratched the skin at the side of her breasts, leaving her hands at her chest to travel around her sides, to her back.

Katniss giggled at the sensation as his fingers tickled the sides of her ribs. Katniss reached out to his chest with her own hands moving up his neck to bury her fingers in his thick hair. His hands spread along her back, the bare skin there soft against the calluses that had formed on his fingers from painting.

Peeta trailed kisses down to her chest where he softly kissed the area in between her breasts where her heart beat was. Katniss' nails bore down into his scalp as a tingling sensation spread through her body, she could feel herself begin to shake, as Peeta's lips traveled up to her neck to her pulse point.

She slid her hands down the back of his head, to rest her hands at his neck her fingers interlocking there.

Peeta bent his arms at the elbow, her arm pits resting on top of the crook of his arms. Peeta used all of his strength to slide up the wall, bringing his body to a standing position as Katniss wrapped her legs around his midsection.

Her chest pressed against his clothed one, as he carried her over to the bed, his mouth still pressed to her neck. Peeta's feet tripped over one another causing him to falter, they both tumbled to the bed, Katniss giggled as her back collided with the mattress. Peeta's face was buried in her neck, as he moved his body up hers, positioning his weight comfortably.

He breathed her in deeply, her skin smelled of rain and pine, she reminded him of the woods, he smiled into her neck, she was his real sanctuary, the place where he felt exposed but complete. Peeta laid his hands flat on the bed, the sides of his thumbs pressed up under her arms, his knees catching in the fabric of her dress, while it sat bunched at her waist.

He raised himself up enough to look at her, a mass of dark curls were spread around her head, most likely arranged that way when they had fallen to the bed. He was shaken by how gorgeous she was, not only by her features which yes were striking but it was the light she had inside of her that exposed a strength that impressed him the most.

Katniss felt vulnerable underneath his stare, his bangs had fallen out in front of him as he hovered over her, and she fought the urge to move her hands from his neck to tangle her fingers in the strands. He smiled at her softly as he traveled his eyes down to where her upper body remained bare.

Katniss unlocked her fingers to glide them down his spine, she could feel him shiver underneath her touch, his arms faltering slightly from the sensation. Katniss curled her fingers in the hem of his shirt, her nails lightly touching his skin underneath.

She was deliberately slow in her movements as she lifted the fabric up his back and ultimately to his chest. Peeta shifted his weight to remove his shirt without falling onto Katniss' petite form. He had already seemed offish when they had crashed to the bed due to his apparent lack of grace, he didn't want her to regard him as a fool.

Katniss helped him pull his shirt free from his body, her finger hooked in the fabric before she tossed it to the floor. Peeta's chest heaved, he could feel his arousal heighten and he was positive that she could feel him against her thigh.

He blushed at the thought, it was silly for him of all people to become embarrassed because of such a thing, but as he stated before, it was different with Katniss. She was more than someone he would have to perform sexually for, this was venturing into a situation he hadn't been familiar with before… it was tenderness and love.

Peeta grasped onto her sides as he settled into her, their hips touching," I'm still scared."

Katniss placed her hands on each side of his face," It's just me, Peeta."

Peeta nodded as he rubbed his thumbs over her skin," I know that's why I'm scared."

Katniss searched his blue eyes," What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of losing yourself?"

Peeta shook his head his bangs moving in the air," No," Peeta looked off to the side before looking back to her," Of finding myself."

Katniss pulled his face down to hers kissing him," I know you. I know the boy you were the man you can become, and I am in awe of it."

Peeta's hands traveled down her sides, reaching for the fabric of her dress, pushing it down as much as he could before Katniss caught it with her feet, kicking it off to the side. The thin fabric of her panties were all she had now, the lace did little to keep out the sensation of his groin pressing on hers. Katniss could feel her stomach tighten but the warmth she felt below her gut was taking over any anxiety threatening to overwhelm her.

Peeta's fingers hooked into the elastic of her panties, his fingers warming her skin there, a line of heat trailed behind his fingers as they slid her panties down to her bottom. Katniss lifted up off of the bed giving him enough room to slide the garment off of her lower half.

He waited for her to kick her panties off the same way she had with her dress until he allowed himself to fully take in her naked form. His pulse began to race as his eyes fell upon her taut olive skin, Peeta ran his hand over her flat stomach before leaning down to kiss it softly.

Katniss lifted off of the bed, her entire body tingling, a white hot warmth starting between her legs and traveling up to her head making her feel dizzy. Peeta reached for the zipper of his pants, lowering it before he reached for the button he unhooked it slowly, as he still watched her. The mood was less frenzied than he remembered, he felt safe around her, loved.

Peeta pushed his pants down his thighs, his boxers followed as he tried to move the fabric down his legs while still hovering over her. He fell onto her more than once which earned a laugh from her, his cheeks blushing. Her chest shook with laughter as he fumbled with his clothing, Peeta looked up at her when she snorted loudly.

His body along with hers was now bare, as he repositioned his body against hers. Peeta leaned on his elbows which set beside her ears, as he settled against her hips, his erection against her inner thigh. Katniss gasped slightly when the contact occurred, Peeta ducked his head smiling softly.

"Katniss this doesn't have to happen."

Katniss looked into his eyes, her hands traveling down to his chest, placing her hands where his heart beat was," I want to."

Peeta nodded," I was hoping you would say that," he leaned down kissing her deeply before pulling back," but at anytime that you need to stop. We'll stop. Alright?"

Katniss nodded, as Peeta reached down trailing his fingers over her thigh, his hand stopping at her knee to push her leg over to the side, propping it up. Katniss closed her eyes as she prepared herself for the initial discomfort.

Peeta took his time entering her, he didn't want to force himself , or the pain, onto her all at once. Katniss' nails pressed into his skin, as he began to break through the barrier, a sharp pain shot up through her body to settle at her throat, a strangled cry escaped her lips.

Peeta stilled his movements, as they remained joined, he watched her face as it twisted in pain and then settled into no expression.

Peeta shook his head as he lifted his hips preparing to withdraw from her," I can't hurt you this way-"

Katniss opened her eyes holding onto his shoulders firmly," No. I'm alright. There's supposed to be discomfort, right?"

"Yes, but I'm not going to put you through this."

Katniss forced him to look at her," Peeta, this isn't the same situation you went through. I want this. I want to be with you, it's my choice."

Peeta stared down at her," It's my choice too."

"Then make love to me, give us this time."

Peeta relaxed his back before bending his spine to pull back before pressing into her once again. Their hips colliding with each others as he moved inside of her, Peeta closed his eyes wanting to concentrate on every sensation her body was sending through his.

Katniss raised her knees up to set against his hips as he pushed their bodies together, the warmth pooled where they were joined and she could feel her entire body tense and retract.

Peeta could feel her emotions rolling off of her in waves, his too were heightened as the air around them became charged. He marveled at the situation of having her below him, their bodies moving in sync.

In this moment the connection they had forged in the dark, while holding onto each other in a cold room of an orphanage, had begun to grow.

Peeta could feel a sense of terror rising up through him, not because having her make love to him was troubling, it was the opposite, it was transcendent. No his fear came from the thought that soon he would have to pull their bodies a part, he would feel the absence of her. And he was terrified that feeling the loss of her may very well break him.

* * *

The light of the day began to shine through the window casting sunlight on the bare olive skin stretching along her back, the tones of her complexion glowed under the light. Her arms were stretched out above her head, her thick curls tangled around her biceps while the rest was pressed between the pillow and her cheek.

Peeta scooted closer to her until his chest was up against the side of her breast, as he propped himself up on his side by his elbow. He reached out his free hand to her back, tracing a light touch down the line of her spine. Katniss shivered before giggling the front of her body lifting off of the bed for a few seconds.

Katniss buried her face into the pillow below her," That tickles."

Peeta shook his head a bemused smile playing at his lips," It's supposed to be sexy."

Her dark hair fell over his forearm as she turned her face towards him," Well, it tickles to me."

Peeta creased his brow," Perhaps you're just strange."

Katniss stuck her tongue out at him while nudging his chest with her side, causing the sheet at the small of her back to slide midway down her bottom.

Peeta chuckled softly before reaching a finger out to her running the tip of his finger over her bottom lip," I can think of a better use for that thing."

Katniss rolled her eyes feigning hurt," Gross."

Peeta curved his bottom lip out nodding," Gross, huh?"

Katniss laughed nodding," Yes, gross."

Peeta shrugged," Alright, you asked for it."

Katniss raised a brow, curious about his response when without warning he grabbed her by the side rolling her on her back. Katniss laughed deeply, her bare chest rising and falling rapidly, as Peeta straddled her legs, settling above her.

Katniss kicked out playfully underneath him, while his right hand went to her hands capturing each one with his palm. His other hand went to her side grazing her ribs there, Katniss now trapped beneath him tried to bend her body to the side, vainly attempting to fight off the attack.

She was unsuccessful as a rush of laughter came over her, Katniss struggled to catch her breath, as Peeta buried his face in her neck, kissing her pressure point. Katniss rolled the back of her head on her pillow, tangling her hair even more, as her lungs burned from the lack of air.

Peeta lifted his face up, their noses now touching," Do you give up?"

Katniss smiled softly," And what if I don't? What if I want to keep fighting?"

Peeta smiled, as he caressed the side of her face with his free hand," Well, you wouldn't be my girl if you decided not to fight back," Peeta kissed her on her nose softly before raising back to look into her grey eyes," I don't know how I would feel if you were any different… probably lost."

Katniss cleared her throat a mischievous gleam in her eyes," That's good to know."

Before Peeta could question, her right knee rose up forcing itself into the side of his stomach causing him to roll off of her in mock pain. Katniss laughed as he held his side, settling down beside her, the sheet twisting around their legs.

Peeta sighed as he watched her," I'm lucky you have bad aim."

Katniss narrowed her eyes at him as she pushed her hair from her face," Actually, I missed on purpose. If I really wanted to hurt you I would have aimed lower and over to the side, but I figured I wasn't done with you yet, so I didn't want to damage anything."

Peeta smiled softly before it faltered and his face became somber," Yeah."

She watched him fold his arms over his chest, his shoulders pressing into the mattress.

"Peeta I didn't mean for it to sound like I was using you," Katniss groaned rubbing her face harshly," I am such an idiot."

She could feel him move beside her, Katniss assumed he was preparing to leave the bed, angry from her foolish mistake. When she felt his hands on hers bringing them from her face she was more than shocked, her eyes meeting his, their joined hands resting at her chest.

Peeta breathed in deeply before speaking," It's just occurred to me that the only time I feel safe enough to be who I really am is when I'm with you," Peeta slipped one of his hands from hers to bring it up to her face, tracing the lines of her bone structure," I have to fake everything with everyone and along the road I lost who I was, but you help me remember and I missed feeling… genuine."

Katniss turned her head to the side, leaning into his hand, kissing his palm," I think you give me far too much credit."

Peeta shook his head," I don't think you receive enough," Peeta's hand traveled up to the crown of her head fingering the small strands there," Do you realize the strength it took for you to survive for as long as you did? You had to fight for yourself, because no one else would."

Katniss could feel the tears welling up in her eyes," You make it sound more powerful than it really is."

Peeta leaned down placing his lips onto hers softly in a chaste kiss before rising," Most people, myself included would have given up long ago."

Katniss let go if his hand leaving it at her bare chest, reaching up to cup his face," I don't think you realize the capacity for love you have. It's a gift that others tried to take form you, but you held onto it," Katniss thumbs rubbed at his cheek bones," that takes strength too."

Peeta shook his head," I didn't have strength when I left you, when we were younger."

Katniss kissed him softly, her lips were still against his when she spoke," But you're here now."

Peeta parted from her," But think of all the time we lost because I was careless."

Katniss lowered her hands to his chest as he hovered over her, his hand still at her hair while other laid at her chest," What do you mean careless?"

Peeta combed through the strands of hair not trapped underneath her head," It was after we kissed for the last time before I left, I was at the center of the city picking through any spare and forgotten resources, mostly food and clothing I could bring back to the orphanage. I was across from the cart of the jewelry maker and there was this necklace with a silver chain, and at the end was a small pearl. It made me think about you and honestly I hadn't stopped thinking about you since we kissed, I wanted to give you something that would mean that we belonged to each other. So even though I knew how foolish it was to try to take it, I tried anyway, and I got caught," Peeta closed his eyes as he continued on willing the tears not to fall," I was able to lie convincingly to the Peacekeepers and merchant about how my mother had a necklace that was similar, and how on her deathbed she had clung onto the necklace until with her last breath her hand opened and it fell to the ground. The female merchant had already started to cry and it appeared one of the Peacekeepers had begun to as well, when I turned around slowly, trying to calmly make my escape I ran into someone. I had bumped into President Snow, apparently he had been watching me for some time even before I went for the necklace. He gave me two choices, either I dedicate my like toward the Capitol or I wouldn't have a life at all. So I left you because I wasn't strong enough to get away."

Katniss raised herself up on her elbows, her lips brushing his," I think you need to forgive yourself. It wasn't your fault."

Peeta sighed," Then why do I feel like it is?"

Katniss shook her head, the ends of her dark curls brushing against the pillow beneath her," I don't know, maybe all of the pain and regret just need to be let go of."

Peeta laid down onto his back while pulling Katniss towards him, their bodies settled into the mattress together. She flipped her hair back careful not to catch it between her back and Peeta's arm as he wrapped his arms around her.

Katniss laid her ear against the spot where his heart beat was, the steady pulse sent shivers through her naked body, as Peeta craned his neck to kiss her on top of her head, his arms squeezing her tight.

Katniss inhaled deeply," Everything is going to be different between us now, isn't it?"

Peeta moved his hands up and down her sides affectionately," I think so."

Peeta could feel the breathe in his lungs cease as he waited for her to respond, everything went silent except for the sound of blood rushing to his ears. When a couple of seconds went by without her speaking Peeta craned his neck to the side to see her face.

She had fallen asleep, Peeta had to hold back his laughter when she began to lightly snore, her breath warm on his bare chest. Peeta closed his eyes thankful for the short time he already had with her, because he knew that it wouldn't last, because for him there was always pain waiting to shatter any hope he had gained.

And the dark haired woman holding onto him as she slept, trusting him enough to be unguarded, was the closest thing he knew to peace.

* * *

The tips of her toes scrapped against the wooden floor boards as she swung her legs back and forth with nervous energy. It was proving more difficult to be in a room with him and act as though nothing had changed, than she previously expected.

He would sneak glances at her from across the table from behind his bangs as they fell in front of his blue eyes. A knowing smirk formed at the corners of his mouth and she wanted to playfully kick him for not being able to hide his true feelings.

To be honest, Katniss was also finding it difficult to not appear giddy at the moment, with her hands as idle as her legs she picked up her fork scrapping it along her plate until she caught a piece of fruit. She brought the fork to her lips before looking across the table to find Peeta still watching her as he also tried to busy his hands.

Katniss darted her tongue out before placing the fruit there slowly, intentionally wanting Peeta to squirm. He narrowed his eyes at her, a groan escaped his lips as she closed her mouth dramatically.

Hazelle had been watching the exchange from the kitchen where she had been going about her daily chores. She couldn't help but notice the obvious change to their mannerisms, the tension that usually surrounded them was nearly nonexistent and Hazelle feared what the cause had been for such a change.

She was too occupied with seeming busy that she didn't notice when Haymitch came up behind her, the hand he placed on her shoulder startling her.

Her hand flew to her chest as she fought to breathe through the shock," Haymitch! You shouldn't do that."

Haymitch shrugged as he stuffed a piece of pastry into his mouth," Woman, it's not my damn fault you don't pay attention."

Hazelle shrugged while absentmindedly gliding a wash cloth over the counter top," I was preoccupied."

Haymitch looked around them curiously," What the hell with," his search stopped when he noticed the two seated in the dining room," Those two? Why?"

Hazelle sighed tossing the cloth behind her causing it to land beside the sink," It doesn't matter."

Haymitch shrugged following her into the dining room," Then why do you look so worried, like you're about to vomit?"

Hazelle looked back, throwing him a glare," Shut it."

Haymitch stopped in his tracks taken aback by her tone, Hazelle was never one to tolerate his behavior not even when they were kids, but there was something different about her demeanor. There were few times that she had actually ever snapped at him, the most recent had been after Maysilee's death.

He had been wallowing in his grief for almost two months until Hazelle decided that it was time he actually shave and shower, in return he had yelled expletives at her, he couldn't remember most of it, but when her fist landed against his jaw, he felt more awake than he had in a long time.

It was at that moment that he began to truly respect Hazelle Hawthorne and the influence she had on those around her. He could see her shoulders tense as she entered the dining room, her voice cheery and upbeat, apparently the other two weren't concerned but Haymitch was troubled by it.

Peeta watched as Haymitch followed Hazelle to the table, his chipped nails digging into the wood of a chair before he flipped it around, the back resting against his chest , his legs on either side while he folded his arms over the top.

Peeta tried to ignore the direct stare from Haymitch, he directed his attention back to his plate where he scooted his food to one side then the other. He was far too occupied with seeming unaffected by Katniss' presence that he missed Hazelle at his elbow.

When she touched his arm to get his attention, the tip of his fork tipped the side of his plate sending it spinning on its side. Katniss tried to suppress a laugh, her hand going to her mouth, while Hazelle sighed and Haymitch raised an eye brow.

Peeta cleared his throat as he scrambled to recover pieces of fruit and bread from the table," Hazelle you scared me."

Hazelle tilted her head curiously," I'm sorry. You just seem like your mind was somewhere else. Was it?"

Peeta placed the food on his plate before he turned to her his eyes wide," No," Peeta swallowed," Why would it?"

Hazelle nodded before turning toward Katniss," Katniss how was your whole ordeal last night, it must have been incredibly uncomfortable."

Katniss choked on the piece of fruit," Exscuse me?"

Hazelle smiled softly," Being caught in the rain, remember? You told me that's how you got the cuts on your legs by falling to the ground because of the mud."

Katniss nodded," Yes, that's right. I'm fine now, I made it through."

Peeta had become uncomfortable by the silence that fell over the group, clearing his throat he placed his hands on the side of the table pushing his chair back.

"I have some things I need to handle," Peeta looked up at Katniss, her eyes already following his movements," so I should go…. Ummm-"

Haymitch grined," Handle them?"

Peeta smiled his lips strained, pointing to Haymitch," Yes!"

Peeta stood up frozen in his place before he turned from the table walking quickly to the foyer that led to the stairs and ultimately the second floor. Haymitch turned his chair to watch Katniss, the wooden legs echoing a thud through the room.

Katniss exchanged glances with both he and Hazelle until she mumbled something about needing to rest. Her legs had tangled with the chair causing her to almost fall face forward beside the table.

She righted her footing making her way around the table, careful not to run into Haymitch as he sat watching her. Katniss all but ran from the dining room, earning a chuckle from Haymitch.

He leaned back, his hands holding on the chair," So you know they're having sex right?"

Hazelle nodded picking up a stray piece of fruit to throw it across the table," Yes, I know."

* * *

The worn pad of paper tickled the palm of his hand as he steadied it, his arm bent at the elbow, as his other hand held onto a piece of charcoal. His legs were outstretched before him, setting on the ledge of the wall that spanned around the porch.

He turned his ankles around in circles to ensure that the circulation hadn't stopped, there was nothing worse than when your legs fell asleep. The thin piece of coal danced around the page, leaving thick prominent markings in its wake.

He had been inspired after their time together after breakfast this morning, he had been waiting for her when she had come upstairs. Peeta had startled her when he took her by the wrist pulling her body to his, it didn't take long until she was kissing him, and in the hallway they had rediscovered the curves of each other's body.

Peeta smiled to himself as her face started to form underneath the smudges of charcoal, she was his muse, the real inspiration he craved. He was following the lines transforming the blank page into an image when someone came up beside him, nearly knocking him off of the wall.

Peeta clutched his chest with the hand holding the coal," Hell, Haymitch! You scared me!"

Haymitch rose a brow," You've been pretty jumpy lately. There a reason why?"

Peeta shook his head folding the pad closed," No, not at all."

Haymitch sighed rubbing his hand over his bearded face," Can we cut the shit here?"

Peeta looked to him, his brow creasing," What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and the girl. Do you really think you two were so smooth that Hazelle and I couldn't tell that something is going on between the two of you?"

Peeta hung his head," It isn't what you think, it's more-"

Haymitch covered his eyes a groan escaping his lips," Don't' tell me you-"

Peeta looked back over to Haymitch," I love her, Haymitch."

Haymitch lowered his hand, his eyes sad," Kid, I was afraid of that. I was hoping it was just about sex, that we could deal with."

Peeta reached at his neck, massaging the muscles there," What am I supposed to do? Just let her go ahead and marry another man?"

Haymitch nodded," Yes."

Peeta shook his head," I can't-"

Haymitch stepped into him," The woman I loved died because I thought that I could say whatever I wanted to about the Capitol, and that I alone would reap the repercussions, but you and I know they don't work that way. They come at you sideways, they take what you love the most and my wife is dead because I was too vain to realize how it all worked, and you are doing the same with Katniss."

Peeta jumped from the wall, the sketch book falling to the ground open to the page he had been working on," Do you think I want her to feel any more pain?"

Haymitch bent down picking the pad up, he studied the drawing before giving it back to Peeta," You made your decision kid, don't make her have to suffer through them with you. Think about what's best for her."

Peeta watched as Haymitch walked down the steps to where his lonely cabin sat. He knew he was watching his future walking away from him, he too would become isolated and bitter.

Even though it pained him to do so, Peeta would have to give her up, and any hope for the future he had been holding onto to.

* * *

_A/N: There's only a few chapters left in this story, and I hope everyone is still enjoying it. **PLEASE REVIEW.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you once again to everyone who takes the time to review, favorite, and watch this story. You guys rock!_

_And as always thank you to Wildharp for beat-ing._

Chapter Ten

The rhythmic beat of rain pounding at the window as the train moved forward was threatening to lull him to sleep. His entire body felt drained of any semblance of energy, and any movement he made was exact and painful.

He had tried to settle into the plush velvet of the seating in the train compartment, but his muscles were unwilling. The lack of sleep from the night before had already caught up to him, and he was paying the consequences of his weary mind.

Peeta reached up to his forehead gathering up the stray strands of bangs that had fallen out of place, and with deliberate action smoothed them back into form with the others.

He glanced to his side where the window was placed, taking a quick survey of his appearance, his hair was now in top form as was his attire, but the dark circles around his eyes revealed the troubled mind of a man who had suffered pain and loss far beyond his years.

His skin was paler than usual and he could see how dim his blue eyes had become, he reminded himself that losing hope could have that affect on you. It had been sunrise before he realized he hadn't slept at all that evening, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Her bare skin was warm and inviting pressed against his body, and he had to fight the urge to run his fingers down her side, caressing the smooth olive skin there. After his conversation with Haymitch, Peeta had walked down to the woods looking for answers and solace, but all he found was her.

The air smelled of her skin, and the memory of when she had come to him after the rain storm was permanently burned into his mind.

He could remember the tastes of her skin, salty and earthy, and even a place that had once given him peace, was now another place where he would have to fight back the pain after she was gone.

Katniss had filled a place in his being that had been empty for so long, and now that she would soon be leaving, it too ,like his soul, will be hollow.

After an hour of waiting for peace when eventually none came, he walked back up to the manor, his legs heavy and unwilling.

The house was quiet and he assumed that Hazelle had left to attend to her other duties, while Haymitch was likely stowed away in his cabin drinking himself into a stupor.

Talking of his deceased wife had a certain affect on him, and Peeta, especially now that he too would drown himself in liquor after Katniss' parting, couldn't fault him for trying to find any separation from his pain.

Peeta made his way to his room in a daze, his movements involuntary as he approached the door , pushing it open to reveal the delicate form of her back, dark waves of hair shining from the incoming light.

He breathed in deeply before taking a step into the room, she turned to the side revealing her profile, as his resolve slowly dwindled away. Her fingers were nervously picking at the threads on the quilt covering his bed that had come undone after years of use.

Peeta watched as her down casted eyes rose up to meet his , grey pools that shined, bore through him and for a second he had forgotten how to breath.

A smile came over her full lips, as she rose from the bed, making her way to him, the cotton of her dress brushing against the skin above her knees as her body shimmied in his direction.

Peeta's eyes fell to the curve of her hip, where the material bunched before laying smooth against her curves.

Katniss' arms were around him in a tight embrace before he had time to react, her chest pressed into his ribs, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through the layers of clothing separating them.

Peeta tried to still his mind, he needed to disconnect from the sensations that were rushing through his body, but instinct and the powerful need to feel her was winning out.

He reached over to her chin, his fingers curling over the delicate structure there, to lift her face up towards his.

Peeta wasted no time pressing his lips to hers, the supple feel of her skin on his earned a moan that escaped his body, as she smiled into his lips before opening hers to him.

The control they once had was now lost as feverish kisses were spread upon bare skin and roaming hands were aggressive and inpatient.

After she had fallen asleep in his arms, her naked body bending and forming to the lines of his own body, Peeta watched as her chest rose and fell with each deep breath.

He held onto her for as long as he could and when the time had come to let her go, he mourned the thought of never having her close again, because his actions today would drive her away for good.

Peeta turned from his reflection, he needed to become comfortable with the idea of not being able to look himself in the eye, because after he gave up the love of his life, he wouldn't want to be seen anymore, least by himself.

The trip was taking longer to the station than he remembered, perhaps his self loathing was making the ride seem longer. Peeta was tempted to inquire about the time when suddenly the train came to a stop.

He snuck a glance at the window, when curiosity came over him, the familiar slick walls of the train station weren't outside his window, instead a never ending maze of gardens and fountains came into view.

Peeta had to stop the gasp from escaping from his throat when he stared out into the massive garden.

His attention was brought back inside of the train when an attendant he didn't recognize walked into the compartment waving him on.

Peeta nodded in acknowledgement, before standing up from his seat, his legs wobbly and unsure. He waited until he was positive he could walk without tripping over his own feet, his hands smoothed down his suit jacket , the material soft to the touch, before he proceeded to exit the compartment and train.

The scent of citrus and flowers hung in the air, the contrast to the scents of the Capitol wasn't lost on him, he was thankful for once not having to breath in ammonia.

Peeta's eyes adjusted to the sunlight as bursts of color surrounded the grounds, he was almost in awe of how a mural of color seemed to form in front of him. A small intake of breath sounded to his left earning his attention, the attendant from before was waiting on him to follow, her arms impatiently crossed as she glared at his disregard to her presence.

Peeta ducked his head, as he continued to follow her further into the grounds. The wind picked up spreading the aroma of flowers along with their forgotten petals into the air, Peeta breathed in deeply, his head becoming dizzy by the sudden assault of smells.

The woman stopped short causing Peeta to nearly run into her, his feet luckily catching into the ground around him, before a collision could occur. She seemed unaffected by his clumsiness as she turned on her heel the way they had come, Peeta debated following her until he saw a man approaching from the stone steps and columns.

He seemed vaguely familiar, but the auburn hair was a dead giveaway that the man closing the distance was the same that would soon be betrothed to the only woman Peeta ever loved, the man was Lord Darius.

Peeta straightened his back wanting to enforce any dominance he had left, he had heard that Darius was one of the few good men in the Capitol, but Peeta wasn't going to make it easy for him on principle alone.

Darius stretched his arm out, his hand open for a hand shake," Companion Mellark, my apologizes that you had to come all this way, but I want you to know how thankful I am that you did."

Peeta stared at his hand before taking it," Of course, Lord. And I want to thank you for responding so quickly to my request."

Darius chuckled softly," It was out of the ordinary, but so is the young woman we are here to discuss," he smiled softly as if a memory was coming to mind," but in all of the most interesting ways."

Peeta nodded trying not to grit his teeth in irritation before releasing the man's hand," Yes, Miss Everdeen is an exceptional young woman."

Darius straightened his jacket," That she is Companion Mellark."

Peeta was afraid to move, but not from intimidation, instead from the sheer force of rage that was rising up through his body.

The man in front of him would one day have a life with her, he would be able to hold her in public, to build a life with her, and someday have a family.

Peeta willed himself to settle as he plastered on a smile hopeful it looked genuine," Shall we begin?"

Darius nodded turning his back to Peeta without a further word as he led the other man up the stone walkway, before reaching steps that led to marble columns. Peeta assumed it was a porch, but the span of it could have fit into the down stairs area of his manor in district twelve.

Darius looked back at Peeta as they approached, a massive door that reached at least twenty feet high. It wasn't long until another attendant was waiting by the door to open it for the two men.

Darius graciously stepped aside waiting for Peeta to walk through first. Peeta hesitated at first studying the man before him, he finally conceded walking through the entryway.

He could hear Darius' footsteps behind him, as he took in the sight before him, of high vaulted ceilings and rich tapestries hanging from the marble stoned walls.

Intricate murals spanned the far wall, with color and designs, the hallway alone was intimidating enough, Peeta was anxious to see the appearance of the rooms that were meant to impress.

He was also surprised by how much everything seemed almost classic, with clean lines and class. Much of the Capitol was flashy, but for the most part unforgettable, but the manor he now walked through was simple but memorable.

It only reminded Peeta of the differences between wealth and prosperity, because it was easy to have money in the Capitol, but it was another thing to have power that spanned over hundreds of years.

Peeta was about to be in the company of people with real power, and he hoped his will was strong enough to stop the shaking that was threatening to overtake his body.

He could feel his stride wane as Darius' footsteps behind him sounded closer, Peeta stepped to the side allowing him to lead him forward. The two men came upon a marble archway which led to a large foyer, Peeta tried to keep his mood calm as the mere sight of the marble room with its crystal fixtures and rich colored tapestries hanging from the walls, intimidated him.

The manor had a life of its own, and Peeta felt insignificant in its presence. The sound of the soles of his shoes pounding the marble floors echoed through the room, the sound almost deafening, as Peeta followed Darius to a door located at the far wall.

The main with the auburn colored hair, pushed the door open, revealing a room even more impressive than the last. Darius nodded for Peeta to walk through, a slight smile on his handsome face.

Peeta wanted to hold onto his dislike for the man but he was making it difficult for Peeta to keep his resolve as time went by. This only made Peeta even more irritated, his muscles tensing, as he walked into the room filled with elegance and color.

The walls seemed to shine, with everything being polished immaculately, more tapestries hung from the walls, although this room seemed more personal than he would have expected.

Darius came up behind Peeta to stand at his side, his hand waving him on once again.

"My parents are waiting for our arrival," Darius began to walk over to a sitting area," Please come, Companion Mellark."

He had been so taken by the manor that Peeta had missed the couple seated a few meters away. Their appearances puzzled him, like Darius they seemed almost normal, he might even say natural, their complexions were fare like their son's, the same deep auburn hair sat upon their heads as well.

Like their home, they were elegant, even only being a few feet from them he could feel the air of superiority that they held themselves at. Darius was already to the velvet seating when Peeta rounded the corner, their eyes already sizing him up.

He felt small and anxious under their gazes, he could feel his throat involuntarily swallow the amount of saliva already building in his mouth. Peeta's eyes flitted to the side before connecting with the green set staring at him, he shifted his weight before settling down beside Darius.

The matron of the house scooted to the edge of the seat, her manicured nails tapping at the wood of the sofa not covered by velvet. Her dark red hair hung down around her shoulders in waves, the color still puzzled him, it was almost troubling to find anyone in the Capitol who hadn't altered most of their body.

Her posture was perfect, and Peeta got the feeling of how similar her perch was to how a predator watched its prey before pouncing. He could feel his legs beginning to shake, his closed fists went to his knees pushing his feet flat against the ground.

Peeta's attention shifted to the man with the slender shoulders seated beside his mate, his throat clearing loud enough to alert everyone that he wished to speak.

His wife's posture relaxed, her back leaning back enough to touch the velvet of the sofa but she still kept her composure.

Even Darius beside Peeta seemed to become more relaxed, his hands relaxed at his sides, his fingers uncurling from the fabric of his pants.

The man cleared his throat once more before speaking," I feel that addressing the matter immediately would be appropriate for all parties," he straightened his back,as his hands folded over his lap," we could deal with propriety and muddle through introductions, but from what I've heard about you Companion Mellark I think you would appreciate if we get down to business."

Peeta nodded sharply," I can't deny that being able to pass over the unnecessary pleasantries is appealing, but I wouldn't want to offend you in any way, my Lord," Peeta snuck a glance at the women to the man's right," I am quite aware of the power that your family wields, and I would rather not be a topic of negativity for you."

The man lightly chuckled," Well, I have to say I appreciate your honesty," the red headed man glanced over to his wife," I have to admit it isn't common for those outside of this family to voice what they truly believe. My wife and I usually try to avoid most citizens of the Capitol, we aren't what you would call social butterflies."

Peeta sat up straight smoothing his jacket down," I have noticed your absence, it's usually the topic of conversation, or should I say gossip."

The woman cracked a small smile," Yes, well those with small minds have very little imagination," she waved her hand in the air towards Darius," our son is more than willing to represent for the family."

The Lord nods in agreement before taking the conversation over once again," I believe this is where he met your handmaiden," he looks over to Darius for confirmation before he earns a slight nod," but I have to say my wife and I are concerned about her upbringing, and what affects that would have on our family."

The Lady of the manor cleared her throat before speaking," It is now a known fact of how volatile she can be, but I can't lie and say that knowing Lord Cato finally received some much needed _education _didn't please me. But with that said, what is to stop her from attacking one of us or her children if her temper presents itself?"

Peeta could feel his body tense as his need to protect Katniss was rising," Yes, Miss Everdeen does have a tendency to become defensive, but she isn't dangerous or callous. She is a young woman with incredible strength and character, who even in spite of everything she has had to endure has kept her compassion," Peeta shifted in his seat before continuing," And yes she may have humble beginnings but genetically she will be able to provide heirs that haven't been subjected to years of inbreeding, because the classes refuse to widen their parameters so to speak. She'll give your son male heirs who will be strong and healthy and not have to worry about an onslaught of genetic illness which seem to be effecting the other breeding Capitol borns."

The man eyed Peeta for a minute before he answered with his brow furrowed," I have to admit that Miss Everdeen is a more appealing option to my wife and I than an opportunist Capitol born maiden, but her wild spirit still concerns us."

Peeta opened his mouth to speak but it's Darius beside him whose voice filled the room," Father, her spirit is what I love most about her. Yes she can be impulsive, but it also comes from great passion I've never seen from anyone Capitol born. The resilience this one woman has is inspiring, I have felt inspired by her, and I feel such qualities shouldn't be dismissed because of where ,and to whom, she was born."

Peeta looked over to the man with his angular profile and coifed red hair, he held a sense of compassion, but Peeta felt more threatened by the man than he had before.

He had true affection for Katniss, and this only worried Peeta more. It would have been easier for him if Darius only wanted her as a trophy, but he seemed to genuinely want her for a mate, and there was a chance that Katniss could grow to feel for him in the same way.

However, Peeta couldn't deny that the words that Darius had spoken for Katniss were some that he would have expressed, so even though he disliked the idea of another man caring for her, he had a small amount of respect for the Lord seated beside him.

Peeta watched Darius before turning back to the Lord and Lady in front of him, their faces stoic and thoughtful.

Darius had begun to fidget beside him and he could feel the seat shift underneath him as the other man anxiously awaited his parents decision.

The clearing of the Lord's throat brought back Peeta's attention," I cannot deny that we still have concerns over the young Miss Everdeen, but we do think she has potential to become a proper Lady and mate to our son. So with this said we give our permission for the engagement and ultimately the union."

Peeta could feel the bile rising up from his stomach to his throat, he attempted to push it down," Thank you Lord," he turned to the side where the woman watched with bright eyes," Lady."

The Lord smoothed his hair back before moving in closer to his wife," There is the matter of finances before officially brokering the union. Am I correct in assuming that the girl has no dowry or wealth of any kind?"

Peeta shook his head a few strands of his bangs falling to the side of his face," No my Lord you wouldn't be mistaken, therefore I wouldn't see the reasoning in having to deal with any financial issues pertaining to the union."

The man eyed Peeta for a second before answering," I believe in propriety, and even though the young woman is without family or any practical worth, I think we can still broker a deal of sorts."

Peeta could feel his anger rising as they discussed Katniss as nothing more than a business deal but he had to remind himself of the importance of protecting her and ensuring she had a future, because with him only heart break and possible death awaited her.

Peeta gritted his teeth before smiling with no genuine emotion behind it," Well thank you for being so understanding, Lord. Perhaps we should begin as soon as possible?"

* * *

Her anxiety was reaching a new level as she sat back on the velvet seating in the train compartment, her body settling in to the cushion.

The entire day so far had been bizarre, she had woken in Peeta's bed to find his presence noticeably absent. She had shrugged it off assuming he had gone to his art room or had needed to leave on Companion business.

Katniss had dressed before Hazelle was to arrive for the morning, before grabbing a piece of fruit to eat as she walked across the manor to her forest.

She had almost made it to the tree line when out of the corner of her eye she spotted a blur of bright orange, her attention had been caught as she turned towards the out of place color amongst the grays and deep greens of the district.

Katniss had to stifle a laugh over how out of place the man seemed surrounded by nature instead of artificial life found in the Capitol.

His manicured hand swatted out into the space before him, as he cursed the amount of mud found around the manor.

Katniss debated sneaking into the woods using the trees as cover, but then she would be subjugating Hazelle to the man ,and she knew how irritated the usually calm woman could become when having to deal with Capitol citizens.

With a heavy sigh, Katniss unwillingly trudged up the small hill leading to the manor, where the man in his pressed suit complained.

He nearly fell over in surprise when Katniss approached him, a slight smile on her lips for making him uneasy.

She didn't want to think of herself as malicious, or someone who reveled in another person's pain, but seeing the man uncomfortable gave her a feeling justice if only for a few seconds.

His narrow eyes watched her closely as if she was about to attack him, his gangly limbs still tattering, his feet not yet used to the mud.

Katniss forced her voice to sound pleasant," If you're looking for Companion Mellark, he's not here at the present but you're welcomed to wait."

The man shook his head as he lifted his legs out of the mud alternating between the two," No, I wasn't looking for the Companion of the manor. In fact I'm here on official business regarding his maiden."

Katniss felt her stomach drop, assuming somehow the Capitol had been informed of how her relationship to Peeta had changed," You're looking for his handmaiden? Why?"

The man sniffed in the air, his face wrinkling when the musk of the district entered his nostrils," I'm not permitted to discuss such things with those who are not privy to the information."

Katniss nodded swallowing hard before she spoke," In that case, I'm the Companion's handmaiden."

The man blew out a sigh of relief," Thank the heavens I was terrified I would have to scour this forsaken district looking for one girl," the man wiped his forehead, a layer of sweat now covering the back of his hand, a look of digust on his face," Lord Darius was very adamant that I bring the girl back to his family's manor in a timely fashion."

Katniss stepped forward her curiosity peaking," Darius sent you? Why?"

The man shook his head," _Lord_ Darius asked that I retrieve you, and bring you to him, that is all I am permitted to reveal," he looked Katniss up and down disproval written all over his face," I would advise changing into something more appropriate, but it's only a humble suggestion."

The man forced a smile as Katniss had, she fought the urge to roll her eyes at his admission of being humble. Capitol citizens were many things but humble wasn't an adjective she would use, when referring to the large city's inhabitants.

She straightened her shoulders as she made her way past the fussy man, and up the porch steps.

She turned halfway to motion to him that she was going inside, earning only a slight nod between his complaints. Katniss entered the house, not waiting to look for Hazelle's presence before she made her way up the stairs and into her room.

She glanced to the side of the hallway which led to Peeta's art room, his lack of presence had begun to bother her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind.

She dressed quickly into a simple sun dress with embroidered flowers stitched into the fabric, her hair brushed through quickly, the dark curls falling to her back as she slipped into a pair of light sandals which were sure to fall off of her feet as she walked.

She looked herself over quickly before exiting her room and finally the house to find the man still in his place at the foot of the stairs. He looked her over, before shrugging and motioning for her to follow.

The walk to the train felt longer than it should, her stomach already in knots before she boarded.

Katniss barely noticed the stopping of the train, as an array of color came into view beyond the tinted window of the train compartment.

She squinted past the glass and plastic of the window, before her eyes fell upon the weaving maze of gardens.

She tried to hold back a sigh, at the beauty outside of the train. The man who had escorted her waved her on silently, motioning for her to stand and follow before he walked out of the compartment.

Katniss stood from her seat brushing any wrinkles from her dress before walking out the compartment to join the attendant. The fresh smell of flowers washed over her as a gust of wind wrapped itself around her body causing the hem of her dress to rise slightly.

Her hand unconsciously went to the fabric as she held it to her thigh, her fingers hooking into the material. The man motioned to her side, where she could already hear approaching footsteps, turning she could see Darius closing the gap between them.

Her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her dress as he drew nearer, a genuine smile playing at his lips. He motioned to the attendant signaling for him to take his leave before reaching out to Katniss his palm upturned.

His voice was soft and calm," I hope you weren't alarmed by how unannounced your visit has been," his fingers curled over her hand, the tips brushing against the skin of her thigh," I wouldn't want the occasion to be spoiled."

Katniss reluctantly allowed Darius to lead her further into the garden, the array of scents and color almost over powered her senses as they made their way past massive fountains and curved vines which weaved through flowers she had never seen before.

Every sight seemed like something out of her book, a far off place with magic and true beauty. Darius's hand was soft and warm as they walked through the garden in silence, she enjoyed his company.

It was different than when she was with Peeta, she didn't feel the same tingly sensations with Darius, but he did help ease her anxiety, and she decided that at least he didn't make her feel threatened.

Her voice rung out surprisingly loud in the maze of the garden as they rounded another corner," Where are we exactly?"

She could hear a laugh come from his lips before he spoke," It's my family's garden."

Katniss looked around her eyes wide," This is all your family's land?"

Darius laughed out loud," This isn't even half of our land, but this side of the garden is my favorite. I would play in here for hours when I was a boy. It made think of something out of one my books, where the hero would battle dragons and other evil beasts."

Katniss ducked her head, her cheeks blushing," I was actually thinking that this place reminded me of a book, I have. There's fairies, a brave prince, and magical beasts. The book always made me feel safe. Maybe because it was world that had rules and the things that happened made sense."

Darius stopped walking causing Katniss to crash into him her mind somewhere else, he laughed lightly as he caught her in his arms helping her stay upright.

Katniss' free hand landed at his chest, her fingers pressing against the silk of his button up shirt. His chest wasn't as defined as Peeta's, but she was surprised how muscular he was for someone who seemed as lean as he did.

She looked up to his face, his green eyes bright surrounded by the color of the garden.

He smiled softly as he held onto her," I keep finding myself more and more fascinated by the way your mind words. I'm marveled by it."

Katniss stood up fully pulling from his grasp and removing her hand from his chest, her cheeks blushing," Thank you, Lord. I take it there aren't many maidens who favor the written word."

Darius laughed," Not many if any, other than yourself of course. I think most learn for the sole purpose of being able to see how many jewels they'll be receiving when their union is brokered. Intellect is seen as a trivial thing to most Capitol borns."

Katniss eyed him for a second," But not to you?"

Darius shook his head slowly," No. I see it as something to be favored, I think it's one of the reasons why I like you so much. I know that if you and I were to be together it could be based on something more than my wealth."

Katniss watched him slowly," Darius, I hope I haven't given you the wrong impression-"

Darius stepped forward taking her hands in his," Katniss I can build a very comfortable life for you here, where you'll never have to want for anything. You'll never have to struggle or suffer, you can feel safe with me."

Katniss' feet shifted as her palms began to sweat," Darius, I-"

He smiled wide, his green eyes bright," We can also build a solid union together, Katniss. One where Capitol and district borns can unite and create new generations."

Katniss tried to fight back the tears," But what about love and passion? Aren't they important as well?"

He shook his head, amused by her naïvete," Katniss those things are something from your books and are fleeting, but loyalty and strength are long lasting," he squeezed her hands," I do care for you, and I want to give you the life you deserve."

Katniss began to feel sick, she willed her body to stop shaking, as Darius held onto her," I don't know what to say."

Darius ducked his head as he released one of her hands to fish in his pocket," I do appreciate your honesty," he pulled his hand free revealing a large diamond in a gold setting," Katniss I want you to have this, to show others of our engagement and ultimately our union."

Katniss stood frozen as she watched him slip the ring onto her finger, the diamond rolled to its side lying against her other finger," I suppose we'll have to get it fitted."

She watched him closely as he bent down kissing her hand gently, before standing up to push her hair behind her ears. Katniss could hear a voice in her head telling her run, to flee as far as she could, but she knew that things weren't that simple. She mutely followed Darius over to one of the fountains, sitting down beside him, as an over powering need came over her.

The image of a light haired man with broad shoulders came into her mind, he was the one she was supposed to be engaged to. She wanted passion, not just loyalty and understanding. Above else, Katniss wanted Peeta.

* * *

The manor feels foreign as he steps through the door, his legs heavy from the emotional burden he's been carrying for most of the day.

After he had been returned to the district after brokering the engagement, he had slowly walked back to the manor, his body resistant.

He knew what was waiting for him there, he neither wanted to meet the judgmental eyes of Hazelle or the inevitable emptiness of her room.

Peeta could now understand Haymitch's choice to be left alone in his pain and grief, it was easier to wallow without spectators. When the manor came into view he stopped short, his legs sinking into the newly created mud, with a sigh he turned to his right making his way to the tree line instead.

He knew that the woods would remind him of her, but it was the only place outside of the manor where he could find a little peace.

When Peeta finally made it to the edge of the trees where he normally would settle in, he instead kept walking, deciding to explore the uncharted area of the district.

It wasn't something he had done since first arriving to the manor years before, but he felt lost, and perhaps the best way to become found was to be lost.

The air was crisp and his tailored pants ripped at the seams as twigs and branches from nearby trees snagged on the stitching, and for the first time in awhile he couldn't care less about his appearance.

He had rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up to the elbows, the top three buttons undone, as sweat darkened the material at his chest, back, and underneath his arms.

The product had long sweated out of his dirty blonde hair, his bangs now falling freely over his forehead, tickling the skin below his ears. His legs had begun to falter in their steps as he ventured further into the forest.

He could feel the energy drain from his body, but the intense need to walk was more overpowering than any physical need could be.

Peeta could feel the temperature begin to drop with the departing sun, causing him to finally stop. He fell against a tree, his nails clawing into the bark for leverage.

His breathing was forced and staggered as he tried to catch his breath, the miles of hiking underneath the heat of the sun finally taking its toll on him.

Peeta took in one more heavy breath, the air stinging his raw throat, before let go of the tree, turning to head back up to the manor.

When he finally made it out of the woods, the sun had long set, the moon fully presented in the sky above, casting its light onto his slumping shoulders.

He could feel his legs dragging behind him as he reached the porch using the banister as leverage to keep upright. His palms were sensitive from the scratches he received by hanging onto the bark of the tree, Peeta winced when the old wood of the porch banister slid against the raw skin.

He was more than pleased when he reached the door and noticed the lack of light, he'd rather not have anyone see him in his current state, absolutely broken and fighting for every inch.

The air in the manor was warmer than outside due to the lack of breeze, as he made his way up the stairs in the foyer, ascending up to his room.

He didn't try to sneak a glance towards her room when he made it to the top step, instead he turned towards his room leaving behind the taunting room.

Peeta nearly collapsed against his door when he began to turn the knob to open it, his body lacking any energy.

The wood creaked loudly filling the quiet hallway, as he stepped over the threshold, his shoes caked with mud, leaves, twigs and other things found on the forest floor.

Peeta nearly fell over when he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed, her hands placed on her face as she slumped over.

Her dark hair cascaded around her body like a dark curtain, her spine curved. She isn't aware of his presence until a board creaked underneath his heavy legs.

Peeta stopped short, as she turned to him her eyes rimmed red, presumably from crying, strands of her dark hair had begun to stick to her flushed cheeks.

Katniss inhaled a strangled breath as she took in his current state, he too looks just as lost as she feels.

Her voice filled the room sounding more fragile than she would have liked," Where have you been? I've been worried about you."

Peeta could feel his own tears begin to well up as he watched her," I was out," he reached for the remaining fastened buttons undoing each one before shrugging the shirt off, the top half of his body now bare," it's no big deal. I just needed to think."

Katniss turned to follow his movements as he rounded the bed to sit on the opposite side of her," I was worried about you."

Peeta's back was now to her as he gritted his teeth trying to come off as indifferent, while he took his shoes off," You didn't need to be, I was fine on my own."

Katniss laughed off his odd behavior," That's not the point, it was just strange to not know where you were," Katniss turned the ring on her finger," besides I've been needing to talk to you about something. I've been waiting for hours for you to come back."

Peeta threw the remaining shoe onto the wooden floorboard, before turning to her his eyes landing on the ring," Oh you mean your engagement," Peeta looked up to her face her brow furrowed," Congratulations."

Katniss shook her head clearly confused," Wait! What?"

Peeta plastered on a fake smile his voice upbeat, as he motioned to her ring," Lord Darius has been sought after by a lot of handmaidens, he's what you would call ungettable, and clearly you were able to achieve something many could not… so congratulations."

Katniss closed her eyes trying to gain a grasp on the situation," You are joking? Right?"

Peeta shrugged, as he settled his body onto the mattress," Why would I?"

"Peeta, Lord Darius wants to build a union with me, and you have no objections to this?"

Peeta stretched his arms out, trying to seem calm as his tears threatened to strangle him," Why would I? I am the one that brokered it today with his parents," Peeta tried to ignore the look of betrayal etched on her features," Isn't that why you stayed, Katniss? To find a suitor and hopefully have a life where you wouldn't have to live on the streets? Or do you prefer to live underneath the city like vermin?"

Katniss narrowed her eyes at him her tears spilling over as she fisted the blanket underneath her," You had no right!"

Peeta could feel his own emotions spilling over," I had every right! I'm the Companion, you're my handmaiden, it is my _right_ to broker anything I chose."

Katniss shook her head causing dark curls to fall around her face," No! You did this out of fear not some deranged sense of duty."

Peeta felt sick as the bile rose up in his throat," Fear? Oh are you referring to our recent activities," Peeta tilted his head to the side," Katniss it is only sex, you should learn now it's nothing important. Don't be a clueless child."

Katniss scooted off of the bed," This isn't you."

"Maybe it always was and you were too far involved in your story book to notice."

Katniss nodded," Perhaps you're right. I guess all along you were really the dragon and not the hero."

Peeta watched as she turned on her heel, running towards the door to slam it behind her.

The echo made him shake as he fell to the mattress completely, his body shaking with grief.

It would be easier for her if she hated him, he needed to erase any affection she had for him, so she could truly let go. Peeta decided that he could grieve for their loss on his own, he owed her that much.

* * *

_A/N: I hope everyone is still enjoying this story. There's only a few more chapters left of this story, I'm hoping to have it all written within the next few weeks. **Please remember to review**._

_Stace_


	11. Chapter 11

_As always thank you so much to those you have taken an interest in this story, it means a great deal and I am forever thankful._

_Thank you to SheepAmongstWolves12 for Beta-ing for me while Wildharp was on vacation. Ellen you are already one of my favorite fangirls. Love ya nerd from the other side of the pond.  
_

**Notice: There are Sexual and Violent Situations in this chapter. Please Be A Responsible Reader.**

Chapter Eleven

The smell of rain had already begun to hang in the air, the wind twisting around his body as he settled into the tree behind him, and with a resounding sound the storm clouds begun to roll in announcing their presence.

He could feel the tremors run through his body as it reacted to the chill forming in the air; however his mind was detached with only a sense of loss hanging above him.

His bare feet stretched before his body, his toes burying themselves into the cold dirt below him. Blond bangs hang in front of his eyes obstructing his view of his now dirt covered feet.

His chest rose slowly in rhythm with his deep breathing, his pulse now steady, and a definite difference from before when he had felt his heart may burst from his chest.

In a peculiar way, Peeta missed the frantic intensity, yes it was off putting not to feel in control, but to be able to feel anything, and even pain was assurance that he wasn't entirely numb.

He had become accustomed to losing pieces of himself through the years, after his father had died and as a small boy he would lay by his side until he was taken from the bed, a piece had stayed by the body that had once housed his father.

Another part of him was left at the steps of the orphanage where he had seen his mother for the last time, her eyes hollow and hard as she pried the fingers of an eight year old boy from hers, turning her back on him as a house mother dragged his body inside.

Ever so slowly pieces of him were lost, but none were so great than the part of him he had left behind inside a cold cement room where he had cared for a striking young girl with piercing grey eyes and dark curls that would rush down her back and surround her face.

Peeta was certain now in this moment that he had never truly left that room, there was still a young boy with shaggy blond hair and gangly limbs that he hadn't grown into just yet, huddled in the corner; his knees drawn to his chest, waiting for the girl to come back…to save him.

However, the piece that had left the orphanage, the one that allowed itself to be sold; to be used as amusement for those with wicked intentions, the piece that suffered in blissful, ignorant, silence had sent her away.

He had driven her to the edge, forever tearing her from his life. Peeta had betrayed the young boy who wanted nothing more than to slay dragons with the girl who had the grey eyes.

He could hear the trickling of rain hit the leaves in the trees perched above his head before the beads of water slide down to the dirt, rain surrounding his body.

The fabric of his clothes had already begun to cling to his chest and legs as the rain filled the threads, the heat from his chest slightly cooled from the chill of the rain.

Tiny spots of mud appeared on his hands as the rain hit the ground, the force of the water sending wet soil onto the back of his hands below the knuckles.

Peeta raised his left hand up studying the dark spot as the brushed back the wet strands of hair from his eyes. It felt almost odd that something as insignificant as mud on his hand was interesting, but something about the pale skin covered with the wet dirt was somewhat of a metaphor for his life.

Dark spots had appeared on his soul marring the light he had as a child, when after awhile all he could feel was cold and detached, that is until he had seen her again in the alley, the pure spite she had to fight back had given him some of his strength back.

Peeta could feel the weight of the rain on his body as defeat washed over him with the water falling from the sky. A sharp sound from his left caused him to stare to the ground; a pair of muddy boots standing on top of a broken branch came into view.

Peeta intakes a quick breath before his eyes travel up her body, her clothes have begun to cling to her subtle curves, he stops at the dip between her hips and stomach before finally landing at her face.

Her hair which had been free around her shoulders once, now presses into her flushed skin, the structure of her cheek bones are even more apparent as the dark strands cling to her face.

It takes him a few more seconds before he meets her eyes, afraid of what the deep grey will hold for him, more than anything he fears indifference so much more than hate or betrayal.

The color almost swallows him whole before he makes himself study them closely, there's a fire there, Peeta assumes anger, but behind it is something more, worry perhaps.

She shifts her feet around the broken branch, her left foot kicking it to the side, out of the way of the path, before she folds her arms over her soaked chest.

Katniss keeps her lips pressed together in a tight line as she watches him, studying the broken man, his body sinking into the earth of the forest.

His skin has begun to pale underneath the chill of the rain, but it only causes his bright blue eyes to shine more, even with the abundance of pain they now hold.

Katniss takes a small step forward before the rain begins to fall harder around their bodies and the space between them. Peeta could see the rain weighing her shoulders down as she steps towards him, closing the gap between their bodies. He keeps still, watching her from his place against the tree, large drops of water fall from her hair to land at her bottom lip, causing her to dart her tongue out in reflex.

Peeta felt himself flinch slightly as Katniss lowered her body to the ground, her knees sinking into the soft earth, her hands resting just above the knee caps of her legs.

"What are you doing out here in this weather," she reached out tugging at his nearest arm," Do you want to get sick? I can't imagine many high society Capitol females that could handle a grown man vomiting on them," Katniss laughed to herself snidely," Not that they haven't had much worse on their bodies."

Peeta watched her, his body unyielding as she tugged at his arm," Everything I am, any kind of happiness I feel is wrapped up in you," Katniss' efforts stilled as she looked up into his face, as Peeta shook his head," I don't know how to feel any different. I don't know that I'd want to."

Katniss brought her hand back from his hand, her nails digging into the fabric of her slacks," Then why are you sending me away? Why are you pushing me into another man's arms?"

Peeta closed his eyes before finding hers again," All I saw was pain for you if you stayed. The best I could ever offer you was being my mistress, and even then it can carry a sentence of death. I wanted you to have the life you deserved, and brokering a union between yourself and Lord Darius was the only way I saw fit," he took in a deep breath as the rain gathered around them," But it wasn't until I saw you back at the manor that I realized my mistake. Because now I know that when you leave, you'll be taking a piece of me with you, and I'll never completely be whole again."

Katniss reaches up brushing the drops of rain from her face, her shoulders tense," I don't need you to protect me, or to push me away by saying hurtful things, and I certainly don't need you to tell me how much you care for me."

A small smile forms at his lips, as he watches her wipe the tears from her eyes," You know even when I first saw you through that grimy window in the orphanage; I knew you were something special. You were different than anything or anyone I had ever seen. You had so much fire and strength, even when all you were was big grey eyes and a mass of dark tangled hair."

Katniss pushed herself up, turning away from him," Peeta-"

He ignored her plea," I never saw anything so beautiful, and I knew that I couldn't stay away. I came back each time, trying to feel that rush that you made me feel when I first saw you. Even if it was only for a second. And then I kept going back to just catch a glimpse of a chance of a future with you, where we could be together, and I never would have guessed that I would have given it away to save my own life. I know now that I've never been strong enough for you, you were always the one with the strength."

Peeta watched her back, the slight bend of her spine suggested she was in the middle of crying before she spun around, dark hair flying in the air, her eyes bright and furious," So Peeta, what happens when you regret all of your kind words again? Am I supposed to bounce back with all the strength I'm supposed to have? Have you ever entertained the thought that perhaps I'm just better at hiding my pain than you are," her hands bury themselves in her drenched dark hair," Maybe I need you as much as you need me, but I refuse to be pulled either which way, just because you can."

He nods slowly as he uses the tree behind him to bring himself up off of the ground," I shouldn't have done what I did," she turned her body away, now only her profile was visible," After wards all I could think of was how it should have been you and me, how it always was. How it should be my sons that you bring into this world, our family."

Katniss begins to tremble as the rain falls onto her skin the flesh already risen in bumps," Peeta, please-"

Peeta could feel the ground rise up around his ankles as his feet sunk into the mud, his legs heavy from the fatigue of his emotions and the weight of the rain, Peeta closed the gap between them as he reached for her.

His hands covered with fresh rain and mud grabbed hold of her arms turning her towards him, her face now staring him down. He looked down into her eyes; red rimmed her bright grey eyes as unshed tears joined the rain rushing over her face.

Peeta breathed in slowly before speaking," I love you, Katniss," he could feel her falter in his hands as he held her up," And not just in the way that your books express, in the way where I always want to have you near or how I look forward to midday when the sun shines through the windows because it's then that I can see the light freckles on your nose. I love you in the way where I have to have you lying beside me, your dark hair covering my chest. I love you in a way where you're the only woman I want to have my children with," he could feel her knees give," I love you in a way where you're the only one I've ever wanted to slay dragons with."

Peeta barely had time to react before he saw her crane her neck up, her lips crashing into his. She tasted warm and salty, the rain washing over their bodies as they melted into each other.

* * *

The morning light filtered through the curtains casting onto her bare skin, sheen of sweat still visible, causing her body to glow. Peeta tried to memorize every curve, every dip of her structure; his hands explored her fully for what seemed to be hours.

She would keep her eyes closed, her bottom lip between her teeth as his touch elicited quiet moans and deep smiles.

His stomach was in knots as his fingers glided over the exposed skin at the curve of her breast. The chill from the rain had disappeared from her skin, now only the heat and perspiration from their latest intimate encounter remained.

Peeta grinned as she lifted her back from the mattress, his soft touches tickling her sensitive skin. Dark hair gathered around the top of her head and right shoulder, the ends tangling beneath Peeta as he held himself up with the bend of his arm.

Turned on his side he slid closer to her, as Katniss began to squirm and laugh underneath his finger tips. He watched her face closely, the lines deepening as she giggled lightly, her chest rising rapidly causing the sheet to fall beneath her breasts, exposing them fully.

Peeta's eyes traveled down her body, he was in absolute awe of her beauty. He loved how simplistic she was. There wasn't any underlining agenda or conditions, Katniss was merely to be taken as she appeared, with grace and great courage.

Peeta almost didn't notice the shift in the mattress, as Katniss scooted closer to him, her chest now pressed into his, naked skin meeting naked skin.

Peeta lowered his face to hers, his lips lightly brushing against hers, the contact sent shivers down his body and he could feel the same reaction coming from Katniss, as small tremors worked down her body, a throaty moan escaping her lips.

Katniss leaned back a few inches to speak," Do you think it's wise that we're in bed together, while Hazelle and Haymitch are down stairs?"

Peeta shrugged as his free hand, the other now trapped between their bodies, worked through her tangled hair," Why shouldn't we? We aren't hiding it anymore."

Katniss let out a small laugh," I'm sorry to say this Peeta, but I don't think we were ever able to hide it from those two," Katniss down casted her eyes, her voice steady but quiet;" besides they aren't the ones we should be careful around."

Peeta unraveled his fingers from her hair to place his hand underneath her chin, lifting it up to face him," The Capitol will never hurt you again…I promise."

A small smile formed at her lips, her eyes glistening from a few unshed tears, Peeta raised a brow, curious and concerned.

"What?"

Katniss shook her head, causing her dark hair to fall between them," Nothing. It's just that at this moment I'm reminded of how much you look like the boy I remember from the orphanage," her hand went to the stray pieces of hair that now hung in front of his blue eyes," and I've always loved the way your bangs fall into your eyes."

Peeta catches her hand as she pulls away, bringing her fingers to his forehead, causing the hair there to tangle in their joined hands," I want to be that boy for you. I was so different than I am now, I've lost my way, but I think I've found it now, and I want you to be the one traveling beside me…always."

Katniss sighs before gently pulling her hand from his, her body scooting a few inches to the other side of the bed," Peeta, it means so much to me that you would be willing to be with me, but saying so is so much different than actually being able to do it."

Peeta shakes his head, mussed blonde hair gathered around his face as he closed the gap between their bodies," Katniss these aren't words or empty promises I'm spitting into the air," his free hand goes to her flushed cheek," I want you and I to leave this place, for us to run as far as we can. I want for us to have a family someday, for you and I to share a bed as a union," he looks down to the tangled sheets at their feet before bringing his face back up to hers, tears in his eyes," You are the only good thing in my life, the only one I would throw myself on the fire for."

Katniss took in a staggering breath," And that's what scares me. I don't want you to risk yourself for me."

Peeta slid his body down a few inches before lying down on the pillow beside her, their faces now inches apart," Wouldn't you do the same for me," Peeta brushed his bottom lip against hers, his lips still on hers when he spoke," I know that you would."

Katniss pulled back enough to part their lips," Be that as it may, is it right to pull everyone else into this? You know how the Capitol operates and I don't want Hazelle or even cankerous Haymitch to be caught in the middle."

Peeta leaned forward, his forehead pressed against hers," I promise you that I will take care of everything."

Katniss sighed," But how sure are you that you can just up and leave everything and everyone you've known? This is the life you made Peeta, and yes terrible things have happened, but are you ready to leave it all behind on a whim?"

It was Peeta's turn to pull back, an inch gap between their faces," As long as I have you beside me, I will be forever content. And wanting to be with you has never been on a whim, Katniss. You are the only constant thing in my life; I've known I've wanted to be with you since we were children. Being with you is the purest decision I've ever made."

Katniss averted her eyes, her face flushed from forcing the tears away," I can't help but be fearful of what trouble such a decision will bring you."

Peeta tilted his head to the side so that he was now in her eye line," As long as it brings me you, I will be peaceful."

Katniss closed her eyes, causing a few tears to escape," What if I'm not worth it?"

Peeta sat up pulling her body with his, the sheet falling from their bare bodies," Katniss, don't you know how much you mean to me," she pressed her body into his solid chest allowing his arms to surround her," Every scar, I've had to endure, all of the pain I've felt has brought me to this place. Where I'm holding you against me in a bed that we've shared together, everything I've gone through was worth it, because you are here."

He could feel her smile into his chest, before her warm lips pressed into his bare chest, earning a peaceful sigh from Peeta.

Slowly, he could feel her beginning to relax, her body settling into his. The air in the room was warm as the sunlight graced their joined bodies. Peeta turned his head leaning his cheek onto the top of her head, the stray strands there tickling his nose and lashes.

He felt at home with her against him, the feel of her naked skin pressing into his for reassurance was intoxicating, and for the first time he felt completely whole, he was now the man he was destined to be all along.

Peeta wasn't positive of how long they had been holding each other, his eyes had closed and he assumed he had fallen into a light sleep with her still holding onto him.

Booming voices rung through the lower half of the manor traveling up to his room through the closed door, Peeta could feel Katniss stir against him, her left hand going to her face to rub the sleep away.

The volume of the commotion was only rising as Peeta laid her down beside him, her arms stretching out to the sides.

He watched her for a few seconds before he rolled off of the side his feet plating onto the wooden boards.

He looked over to Katniss who seemed to notice the noise now, her body sitting up frantically pulling the sheet over her exposed skin, dark hair risen up in every which way, as Peeta tried to suppress a laugh at how much she looked like a wild animal.

Searching the floor he found his light colored pants from the night before, Peeta bent down pulling them to his feet, and eventually up his legs and to his waist where he began to button them.

Katniss swung her own legs over the side," What do you think it is?"

Peeta worked his hands through his hair, combing his fingers through the ends," Probably just Haymitch drunk and delirious."

Katniss stood up reaching for a flannel of Peeta's, before slipping her arms through the soft material and buttoning up the front," I'm coming with you."

Peeta shook his head as he rounded the bed, closing the gap between them," No, you just stay in here," he leaned over to kiss her temple gently," it's probably nothing. I'll be back soon."

Katniss began to protest as she watched Peeta walk to the door," But what if-"

Peeta glanced behind him as he neared the door," Stay here," Katniss rolled her eyes," I mean it."

He could hear her complaints as he shut the door behind him, holding onto the frame of the door for a few seconds before booming voices from downstairs grabbed his attention.

Peeta reluctantly stood to his full height, less than willing to help Haymitch when he drank himself hysterical, but it wasn't until he heard the addition of another male voice, that Peeta took off in a run down the stair case.

His bare feet padded on the wooden boards, as he forced his legs to take him quickly. He was able to attain a view of a peacekeeper positioned at the back door, his weapon held against him tightly.

Dread rushed through Peeta as he made his way into the dining room, where the voices were clear now.

He skidded to a stop when he recognized the armed man pressing the barrel into Haymitch's chest accusingly, as Hazelle tried to keep her voice calm and steady while Haymitch seemed to irritate the man further, very much on purpose.

His voice had turned patronizing," I have no idea about any girl, but if you're unable to complete such a simple task on your own I'm sure some clueless fool could help you out."

Hazelle tried to quiet Haymitch down as the Peacekeeper narrowed his eyes, his gun pushing further into Haymitch's chest," I have specific instructions to claim the girl and bring her back to the Capitol, and not even an old drunk like you with a smart mouth will deter that."

Peeta cleared his throat announcing his arrival, his hands going to his hair nervously," Can I help you sir?"

All eyes turned to Peeta, causing him to feel instantly self-conscious, his hands going to his chest reminding him of how acutely undressed he actually was.

Haymitch rolled his eyes at Peeta's lack of dress while Hazelle looked troubled, and the Peacekeeper merely sneered.

It was then that Peeta placed the face of the man to a recent memory; a scar was now permanently marked beneath his eye, a wound that had been given to him by a defiant young woman, the same woman Peeta loved.

Peeta nodded in his direction, as the keeper closed the space between their bodies," Peacekeeper Thread, it's a pleasure to have you in my home. What can I do for you today?"

Thread looked down Peeta's body, clearly enjoying the moments to follow, before he looked back to the blonde young man," The thief you escorted away a few weeks back is being called to the Capitol."

Peeta struggled to keep his composure as his body threatened to fail him," On what business may I ask?"

Thread gripped his gun securely," Soliciting. Although I'm sure district trash like her has more than one felony against her."

The muscles in Peeta's back tensed," Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but she's no longer here," Peeta worked his hand through his hair turning his back to the man, a vain attempt to hide his emotions," she ran away a few days ago. I didn't see the logic in searching for her in such vast woods. I'm assuming the conditions, like weather and wild animals have already brought her to death," Peeta turned back to Thread," I'm afraid you've wasted a trip."

Thread tilted his head, causing a few strands to escape the hair grease used to hold his hair together," Is that right?"

Peeta could feel sweat form at his brow and beneath his arms," Yes."

Thread narrowed his eyes," You do know the penalty for lying don't you, Companion?"

Peeta swallowed hard meeting the man eye to eye," I believe it's death."

Thread shook his head for before breaking sight with Peeta to nod to the keeper posted at the door. Peeta began to pivot back when Thread pushed him to the adjoining wall where Haymitch and Hazelle stood.

His back burned from the contact of the wall, he could already feel superficial cuts form, the ache in his body rising, however when screaming and the sounds of things crashing to the floor erupted above, any momentary pain Peeta had been feeling was now replaced by panic and anger.

He was helpless as the sounds of footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs, Peeta forced his legs to move towards the doorway, where he could see Katniss fighting every step, her hands lashing out to her side as she fought around the rifle pressed into her, her small hands going to the keepers face.

He leaned back out of her grasp, as she struck out towards him, her legs loosing balance causing her to trip the rest of the way. Peeta couldn't help reacting, his body seizing as she flew into the air before colliding with the unrelenting ground.

Katniss heaved on the floor, clearly out of breath by the sudden impact before rolling onto her back, her dark hair fanned out around her onto the wooden boards of the first floor.

Thread approached her, stopping inches from her head, his boot stepping down onto her long dark hair, capturing her. He turned to Peeta who was now a few feet from them, deep lines of worry etched into his face.

"I thought you said she had left."

Peeta's chest tightened as his eye connected with Katniss'," I was mistaken."

Thread laughed out loud, as he observed their state of undressed," It looks like you've been more than mistaken, Companion Mellark. It looks to me you've been conducting actions unbecoming of a man in your position."

Peeta straightened his back," Any position I chose is none of your concern, Peacekeeper."

Thread nods to the other who is now standing above Katniss, her eyes panicked and almost feral now, as the keeper bends down to pick her up, Thread leaves the pressure there at her hair causing to pull; a scream comes from her mouth before he relents, and she is held firmly in the grasp of the armed man.

Katniss kicks out violently, her entire body struggling, desperate to flee from the man's grasp. Thread yells at her to calm down but it isn't until he whistles loudly to gain her attention before she opens up her eyes to see the barrel of his rifle pressed against Peeta's temple that she quiets down and stops resisting.

"Girl if you keep giving me trouble I will paint the floor with his blood."

Peeta grits his teeth pressing his forehead further into the barrel," Go ahead, shoot me! Because if you take her I swear, I will come after you!"

Katniss' legs almost give out, causing the keeper to hold her up," Peeta! No," she takes in a deep breath before standing on her own," Please I'll go with you just don't hurt anyone."

Thread nods to the other man who begins to escort Katniss out, she glances back at Peeta tears in her eyes as she walked to the door.

Pleased with his progress, Thread pulls his gun from Peeta, turning to proceed out the door, positive no threat against him exists. Katniss now walks beside the younger Peacekeeper, her hand reaching out to the door for leverage, when she hears the sound of rushing footsteps behind her, the breath catching in her throat.

Thread turns when she does his gun aimed to fire, Peeta charging with abandonment, when out of nowhere a fist collides with the side of his temple sending him hard to the ground and unconscious.

Haymitch still has his fist poised when he looks to Thread," No more problems here, keeper. He's just a foolish boy."

Threads nods before pushing Katniss forward but not before she can give him a quick nod of gratitude, before her eyes drift over to the body lying on the floor, his limbs sprawled out around his form.

She tried to imprint the structure of his face into her mind, the way his strong jaw blended into his cheek bones. Before long she could still feel his strong arms around her body, the way his hands would roam her body discovering every curve every inch. Time was standing still as she lived in her memories, it was difficult to decipher the past from the future, until a strong tug at the end of her hair brought her head back forcibly, and with that she is dragged from the only home she's known and the man she had planned to spend the rest of her life with.

* * *

She had expected the smell to be the same that she had experienced living in the tunnels, but the surprising lack of odor troubled her. It wasn't as if she missed smelling the rancid decay, but at least it signified that something had existed, instead of apparent absence.

This only reminded her of how they were erased here, not even the stench of her death would be remembered. Her head lulled back once more against the cold stone, her shoulders hunching over once more, as her hair fell to her face.

It was odd for her to not feel the ends of the strands catch between her arms as they crossed over her legs tucking her body into itself. She had grown accustomed to feeling the dark waves down her back, but now they barely reached below her shoulders.

Katniss was aware of how ridiculous it was to mourn such a thing as hair length, but it was only another reminder of how her fate wasn't her own.

The chill in the air is almost strangling as the lack of warmth stings the bare skin of her arms and legs, she thankful that the dampness of her hair and skin had dried before the temperature dropped.

Katniss was curious as to how a room could be so cold when there weren't any windows or vents to allow the temperature to change; she assumed it was another one of the many ways the Capitol used to break those they looked down upon.

At the very least she hoped for a window because then the sunlight could help to regulate the conditions of the room. Instead, the room was voided of any color, a dull blank canvas to seize any type of defiance and fight a person may have.

It was chilling to her how she had ended up in yet another prison, but the difference was there wouldn't be a kind boy to wrap his arms around her and protect her from her nightmares.

Katniss knew she was truly alone now, and the only thing she had to hold onto was hope, strangling hope that could be more harmful than any weapon, or even hate itself.

She had seen in the orphanage and on the street how hope could drive someone mad, the promise of insanity it held was gripping, and Katniss felt herself in its grasp.

Even the clothing she had been changed into didn't hold any sense of identity, with its white material that ran down her body ending at the ankles.

The absence of sleeves didn't help with maintaining her body temperature in the frigid room, her hands leaving her knees to rub up her biceps frantically.

She missed the warm soft fabric of Peeta's flannel, the way it hung from her body reminded her of his broad size and the way it felt when he held her against his strong body, however this only filled her with longing and then eventually grief.

The button up had been forcibly ripped from her body when she had arrived, her arms instinctively covering her bare chest, having Thread guard over her didn't ebb the feeling of dread she was feeling.

He leered at her with dark eyes, which only made the presence of his scar even more noticeable, reminding her of their last encounter, except now there wasn't Peeta there to protect her from his cruelty.

The cotton slacks she had pulled on before venturing downstairs were still on as she watched the other keeper leaving the room, leaving her alone with Thread, the top half of her body still bare and vulnerable.

Katniss could only imagine the horrible moments about to pass, but she was sure of one thing that if he tried to violate, take a piece of her that was only Peeta's, she would fight back with every ounce of strength and will she had left in her body.

It wasn't long after she heard the door shut that she felt the contact of the back of his hand landing against her cheek bone, the force alone sending her body to the floor, her arms left her chest attempting to brace her body for the fall.

However the impact was hard enough to tear a few of her nails, causing one to detach permanently, and a puddle of blood forming.

She didn't have enough time to react to the pain before she felt the weight of Thread above her, turning her over.

A deep blush rose up her body, but the embarrassment of her state of dress was outweighed by her will to fight, with fierce fists she lashed out frantically.

Thread settled down onto her stomach, momentarily taking the breath out of her, as her arms tired from hitting muscle that was stronger than what her petite form could produce.

With what seemed like a frozen moment in time the first fist came down onto her face, making contact with her nose, Katniss could feel the swelling already rising, before the second assault make its presence known to her lip and then a third and forth.

She assumed she had passed out because what felt like a whisper in time, she awoke to Thread being pulled from her body, her slacks still fastened and zipped.

It was apparent he only wanted to pay her back for the wounds she had caused him before, he had no interest in violating her sexually and she prayed for small miracles, because she knew that broken bones could heal but some wounds never would.

There was also a part of her that only wanted Peeta to be the one to know her in such a way and to have a monster like Thread understand was more sickening to her than any beating.

Her eyes had already begun to swell, and Katniss was positive she had a broken nose, she could feel someone pull her up from the ground, all of her energy had been spent on protecting herself from before, not to mention the beating had drained any strength her body had, making her compliant.

She was brought to another room where her wounds had been tended to; it wasn't until then that she realized her chest was still bare from before.

Her petite arms went to her chest, as her pants were pulled from her body causing her to fall to the ground.

The impact made her body ache due to her injuries, the material being yanked from her body by an unnamed assailant dressed in all white, her hair pinned to her head securely.

Katniss sat there shivering and completely naked, as her head was yanked back, a firm hand securing her hair, she prepared herself to feel the sharp end of a knife to her neck but instead it found itself to her hair, and with a swift movement most of her dark hair laid on the white tiled floor beside her.

It wasn't until she felt the hair tickle her fingers that she began to cry, the woman in front of her seemed unaffected by her emotions, as she tugged a white gown down and around her neck, forcing Katniss' arms through, until eventually the dress slipped down pooling around her body.

Katniss didn't have long to sit there until she was escorted down a hall and into the cold cell, her home until her death.

A sound from the other end of the hall grabbed her attention, her neck stretching out to catch a glimpse, but as soon as it started the noise stop.

Katniss assumed she had already begun to hallucinate, she had heard it could happen to those who were imprisoned and there were times in the orphanage when she wasn't sure if the feeling of the boy holding her was dream or reality.

Defeated Katniss lowered her head onto her knees, the material of the gown coarse against her bruised forehead.

The wounds on her face were throbbing as they begun to heal, and Katniss wished that the pain would subside of only for a second.

The bruising over the bridge of her nose stung as it connected with the lacerations beneath her eyes, she begun to shake as the memory of the beating cleared.

She assumed she had been unconscious for most of it, but there were still flashes of the situation that were beginning to filter through.

Katniss wanted to weep, but she decided against it remembering how the salt of her tears had stung the deep cuts on her face, but more than anything she longed for Peeta to hold her body to his to feel the warmth of his skin and his toned muscles as he kept her safe.

The sound of footsteps alerted her to someone's presence, she assumed it was Thread coming back to finish what he had been interrupted from completing, Katniss rose her head up from her legs to stare into the deep green eyes of Lord Darius.

His suit was cleanly pressed as usual, a pleasant blue color that set off the auburn of his hair, his shoulders were straight, his posture as pristine as normal, but his eyes held worry, not the normal mirth she was used to witnessing.

He stood there watching her huddled in the corner like a frightened animal or child, her fractured nails resting against the skin of her ankles. It wasn't until the glass separating them disappeared that Darius began to speak.

"It's troubling to see such a beautiful creature in such a dreary place."

Katniss smirked her head leaning to the side," Dreary? I would have chosen crippling," she stood up on shaky legs using the cold stones of the wall as leverage," How were you able to see me?"

The muscles at his jaw clinched as he watched her walk towards him shakily," I do have some influence," his eyes moved to the side and then back to her," but unfortunately not enough to free you."

Katniss shook her head," I would have never asked you to."

Darius looked back to her as she approached him, her battered body fighting to keep upright. His slender fingers reached for her, catching in her splintered strands.

Her voice was thick and low," Apparently they think that executing me would be easier if my hair was shorter," she tilted her head as his fingers touched the severed ends," but in all honesty I think they did it because they could."

He nods before drawing his hand away, as Katniss searches his face," I'm so sorry that deceived you, it wasn't right to pull you into all of this," she swallowed hard," I should have told you my involvement with Peeta."

The auburn haired man reached out touching her battered face softly before withdrawing his hand," Perhaps it wasn't my secret to know," but I do wish you could have confided in me."

Katniss breathed in deep, her bruised ribs reminding her of her wounds," Part of me wishes I could have loved you, and maybe this wouldn't be happening."

He shook his head," No you don't Katniss, but thank you for saying that."

Katniss nodded, the tears collecting in her eyes threatening to sting her cuts," Do you know they're planning on killing me?"

Darius shook his head while adverting his eyes," No, I don't but from the whispers I'm hearing it's going to be soon and public," he exhaled slow," the government wants to make an example of you and Companion Mellark."

This catches her attention, her eyes more desperate than before," Do you know what they plan to do to him?"

Darius looked at her with pain," No, I don't," he pursed his lips before speaking again," I'm sorry."

Katniss gently moved the hair from her face careful not to touch her deep bruises and cuts," Can you do something for me?"

He lifted his brow," What?"

Her eyes fell before meeting his again," I need you to watch out for Peeta. I know it's a lot to ask and I have no right-"

Darius cut her off his hand gently against her busted lower lip," I swear to it, I will."

Katniss murmured thanks against his hand, as she watched him lean into her, kissing her softly careful not to fully injure her fragile lips.

The feel of his lips were warm, noticeable different than Peeta's, as they kept their mouths closed and chaste but Katniss could still taste the salt from his tears as they joined.

He pulled back and it was over as quick as it had begun, he kissed her cheek before gently brushing the back of his fingers to her bruised face.

Darius swallowed hard before backing up, the glass wall taking its place once again," Goodbye, beautiful Katniss."

She nodded her farewell to him, before watching him make his exit, as once again she was alone. Hope once more formed around her threatening to swallow her whole, as she imagined her hero slaying the dragon and rescuing her. Katniss was more than aware of how foolish she was, but the truth was in here all she had were fantasies.

* * *

_A/N: There are only two more chapters left in this story. I'm wanting to finish it soon so I can move on to my other stories so expect to see updates very soon. **Please Review!**_


	12. Chapter 12

_To everyone who has continued to follow, review, and read this story, thank you! You guys rock!_

___Thank you to SheepAmongstWolves12 for Beta-ing for me_ once again. Love ya little nerd sis.  


Chapter Twelve

The deep purple of the plush carpet absorbed the artificial light streaming from above his head. It seemed to span the entire floor, wave upon wave of rich color that muted the walls around it.

He was lost in the color, a sense of drowning came over him and he had to remind himself that he was breathing safely on his own.

With a shaky hand he worked his fingers through his hair; the anxiety he felt ever since she had been taken was threatening to overwhelm him.

Peeta repositioned himself on the overstuffed seat he was appointed to wait on upon his arrival. The feeling of unrest was begging to cloud any judgment he had left, his emotions were on the edge of exploding as they clawed at the walls of his mind.

After he had awoken on the floor of the foyer, it had taken a few minutes for the previous events to inch their way back into his memory; the forefront of his mind had been foggy at first.

Utter panic had taken over as the previous events registered, he frantically pulled himself off of the floor, and the rational part of his brain had shut down, where now only an intense primal need was present.

He tore through the first floor of the manor knocking down anything that wasn't nailed or secured, glass, splintered wood, and chipped china laid to waste on the once pristine floor.

Peeta stood in the middle of his destruction, his chest heaving uncontrollable as the rage coursed through his veins igniting the flow of blood into pure heat.

He was almost feral as he searched for anything else to destroy, his glazed eyes landed on the polished wood of the table that he had grown accustomed to taking his meals at, meals he had shared with Katniss.

Peeta stalked over to the table his bare feet wading through glass and porcelain that scraped and cut the flesh at the sides and bottom of his feet.

He appeared unaffected by the wounds, his bare chest and back had too acquired such inflictions, small trials of blood made their way into the waist line of his slacks.

Peeta's hands gripped the edge of the table as he took pause, his breath escaping from his throat in short , shallow gusts.

For a moment Haymitch assumed that he had exerted himself, clearly relieved for it to be momentarily over, until the muscles in Peeta's back strained as the he flipped the dining room table on its side.

The piece of furniture joined the rest of the havoc that was now a part of his madness, its legs sticking out to the sides as the middle split sending the separate halves onto the floor with an angry clatter.

Hazelle kept in the corner, her hands covering her mouth as she attempted in vain to cease the tears making their way down her face and onto the neck line of her dress.

Haymitch too had hung back, only observing, until he saw an ebb in Peeta's tirade his shoulders hunching over, the grief of her loss pushing down onto him.

Peeta began to shake, before he felt arms circling him, squeezing to gain control, the younger man struggled, as his rage swallowed up any trace of rational thought left.

Glass lodged itself into his feet as he bore down, using his weight to escape the tight hold the older man had on him.

Haymitch leaned his head back as he attempted to protect his face from any injury while the back of Peeta's head thrashed back and forth.

Hazelle watched as the two men fought for control, eventually Peeta conceded, his movements now lazy with all of his energy drained.

Haymitch held onto him like a father would as uncontrollable sobs took over his body, anguish rolling off of him in tumultuous waves.

The older man kept his grip tight, as he lowered their bodies onto the debris underneath them," I know, kid," Haymitch sucked in a long shaky breath," I know it hurts, and all you're feeling is the grief but you need to push through it," Peeta began to struggle against him again, his breathing coming out ragged," breath Peeta, just breath son."

Peeta struggled against Haymitch's hold," I'm not your son," Peeta attempted to shove his shoulder into Haymitch's as he tried to gain control," You aren't my family."

Haymitch tried to calm his emotions at the blatant attack," Maybe not, but me and this woman here," Haymitch sharply nodded to where Hazelle waited, her face streaked in tears," are the only people in this house who give a damn about you and that girl," Haymitch took in a deep breath," and to be honest you're the closest thing to a son I have, so like it or not but you're stuck with me."

Peeta struggled, this time Haymitch released his hold," I have to go get her back," Peeta pushed himself off of the ground taking small shards of glass with him," I can't be here without her."

Haymitch's legs shook as he stood up trying to miss the thick pieces of glass around him," Kid, the Capitol has her now. How are you going to get her back?"

Peeta pulled pieces of glass from his hands, before pushing the sweating strands of his bangs from his forehead," I'll go straight to the source," he breathed in slowly before turning to make his way to the stairs," The president will see me, he can be a reasonable man."

Haymitch followed him out of the demolished room," Are you damn mad?! You must be if you think that evil man will give a damn about her or even you!"

Peeta gripped the railing," I have to; it's the only thing I can do now."

Haymitch pointed at him, his eyes glossy from tears," If you do this you will be damning her, and the rest of us."

Peeta gritted his teeth," I have to."

"So you'll go begging to him like an animal desperate for scraps?"

The younger man turned to him slowly, before speaking," I will do anything to get her back."

Haymitch shook his head," That's what I'm afraid of."

Peeta nodded his agreement to the older man before he ran up the stairs to bathe quickly and change, the wounds he sustained from his outburst stung from the sweat seeping into the cuts, salt and blood mixing.

Without much time passed, Peeta bounded down the stairs, with a fresh outfit of clothing on, his hands now bandaged but sore.

He glanced to the side to see Hazelle sweeping up the mess, her head down casted, as she concentrated on her task.

The pain Peeta felt towards disappointing her was almost too much to take but his need to bring Katniss back outweighed anything else he could fathom.

He assumed Haymitch had left, while he was upstairs showering, the older man's bellowing echoed up the stairs, and then the banging of the back door had informed Peeta of his exit.

Haymitch's complains weren't unsubstantiated but his opinion wasn't one Peeta wanted to share at the moment.

The train ride into the Capitol dragged on, but the wait to see the president was even more daunting as the young man was subjected to back ground check after back ground check.

He had overheard a few of the Peacekeepers talking of how the rebel forces were making it more difficult for them daily, this peeked his attention for a few seconds before his mind went back to the task at hand… to bring Katniss back.

He was eventually led to the windowless room with the far reaching sea of carpet, where he now attempted to wait patiently.

His legs had long ago, lost feeling, but his ever present anxieties had taken the place of any concern he would have had for the irritable pain.

Peeta's pulse quickened as a door he hadn't yet noticed, open on the opposite end from where he had originally entered.

His back straightened , when the slender man bathed in a dye of blue came into view, his hair colored in the same shade.

Peeta had become accustomed to the Capitol's obsession with altering their natural state, but even so the man's appearance took him back. When he finally recovered Peeta followed the attendant as he waved him on.

His voice sharp and an octave higher than what should be expected of a man," The honorable president has agreed to see you and hear your grievance," Peeta rose from his seat his palms gliding against the material of his pants," Come along, President Snow doesn't have patience for tardiness."

Peeta crossed the room with a determined pace, to where the attendant stood, the ostentatious man's foot tapping impatiently.

The light filtering into the room from the other side of the opened door, over took the artificial light with blinding dominance.

Peeta attempted not to squint against the harshness of the light, he needed his charm to show through, the side of him that could deal with any matter unfazed.

If for only the next few minutes he needed to present the façade that he was still the man he had been before Katniss came back into his life.

Before she had lifted the blinders, and helped him cast aside any misconceptions he had of the Capitol and the shell of himself that had been created from years of pain.

When Peeta reached the threshold, the slender man turned on his heel with a gust of breath, clearly already annoyed with the companion's presence.

Peeta merely squared his shoulders, determined to give off and air of confidence as he stepped into the light fully.

The warmth flooding his face was surprising, as his body was engulfed with sunlight.

He followed the attendant puzzled; Peeta had remembered the sky being clouded before he stepped into the building, the sudden appearance of the bright light knocked him slightly off balanced.

Careful to protect his sight, Peeta placed his hand over his brow, shielding his eyes before he peered up towards the sky.

Metallic sheeted metal blended into luminous sky that reflected off of the surface, creating the effect of two separate skies.

However, if that wasn't memorizing enough, the sphere seemingly floating where rafters should be was aglow, a myriad of color in orange, red, and yellow licked at the space around it.

Peeta kept his face tipped up toward the artificial sky, all the while his feet followed the sound of footsteps created by the slender man escorting him.

Wonderment had overtaken him; it wasn't until he hit a force strong enough to cause him to falter a few steps back that Peeta took the time to look forward.

A wall of foliage with white roses springing forth stood in front of him, the massive structure stood at least ten feet tall from the ground.

Peeta shook his mind free from its trance, he was thankful for the structure; the jolt had brought him back to reality and the reason why he had ventured here originally… to free Katniss.

Peeta peered around the corner of the wall of plant life to only find another wall, favoring the one beside him.

The attendant had long walked off, leaving Peeta in the process. So he took the advantage of taking in his surroundings, as a winding maze of roses and foliage came into view.

The realization hit Peeta; the president had fashioned himself an oasis of Eden within the secure walls of his confine.

Peeta sighed; convinced he had caused himself to become lost, until he spotted the slicked back coif of the pretentious man who was sent to lead him in.

The man tapped his toe feverishly, his arms folded over his narrow chest," Well, are you coming, or would you rather behave as an insolent child?"

Peeta nodded silently, motioning for the man to lead on through the maze of a garden.

The sniveling man narrowed his eyes at Peeta before turning on his heel and continuing on. Peeta was sure to keep his eyes trained on the man's back, his perseverance from before was back in full force.

Glances of color still made it into his peripheral vision; he could feel the temptation to take in the rare sights that only the president's personal garden held.

However, Peeta was far too acquainted with the tainted beauty of the Capitol and the secret snares it held, unlike the passion he had for Katniss that was the purest emotion he knew.

Peeta flooded his mind with memories of her, the way her nose perked up at the end, the deep curve of her hip, how it transitioned into the soft supple shape of her breasts.

He filled himself with images of her, using her as his anchor, to remind him of his purpose, and his sole reason for breathing.

Peeta was led through the garden with twists and turns, there were times that he could have sworn that they had already ventured through one particular passageway.

He had inquired this much to man before him, but had only yearned yet another puff of infuriated breath, before silence settled between them again.

He was growing tired of the charade, his patience lessening, as the possibility of this being a farce came into his mind.

Perhaps, the only purpose for their walk through the maze was to force Peeta into conceding, any lesser man would by now, but Peeta had determination keeping him on his path, and nothing would cause it to wan.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the attendant turned back to Peeta waving him forward, his eyes moving to bench a few yards off where an elderly man with wide set shoulder sat, a soft white bud perched between his pointer and middle finger.

The slender man displayed his propriety, a slight slanting of his shoulders, meaning respect and a curt nod before he turned on his heel, leaving Peeta alone with the man as he admired the flower in his grasp.

Peeta took in a deep breath, his hands curling into nervous fists, before flexing his fingers, willing himself to relax as he stepped forward.

He was aware to stop a few feet from the older man, and then bowed to show his respect, before he waited to be invited to sit or speak.

The white haired man stared indifferently at Peeta, his eyes sizing up the younger man, before a softer expression came over his sharp features as he studied the flower between his fingers.

The man tilted his head to the side, his attention still on the closed rose bud as he spoke, "Do you know why some thrive while others fail, Companion Mellark?"

Peeta was first caught off guard by the question but recovered quickly," No."

Snow exhaled a long breath," Survival. Although it's not enough to merely survive, to achieve ultimate prosperity we must rid ourselves of weakness," Peeta watched as his hand curled into the bud destroying it immediately, the petals falling to the ground as his hand unfolded," and in return dismiss anything that is less than perfection."

Peeta swallowed hard, " It's quite remarkable what you have done here, sir."

Snow stood up, brushing the remaining petals from his palm before walking over to a wall of blooming white roses," Mr. Mellark there's no need for you to be so formal with me," the older man looked over to Peeta sharply before turning back to his flowers," you and I have a special past. I would assume we could look past formalities."

Peeta nodded before walking towards the president with caution," The matter to which I've visited has to do with an employee of mine, a young girl," Peeta took in a breath before continuing as he stopped a few inches from where the president stood," She was taken from my residence under false allegations. I was hoping in your great wisdom, that you would grant her amnesty."

Snow rose a brow," Oh? And what was her crime," the older man looked over to Peeta then back to the rose he was fondling," I'm of course not going to be hasty and grant freedom to every criminal who has connections."

Peeta's fingers curled into his palms before he spoke," Soliciting, sir."

Snow turned his body toward Peeta's ," Soliciting? To whom was she soliciting," the president blindly snatched a flower from the garden maze, rolling the blossomed bud between his fingers," if I may ask?"

The younger man swallowed, his throat already raw," To me, sir."

Snow feigned shock," Is that so? Well I'm sorry to say this Companion Mellark, but I can't allow such crimes to go unpunished."

Peeta felt his heart stop," Please sir, I'm begging of you. She's only a young woman, without any common decency or self worth. I'm afraid I seduced her, and with your permission I want to offer myself to be punished in her place."

President Snow narrowed his eyes," No self worth, hmm? I doubt that Companion Mellark. Do not forget that you and I have known each other for a spell, and I know that you would never throw yourself onto my mercy for a woman who meant nothing to you."

Peeta shook his head," She means nothing to me sir."

Snow breathed in deeply before replying," Let's stop these games, Companion Mellark. I grow tired of them, and my patience is thinning from your desperation," he threw the flower to the ground before speaking," I have been quite aware of the power that girl has over you. I only granted the permission for her to be under your employment for a short time, hoping the connection had faded over the years. To be honest you two were only children, and we both know how fickle children can be. However, I underestimated the obsession you formed for her, and it is now that I know my decision to allow you to have a short time with her was correct."

Peeta felt sick as bile rose up his throat," You were planning on executing her all along, weren't you?"

Snow nodded, his face calm," Indeed I was," he turned back to his wall of rises," there's no need to thank me for allowing you to have time with her, I'll assume it's implied."

Peeta could feel his palms curl into themselves," Thank you? You're about to sentence a woman to death, and you believe I should be grateful?"

Snow shook his head," No, Mr. Mellark. I believe you're the one that sealed her fate when you became involved with her. If there's someone to blame, it's you. And do not push the limits of my charity. I'm still allowing you to carry on with your life," Snow turned back toward Peeta, his face flushed," Did you really think that I wouldn't know what you were up to or that I would allow such things to happen? I control what happens in my country. I am the authority on all things, even your delusional sense of loyalty, Mr. Mellark."

Peeta took a step back, his knees nearly giving out underneath him, the sickly sweet aroma of the rose garden threatened to choke him.

The ground had shattered beneath him, and he could feel the abyss of grief beginning to swallow him whole.

Snow stepped forward, closing the gap between their bodies as a dazed Peeta tried to gain control of his shaking body, the faint smell of blood wafted from the elderly man.

Peeta could feel his gag reflex kick in, as a realization occurred, he knew now that he was in the dragon's grasp, his teeth bared and relentlessly dripping with blood of the naïve.

He should have listened to Haymitch, and not have been so foolish to believe that he was in control of his own life, he was merely a pawn in Snow's plan.

Snow leaned in, as the muscles in Peeta's jaw clenched," I own you boy; I would have thought you were clever enough have already came to the realization."

The light around him dimmed, as President Snow pulled away, making his way back to his rose garden. He had been a foolish boy who still believed in loyalty and integrity, when in truth they only existed in fairy tales.

* * *

The paint flecked off of the wall, gathering beneath her nail, as she scratched the lines into it.

She gritted her teeth as another nail broke under the pressure, blood slowly oozed out down her knuckle to pool at her wrist where it too, like the rest, would eventually dry forming to her skin.

The pain had lessened to an irritating pressure after three hours of digging into the unrelenting concrete, now only the joint in her wrist ached as it swelled.

Her lines weren't as precise or graceful as his had been even as a child, she assumed the pain in her hand could be a factor, but it was more likely she lacked his natural skill for creating things that only existed in make believe.

After Darius had left her alone and huddled in the corner of her cell, Katniss head had leaned back into the cold stone behind her, the air had grown colder without another presence.

The room was voided of any sound outside of her ragged breathing, and the searing grief of loneliness that tore at her insides.

Memories she had buried back in her mind were occurring to her all at once, as she was powerless to stop them.

The way her arms would wrap around her body as she fought the chill of the cement room off, her frail form curling into itself.

Katniss looked over to the empty space on her left where the sight of a young girl with dark hair materialized.

Her petite body colliding with the walls as she took running starts, the impact and momentum sending her back to the ground. She was desperate to feel something other than the furious fists of the house mothers, or strangling hold of hunger.

At least when she hurled herself into the wall it was her own doing, the bruises and scrapes were products of her free will, she had controlled the situation.

Katniss shuddered, a chill working up her body, but this one was far more reaching than what the temperature could have accomplished.

She could feel her mind wandering, and the familiar fog of madness due to isolation was coming over her.

Katniss shook her head violently, the sheared dark tresses of her hair moving wildly through the air, she refused to be taken over again.

She shut her eyes tight, the force making the muscles in her face sting as she willed her mind to pull recent memories forward.

She exhaled loudly, her lids relaxing as an image of serene blue irises came to the forefront of her mind. It was only a matter of seconds before other images began to spill forth like water out of a spout, every one clearer than the former.

The form of his lips, how with little execution he could elicit guttural moans of content, a deep sigh escaped her lips at the memory.

Her mind flooded with his presence, the outlining of his strong jaw, his broad shoulders and chest that kept her warm and safe.

Peeta was the anchor that refused to let her float into oblivion; he was her calm in the storm.

When she finally opened her eyes, the girl with the tangles locks had disappeared, Katniss' eyes fell upon the bare walls across from her.

Turning her head slowly to the right, she recognized the same cement walls, she reached out her fingers tracing over the subtle bumps and grooves in the texture.

It had surprised her at first when muted paint peeled off enough to show her the stone underneath. Her movements were slow and deliberate before they turned frenzied and wild; her nails etching lines and designs into the wall.

She was shocked when the image of fairy appeared before her, and another one had followed, a memory she had kept with her for so long was once again being created in front of her.

This time it was by her shaky untrained hand that clung to the security and love she had felt when the piece of work had first been created by his skilled hand.

Peeta wasn't only the man she loved he was a part of her that stood for something simple, the notion that great strength and beauty could appear in the most dire of situations.

The echoing of footsteps alerted her to company, Katniss stopped her finger in midair, her palm laying flat onto the lines, the grooves scratched and pressed into her skin comfortably.

She had been dreading the sight of another person; it was easier to come to terms with her fate if she realized early on that she was alone.

Having others near, even the peacekeepers who kept guard down the hall, represented life, something she wouldn't be a part of soon.

Katniss kept her eyes on the wall, the image of her scratches burning into her memory, before she turned her head to where the footsteps had stopped.

A stabbing sensation came over her when she was met with his face, soft fair skin peppered with slight stubble at the jaw line, while dirty blonde bangs fell in front of eyes as blue as the sky after a rain storm.

This was how she wanted to remember him for her short time in this life, it would be the image she would have as her body dropped from the platform, the noose tightening around her throat.

She hoped that her neck would break before the rush of panic hit her as her lungs stung from the lack of intake of air. She laughed to herself, it felt hallow as it filled the room around her, this was her existence now.

Her last hours would be filled with assumptions of her death, and hallucinations of the things she would be leaving behind.

Katniss watched him closely as he did the same," I've been told that when one's death nears it can slowly chip away at their sanity," she shrugged," I suppose that makes sense since if you really understood the weight of the situation, the terror alone could stop your heart. Insanity is the only way to die with dignity," Katniss marveled at how accurate her image of him could be," Even if you are a hallucination, it's nice to have you here."

Peeta watched her shoulders slump, her body broken and bruised, the white gown they had dressed her in hung off of her form, and Peeta could see where her bare arms and lips had begun to turn paler due to the drop in temperature.

Her delicate hand pressed against the wall beside her, dried blood sat at her wrist, this alarmed him enough to take his focus from the pictures on the wall.

However it didn't take long for his eyes to focus, he had to bite back the tears when he recognized the figures.

She had attempted to recreate the mural from the orphanage, the one he had made her to keep her happy when they were children.

Emotion overwhelmed him and Peeta was positive which one he was feeling more, grief, sorrow, pain, hatred, or love.

He looked back to her when he heard a shuffling of feet, she had begun to crawl on her hands and knees, her face contorted in fear and curiosity, and much like a wild animal would do.

The train of fabric of her gown followed behind her, threatening to tangle around her bare feet. Her normally long hair had been cut haphazardly, to fall at her shoulders, the ends curling around her face.

She rose up slowly, her balance shaky; it was then that he noticed the full extent of her bruising that spanned throughout her face, marring her natural beauty.

Peeta shook his head," No, honey I'm not a hallucination. I'm real…it's me."

Katniss breathed out a reply, her voice raw from being unused," Peeta?"

"Yes."

She lets out something resembling a sob and a gasp as she launched her body to the glass partition separating them.

Her nails claw at the clear material, her eyes wide, wild and wounded, while Peeta placed his palms flat against the surface.

He angled his head to the side attempted to gain her attention, perhaps if she concentrated on him than he could help settle her frenzy.

It took for a few seconds for Katniss' movements to calm, her eyes set on him, her chest beginning to raise and fall naturally.

Her hands rested against his, and even through the glass barrier, Peeta could feel the heat radiating from her, the way her touches had always affected him.

Because even in her broken state of mind she was still able to make him feel alive and human.

Peeta broke their connection long enough to yell down the corridor, impatiently asking for the glass to be taken down momentarily.

He wasn't positive if his request would be met or not but he hoped that the peacekeeper who granted him access would find his generosity once again.

Peeta was answered when the glass wall slowly slid down, his hands connecting with Katniss' without hesitation.

The feel of her skin was enough to knock him down, a warmth traveling up his arms to rest at his chest.

He uncurled his fingers from hers, his right hand going to her cheek gingerly, careful not to apply pressure to the bruise and deep cut there.

The surface of her once smooth skin, a texture he remembers vividly from hours of exploring her, was now torn with unclean edges and swelled bruising that yellowed her olive skin.

Katniss leaned her head into his touch, reveling in the warmth that radiated from his palm, temporarily filling her with calm.

A trail of heat made its way up her wounded cheek stopping in her hairline above her ear, his fingers tickling the curve of skin.

Peeta was careful to be gentle as he untangled the strands, weaving the knots out with one hand while the other held onto hers.

He worked the tips of his fingers down halfway, while lifting the hair to the side to examine the damage that had been done.

Katniss closed her eyes, as she lost herself in the sensation of his caress. Peeta slid his fingers to the ends, curling his hand in the jagged strands, before releasing her hair, allowing it to fall back to her bruised shoulders.

Peeta tried to swallow the lump forming at the base of his throat," Why did they do this to you?"

Katniss opened her eyes slowly, a sad smile gracing her lips," Because they can."

Peeta shook his head wildly, while his fingers pressed into the back of her hand," No, they did this because of me."

It was Katniss turn to touch his face, her battered hand resting at his cheek," I don't want you blaming yourself for any of this," her lips widened, the smile reaching her eyes," When I first saw you, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me," her hand moved up his cheek into the bangs that hung around his face," because you look the way you would if you were back in the district. You look like _my Peeta_."

Peeta turned his face to the side to lightly kiss the inside of her wrist, his lips resting there as he spoke into her skin," I am your Peeta. Every part of me belongs to you," he turned his face back to hers," and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

Katniss' eyes moved to where her hand worked through his hair, and over the contours of his face," You're here with me now, that's all that matters."

Peeta closed his eyes lost in the feel of her touch," You saved me that day on the street, when we found each other again," he opened his eyes to find her staring at him dead on," I was lost in the dark, and you pulled me back to the light," he reached up to where her hand had stopped at his jaw line, his fingers wrapping around hers to bring it to his chest," You're the real hero the fairy tales write about."

Katniss shook her head, her fingers balling up the material of his shirt," No, I'm not. Because you saved me too."

Peeta lowered his head before looking into her eyes again ashamed," No, I didn't. I went to Snow begging for your release, like a fool. He refused with much delight."

"Do you realize how brave you were to go to him? I don't think you notice how special you are, or how much potential you have to be something really great."

"You have so much faith in me but all I tend to do is fail you," Peeta stepped back out of her reach, their hands separating," I failed you at the orphanage, when I didn't defend you at the Capitol, when I promised you we'd be together as a real family," he began to pace the floor in front of her cell," and I'm failing you now."

Katniss pulled her arms around her, grieving the loss of his touch," I want you to move on. Find a woman to marry and have the family you've always wanted," this caused him to stop in mid step, his body now facing hers, his brow furrowed," I'm going to die, Peeta. There's no reason that you shouldn't carry on with your life."

Peeta could feel the heat rising from his chest to settle at his flushed cheeks," No, absolutely not! I won't accept that!"

Katniss felt the tears she had been trying to fight slid down her face, the salt burning the cuts there," I love you, Peeta Mellark. I have always loved you, ever since that first night when you looked into the window at me. All blonde shaggy hair and gangly limbs that flooded my mind and spirit. You never left me, I held onto you when I couldn't even remember your name. I love you, and I love that we were able to fight dragons together."

Peeta storms up to the wall separating them from the waist down," If you love me than how can you ask something like that of me?!"

"It's because I love you! I don't want you wasting away in that house, drowning yourself in the past and pain. I can't leave you when I know you'll be living with the ghost of me. I need to know that you'll be happy."

Peeta buried his hands in his hair, needing something he could hold onto and at the same time punish," How I can be happy if you're gone?"

Katniss swallowed the tears threatening to choke her," I am going to die Peeta. There's nothing we can do about it, whether you accept it or not…it's happening."

Peeta removed his hands from his hair to place them at the sides of her face," If you die, you'll be taking me with you. It won't just be another piece of me that I lose; it'll be all of me. There won't be anything left."

Katniss shook her head," That's not true, and you'll be-"

The sudden pressure of his lips on hers, made her already dizzy mind, almost incapable of thinking accurately.

The bruises around her lips stung from the contact, but the sensation of his tongue asking for permission dulled any pain, all she could feel was excitement.

Closing her eyes she allowed herself to be lost in him for the last time, every muscle in her body relaxed, and she wished that the wall wasn't there preventing Peeta from enveloping her body with his.

A low moan escaped her throat, and she assumed she had been holding it deep in her soul on account of the amount of heat that made its way through her body.

Katniss could feel herself drowning in his quiet noises, and the presence of his lips and hands against her.

She was close to losing her mind all together, the insanity of bliss swallowing her whole when she felt the warmth of his tongue leave her mouth as well as the absence of his hands from her face.

Katniss' eyes sprung open as Peeta's cries echoed around her in mocking torment.

A peacekeeper at each side of him pulled him further down the corridor, his heels dragging as he tried desperately to dig into the ground using his weight to anchor him down, all the while his eyes still on her.

The pain he wore in his blue iris' cut through her, causing all of the pain from her ailments to wash over her.

Katniss could still hear him shouting out her name, followed by sentiments of love, when his body was out of sight. She crumpled to the ground in a heap of white material and shattered spirit, as the glass partition rose back in place. This was her grave, even before her body was to be broken; her soul had already been laid to rest, when Peeta was taken from her.

* * *

_A/N: There is only one chapter left until the story is complete, and I'm half way through with it. I'm actually very sad to see this story end, but I expect to begin two more stories when this one is through. **PLEASE** REVIEW!_


	13. Chapter 13

_This sadly is the finale of "The Companion". I want to thank everyone who has taken an interest in this story by, reviewing, following, or placing it in their favorites. _

_Also, I want to thank the awesome fangirl over at everlarkrecs for adding this story to her masterlist there. It means so much to me that you've taken an interest in this story, as well have introduced it to fellow Everlarks. Thanks, sweetie!_

_Thank you to Wildharp for Beta-ing, and a special shout out to SheepAmongstWolves12 for her incredible commentary._

**Notice: There are Violent Situations and Language in this chapter. Please Be A Responsible Reader._  
_**

Chapter Thirteen

The sun had fallen by the time he made his way back to the manor, a collision of purple, orange, blue, and pink painted the sky.

Usually this would have taken his breath away, but in this moment he was numb to everything but the overpowering grief and anger that flowed through him.

His legs dragged through the damp field that led to the manor, the same field he had walked her through when she had first come to stay with him.

He remembered the pure expression of awe she wore when laying eyes on the forest for the first time.

Until then he had assumed she was guarded and broken like he had been, but it was in that second of time and space that he realized she possessed more courage and grace than most he knew.

It was that grace that had won him over, both as a boy and a man.

Peeta reached up, massaging his sore throat with a soft hand until some of the tightness wore off.

He had cried out for her till his lungs bled, lying on the ground as a Peacekeeper attempted to use violence to quiet him.

Peeta was aware of how weak he seemed to the other men, as he wallowed on the floor, beaten and bloodied as his cries echoed off the stone walls of the hall.

His side ached from the repeated boot kicks to his ribs, there was even a second when he debated if a rib had been cracked, however his concern wasn't for his well being but for the girl beyond the barrier of the sleek glass door.

He had felt true despair gripping onto him, Peeta had assumed he was familiar with such a feeling, but this was the first time in his life that he knew what actual loss was.

It wasn't long until the guards grew tired of him, their knuckles red and soar from assaulting him, each one of his arms was taken dragging him down the hall, Peeta kicked and yelled out, but the Peacekeepers kept a tight hold on him even with all his refusal.

In his bought of blind desperation, Peeta had a second of clarity as he turned his head to the side where the stone walls had blended into glass that bounced his reflection to him.

His hair was now pressed to his face, the mixture of sweat and blood plastering it there, the blonde strands only caused the swelling welts on his cheeks to be more noticeable.

Peeta took in a sharp breath at his appearance, broken and hollow as his legs dragged the ground, this was what being lost was.

His shoulders slumped as the guards pulled him forward, taking him to the waiting train.

Peeta hardly remembered the trip back to the district, scenery passing by like a dream, his reality was now a world he felt separated from, where all that waited for him were painful memories, that would taunt him effortlessly.

When the train finally stopped, he sat there motionless staring out into the empty space, it had taken three attendants to gain his attention, before escorting him from the mode of transportation.

He could hear their short sighted remarks regarding his appearance, utterly baffled how a young man who seemed to have a grasp of propriety and class would lower himself to the level of a criminal.

Peeta could only imagine how the bruises on his face appeared, he could feel the swelling subsiding but that didn't cause the pain to lessen.

He had begun to walk in the opposite direction of the manor when he noticed that the buildings were more similar to those of the merchant quarter than the ones that were sparsely present on the dirt road leading up to his home.

The remarks by the town's people that were meant to be whispers but instead echoed through the streets, troubled him.

_Oh my, what on earth happened to his face?_

_I heard he was having an affair with a lady of standing in the Capitol. _

_Really? Because I would have assumed it was that mess of a girl he brought to the district a few weeks ago. _

_He always was trouble._

It was true that he had always been something of an outcast to the people living in town, but this was the first time he felt separated.

He hadn't noticed how close he was to the manor until his sight fixated on the familiar man standing at the end of the steps.

The sun had finally fallen, causing Peeta's sight to be impaired by the lack of light, but he could still make out Haymitch's face by the porch light.

His pace slowed, ashamed of facing the man who had turned out to be correct in his assumptions.

Peeta had failed at releasing Katniss, something Haymitch told him he would do.

He could only imagine the older man's reaction when he saw the condition his face was in, all battered and bloodied.

Peeta had debated turning towards the woods, it wouldn't be difficult to slip into the dark.

He preferred to grieve about his failure in private, besides the forest made him feel closer to her, and it would be a chance to be with her if only in spirit.

Peeta stepped back a few inches to turn around, when he heard a high pitch whistle, signaling to him that Haymitch was now aware of his presence.

He took in a deep breath before walking forward, the light source spreading over his face.

Haymitch's eyes focused, before he let out a low whistle," Boy, what the hell happened to you?"

Peeta touched the bruise under his eye lightly," A couple of peacekeepers and I had a disagreement, it's safe for you to assume that I lost."

Haymitch reached up to his jaw scratching the hair growth there," Doesn't surprise me that you came back looking like shit," he looked the younger man up and down, taking in his disheveled appearance," I think you may look even worse than I ever did. So how does it feel to fail the only woman you've ever loved?"

Peeta curled his fingers into his palm forming a fist, he could feel his body tense, and all he wanted to do was cause someone pain.

With a low growl, he swung out wildly forcing his entire body into it, however Haymitch had anticipated the boy's rage, leaning back he easily dodged Peeta's strike.

Peeta stumbled forward the force sending him off balance, Haymitch caught him by the elbow, holding him up before he fell flat on his face.

Haymitch shook his head," Kid, if you want to hit me you'll have to do better than that."

Peeta gritted his teeth before replying," Alright," with more than enough force he pushed his elbow up freeing it from Haymitch's grasp to collide with his mouth," How was that?"

Haymitch stumbled back, his hand going to his mouth, as Peeta righted his footing, his fists still ready.

Haymitch turned to the side spitting out a mouthful of blood," That's better. You at least hit me, but it was still a sucker punch," he rubbed his lips with his thumb before bringing it in front of his face to see blood there," What is it kid, you want to hurt me?"

Peeta bore his nails into his palms, his wrists straining," I want to hurt someone, because all I want to cause now is pain."

Haymitch nodded," Alright then, let's see what you got."

Peeta shook his head," No, I don't think so," he unclenched his fists, running a hand through his soiled hair," besides you aren't the one I want to hurt."

Haymitch shrugged, as he rose a brow," Why not," he stepped into Peeta's personal space, before slapping him lightly across the cheek," Can you only strike a man when he's not suspecting it, like a coward?"

Haymitch slapped him once more this time with a bit more force, Peeta's head snapped to the side where he kept it turned when he ground out his reply," Stop it, Haymitch," Peeta let out a low gasp when the other side of his face was struck, sending his sight back in Haymitch's direction," I said stop!"

Haymitch shook his head before extending his arm to strike the younger man once more," Why don't you stop bitching like a woman and stop me yourself."

Peeta caught his forearm in midair, grasping Haymitch's arm with a firm grip, his blue eyes shining bright in the darkness.

However ,Haymitch was much more skilled and used the same tactic Peeta had forced upon him, as he wrenched his arm free allowing his fist to make contact with Peeta's already battered nose.

Peeta let out a low growl followed by a string of curses as he bent down, his hands rushing the bridge as blood poured freely.

Peeta could feel the rage from before course through him and he lost himself in the power it seemed to fuel.

With a quick swipe he drew his forearm across his face attempting to clear the path of blood before he rushed forward, his shoulders making contact with Haymitch's gut.

The older man let out a large exhale of air, as Peeta's arms circled him, taking the both of them to the damp ground.

Their bodies folded temporarily from the impact, the ground unrelenting before they found their composure.

Peeta was quicker than Haymitch giving him the opportunity to sit on top of the older man, before sending a barrage of fists, striking the man in his face.

Haymitch dodged most of them, but there were still a few punches that were, able to sneak past the older man's defenses and land firmly, although Peeta had a suspicion that Haymitch had allowed that to happen.

To be honest he did little to take on the offensive as the younger man unleashed all of his anger and grief onto him, it poured out of Peeta like running water, and soon tears followed the blood path working its way down his face onto the collar of his shirt.

Peeta could feel his limbs losing their momentum, the pain from his own injuries setting in, his knuckles raw and torn from assaulting the older man beneath him.

However, Haymitch's face looked more well off than Peeta would have assumed from having someone beat him repeatedly.

His fist made contact with the ground beside Haymitch's head, his knuckles crying from the impact, his sight was obstructed by the tears in his eyes, and Haymitch took this time to grab the boy by the shoulders to roll their bodies, until he was hovering above Peeta.

His knees pressed into Peeta's forearms, preventing him from striking him, as he tried to bring the boy back from his insanity of rage.

When Peeta had begun to strike him, he had noticed a look in the younger man's eyes, it was utter despair.

It was an expression he wore for most of his life after he had lost Maysilee, it was then that he decided that if the boy needed someone to shoulder some of the pain then he would be that vessel.

H e would gladly accept all of the damage that Peeta could produce, he owed the boy that much.

Peeta cried out his legs kicking out beneath the older man's weight, as Haymitch slapped him lightly trying to gain his attention," It's good to see you finally have some fight in you," he sighed heavily," but loosing yourself in this rage won't help her. This is the time that I need you sharp and focused if you expect to get her back."

Peeta shook his head, finally conceding to Haymitch," There's no getting her back."

Haymitch scoffed," Well when you were making a trip to _friends_ in the Capitol, I came up with a plan."

This grabbed Peeta's attention," What kind of plan?"

Haymitch grinned, as the closing of the back door echoed through the night, Hazelle's dark hair shinning underneath the artificial light of the porch lamp.

Her hands were perched on her hips before she raised a brow, her voice clearly annoyed," Are you two fools done rolling around like little children? We do not have enough time for your foolishness! I'm wanting my girl back," Hazelle turned to the door before pausing at the doorframe, waving them on," Come now!"

Haymitch chuckled lightly before releasing his weight on Peeta, allowing his body to relax without the pressure on his limbs.

The older man stood up slowly, his head dizzy from the punches he had sustained, when his footing was even he offered a hand to Peeta who still remained on the ground. He took it gratefully, as Haymitch pulled him up in a standing position.

Haymitch patted his back reassuringly, while Peeta brushed at the dried blood and tears that formed on his skin, with Haymitch's hand at his shoulder they made their way up the stairs.

Peeta looked over to him as they walked underneath the light, giving him a better view of the damage he caused to the older man's face.

He was puzzled when the swelling wasn't as severe as he would have assumed, basing his theory on the pain that ripped through his knuckles and up to his wrists.

Minimal streaks of blood had begun to dry on Haymitch's face, although Peeta would have expected more to be present.

"Why don't you look worse," Haymitch stopped their movements as he looked over to Peeta," I hit you a lot, more than a lot, and you look as if you were barely struck."

Haymitch let out a low laugh, and a smile that reached his eyes," Kid, that's because you can't hit worth a shit," he patted him on the shoulder before reaching the door," but we'll work on that…I promise."

The older man reached for the door, opening it wide enough for Peeta to walk through and he motioned for him to walk on through, his hand leaving the younger man's shoulder as he walked over the threshold.

Peeta had to hold back the shiver traveling up his spine, the manor seemed empty without her, it was hollow without her presence and he longed for the warmth that her touch produced.

He entered the foyer, and at first glance even with the minimal lighting he could see that the destruction he had caused from before had already been cleaned and wiped away, as if his break down had never happened.

When he reached the stairs he laid a hand on the railing, before looking up to the second floor, where her bedroom remained untouched, the book he had given to her still placed on the bedside table awaiting her return.

Peeta closed his eyes as memories of her settled beneath him in his bed came flooding back, he could still smell the lavender of her soap, he could hear the sharp intakes of breath she would make while their bodies moved in synch, he could see the way the light reflected off of her dark hair causing her olive skin to glow, he could remember the salty taste of her skin, and most importantly he could still feel the tender way she would push the bangs from his eyes while he told her how amazed he was by her spirit.

His chest restricted as his grief once again threatened to swallow him whole, a sharp whistle from Haymitch temporarily brought him out of his daze, drawing his attention.

He allowed himself once more to look up the stairs before he followed where the sound had originated.

Peeta was pleased to see that the glass had been picked up as well, he could still feel the deep cuts in the bottom of his feet from before, and he was positive that he had already sustained enough injuries for a lifetime.

He reached up pushing his bangs back behind his ears, as he searched the room for Haymitch while he entered.

To say he was taken aback to see the familiar muscular build and golden features of his friend would be an understatement.

His back was to Peeta as he discussed something in secret with Haymitch and someone else who Finnick was blocking his view of.

Hazelle walked up to him from the other room, he assumed she had been in the kitchen, Peeta looked down to her hand where she held an apple.

He nearly flinched when she lifted her hand, the apple released into the air flew across the room, an arm shot into the air clutching it.

Peeta felt his stomach drop, he hoped his assumptions were false, it was one thing for Finnick to see him in such a state, they had become close over their shared pain, but it was an entirely different manner to have the owner of that sort of finesse see him so broken.

Peeta cleared his throat, prepared to reveal the man whose identity was not quite known yet," Finnick," his friend turned to him his green eyes solemn," I want to say it's good see you, but considering the circumstances."

The lines between Finnick's brow increased as he took in Peeta's appearance," You look awful," Peeta let out a short laugh before Finnick continued," I told you it was dangerous, but you wouldn't listen."

"Does he ever listen?"

Peeta closed his eyes, remembering the disappointed tone," Always a pleasure, Gale," he opened his eyes to see the familiar head of dark hair come into view, his build still more slender than Peeta's but he had gained more muscle than Peeta remembered," You do have a knack for kicking a guy when he's down."

Gale stepped out from behind the others, nearing where Peeta and Hazelle stood," You have a smart mouth for a guy who is desperate."

Peeta closed the gap, his shoulders tense," I don't think I'm desperate enough for your help to be needed."

Gale tilted his head to the side, his grey eyes darkening," You look desperate to me, in fact you look like shit."

Peeta slapped the apple from Gale's grasp, invading his personal space," Is that so?"

Gale met his glare," What are you going to do Peeta, fight everyone you can find because you blame them for your mistake?"

Peeta nodded," If I have to, and to be honest I won't lose any sleep over kicking your ass."

The two young men clenched their fists, preparing for an altercation, when Haymitch appeared behind Gale grabbing him by the collar, before pushing him to the closest wall.

"We don't have time for your old bullshit! Put it away and try to act like adults or get the fuck out of this room, now!"

Gale and Peeta looked over to Hazelle who had her arms crossed over her chest," I couldn't have said it any better, Haymitch."

Haymitch gave her a quick nod, Peeta had forgotten how in sync they could be sometimes," Thanks," he cracked his back," We're here because someone we care about is in trouble."

Gale pushed off of the wall, rounding Haymitch to stand directly in front of Peeta again," To be accurate I don't care for, nor know this girl," Peeta stepped forward, but Haymitch's hand was there to still his movements," And the only reason she's in this trouble is because Peeta pulled her into his mess of a life."

Finnick had remained on the sidelines watching, until now," Careful Gale," Gale turned to where Finnick stood by his side, the man's eyes firm," you don't know what conspired between Peeta and Katniss, and I doubt you've ever felt the need to be near someone, to love and protect them. I've seen Peeta with her briefly, and even then I could see it was different than a fling."

Gale glared at Finnick," Thanks, Finn. I had no idea you were such a romantic, and not everyone is as loyal to each other as you and Annie are."

Peeta raised an eyebrow," How do you two even know each other," it had suddenly clicked for him," you're all a part of the rebellion."

Gale let out an aggravated sigh," And speaking of, do you think it's wise that we waste our resources and intelligence on freeing Peeta's girlfriend?"

Haymitch squared his shoulders," Luckily it's not up to you," he set his eyes on Gale," Is it boy?"

Gale ducked his head out of respect but Peeta could see his fists flex," No, sir."

Haymitch cleared his throat," We need to formulate and precise plan, because we have only one chance at this."

Gale turned to Peeta his eyes mocking," We could be like Peeta and beg for Snow's permission."

Peeta gritted his teeth," Fuck you , Gale."

Gale narrowed his eyes," What? No longer the Capitol's golden boy?"

Peeta began to rush forward, but Haymitch was there to push him back," Enough, damn it!"

Finnick stepped further towards the group," Haymitch is right. If this is going to work we all need to have each other's back. Everyone has a part to play."

Haymitch nodded his thanks," At least one of you isn't a damn fool," he cleared his throat," First thing is we need to figure out who's to go in and get the girl," Peeta began to open his mouth when Haymitch held his hand up for his silence," Not you boy, you already raised enough hell the last time you were there. Remember you have the bruises and bloodied face to prove it, not mention you're the first person they would suspect. And not you Finn, we still need you on the inside, I can't risk you're cover being blown, and I wouldn't want Annie's safety further compromised because I made a shit decision."

Gale shook his head," I can only guess whose job it is."

Haymitch patted him on the shoulder," Maybe you're smarter than you look."

Gale narrowed his eyes before Haymitch waved him and Finnick on to follow him into the other room, Peeta hugged his arms around his battered body.

He could feel the bile rising up into his throat, there were multiple things that could go wrong, and every scenario began to play through his mind.

A warm hand brought him back to reality, Peeta turned to the side to see Hazelle giving him a weak smile.

"Hazelle I want you and the boys out of the district now. When they come looking for me, I don't want them to find you."

She reached up patting his cheek," Oh sweet boy, Rory and Vick are already out of the district, they have been for a while. Gale's been looking over them, their well protected."

Peeta shook his head," I don't understand. Why would you stay? You're sons were gone, there wasn't any reason for you to stay behind."

She brushed his hair away from his face," Not all my sons," she smiled faintly, he could see the tears forming in her eyes," you just get that girl back, so we can be a family again soon."

Peeta gathered her in a tight hug," Yes, maam."

Hazelle squeezed back," I love you son."

Peeta bit back the tears," I love you too, mom."

* * *

The silence around her was almost comforting, she had come to the realization that death was meant to be met on your own, the solitude she had been suffering from had brought her to a place of clarity.

It had come at a price, after Peeta had been escorted from the hall, she could still hear him cry out from her position on the floor.

She had turned on her side pulling her knees up to her rib cage, her body rocking from side to side as she lost her mind in anguish.

She couldn't be accurate about how long she had stayed that way, only that her throat had become raw from her tears, and her arms had become numb from how tight she had hung onto herself.

It was then that her mind began to clear, her fate had already been set, and no amount of self pity was going to delay it.

She had pushed herself off of the floor slowly, the feeling in her legs hadn't yet returned and her balance was more than shaky.

Katniss walked back to the corner beside her etchings in the wall, hunched over, her energy already spent from the three foot walk.

She had pressed her back into the stone wall, her breathing filling the stone room with its only sound.

She kept her hand pressed against the rigid markings on the wall, like a symbol of faith, the etchings were her talisman.

Her hand wasn't as steady as his would have been, her lines were crude and shaky but even so she could recognize the significance of the wooded scene where fairies perched in the trees like birds about to take flight.

The nymphs took in the scene below where a gallant hero taught his lady love to dance underneath a sky of leaves and bright light.

Katniss had suffered through cracked, bloody nails, each line more painful to make than the next, but she pushed her mind past the anguish.

She had been small and scared when Peeta had first carved their fairy tale into the cement wall of the orphanage, the images giving her strength, a quality she carried with her when she had survived living beneath the city.

And now the lines were once again providing her with perseverance as she awaited her death with dignity and the grace Peeta believed she had.

Her hand shook on the wall as the temperature drop the room had sustained an hour ago was beginning to affect her.

Katniss pulled her legs tighter into her stomach, and with her free had she draped the hem of her gown over her feet.

Part of her was suspicious of the temperature drop, she assumed that it was a tactic used to disorient her, a way to amuse and pass the time before her demise.

She desperately memorized the lines on the wall, they would serve her well as her death approached, the images would be a reminder of Peeta before the darkness overtook her.

A tapping coming from the glass partition in front of her cell, caused her to look forward where a peacekeeper stood.

He tipped his head to her momentarily, which raised her curiosity, for the most part the guards didn't acknowledge her presence at all.

His shoulders hunched over a bit as he pressed in the code for admittance, her stomach lurched as the door popped open.

He stepped in, standing to his full height, his body slender but still muscular, his face however was obstructed by the visor lowered on his helmet.

Katniss attempted to question him but he wordlessly motioned for her to stand, she could already feel the grief wash over her, as she used the wall to steady her legs while she stood.

Her battered body was weak from lack of food and exercise, the guard seemed impatient with her as he rushed her grabbing her by the arm.

She couldn't hide the anger she felt at his need to rush her demise, it was insulting, but she reminded herself that district borns were nothing of importance to the people of the Capitol, and her death was nothing more monumental than when they took their breakfast in the dining hall.

She tried to pull her arm from his grasp, but he merely grunted and pulled her into him further.

Her feet scraped the floor beneath her as he dragged her from her cell, the hem of her gown tangling around her wobbly legs.

He pushed her forward, however it wasn't as rough as she expected the action to be, Katniss stumbled a few inches.

The guard reached out for her before she found her balance, but he pulled back when he noticed she had found her footing on her own.

This puzzled her more, his behavior was odd for a guard, she had run into more than a few during her time on the streets and she had never experienced the regard he was showing her now.

The trek down the corridor was longer than she had remembered from when she was first taken to her cell, and the walls had blended into white tile from the stone and cement she had seen.

She was tempted to question him, but she didn't want to irritate him enough that he would resort to violence.

She was aware of how ridiculous it sounded to not want to be injured before she was executed, but her body had been battered enough, and she wanted to spend the last minutes of her life relatively painless, up until her death.

The hem of her gown trailed behind her as she struggled to keep her footing straight," I think I always knew it would end this way," out of the corner of her eye she could see two guards approaching them, their pace was abnormally rushed," As though it was never something I should have questioned."

The guard that had led her out rushed up to her side, pulling her behind him, her body colliding with the stone wall. Her eyes barely had time to focus, before the guards approaching them fell to the floor, each with a blade protruding from their necks. Katniss leaned forward, to see the guard beside her pull his arm back from its extended position, her eyes wide as he looked over to her smirking.

"I don't think you saw that coming."

Katniss still stared at him with wide eyes, as she clung to the wall using it for support.

The man reached up to the helmet pulling it off before throwing it to the ground, a head of thick dark hair shined underneath the artificial light.

Katniss' voice was raw from lack of use, causing it to crack slightly as she spoke," Who are you?"

The dark haired man seemed unconcerned by her question as he made his way to where the guards from before now laid lifeless, a pool of blood starting to form.

He bent down, careful not to disturb the blood as he pulled the blades from the man, wiping the excess blood on the thigh of his pants, marring the white fabric of the peacekeeper uniform.

When he was pleased with the condition he slipped the blades into a strap at his waist, as he glanced over to her where she watched him wearily from her spot against the wall.

Standing up he moved to the foot of one of the bodies, pulling the man's boots off with a hard tug.

When the shoes were finally free, he proceeded to take the jacket from the man's back.

Katniss could already see the lining of blood by the buttons at the collar where the knife had been, but the dark haired man seemed to be unaffected.

He kept his steps precise and deliberate, he reminded Katniss of a grace that would only exist in her fairy tales of skilled hunters that braved the wild with only a dagger and great skill.

He swung the articles of clothing that he had taken over his shoulder, before rolling up his sleeves.

Katniss noticed the dark hue of his olive skin and the muscle that existed there, she had noticed his grey eyes from when he had glanced at her, and she had to admit that he was handsome.

His dark hair hung in his eyes as bent back over to drag the guards into a nearby room, the trail of blood forming behind him.

When he was done with the second, he pulled the shoes and jacket from his shoulders where he had placed them, holding them in his extended hands as he approached her.

"Here take these," he tossed the boots at her feet," you won't want to go bare foot where we'll be traveling soon," with more care than she would have expected he shook out the jacket before handing it to her," sorry about the stain, but dead men aren't very considerate about not bleeding over their clothes."

Katniss stared at the items before shaking her head," No, I'm not going with you."

He gritted his teeth before throwing the jacket at her chest," Lady, we don't have time for your crap, it won't take long until more guards discover you're gone."

Katniss threw the jacket to her feet," No, I'm not going anywhere with you until I know what's going on."

He narrowed his eyes," How about I just throw you over my shoulder?"

She leaned into him matching his glare," You do that and I'll use one your daggers on you."

He threw his hands up," You're crazy, no wonder he has a thing for you," he rubbed his hand over his face," I was sent to come get you, I'm Gale-"

Katniss pushed herself off of the wall," You're Hazelle's son."

He nodded," Yes."

She smiled slightly before a realization came over her," If you take me, they'll go after Peeta, I can't allow that."

He reached for her, clearly annoyed," Look, lady I came here to get you and that's what I'm going to do."

Katniss slapped his hand away," No, I won't do it."

He flinched away from her," I promise he's safe, alright," Katniss looked into his grey eyes, that seemed to be sincere," He's waiting for you right now. I wouldn't lie to you about this."

She nodded her head as she reached for the apparel on the ground," Alright."

Gale helped steady her as she pulled the oversized boots onto her feet, followed by the jacket that hung from her small frame.

She was halfway done buttoning the front when he grasped her forearm pulling her forward.

She didn't have to question his urgency, she too was suspecting a horde of peacekeepers to flood down the hallway any minute, so Katniss allowed him to lead her through a corridor that appeared like all the rest to her, but he seemed to know his way around.

There were a few times where he would press his back into the wall holding her there as well, as a guard walked past, she assumed to his post.

When the guard would pass, Gale would resume their brisk walk, it wasn't until they came to a loose board in the tile that he let go of her arm instructing her to crawl through.

Katniss did as he asked, her hands gripped the railing in front of her as darkness pooled around them, Gale was above her when her feet made contact with the familiar steel of the tunnels.

He landed beside her, turning in a circle before reaching for a lighter at his waist.

Katniss pushed his hand back," We don't need that."

Gale shook his head," Even with the minimal light shining through, we'll be walking in these tunnels for hours in the dark and I'm not going to get lost in this rat maze."

Katniss pushed the lighter further into his chest," I lived in this rat maze for years, without any additional source of light, and I know these tunnels better than anyone," she turned to the right," I'll lead you through, just tell me where we need to go."

Gale watched her for the longest time before conceding," Fine," he threw up his hands before pointing the direction she had turned," We need to go up to the north end that leads outside the walls of the city."

Katniss nodded before waving him on," Alright, let's go."

* * *

He couldn't stop the nervous energy that surged through his body, sitting still only made his anxiety rise, so he was resorted to pacing back and forth as he wore down a path of grass.

He ran a hand through his hair, the bangs falling back in front of his eyes when he drew his hand away.

His legs had already begun to tire a few hours before, however the constant movement seemed to quiet his mind if only for a few seconds.

Ever since they had left the district, Peeta had felt a nagging sense of doubt in the back of his mind.

Haymitch had tried to squash his negativity, which in itself was bizarre, but Peeta wouldn't allow himself to calm until he was positive that Katniss was safe.

He began to rub his hands together, before their idle energy drove him mad.

He continued to walk back and forth, as he looked over to his left where Haymitch sat in the grass, as calm as ever, as if waiting for prolonged periods of time was something normal for him.

Peeta watched as he pulled blades of grass free," So how long have you been leading the rebellion?"

Haymitch raised a brow," You want to talk about this now?"

Peeta scratched the back of his neck," What else are we going to do?"

Haymitch rubbed his face," Well first off, you can stop walking back and forth like a nut job and sit the hell down. You're making me want to puke, your anxiety is making me dizzy. I feel like I'm hung over but without all the fun stuff that comes before."

Peeta shook his hands out before sitting down in the grass with a thud," Alright."

Haymitch shook his head, a small smile forming at his lips," I've been working with the rebellion for a while."

Peeta began to pick at the grass," How long is a while? A few years? Before I came along?"

Haymitch swallowed hard," Before I lost Maysilee," Peeta looked up at him," I never stopped fighting kid. I just learned not to be so obvious about it."

"So all that time, when I thought you were drunk , or passed out in the cabin you were actually gone tending to rebel business."

Haymitch tilted his head," To be fair, I was drunk or passed out sometimes, but yes there were times I was gone from the district. Besides you're the idiot that kept paying me when I never fixed anything."

Peeta let out a low laugh," So you're the reason Snow has himself hid away in his personal garden behind locked doors?"

Haymitch's laugh surrounded them," That old bastard can't go without those damn flowers can he?"

Peeta joined in, a wide smile on his face," No, he can't," the muscles in his face relaxed," You know Haymitch what I said before about you and I not being family," Haymitch's laughter quieted down as the mood fell heavy," I didn't mean it, because you were right. You've been the only father I've had for a long time. The only memories I have of my real father are about after he died, and even though most of my memories with you consist of you swinging an axe at me or having you passed out on my bedroom floor, you're my father."

Haymitch turned his head scratching his brow, Peeta could hear him sniff loudly before turning back to face him," Well it would figure the only son I have would be a pain in the ass."

Peeta nodded his head before pulling a few blades of grass to throw at Haymitch," I wouldn't want to let you down."

Haymitch's posture straightened," You never could, kid."

* * *

The climate in the tunnels seemed colder and murkier than she had remembered, however she had grown accustomed to living above ground, where the temperature could be regulated.

Katniss drew the sides of the uniform jacket around her, the gauzy material of her execution gown didn't do much to keep the cold from reaching her skin, and she was thankful Gale had been considerate enough to retrieve the jacket.

He now sat beside her, his back pressed to the steel wall of the tunnel, his eyes constantly surveying the area around them.

An hour before they had heard more than one group of peacekeepers above, their boots colliding with the ground, causing the sound to echo below.

Gale had grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her to the wall with him, she had begun to protest, but then she had felt how his hand shook before reclaiming the false calm.

It was then that she realized he was just as frightened as she was, except for Katniss the tunnels were a place she could roam free, it was the vast world above that worried her.

Gale held onto her tight for another thirty minutes until he escorted her to a connecting pipe, Katniss crawled in first, the material of her gown stained black from the filth located all around.

Gale followed her, hoisting himself up with more care than she had, his back instantly pressing to the wall.

They had sat there in silence as the sounds above echoed around them, Gale's eyes scanning the area around them, his senses sharp, while his fingers stroked the handles of his daggers.

Katniss drew her legs up to her chest, listening for anymore signs of impending troops, luckily the sound of footsteps had quieted down, now only the bustle of transportation was heard.

She knew when a line was sent through, the tunnels would shake and rumble, she had kept her cool.

She couldn't help but giggle when Gale jumped slightly, his hands tightening around the handles of his blades.

Katniss pointed up, her voice quiet," It's only the rail lines," she placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly," you don't have to be scared."

Gale shrugged her off annoyed," I'm not scared."

Katniss shook her head at his denial, as he slid his body to the end of the tunnel, his head peeking out to hear for any incoming danger.

Gale kept his attention on the surrounding area, when he was satisfied, he swung his legs over the edge before jumping off.

Katniss was already behind him when he turned back to the intake pipe, he reached out to help her down.

She glared at his outstretched hand, before slapping it away, Gale smirked while Katniss jumped down into the standing water, droplets of rotten water splashing at his pants leg.

Katniss pushed him to the side lightly before leading him down the adjoining tunnel, " You know, we're lucky that pipe didn't fill with water while we were sitting in it."

Gale stopped immediately, worry etched around his eyes," Are you telling me we could have drowned?"

Katniss stilled her feet to turn around, facing him," But we didn't."

"We could have."

Katniss shook her head," Wow, you really are freaked out down here."

Gale glared at her before pushing past her, he turned back motioning in the direction ahead of them mutely asking Katniss if he was heading in the correct direction.

She nodded quickly before catching up with his long stride, Gale waited for her to stand beside him before he headed forward.

The tunnels echoed any sound from above, but luckily they were underneath enough steel and concrete that their footsteps couldn't be heard from above.

They had been walking in silence for awhile until Gale cleared his throat, his voice quiet and strained," My father died in a mining explosion, down in a deep dark hole. I think the tunnels remind me of it," he rubbed his face hard," It's funny because I always I assumed I would end up there, thankfully Haymitch came along and gave me a greater purpose."

Katniss pushed her hair behind her ears," You mother talked about your father to me some."

Gale looked over to her a brow lifted," You really do have something about you," he scratched the skin above his lip," You even have Peeta acting more like himself."

Katniss lowered her face smiling to herself at the mention of his name, before she turned back to Gale," What happened between you two?"

"You have to understand when Peeta first came to the district he was like any other kid, maybe defensive, but he and I had that in common, so we kind of drifted towards each other. My mom was so worried about him living in the manor by himself that we even moved in for awhile. We were like brothers, he followed me everywhere, but after his first _visit _to the Capitol, something changed in him. He would lock himself up in that art room, painting or drawing for hours, eventually we moved back into our home in the Seam," Gale's shoulders tensed," And then slowly he became someone I didn't know nor trust. He became this twisted version of himself, and I no longer saw my brother. It wasn't long after that, that I kept my distance and then left the district."

Katniss shook her head," You are such a stupid man."

Gale turned to her, his brow creased," Excuse me?"

She stopped," He withdrew himself from the world because it was easier to live inside his head, than it was to deal with the constant sexual abuse he was forced to endure," Katniss shook her head," You should have been there for him, instead of assuming he betrayed you."

She continued to walk down the dark tunnel, separating pipes allowed sunlight to filter in through intervals, she could hear Gale catch up with her, his steps heavier than they had been before, having her assume he was preoccupied.

"You know he never forgot you," Katniss looked over to where he had joined her at her side," when we shared a room he would have these nightmares, and I would hear him screaming out into the night for the girl with the dark hair and grey eyes. You're the girl from the orphanage aren't you?"

Katniss nodded," Yes."

Gale smiled softly," I understand why you might be unforgettable."

Katniss ducked her head, a blush rising up her cheeks, she was thankful that her hair was still long enough to hide her embarrassment.

Gale seemed unaffected by the sentiment, as he placed his hands back to his blades, his eyes scanning the perimeter around them.

Katniss didn't see the use since the tunnels were only big enough for them to travel shoulder pressed against shoulder, and the only way in or out was behind them or directly in front.

However, Gale was a soldier, she assumed he had always been even before Haymitch had recruited him.

There were qualities and talents people possessed even before those attributes were able to flourish, like Peeta and the skilled hand he had for creating pictures from images he only saw in his imagination, he could wield a paint brush the way Gale could wield his blades, with finesse and beauty.

They trekked through the dark tunnels in silence, she would occasionally feel his tense beside her when a sound echoed loud enough around them or when the rail lines had traveled above, but those were rare and had finally died out.

Katniss wondered how far they had already traveled, but she assumed it was quite far based on her knowledge of how much land the train lines covered.

Her legs were shaky at best, and she yearned for rest, but she didn't want to show any weakness around Gale who she was sure was used to this amount of walking.

However she had a feeling that the exhaustion depleting her energy would soon win over her pride, as her balance faltered, causing her to cling to the wall.

Gale was there pulling her to a standing position," We're almost there, I promise."

Katniss nodded her understanding, holding onto him as he helped her the rest of the way, his arm looped through hers.

She leaned into him slightly, her feet scooting the rest of the way, the oversized boots sliding back and forth to knock into her sore heels and the tips of her toes.

Katniss felt like collapsing when they finally reached a steel hatch located in front of them. Gale helped her to the side of the tunnel, positive that she was upright before he pushed the latch to the side and with a grunt and his full strength pulled the latch towards him.

A deep popping sound echoed through the tunnel, loud enough to startle Katniss, her wide eyes soon shutting closed from reflex when sunlight filtered through, bathing the both of them.

Gale exhaled a long sigh, due to the strength he had just exhibited, but Katniss assumed he was also relieved to be free of the darkness that the tunnels held.

It wasn't long until the sweet smell of grass and dirt flooded around her face, as the breeze carried it inside the tunnel.

Katniss smiled to herself, the scent reminded her of the woods, which in return made her think of Peeta.

She was lost in her thoughts of him when Gale reached for her arm pulling her into the light with him, the warmth of the sun erased the chill that tunnels had set in her body.

She closed her eyes reveling in the feel of it, the scent of something natural. Katniss opened her eyes when she heard the low whisper of her name as if it was a secret, that he had sent on the waves of the wind.

She inhaled slowly as her eyes adjusted to the sight of him standing a few feet from her, his hair hung around his face, but she could still see where his face had been bruised and beaten, small cuts covered his fair skin with red angry marks.

Katniss fought the urge to ask if she was dreaming, as she pulled her arm from Gale to run the length that separated her from him.

Her petite frame collided with his broad chest, his strong arms lifting her from the ground, as he buried his face in her hair.

Katniss could feel his warm lips touch the side of her neck, the skin there heating up, as he swung her around in the air.

Katniss choked out his name through a string of sobs and shortened breaths, he squeezed her sides tightly, his own voice faltering.

Finally he set her down into the field of grass, the weeds coming up to her knees.

Peeta's hands found her face, as he looked into her eyes," I thought I was going to lose you."

Katniss reached up, her fingers tangling in his hair," You almost did."

Peeta leaned down kissing her softly on the mouth before the kiss became almost frantic, and rushed as though they were dreaming and the fantasy would end soon.

Katniss was lost so in the feel of Peeta that she almost missed the high pitched whistle that came from the side.

They reluctantly parted to find Haymitch waiting with his arms crossed as Gale attempted to look everywhere but at the two lovers, his hands fidgeting with the blades at his waist.

Haymitch scratched the side of his beard," I know you two want to get lost in each other right now, but we need to get a move on."

Peeta nodded before walking to Haymitch, his hand interlocked with Katniss' as he pulled her forward with him.

Gale stood off to the side, watching Peeta closely as he glanced down at Katniss.

Peeta turned to Gale," Thank you for what you did," Peeta let go of Katniss' hand to bring Gale into a hug," You'll always be my brother… you always were."

Gale tightened the hug," Yeah ,me too."

Gale was the first to release as he cleared his throat, trying to mask the emotions running through him, Katniss shook her head at him.

Peeta turned back to Haymitch," You know this isn't goodbye, you promised to teach me to fight."

Haymitch threw his head back," God knows you need it," Haymitch drew Peeta into a hug his voice quiet enough in the meadow that only Peeta could hear," I'm always gonna be here for you."

Peeta nodded trying to fight back his own tears," I know."

Peeta pulled back, wiping at his eyes as Haymitch turned to Katniss," Well girl, you were as much of a pain in the ass I thought you would be," he laughed at the face she made her nose scrunched up," Thank you."

Katniss looked to Peeta before back to Haymitch," No problem."

Haymitch cleared his throat, before reaching down to a pack that had been hidden in the tall grass," Here's the directions to the safe house and some spending money with some previsions you'll need before you arrive," he stood up handing the pack to Peeta," Katniss will need to change before you two set off, they'll spot her in that outfit. Gale and I have to go another way, but we'll be seeing you soon."

With that Haymitch turned on his heel motioning for Gale to follow him, Gale tipped his head to the both of them before jogging the way up to Haymitch.

Peeta watched them go until they had made it to the tree line before he turned back to Katniss.

"Are you ready to start our lives together?"

Katniss shook her head," I've been ready since you first saw me through that window in the orphanage, when we started to fight dragons together."

Peeta smiled down at her, before bending down to capture her lips with his.

Katniss grasped his hand before pulling him forward with her, their steps in tune with each other.

It made her question if fairy tales really were true and the reality that the rest of the world believed to be true was only a lie.

* * *

_Epilogue_

She dug her toes into the sand, it shined like diamonds when the sun reflected off of it, the tiny white stones bathing her in warmth.

She could hear the tide rise up a few feet in front of her, the salt from the ocean wafting through the air to wrap the scent around her body.

Her dark hair touched the beach as she arched her back, her head leaning towards the ground.

Even after two years, she couldn't begin to grasp the beauty that the ocean held. It was birth and rebirth all at once, the sea was a mother who constantly wound souls together, her wrath as mighty as her beauty.

She pulled her hand from the grains of sand to place it on her stomach, with a soft hand she traced the protruding bump that had grown significantly in the past six months.

Katniss jumped a little in reflex when the side of her stomach fluttered, the soul she carried with in her possessing the fire she came to see in herself.

She giggled lightly to herself, imagining how much her life would change once the child was born, even though it frightened her, she was still ready to be a mother.

Footsteps alerted her to his presence, she had come to recognize the way his stride sounded, or the smell of his personal scent.

She kept her spot in the sand, waiting for him to join her, he sat down with a sigh, before turning towards her.

"Why is it every time I come back, you're right here?"

Katniss shrugged," I like the ocean."

Peeta tilted his head," I thought you liked the forest?"

She shrugged once more," That too, but the water calms me. You know how nuts I feel when you go off with Haymitch."

Peeta shook his head," Katniss you make it sound like we're going to go get drunk," he reached out placing his hand at her cheek to bring her face towards his," I'm working with the rebellion so that we can someday walk freely through the districts without having to worry about Snow's wrath."

She leaned into his palm," I know. It's just this pregnancy is making me go mad."

Peeta smirked," Let's be fair, it's not just the pregnancy."

She smacked his shoulder," You've been hanging around Gale too much."

Peeta laughed as he scratched at his jaw, the stubble there thicker than it had been the week before.

Katniss let her eyes run down the length of his body, he had gained muscle since they had escaped the Capitol.

Haymitch had demanded that he begin to gain muscle if he expected to be taught how to fight, which Peeta had.

The plain red flannel that he wore hung freely from his chest, but Katniss was more than acquainted with the muscles that hid beneath the material.

His appearance was much more relaxed than it had been when they had found each other, when he had been a companion and she was the mad girl he had rescued from the tunnels.

Katniss' eyes traveled up to his face where she noticed a large gash beneath his newly grown beard, her fingers tracing the line, causing Peeta to pull back.

"What happened?"

Peeta's hand traveled from her cheek to her hair line," I caught a knife, that's all."

Katniss rose up off of her elbows to sit up quickly, the action making her stomach ache," What? I thought you were hanging back."

Peeta's eyes traveled along her face," I was going to, but Haymitch needed an extra pair of hands."

"What happened to you being the brains of the operation? The brains stay back away from the danger, Peeta!"

He shrugged, "Katniss it's not that big of a deal," he stopped when she glared at him," Gale needed me to have his back, and things might have gotten a little out of hand. It was only supposed to be a routine supply run."

"You can't keep scaring me like this. I need you to be here."

Peeta's eyes locked with hers," I will always be here with you. I always have been haven't I? We protected each other in the orphanage, and even afterwards when we lost each other, we eventually found our way back."

She shook her head," You always were the only one I wanted. The prince with the steady hand, who lost his way, but who came to be known as the hero who fought and tamed the dragon. You've always been my dream, and I hope I never wake."

Peeta leaned into her, his lips crushing hers, the musky scent of him intoxicating, as he lowered their bodies to the sand. The world could be cruel and unexpected in hits grace all at once, and Katniss knew as he touched her that even with grief, true beauty could rise from the ashes.

**THE END**

* * *

****_A/N: I hope that the ending was satisfying, and again thank you to everyone who stuck with it. I should have a couple of new stories being posted in the next week, so keep an eye out for those. **Please Review.**_


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